Alex and Rob cast an irreverent eye over local news from their respective home towns.

Listeners can submit stories from their local area to:[email protected]

Stories this week include:

• Axe wielding manic claims attack was justified after spurned lover makes obscene request.
• Local man apologises after Higgs boson eBay prank results in creation of black hole.
• Elderly women mistakenly sells dog as ornament at car boot sale.
• Marlborough Jazz Festival rescued at eleventh hour by Keith 'Cheggars' Chegwin and Jimmy Crankie lookalike.

Also revealed: The unmasking of the mysterious Xavier 'Dick' Catalyst.

And much, much more...