Alex and Rob cast an irreverent eye over local news from their respective home towns.

Listeners can submit stories from their local area to:[email protected]

Stories this week include:

• Local idiot considers buying lock after theft of eighth consecutive bicycle.
• Pizza restaurant moves to trademark dish after ceiling falls into customer's dessert.
• Miserable child believed to be reincarnation of William Hogarth.
• War veteran claims WWII was due to Third Reich's automated financial transactions.

Also revealed: Alex's alarming inability to name everyday household objects.

And much, much more...