Laughing Through The Pain: Navigating Wellness

Andy Esam turns the microphone round and asks Richard about the argument behind Cut Off: that therapy culture has raised the bar on parenting to a height no parent can clear, and then handed adult children a language for calling the shortfall abuse.

They get into why "good enough" used to mean keeping a child fed and safe and now means regulating their nervous system; how complex PTSD arrived as a diagnosis the DSM-5 declined; why the most effective treatment in all of therapy is exposure and the most common advice in therapy culture is avoidance; and what happens when the only account a therapist ever hears is the one in the room. Andy also talks about his own years in therapy, and the point at which he went from "my parents were normal" to "my parents are the reason", and back again.

It is not a defence of bad parents. Richard says plainly that if you had to pick a side, the adult children are probably right more often than not. The argument is about the cases in between, and about what a system that never asks a second question does to them.

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Cut Off: An Evening with Richard L. Blake, PhD. Thursday 19 November 2026, 6 to 7:30pm MST, 108 North Park Street, Woodland Park, Colorado. Get tickets on Eventbrite

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Chapters

00:00 An impossible standard for parents
02:10 How complex PTSD got invented
04:24 How Andy and Richard both got here
07:11 "I thought my parents were fine"
09:51 How effective is therapy, really?
12:13 Dogs, phobias, and the avoidance problem
15:06 Rapport, expectation, and the delicate dance
17:25 Who the book is actually for
22:21 Therapy literacy as a generational weapon
24:52 When "boundary" stops meaning anything
27:32 The oxygen mask problem
32:33 Victim culture and the dark triad
35:18 Fox News, mediation, and reconciliation
37:47 The caveat: real abuse happens
42:31 Most estrangements end

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Ever found yourself grappling with imposter syndrome while striving to balance expertise and humility? You're not alone. Join us as we wrap up our wellness podcast series, sharing the heartfelt highs and reflective lows of our journey. From the very first spark of an idea to achieving a milestone of 44 episodes, we've faced challenges, embraced growth, and forged connections with incredible guests who have expanded our understanding of wellness in mind, body, and spirit. This episode is a celebration of shared accomplishments, the joy of collaboration, and a look forward to exciting new opportunities on the horizon.Discover the evolving world of breathwork as we discuss our roles in education, the significance of trauma awareness, and the strides being made in raising training standards. Reflecting on the art of podcasting, we'll share insights on engaging respectfully yet critically with guests, balancing candid discourse while maintaining integrity. As we transition to new endeavors like the Momentum program, co-hosting Runga Radio, and participating in the Health Optimization Summit, we express deep gratitude for the community that has supported us. Join us for this final chapter, filled with stories, insights, and a heartfelt thank you to all who have been part of our transformative journey.

Find us on InstagramRichard @The_Breath_GeekYouTube - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCl_gOq4wzRjwkwdjYycAengWebiste - www.TheBreathGeek.comPlease leave us a review, like and subscribe.

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Ever wondered how a simple breath could transform your life? Join us as we unlock the secrets of breathwork with our insightful guest, Guy Fincham from the University of Leeds. Guy takes us on his personal journey through health challenges and academic rigor, highlighting the authentic and methodical approach he brings to researching breathwork. From dealing with chronic fatigue syndrome to exploring the Wim Hof Method and gentler practices like Qigong and yoga, Guy's journey is a testament to the potential healing power of breathwork.Our conversation doesn't shy away from critically examining the science behind these practices. Guy candidly addresses the limitations and criticisms of his studies, emphasizing the necessity of informed consent and the importance of safe practices, especially for individuals with specific health conditions. Discover the intriguing findings from his PhD studies, which challenge assumptions about the effectiveness of popular breathwork techniques. We also delve into the complexities and nuances of measuring breathwork's impact on mental and physical health, offering a balanced perspective on its transformative potential.We also tackle the exciting research frontiers in breathwork, exploring its role in sports performance and its capacity to induce altered states of consciousness. Guy shares insights into ongoing projects, including research on breathwork’s benefits for menopausal symptoms and social anxiety. Our engaging discussion touches on the spiritual roots and cultural significance of these practices, ensuring a well-rounded exploration of their profound impact. Whether you're a seasoned practitioner or a curious newcomer, this episode promises to enrich your understanding of breathwork's remarkable potential.00:00 Introduction and Beginnings02:14 Discovering Breathwork03:06 Healing Through Breathwork03:36 Research and Academic Journey04:24 Understanding Breathwork Practices06:57 Mechanisms of Conscious Connected Breathing23:38 Challenges and Criticisms in Breathwork Research27:32 Introduction to Jack Kruse28:12 Current Hot Topics in Research29:23 The Importance of Breathwork30:18 Research Questions and Focus Areas30:55 Historical and Cultural Roots of Breathwork32:31 Gaps in Breathwork Research38:23 Breathwork and Sports39:24 Challenges in Clinical Trials for Breathwork48:30 Future Directions and Projects50:50 Conclusion and Contact InformationFOLLOW OUR SOCIALSGuest: Guy FinchamX: https://x.com/breath_GuyLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/guywilliam/HOSTS:Richard BlakeInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/The_Breath_Geekhttps://richardlblake.com/https://linktr.ee/RichardLBlakeFacebook: @TheOptimisedUAndy EsamInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/andyesam/LISTEN AND WATCH OUR PODCASTLaughing Through The Pain: Navigating WellnessApple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/laughing-through-the-pain-navigating-wellness/id1726046369Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2TdW2qSWyVpXUyfKvNrBon?si=ef3963a93fd44323Buzzsprout: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2289623

