Why do we judge each other? Instead of facing the wounds we carry, we project them onto other people. Ironically, we fear criticism and yet we participate in it too. This fear of being misunderstood and betrayed is deeply ingrained in our psyches—especially in women who have been historically excluded and condemned. It doesn’t help that Western culture, religion, and education teaches us to consistently find fault because of the core belief that we are inadequate.

 

We judge others in an attempt to avoid greater intimacy in relationships. But we also judge others so we can feel like we’re part of an in-group. We judge ourselves so we can correct our imperfections and gain acceptance. At the core of it all, we judge because we want to feel safe and welcome. If we are truly honest, we find that inner work needs to be done to resolve our pain. The only way forward is to address our personal and ancestral traumas, not to create imaginary enemies outside ourselves.  

 

How do we become more compassionate? When we have a negative thought about someone, trace it back to yourself. Try to examine why that came up. Another way to become more mindful is by holding space in your community. The role of a facilitator pushes you to look at unsavory parts of yourself while the community heals alongside you. Lastly, just be graceful towards yourself. As you become kinder to your own body, you will naturally extend that same kindness to others.

 

What we discuss:

 

01:00 - The root of judgment

06:20 - Why are we afraid of judgment?

08:17 - Criticism as a defense mechanism

16:19 - Awareness and forgiveness of our ugly parts

23:17 - Global Sisterhood was born out of vulnerability

26:00 - How to embody grace and compassion

33:37 - We don’t need more enemies

 

Join the Circle Initiation Program:

www.globalsisterhood.org/circle-initiation