Alex and Rob cast an irreverent eye over local news from their respective home towns.

Listeners can submit stories from their local area to:[email protected]

Stories this week include:

• Criminal receives 'Get out of Jail' free card after successfully committing all known offences.
• 'Money over Humanity' slogan dropped by global restaurant chain.
• Mayor outlines controversial crocodile defence tax.
• Middle-class toddler trouser horror.

Also revealed: We converse with a pond...