Alex and Rob cast an irreverent eye over local news from their respective home towns.

Listeners can submit stories from their local area to:[email protected]

Stories this week include:

• Disgruntled park keeper admits laying poison sandwich traps.
• Smoke alarm aid burns in fire.
• Arsene Wenger denies Joan of Arc rumour.
• Pathetic child distressed after find rat in bed.

Also revealed: How to fit a duvet through a letterbox...