Alex and Rob cast an irreverent eye over local news from their respective home towns.

Listeners can submit stories from their local area to:[email protected]

Stories this week include:

• Catford celebrates victory in UK's sexiest bus route competition.
• Court hears depraved man suggest Crayford day trip to unsuspecting partner.
• Driver refuses to pay delivery charge on chicken tikka after ploughing car in takeaway window.
• Restaurateur cautioned by police after force feeding expired food produce to grandmother following food hygiene inspection.

Also revealed: Our top three tips for correctly identifying excrement...