Alex and Rob cast an irreverent eye over local news from their respective home towns.

Listeners can submit stories from their local area to:[email protected]

Stories this week include:

• Editor spotted releasing horses onto local common.
• Dog mess passes Fitness to Work assessment after clerical error.
• Love blossoms after man tells partner he wished they'd never met.
• Pensioner arrested after conducting guided tours of red-light districts.

Also revealed: First come, first served...