Alex and Rob cast an irreverent eye over local news from their respective home towns.

Listeners can submit stories from their local area to:[email protected]

Stories this week include:

• Bananas uncovered as new gateway drug.
• Top ten best sociopathic chat-up lines revealed.
• Grieving Orpington man denies knowledge of pre-booked break to Amsterdam after funeral.
• Croydon chosen as new face of mayonnaise.

Also revealed: We fondly remember the Mir Space Station Fire.