Alex and Rob cast an irreverent eye over local news from their respective home towns.

Listeners can submit stories from their local area to:[email protected]

Stories this week include:

• Octogenarian spends 30 hours in lay-by surviving on nothing but Werther's Originals.
• Father of 'Hero' carpenter misquotes biblical proverb.
• Reporter sells family possessions to pawn shop.
• 'Cat Catcher' 2000 deployed in complete secrecy.

Also revealed: Alex's astonishing lack of knowledge of nightclubs.

And much, much more...