Lead Through Strengths

About This Episode So, you're ready to engage with a coach. Awesome! But there are SO many different coaches out there. How in the world do you choose? Lisa and Brea are here to help clear through the confusion and get you on the right path.

This episode is all about how to choose the coach that's right for you, right now. Listen in as Brea & Lisa discuss what to look for in a coach, the different types of coaches available, the importance of finding a good fit, and more. If you're considering working with a coach, this episode will give you some great insights and advice. Check it out!

Work With Us!

If you need a Strengths Hype girl, for yourself or your team, connect with BREA at brearoper.com. Whether you bring her in to deliver a keynote, training, or workshop… or, you're looking for an expert guide to support your internal Strengths efforts… Brea's ready to create a custom solution for any need, any budget.

To work with LISA, check out team workshops and retreats at the Lead Through Strengths site. For 1:1 strengths or life coaching, check out the Get Coached link. For independent coaches, trainers, and speakers, get business tools support with our Tools for Coaches membership.

Takeaways

Not all coaches are created equal: For as many different reasons you might hire a coach, there are different types of coaches out there. Just like an athlete might have several types of coaches for different needs, understanding the different types of professional coaches will help you pick the one for you.

1. Finding the right 'fit' is super important: Connecting with a coach is essential for your success. Look for a coach who aligns with your personality and communication style. Inquire about their coaching style and approach. If you're a coach, remember – assessing fit goes both ways. The most successful coaching relationships are ones where there's a mutual fit.
2. The role of a coach: A good coach will act as a mirror, reflecting back what they see and hear. This can help you observe your own brain and identify patterns you may not be able to see on your own. A strengths coach will do this with a unique focus on what's already strong in you.

Take Action

• Reflect on Your Needs: Begin with the end in mind. Think about where you are now, where you want to go, and what you need to get there. What do you want to achieve through coaching? Do you prefer a coach who provides direct advice or one who helps you observe your own thought patterns? What type of coach will best support your goals?
• Schedule a Discovery Call: Take the first step by scheduling a discovery call with a potential coach to assess fit and understand their coaching style.

Let's Connect!

LISA Website | LinkedIn | Facebook

BREA: Website | LinkedIn | Instagram

Remember, you already have everything you need to succeed! Sometimes, you just need a coach to help you see it. 🌟Reach out to a coach today!

AI-Generated Transcript

Lisa

Hi, I'm Lisa.

Brea

And I'm Brea

Lisa

And today's topic is how to pick a coach.

Brea

How do you pick a coach? Oh, man. What a great question.

Lisa

I know it makes it makes me go in a lot of angles. And the first one is so many people I run into don't even know what a coach is. Of course, they know what a basketball coach is. And when you get into our world of strengths coaching, they're often thinking strengths and conditioning coaching for sports. And then what about the rest?

And I want to hear your opinion, Brea. For me, I think there are a lot of kinds of coaches. Of course, people have heard of a life coach. Maybe people have heard of a CliftonStrengths coach because of our world. But then also, I think of other categories like a position coach would be in sports. So if you were on a basketball team, would you have a position coach for a forward?

Or would you have a strength and conditioning coach more for other elements of the game? So I think that is important. You could have a business coach, you can have an entrepreneurial coach, you could have a position coach who's actually been an expert in a role that you've been in, then you can have a mindset or growth coach kind of person who helps you observe your brain.

You could have an accountability coach. You could have a mentor coach who's been there, done that, and they're more advicey, whereas most coaches are going to be asking you the questions so that you can make the self-discovery.

But that's not all there is in coaching. So once your experience, when you think about things like, what even are the genres of coaches that are available out there to people in the world beyond sports.

Brea

Yeah. Oh my gosh. I'm imagining myself as the person looking for a coach and I'm already scared. My head is already spinning. There are so many options and I don't know where to start. And what even is coaching and what do I expect? And it's a lot of money and is it going to work?

I'm excited that we're having this conversation. I like the role coach. I see a lot of people that come in for that. They're in a new position at work. Maybe they just got a promotion or they're trying to get a promotion or they are in a managerial role, let's say, and so they want to be coached on how to be a better manager.