Find us on InstagramRichard @The_Breath_GeekYouTube - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCl_gOq4wzRjwkwdjYycAengWebiste - www.TheBreathGeek.comPlease leave us a review, like and subscribe.

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Kick off your journey to authenticity and personal growth with insights from our guest, Alex Manzi, a dynamic creator and coach with roots in the music industry and a stint at BBC Radio 1Xtra. Alex shares his experiences coaching high-profile clients and offers strategies for maintaining a healthy relationship with social media, a crucial element in our ever-connected world. We untangle the regional differences in TikTok's algorithm and discuss how these variations influence user behavior, setting the stage for a broader conversation on mindful social media use.Reflective tales from both hosts take us through personal transformations sparked by moments of profound unhappiness, despite seemingly successful lives. We explore the pivotal role of authenticity in finding true fulfillment, sharing how books, meditation, and launching a self-development podcast for the UK audience were instrumental in our paths. The episode doesn't shy away from vulnerability; instead, it examines overcoming fears of judgment and the power of sharing personal stories to foster genuine connections.Finally, we tackle the challenge of balancing growth with authenticity in a world where vulnerability can be commodified. You'll hear about the importance of intentional social media usage, avoiding the trap of endless scrolling, and the broader implications of digital distractions on our attention spans. We wrap up by emphasizing the need for self-reflection and rest, using personal anecdotes and strategies to illustrate how prioritizing well-being can lead to a more balanced, fulfilling life. Tune in to gain valuable insights and practical advice on navigating the complexities of personal and professional growth.About the guest:Alex Manzi is a Creator and Coach who works with Creatives and Entrepreneurs to help them optimise their mindset so that they can bring their dream projects to life. Alex is also the host of 'In The Moment with Alex Manzi' which is one of the most downloaded self-development podcasts in the UK as well as the author of the book 'The Search For Clarity' which he released in 2020.FOLLOW OUR SOCIALSGuest: Alex ManziInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/IAmAlexManzi/Top 5 Health & Lifestyle podcast: ‘In The Moment with Alex Manzi’Book: ‘The Search For Clarity’ http://thedreamersdisease.co.uk/clarityWeb: thedreamersdisease.co.ukHOSTS:Richard BlakeInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/The_Breath_Geekhttps://richardlblake.com/https://linktr.ee/RichardLBlakeFacebook: @TheOptimisedUAndy EsamInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/andyesam/LISTEN AND WATCH OUR PODCASTLaughing Through The Pain: Navigating WellnessApple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/laughing-through-the-pain-navigating-wellness/id1726046369Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2TdW2qSWyVpXUyfKvNrBon?si=ef3963a93fd44323Buzzsprout: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2289623

Find us on InstagramRichard @The_Breath_GeekYouTube - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCl_gOq4wzRjwkwdjYycAengWebiste - www.TheBreathGeek.comPlease leave us a review, like and subscribe.

