By Linda Leising
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The podcast currently has 22 episodes available.
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Is it possible to spiral upward?
Linda shares her visual model for growth and development. Let's enjoy this ride together!
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Welcome to Season 3 of Ladies Like Us!
1. Intro – Hi it’s me. I'm back to champion my Otherhood people and their life concerns
2. This season is all about finding the deepest level of approval for ourselves. And the Upward Spiral. This is for everyone, not just the Otherhood.
3. Kicking off with a talk about self validation.
It’s not always clear how our validation pathways get set up. There’s a concept that’s been studied in psychology called the locus of control. It’s tied to our individual experiences of success and failure and the main distinction is that those with an external – believe life is happening TO them, and that they are powerless against what life has in store for them, vs an internal locus --- which has people operating from a place of self trust and belief in their ability to make things happen—their agency.
How do we develop and discover where our personal source of agency lies?
This is a big topic, and I can’t fully unpack it here, but listen to what I lay out as a foundation towards self approval and self trust-- 2 big topics this season.
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"Sometimes having it all is being able to have a relationship with what you didn't get to have and feeling whole anyway. "
Unless you live under a rock, you've witnessed Jennifer Aniston poked and prodded with motherhood expectations and speculations for almost 20 years.
In a recent article in Allure's final print copy, Jennifer finally addresses her motherhood challenges and discloses how she got into the arena on her own terms.
In this episode Linda unpacks her experience of Jennifer's motherhood journey, addresses being part of a judging public, and gratefully thanks her for bravely sharing her vulnerable experience.
In trying to create motherhood, however it works out, however that journey plays out, you are allowed to feel whole and perfect. You can decide that life is happening FOR you, no matter what happens.
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Let's think an unthinkable thought:
What if there's no one to remember me when I die? Remember what I wanted?
What if all of my stuff just gets chucked into a dumpster donated to Goodwill, and that's the end of me?
Pretty awful thought, right?
Let's slow down and look at what we are really desiring and what we are really fearing.
In this episode Linda unpacks why we want a legacy.
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Linda unpacks a jarring Mother's Day experience from the year before and reflects on what happened since:
I had to create a safe distance from last year's Mother’s Day to do this episode. I’ll bet you’re wondering why! As much as I’m a champion of mothering energy and inclusivity in that world, I experienced what I would call a profound separation from that. And now I’m ready to talk about it.
You can't always get what you want. But sometimes... you get what you need. Believe it.
Key nuggets
Thanks for listening!
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How are you talking to yourself when it comes to your goals?
Need to do versus want to do carry very different energy. Your body perceives the task, goal, or activity very differently depending on word choice.
Should. Need to. Have to.
Believe it or not, it can subconsciously alter your energy for a given task or goal.
And unless you shift that energy, it's, it's always going to feel like a struggle.
Linda unpacks how some of the language we use around our goals points to avoidance. Framing things as "need to" reveals your subconscious feeling about a task and keeps you in the energy of how you'll feel if you don't do it. Which robs you of the energy to DO IT.
Saying " I want to" or "I choose to" calls forth energy.
Once again, this is likely a vestige from our childhood. We use the kind of language we hear growing up and don't question it. But beyond that, there is how childhood is structured.
We're either getting in trouble or, or we're getting a star, but either way we're trying to figure out what the adults want and how we're going to get rewarded and avoid punishment.
This polarity sets up how we view what we need to do. It seems like I have to do it--whether it's " I have to do it this way so is I don't get punished or I have to do it this way to get rewarded.
As kids we take that assignment seriously.
And as kids, we can indicate desire-- I want this and I wanted that and et cetera, et cetera.
But kids don't have the power to get those things, at least not outrightly. So we have to manipulate to get those things, to get our desires met, so to speak.
So it makes sense that the language of I want -- of desire-- got replaced with, language that reflected the value system of the adults around us.
And what happens next? Most of us just grow from that place, but still have that in place. then we create a more sophisticated version of punishment and reward.
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What does belonging mean to you?
As a definition, it's an affinity for a place or a situation. It can be a feeling that you can be yourself that you're loved welcomed. That you'd be missed if you were away.
It's also a feeling of security and support we feel when there a sense of acceptance, inclusion, and identity for a member of a certain group. It is when an individual can bring their authentic self to the table and feel like themselves.
Ladies Like Us was created as a place where feel that sense of belonging.
But here's the thing,,, belonging is a two way street and an inside job.
How?
Otherhood, or childless not by choice individuals often feel uninvited to the table by society at large. But more often than not, it's the internal "otherness" we are bringing into the room that makes us feel "other", rather than the majority actually pointing at us and telling us we are other. There are plenty of groups you don't want to belong to. When you aren't invited to these groups, you literally don't give an F. Why? It holds no heat for you because the values of that group don't matter to you.
Others--It makes total sense to get triggered by this and have belonging become a difficult subject... But it doesn't have to stay that way.
The biggest shift you can experience, is to become clear on where and when you feel a sense of belonging. And bring that back to yourself. How are you creating belonging inside yourself? What is the sense of belonging you can take with you anywhere? You can literally create the experience of belonging.
Learn a quick exercise to bring you back to yourself.
Coming back to yourself helps unhook you from outside influences which are constantly fluctuating and distorting you from your true belonging and wholeness.
You belong. You are whole. You are perfect, just as you are.
XOXO
Linda
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How do you perceive yourself? REALLY.
Is it your resume and property? Your achievements?
Life purpose gets uncovered when we sink down a few layers (and float up a few, depending on your perspective) and we download the CV of your soul.
Some key points:
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Stop Giving Life Purpose the Side-Eye!
Life is happening FOR you, remember?
So if life is happening FOR you, what is it happening FOR?
A lot of folks get nervous when they hear about life purpose or they hear that term and their eyes might kind of glaze over. I was in that boat too.
Here's what I've learned:
The quality of questions we ask ourselves, directly impacts how much creativity and creatorship we experience in our lives. What are your experiences awakening you to?
It's not that a higher power is doling out life purposes etched in stone-- that would set us up for failure and who needs that? Following the popcorn trail of your desires, attractions, joys, strengths, skills, and choices can lead to a place where purpose reveals itself. Oh, and you can have more than one purpose, so don't get FOMO.
Childlessness can impact a sense of life purpose, but make no mistake, non-parents have purpose. If anything, we are called to a more creative path to finding our life purpose because our lives don't resemble what came before us. Embrace it.
We are here to grow, period. When you attach purpose to the direction you are growing in, you grow exponentially faster. So what are you waiting for?
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It's Season 2 of Ladies Like Us!
We are kickstarting with one simple concept.
What if, instead of life happening TO us, life was happening FOR us?
Listen in to learn a beautiful hack that gets you aligned with gratitude, creatorship, personal power, and the language of your SOUL.
Happy 2022!
The podcast currently has 22 episodes available.