Alex and Rob cast an irreverent eye over local news from their respective home towns.

Listeners can submit stories from their local area to:[email protected]

Stories this week include:

• Manager politely reminds customer that staff will not exchange money for sex.
• Man demands refund from pet manufacturer after taking traumatised dog on luxury spa break.
• Woman disappointed after impulse buy with suggestive name turns out to be toy chicken.
• Cream tea offered as compensation to working class mother.

Also revealed: We demand to know how far away the goats are?!