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Unlock the secrets of stress management with our special guest, Matt Soule, a senior instructor in the Wim Hof organization. Gain rare insights from Matt as he demystifies the Wim Hof Method, offering practical wisdom on managing stress and exploring the minimum effective dose of cold exposure. Discover how safe cold therapy practices and breathwork can revolutionize your stress response, enhancing your ability to adapt and thrive in our fast-paced world. As we discuss the nuances of the breathwork industry, Matt shares his efforts to maintain integrity and quality instruction amidst its growing popularity.Venture into the personal journey of overcoming adversity with a moving narrative on the transformative power of martial arts in stress management. Matt brings to light how childhood trauma and personal challenges can be harnessed for growth, resilience, and empowerment. Hear the stories of individuals whose lives were changed by the Wim Hof Method, from a former special forces operative managing PTSD to a woman battling autoimmune disorders. Their experiences underscore the method's potential to foster a growth mindset and a sense of control over one’s well-being.Explore the expanding world of cold therapy and breathwork instruction, as Matt discusses the evolution of the Wim Hof Method and breathwork standards. Learn about the structured curriculum developed for teaching this method and the importance of maintaining high teaching standards. We also delve into the accessibility of these practices, highlighting how you can incorporate the benefits of cold exposure and breathwork into your daily life. Matt shares his personal experiences with data-driven approaches to breathwork, revealing why continuous education and a curious mindset are crucial in this rapidly evolving field.FOLLOW OUR SOCIALSGuest: Matt SouleInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/mattsoulesr5/Website: https://www.mattsoule.com/https://mattsoulesr5.carrd.co/https://www.amazon.com/Stronger-Through-Stress-Mastering-Performance/dp/1736296981/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=HOSTS:Richard BlakeInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/The_Breath_Geekhttps://richardlblake.com/https://linktr.ee/RichardLBlakeFacebook: @TheOptimisedUAndy EsamInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/andyesam/LISTEN AND WATCH OUR PODCASTLaughing Through The Pain: Navigating WellnessApple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/laughing-through-the-pain-navigating-wellness/id1726046369Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2TdW2qSWyVpXUyfKvNrBon?si=ef3963a93fd44323Buzzsprout: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2289623

Find us on InstagramRichard @The_Breath_GeekYouTube - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCl_gOq4wzRjwkwdjYycAengWebiste - www.TheBreathGeek.comPlease leave us a review, like and subscribe.

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Join us as Dr. Torkil Færø, a trailblazer in the world of holistic health and author of "The Pulse Cure," challenges everything you thought you knew about sun exposure, stress, and well-being. By questioning conventional wisdom, Dr. Torkil aligns with the biohacker movement and introduces us to the transformative power of pilgrimages for mental and physical health. Through his personal stories and experiences, Dr. Torkil offers a fresh perspective on diet, fasting, and the revolutionary role of wearables in modern health management.Explore the profound insights into heart rate variability (HRV) and its critical role in understanding our stress responses. Discover how HRV serves as a window into our autonomic nervous system, revealing how lifestyle choices like diet, alcohol consumption, and even social interactions impact our well-being. With fascinating revelations about the benefits of pushing personal limits and the surprising comfort of social interactions, we delve into how tracking HRV can be a proactive tool for early disease detection and lifestyle optimization.We also dive into the complexities of sun exposure and modern lifestyle choices, drawing on a UK biobank study to challenge the fear of melanoma from sun exposure. Dr. Torkil illuminates the benefits of sunlight beyond vitamin D, while questioning the safety of conventional sunscreens. As we navigate the evolving landscape of wellness, the conversation shifts towards the future of personalized health, where technology and AI empower us to shift from illness treatment to prevention. Join us for a thought-provoking journey into the future of health and well-being, where the power to optimize our health is at our fingertips.FOLLOW OUR SOCIALSGuest: Dr. Torkil FærøInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.torkil/Website: https://pulskuren.no/Book: https://www.athenas.no/foredragsholdere/torkil-faeroe/?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAaY1xyHtb8WHZ1O62w4auBG0rdNDhWg8gZri3l9pFPpJqVeU0uzw7D13_Hg_aem_gRBdFMKYe_TdOi575l7S0ABook: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-pulse-cure-torkil-f-r/1144296935;jsessionid=CB70CE257A39BA7491BC3A0A90974344.prodny_store02-atgap10Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/3OKeIGbVVvj1jQdeYddTmD?si=3c13485647144086HOSTS:Richard BlakeInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/The_Breath_Geekhttps://richardlblake.com/https://linktr.ee/RichardLBlakeFacebook: @TheOptimisedUAndy EsamInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/andyesam/LISTEN AND WATCH OUR PODCASTLaughing Through The Pain: Navigating WellnessApple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/laughing-through-the-pain-navigating-wellness/id1726046369Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2TdW2qSWyVpXUyfKvNrBon?si=ef3963a93fd44323Buzzsprout: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2289623

Find us on InstagramRichard @The_Breath_GeekYouTube - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCl_gOq4wzRjwkwdjYycAengWebiste - www.TheBreathGeek.comPlease leave us a review, like and subscribe.