Or maybe it's a parent who comes to me and says, hey, I have been pretty good at parenting up until this point. And then I had this other kid and like, wow, they are very different than me. And I just like the way I've disciplined the other kids not working anymore. What do I do? So whatever the role is, I think I see a lot of people that that come for that. Yeah.

Lisa

Yeah, I think that's great. And the same thing that you just described with parents, it happens with managers all the time where they say, Hey, I had this team and we were amazing together. And then these two people came in or something happened to someone on the team and everything changed.

And I just can't get that feeling that I'm a good leader anymore. What's going on and taking that next level. And your growth. So I think what that brings me to is the idea that if you can pick a problem to work on, or a challenge to work on, even if that challenge is, Hey, I want to become a great leader. Or let's say you have something in your mindset - there's some narrative that comes on replay.

I had one recently where a guy was like, "I'll never make over $100,000." And he, he caught himself and said, "I don't know why that story replays in my head." Those are great things to get a coach for, because they can help you get in there and get that out of there. But they help you observe your brain like that. Or something really specific you want to do really well at, like you said, come into the new job and do really great and get results.

Anytime you have that challenge, obstacle or that next level you're trying to reach, aiming the coaching experience at something specific, I think, to your point about it being an investment, that's where you're going to tell the coach what you're wanting to get out of it so that you're aiming them at where they're taking the questions and the process.

And then also, you're more likely to know whether you got something out of it, because it's not just a nebulous conversation about nothing. It is really directed at something you want to achieve. How do you view that when it comes to picking a CliftonStrengths coach?

Brea

Yeah, I mean, you're right. So many people think of life coaching. It's such a vague place to be. What are we going to even talk about? How are they going to help me? And yeah, so bringing your own problem or just your aspiration.

I love working with people who have a specific challenge that they're trying to hit. How can we use your strengths to do this and do this successfully and with excellence and ease and enjoyment and all the things. I also really, really love working with people who are absolutely crushing it at work and at life or whatever.

And they're like, gosh, this is going really great. How can I get more? How can I get more of this awesomeness? And as strengths coaches, we can do that. And I think there are many different kinds of coaches out there who can do that. So yes, it might be a problem. It also might be that you want to continue to grow in whatever way.

Lisa

Yeah, I think that's big because those are also people who are more likely to want to hire a coach, the ones who are always trying to uplevel, always trying to grow, always trying to become a better person or more of who they can be. Or even just the dreamers who say, I have this big aspiration and no one around me gets it.

And either I get made fun of or no one understands. I just need someone to talk these kind of things through so that I can be my own compass instead of getting kind of slung around by the people around me and the reactions of people around me.

I think it's a nice way for people in that situation to upgrade their peer group, so to speak, by finding a CliftonStrengths coach and having someone around them who really believes in them, often more than the coachee believes in themselves.

Brea

I love that. Earlier you were talking about limiting beliefs. We all have them. We're all working to overcome them. But to have a coach who actually has your best interest at heart, they really want you to win. I think that's what the best coach brings is they want you to win - whatever that means for you.

That's all they want. They're not there with their own agenda. I've had some people come to me and they say, what can, what can I expect from coaching? You know, what's the outcome here? And my answer is always, well, what do you want? What do you want to get? Where do you want to go? That's for you to decide.

If you can ask yourself that question and get really clear and bring that to your coach and say, look, Here's where I am today. Here's where I want to go. Then it's the coach's job to help you get there. That's it. And a lot of times what ends up happening, at least in my experience, I don't know, Lisa, if this is how you coach as well, but sometimes what people come in with we discover is not actually the real thing.

There's usually something underneath the thing that is getting in the way or a limiting belief they may not even know they have. And so a good coach is, of course, going to be listening to what you ask for and also listening to what you're saying that you may not even know yourself and be able to reflect that back to you.

It's good to have that expectation up front and to be open to there being something more - that maybe neither of you are seeing at the beginning.

Lisa

I love that point and how what it makes me think of is how so often, they'll come in with one thing. And then they're in the middle of the third call in, and they say, "Oh my gosh, I'm so frustrated with my mother in law right now." And they're, they're talking about something that is totally off the path of where you've gone before, and they've come to you to help them get promoted in their leadership position.

