Stories this week include:

• Vicar gets stolen house back only to find it full of squatters.
• Elderly couple allegedly conned out of full rack of ribs.
• Somerset Gimp banned from wearing gimp suit and 'crawling, wriggling or writhing' for five years.
• Luminous sludge oozing from New York streets completely normal state city officials.

We discover the new John Mooner...

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