We are constantly distracted with memories and old stories that continue to play in the back of our minds. Or our thoughts distract us so loudly we can barely focus on anything else. Sometimes we are like the song “Neither one of us wants to be the first to say goodbye”, by Gladys Knight and the Pips. We get up the nerve to stand up for ourself, or take a step and them something stops us. This dynamic can be in relationships, friendships, business and at work. We are afraid that the outcome will be sad, bad or make us mad. So we keep settling or saying maybe I’ll do it tomorrow or maybe it will get better. We believe we can't do any better or get any better. We begin to block out the reality of what we have experienced. We delete, distort and generalize the painful, embarrassing or regretful parts. But sadly, in our hearts quest to bury all the pain we bury some good memories. We forget how strong and capable we really are. We forget how resilient we are and how much determination we once had. As the song Neither one of us wants to be the first to say goodbye, says we go on living a lie. Telling ourselves we aren't good enough. The truth is we are great; we are amazing. We believe a lie. It's not the end. The pain, the hurt, the abandonment, the rejection, the demotion, the repossession, the foreclosure, the divorce, the bankruptcy were all one stop on the journey of life. Imagine a cross-country train ride with multiple stops in every city and every state. We would never rate the entire trip based one stop or one city, no matter how sad or difficult that city was. Stevie Wonder said in his song For Once in My Life I won't let sorrow hurt me like it hurt me before. He said as long as I know I have love I can take it. So can we. We can bounce back from abuse, abandonment, rejection, cruelty, mean words, guilt, shame, bad choices, being ignored, passed over, feeling invisible, staying too long, not staying long enough. Sometimes we are training people on the job, only to watch them get promoted over us. Maybe they are genuinely better, maybe not. Maybe its politics. Maybe it had to do with a random comment that was made in the break room two years ago that we don't even remember.
Whether our words were taken out of context or should never have been spoken here we are. We need to be professional, gracious and respectful every day at all times. The lunch lady could be the principal or CEO's grandmother who just wants to get out the house for a few hours each day. As one of my Pastors says there are no big I's and little you's. Everyone matters. On the other side of the coin there is no spotlight and marquee over your head pointing out all your shortcomings all day every day, so we have to give ourselves a pass and stop being so hard on ourselves. Like Rafekee said in the Lion King, its in the past let it go. Even if we didn't handle things in the most efficient efficient way in the past doesn't mean we can't course correct now. You don't have to be great to start. But you do have to start to be great. A journey of a thousand miles or half a mile begins with a single step. Withholding, self sabotage, sabotaging others, passive aggressiveness all affect our ability to take action, organize our activities and manage our time. Its hard to run a ship effectively if we can't even manage our thoughts or make decisions. Where ever we go there we are. Our outer world, from our car trunk, to our glove box, to the junk drawer in our kitchen are a reflection of our inner world. If our mind is cluttered and chaotic that is how our life is going to show up. Unpacking our hangups and hiccups is a step on the road to mindset recovery and productivity. Its now or never. Things will stay the same if we don't open our minds. Most of us can't even be fully honest on the personality test at work. Our mind is saying should I tell the truth, what they want to hear or what will make me look good. Integrity is an inside job. Mindset runs it all.