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Discover the groundbreaking world of Emotional Brain Training (EBT) with Dr. Laurel Mellon, a distinguished retired professor from UCSF and an experienced nutritionist who offers insightful critiques of traditional psychotherapy. Dr. Mellon reveals how the mental health and obesity epidemics may share common roots in stress-induced neurophysiology, a topic often overlooked by conventional therapeutic approaches. Learn how EBT empowers individuals to erase harmful circuits, addressing the core of psychological and physiological issues through a method that promises long-lasting change.Unpack the intricate ties between obesity and mental health as we explore the cycle driven by stress and emotional disconnection leading to food addiction. Hear a moving account of a mother's journey watching her daughter transform through EBT, a system designed to rewire the brain's stress response by accessing deep-seated emotional circuits. With an emphasis on reaching states of joy and compassion, EBT offers profound tools to navigate and transform negative emotions, providing relief from conditions like depression, anxiety, and eating disorders.EBT is emerging as a powerful alternative to traditional therapies, promising a shift from short-term fixes to addressing root causes. Through intimate group sessions, individuals learn to rewire specific brain circuits, fostering emotional connections and holistic well-being. As EBT becomes more accessible globally, thanks to new funding and resources, Dr. Mellon's new book, "One, Two, Three, Joy," provides a comprehensive guide to this promising approach. Tune in to explore how EBT is set to revolutionize emotional health and well-being on a global scale.FOLLOW OUR SOCIALS:Guest: Dr. Laurel MellinInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/drlaurelmellin/Website: https://www.ebtconnect.nethttps://www.brainbasedhealth.org/?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAabF7teYy4RT3OWGwCIyUIObAYgTx4vrDpqNOq5MQ5xzr2nEqkHe5DNxRPU_aem_OhLYMt41WOpYv5QRE5VVDwHOSTS:Richard BlakeInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/The_Breath_Geekhttps://richardlblake.com/https://linktr.ee/RichardLBlakeFacebook: @TheOptimisedUAndy EsamInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/andyesam/

PODCAST:Laughing Through The Pain: Navigating WellnessYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCl_gOq4wzRjwkwdjYycAengApple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/laughing-through-the-pain-navigating-wellness/id1726046369Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2TdW2qSWyVpXUyfKvNrBon?si=ff8aba9b92c24616Buzzsprout: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2289623

Find us on InstagramRichard @The_Breath_GeekYouTube - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCl_gOq4wzRjwkwdjYycAengWebiste - www.TheBreathGeek.comPlease leave us a review, like and subscribe.

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CrossFit Games champion Craig Howard joins us for a compelling exploration of obesity's many facets. Discover how the world of CrossFit extends beyond physical exercise, touching on issues like chronic illness and the significance of a balanced diet over processed foods. Craig's insights delve into the role of education, the historical shifts in food consumption, and the surprising impact of corporate interests on dietary guidelines, making this episode a must-listen for anyone passionate about health and fitness.We venture into the challenges faced by schools in providing effective nutrition education against a backdrop of diverse dietary preferences and parental pressures. Craig shares his experiences speaking to children and educators, emphasizing the need for personal responsibility and informed decision-making. We also gain a unique perspective on innovative nutrition coaching at Diablo CrossFit, where separating fitness from nutrition creates a supportive, judgment-free environment for members.As discussions widen, we explore the intersection of government policies, pharmaceutical influences, and public health, particularly regarding the weight-loss drug Ozempic. Craig offers a thought-provoking look at the future of CrossFit and the sustainability of fitness businesses in high-cost areas. From the evolution of the CrossFit affiliate model to the cult-like allure of fitness communities, this episode promises a comprehensive and thought-provoking journey through the evolving landscape of health and wellness.FOLLOW OUR SOCIALS:Guest: Craig HowardInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/craighoward_diablo/Linktree: https://linktr.ee/craighoward_diabloYouTube Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/@prsalldayWebsite: https://diablocrossfit.com/Diablo Crossfit Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/diablocrossfit/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/diablocrossfitLinkTree: https://linktr.ee/diablocrossfitHOSTS:Richard BlakeInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/The_Breath_Geekhttps://richardlblake.com/https://linktr.ee/RichardLBlakeFacebook: @TheOptimisedUAndy EsamInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/andyesam/

PODCAST:Laughing Through The Pain: Navigating WellnessYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCl_gOq4wzRjwkwdjYycAengApple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/laughing-through-the-pain-navigating-wellness/id1726046369Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2TdW2qSWyVpXUyfKvNrBon?si=ff8aba9b92c24616Buzzsprout: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2289623

Find us on InstagramRichard @The_Breath_GeekYouTube - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCl_gOq4wzRjwkwdjYycAengWebiste - www.TheBreathGeek.comPlease leave us a review, like and subscribe.

