Alex and Rob cast an irreverent eye over local news from their respective home towns.

Listeners can submit stories from their local area to:[email protected]

Stories this week include:

• Owner of doomed hardware store accused of parking space theft.
• Coroner mistakenly asked to repair guttering at care home.
• Large member picks fight with man dressed as large member.
• Couple in shock after experiencing no paranormal activity whatsoever in haunted pub.

Also revealed: We feature a comment from a well-adjusted reader...