Stories this week include:

• Lonely bachelor living vicariously through cat manages to entice fox into grubby world.
• Monkey with drink problem purchased by Eynsford based wildlife centre.
• Man carrying child in fancy dress spotted walking along westbound carriageway of M60.
• Woman fails to identify brand of chicken and mushroom slice that led to vicious altercation.

Also revealed: Alex learns of the mystical town of Uttoxeter...