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Jenny Rayner joins us for an emotionally powerful discussion about the tragic loss of her daughter, Lucy, and the remarkable work she has done since to prevent similar tragedies. Jenny's heartfelt story begins with the pressures Lucy faced, including job loss and a breakup, which culminated in her suicide in 2012. This episode is a testament to Jenny's resilience and demonstrates the importance of recognizing mental health vulnerabilities in loved ones, a skill that even trained professionals find challenging.We explore the profound emotions tied to losing someone to suicide, highlighting the importance of self-kindness in navigating grief. Jenny shares her journey of accepting this loss and the significance of understanding grief as an ongoing journey of getting through rather than getting over. We also discuss the Lucy Rayner Foundation's support for mental health, especially for young people transitioning through significant life changes, addressing the inadequacies in mental health services and the vital importance of accessible care.Lastly, we tackle the broader societal influences affecting mental health, such as social media and persistent stigma, and the struggles faced by mental health foundations in providing consistent support. Through events like "Can Anyone Hear Me," we emphasize the need for open discussions on mental health and the importance of regular medication reviews. Jenny's story, combined with our focus on fostering resilience, aims to inspire a future where mental health awareness and support are prioritized, offering hope amid despair.FOLLOW OUR SOCIALS:Guest: Jenny RaynerWebsite: https://thelucyraynerfoundation.com/https://www.instagram.com/thelucyraynerfoundation/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheLucyRaynerFoundation/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jenny.rayner/HOSTS:Richard BlakeInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/The_Breath_Geekhttps://richardlblake.com/https://linktr.ee/RichardLBlakeFacebook: @TheOptimisedUAndy EsamInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/andyesam/

PODCAST:Laughing Through The Pain: Navigating WellnessYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCl_gOq4wzRjwkwdjYycAengApple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/laughing-through-the-pain-navigating-wellness/id1726046369Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2TdW2qSWyVpXUyfKvNrBon?si=ff8aba9b92c24616Buzzsprout: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2289623

Find us on InstagramRichard @The_Breath_GeekYouTube - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCl_gOq4wzRjwkwdjYycAengWebiste - www.TheBreathGeek.comPlease leave us a review, like and subscribe.

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Unlock the secrets to achieving lasting physical well-being as we sit down with Natalie from Spiro Health, an esteemed chiropractor specializing in Advanced Biostructural Correction (ABC). Forget what you've learned about posture being a conscious effort; Natalie enlightens us on how ABC offers a revolutionary approach that could transform your relationship with your spine. We tackle common myths surrounding posture and exercise, sharing practical tips that require no fancy equipment, promising relief from those persistent aches and pains.Embark on a journey to optimize your spinal health with our discussion on a three-month stabilization program designed to reshape your body with twice-weekly sessions. Natalie walks us through the spine's unique ability to self-correct—except when it comes to backward bends—and how this knowledge can be leveraged to prevent common injuries. The importance of consistency, the influence of footwear, and the role of everyday activities in spinal health underscore why the spine is the unsung hero of our overall biomechanics and well-being.Explore the nuances of safe exercise practices, with a spotlight on yoga's impact on the body and how to maintain neutrality in your movements to avoid injuries. Memory foam mattresses and shoes are put under the microscope as we question their true benefit to body alignment. From ideal sleeping postures to the choice of shoes, we leave no stone unturned in providing you with a comprehensive guide to better health. Plus, discover how frequent posture changes and awareness during daily routines can greatly enhance your comfort and health. Let Natalie’s expertise inspire your journey to a healthier spine and a more comfortable life.FOLLOW OUR SOCIALS:Guest: Natalie RobertsonWebsite: https://spirohealth.co.uk/Linktree: https://linktr.ee/spirohealthInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/spirohealth/HOSTS:Richard BlakeInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/The_Breath_Geekhttps://richardlblake.com/https://linktr.ee/RichardLBlakeFacebook: @TheOptimisedUAndy EsamInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/andyesam/

PODCAST:Laughing Through The Pain: Navigating WellnessYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCl_gOq4wzRjwkwdjYycAengApple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/laughing-through-the-pain-navigating-wellness/id1726046369Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2TdW2qSWyVpXUyfKvNrBon?si=ff8aba9b92c24616Buzzsprout: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2289623

Find us on InstagramRichard @The_Breath_GeekYouTube - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCl_gOq4wzRjwkwdjYycAengWebiste - www.TheBreathGeek.comPlease leave us a review, like and subscribe.

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