Segment 1: Zendaya continues to feed the rumors that she and Tom Holland were secretly married. The “Euphoria” star was seen wearing what appears to be a wedding ring to the premiere of her new film, “The Drama”. She previously appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live, saying that even some of her close friends were disappointed to NOT be invited to the wedding, which evidently didn’t happen. Or did it?

Segment 2: Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco spent time on the beach following criticism of Blanco’s dirty feet. Gomez posted a pic of them posing for a puckered-up selfie in front of a giant poster of Margot Robbie and Jacob Elordi in “Wuthering Heights,” in a sun-filled living room overlooking a body of water. Hopefully, Benny dipped those dirty feet of his in the WATER.

Segment 3: Jennifer Lopez was performing at her Las Vegas residency show when she tripped on stage at the Colisseum at Caesar’s Palace while performing her 2011 hit “On the Floor.” Lopez, 56, was wearing a sparkly, black bodysuit with a giant red rose broach, when she went to kick her leg up and tripped. She’s lucky her ASS didn’t end up “ON THE FLOOR.”

Segment 4: Harry Styles and Zoe Kravitz seem to be getting serious. Yep. Despite them previously saying that they were “not exclusive”, they appear to be finding more time to be together. The couple was recently seen strolling around New York City arm in arm. Looks like Harry’s celebrating his #1 album, ‘Kiss All the Time. Disco, Occasionally’ with his…AMERICAN GIRL.

Segment 5: Michael B Jordan won the Best Actor Oscar for “Sinners” and he credited past winners that came before him like Sidney Poitier and Halle Berry. Jessie Buckley became the first Irish actress to win the Oscar for Best Actress for her role in “Hamnet.” If you haven’t seen “Hamnet” yet, make sure you have plenty of TISSUES on hand. What? No. I’m not crying.

Segment 6: Dead Or Alive: Adrian Grenier is best known as the lead in the hit HBO series “Entourage” that ran from 2004 to 2011. Dead Or Alive? ALIVE. Grenier appeared in the 2006 film “The Devil Wears Prada” opposite Anne Hathaway but he was NOT asked to join the upcoming sequel. Grenier is now better known as WHO?

Segment 7: Doja Cat revealed she’s struggling with borderline personality disorder. She said, quote, “I’ve learned from a very young age to pretend that I like stuff, to pretend that I’m happy, to appear like everything is okay. I’m now struggling with borderline personality disorder”. Unquote. She has been touring for months so WHICH personality did fans SEE?

Segment 8: Ariana Madix will return to host “Love Island” Season 8 on June 2nd, from Fiji. Plus, NBC Universal streamer Peacock will air “Love Island: Beyond The Villa” which will premiere April 15th. Madix used to be a bartender at SUR in West Hollywood before appearing on the reality show ‘Vanderpump Rules’. This all proves that people love to watch CRAP.

Segment 9: Steve Carrell, best known for “The Office” stars in “Rooster”, which was HBO’s most-watched comedy premiere in the U.S. in 10 years. It reached 2.4 million U.S. cross-platform viewers in the first three days and SINCE then, the audience for “Rooster” has grown four times since premiere night. Grown FOUR times? That’s what SHE said.

Segment 10: Idiot Of The Week – Bethenny Frankel sliced her face open while trying a new beauty tool. The former “Real Housewives of New York City” star filmed the aftermath of the incident and shared it as a warning to her followers on social media. Holding a bloody wipe to her face to stop the gashes along her jaw from bleeding, she continues to be a bonified IDIOT!

Segment 11: Pink Floyd guitarist David Gilmour’s black stratocaster sold for a HUGE amount of money. The guitar Gilmore played on such classics as “Money” and “Comfortably Numb” sold at Christie’s for a whopping 14 million, 550 thousand dollars. The pre-auction estimate was between 2 and 4 million, so those estimators must have been from the dark side of the moon…

Segment 12: 101 Studios, the producers of “Landman” and “Yellowstone,” has acquired rights to “Stripped Down: Unfiltered and Unapologetic,” a memoir by Bunnie Xo, aka MRS JELLYROLL. The best seller explores her rags-to-riches journey from a Las Vegas trailer park to media mogul-hood as the founder of Dumb Blonde Productions. She’s now Jelly-Rollin’ in cash.

Segment 13: Larry David’s HBO comedy series, “Life, Larry and the Pursuit of Unhappiness: An Almost History of America” will satirize the United States in celebration of its 250th anniversary. It will also feature fellow Curb Your Enthusiasm regulars Jeff Garlin, JB Smoove and Susie Essman, and will premiere June 26th. PRETTY, PRETTY GOOD.

Segment 14: Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce DID get out to celebrate the Oscar parties in LA, but they were pretty hard to find. They mainly hung out at THE most exclusive Oscar party – Madonna’s shindig at Manager Guy Oseary’s house in the Hollywood Hills. But the power couple was also seen later sneaking into Beyonce and Jay Z’s party at Chateau Marmot. Hmm. Are they hiding something?

Segment 15 – Trash Bin: Kanye West has been ordered to pay his former project manager, Tony Saxon, following a lawsuit over the rapper’s Malibu home. Saxon wasn’t paid, was seriously injured, and was wrongfully terminated while working on West’s 57 million dollar mansion. Though Saxon had asked for 1.7 MILLION in damages, he received ONLY 140 grand. Yé.

Segment 16: News Wrap Up

a) As the world becomes more cashless, there’s a decreasing need for bank branches and ATM’s.

b) Amazon Prime will cost $4.99 a month in the U.S., up from $2.99, starting April 10th.

c) Nintendo sold 2.2 million units of “Pokémon Pokopia” in the first four days after its release.

d) Amazon owned Zoox has reached a partnership to offer its robotaxis on Uber’s app. GADZOOKS, man. That’s GOOD news!

Segment 17: Number Ones – Hoppers, Harry Styles, Procreate Pocket, Judge Stone

Segment 18: Song Of The Week – Alex Warren – “Fever Dream”

Alex Warren’s night at the Grammys should have been a career high for him but INSTEAD, his performance of “Ordinary” was marred by technical difficulties. He tried to do his best but the delay caused him to be out of sync with the music track. He was so down that he was convinced he was finished in the music industry. He posted a video later explaining what happened, but deleted all his

social media, not wanting to see people’s comments. It turned out he received 60 million views and people were SUPPORTIVE. And now, Warren is back with a new track which we LOVE.

Here’s Alex Warren with the Song of the Week, “Fever Dream.”

That was Alex Warren with the Song of the Week, “Fever Dream.”

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