Alex and Rob cast an irreverent eye over local news from their respective home towns.

Listeners can submit stories from their local area to:[email protected]

Stories this week include:

• Southeastern shocked to learn station staff consisted of local amateur dramatics society.
• Grieving swan takes own like after refusing counselling.
• Austerity measures hit hard as family are forced to substitute birthday cake with biscuits.
• Shoplifter given the sweet taste of freedom after court appearance.

Also revealed: We have some 'exciting' news...