So they think it's off the table and they come in and they're saying, "Oh, my mother-in-law." And then you say, Okay, and you help them step through what they can control, and how they're showing up in the situation. And they realize they can't change another person. And they would never expect that through your coaching conversation with them, where you can't coach the mother-in-law who's not there, and you can't control a third person's behavior.

So if you help them see how they can show up in a situation and potentially change everything, both about how they view that person, how they decide to show up, and then they realize, Whoa, a coaching relationship, this could be anything, my mind's exploding. It doesn't have to be the thing I hired you for. It doesn't have to be CliftonStrengths every time. I can change my mind three minutes before our call.

I can talk about anything in life and you can help me up level and observe my own brain and see my patterns that affect the way my thoughts and feelings and reactions cascade through all of that. I think that's such a cool element of coaching that a lot of people discover. But now I'm going down a rabbit hole of what happens after you pick a coach. Can we back up to where you were going?

Okay, you were getting down the idea of fit. And I would like to bring up the fact that most coaches will do discovery calls with you. So you can assess the fit with each person before you ever engage in the the money exchange - before you're ever actually engaged as a coach.

As a professional coach, Brea, they're calling you. What do you hope they'll ask you? What would you advise them to be thinking of and going through when they're assessing fit with someone?

Brea

Well, gosh, this feels a little bit like one of my favorite movies of all time, The Wizard of Oz. I feel like the wizard, the man behind the curtain. I'm going to lift the curtain a little bit to what it's like on the coach's side. I'm actually assessing fit with the person on the other end of the call as well. So, I think the fit goes both ways, and personality is a huge part of that. Just like when you meet someone on the street, you're going to know how you feel with that person.

Can you communicate easily and freely? Are the questions that you're asking being heard? Are you being listened to? Sometimes there are really great coaches out there that just have a different personality, different communication style, or for whatever reason, it's just not a good fit.

And communication is key in life, but especially when it comes to coaching. So find someone that you feel safe with, someone that you feel like, I can talk about anything, right? You feel free and safe and heard. For me, that's, that's what I look for in a coach. And that's what I hope to provide to the people that I coach.

Lisa

Yeah, I mean it really does say it all. I think of it pretty simply too, just do you like them? Yeah. Do you respect them? If you totally don't respect them and they're saying things or even asking you questions, And it's in a way that you can't receive them, even if they're good questions for someone else, but they're not for you, then maybe you're not for each other right now.

So that "style fit" to me, it's absolutely so important. I think that fit is important in all the ways. Even my replacement for the concept of selling is just like assessing fit. It's same goes for workshops, the same goes for coaching for any of those. Relationships, are we good for each other? And you want both parties to get something out of it.

You want the person making the investment, the coachee, to say, Oh, my gosh, these hours change my life hour by hour, this is more than worth it. And you want the coach to feel enriched and growing and invested. And you want that to be mutual, a mutual benefit. And I love exactly what you said. And I also think that once you choose, it doesn't mean you chose. We said in the title, how to pick a coach.

And I really specifically didn't say how to pick THE CliftonStrengths coach, because you might have a lot of coaches over time. You might go for a group coaching versus a one-on-one at some point. I'm a variety gal. I've had lots of coaches. I love having lots of different coaches. I don't think I've ever had more than five sessions with the same person. And it's not because a single person isn't adding value, but I guess in a group program I have.

But outside of that, as in a one-on-one, I like the variety of how other people can observe my brain and bring different things to me. And then I start to see trends like, oh, this person's reflecting it back to me. So did two coaches ago. So did one coach ago. And they've said it in really different ways. And it helps me personally grasp it more deeply.

And I think if I had the same person, I might not have understood it in a way that I could actually make the change. So I happen to be a variety gal, and I'm not in it looking for a marriage. So how do you handle that, Brea? Long-term, group, one-on-one, how do you look at all of that?

Brea

Yeah, I think same. I mean, I've had so many coaches over the years, and even at the same time, it's kind of like the friends that are in my life. I go to certain people for certain things. If I need someone to tell me exactly what's up, I want them to hurt my feelings. I don't want a yes man. I know who to go to for that.

If I need someone to help me think creatively, then I might go to someone else. And I have coaches that fit those different boxes. So again, begin with the end in mind, right? Know what it is that you're looking for, know what it is that you need to grow, and that will help you choose which coach you want.

But also, maybe you're high in CliftonStrengths Relator and you need to build that relationship over time. Maybe you want someone who you can build a coaching relationship with. Then there are coaches who also love to do that, and they want to stick with you for the journey.

There are other coaches like Lisa and myself who are like, Hey, show up for one time, and we'll just go with what we've got and see you later. Bye. You know? So again, knowing what you want to get out of it, I think is super important.

Lisa

Yeah, and what you just brought up, that's another fit element. I do that often. I have this get coached link on my site. I don't require a discovery call. I don't require a bunch of backstory. I don't require an ongoing relationship. I'll just do a one off and a whole lot of coaches don't or won't because there's a whole relationship thing that can go along with it that really enriches it.

That that's a unique thing that you just drop in and get a coaching session. And a lot of CliftonStrengths and life coaches wouldn't like that. And a lot of coaches wouldn't get out of it with what they're hoping for. So that's another one, just the offering.

You know how I was talking about genre of coach - position coach, mindset coach, accountability coach, mentor coach…and then you layered in this thing about how you want that person to help you think. You know, do you need someone to take you in a creative angle? Do you need someone to be straight with you and call you on your BS?

I love that angle as well. There are all these filters and questions you can ask yourself. And sometimes even what you might prefer isn't what you need. And I thought that was interesting, as you were talking. Yeah, so okay, sometimes what I prefer isn't what I need. So what I prefer isn't someone who is slow and present, but is what I need, and is how I grow.

When I'm in the vetting process as a coachee, I try to make myself aware of that - where the person I need isn't necessarily the person I love being around the most. I love when coaches are super direct with me. I enjoy a quick answer, a quick-witted person. I appreciate advice. And then also, that may not be what I need.

A lot of times I need a coach who sits there with a lot of silence and asks you a question. And if you sit for 15 seconds, not answering. They will just sit there with you. Let your mind work. And let me get present with my challenge. Let me get into it instead of the surface level responses that we want to give. I mean, it's probably a coach joke at this point that people say, well, I don't know. And then coaches will say, if you did know.

Brea

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That was, oh man, the worst fit for me is to go to a coach and be like, I'm stuck here. I don't know where to go. And they're like, well, what do you think you should do? And I'm like, I don't know. That's why I'm here.

Lisa

And those are sometimes things like, could you figure that out before going in? Well, now that you heard Brea and I say that example, maybe, maybe, you know, and that'll be part of your question and your discovery. But those are all different styles.

Sometimes it just unfolds after you've had a call or a few with a person where you understand their questioning techniques and how they help you observe your brain.

So just know those things about yourself:

· What do you like?

· What's your approach?

· What do you value?

· What do you jive with?

· Are you willing to make an investment in one or three sessions to see what you think?

How do you approach all of that?

Brea

I think this is a really good, really good point is how unregulated, is that the right word? This industry is. And the word coach means something different to every coach who calls themselves a coach, okay? So it's important to get good, clear communication before you enter into that coaching relationship just to better understand what it is that we're talking about.

Because, yeah, maybe someone calls themselves a coach, but they approach it more as a mentor, where they're saying, I've done this before, you know, I'm a little bit further down the road, let me help you and mentor you in your journey. Or they're a consultant or an advice giver, right? And they want to come with suggestions of what to do, and they're going to tell instead of ask, you know? And all those things are fine, right?

Maybe someone wants to teach, you know, there's so much teaching that is possible, especially when it comes to strengths, you know, that understanding our strengths and bringing awareness, maybe that's the coach's specialty. So just know that the word coach doesn't always mean the same thing. And it's good to get clear on what you want and also what the coach brings to see if there's there's that fit.

Lisa

Yes, I love that. As you were describing that, it was making me think of, now I'm not a golfer, so hopefully I won't get any of this wrong, but I imagine how growing up in sports, we always watched film. So you watch the videos back of yourself playing. And it's a way for you to observe yourself the way the coaches did.

I mean, coaches would come to you and they would see trends in your biomechanics or in something about you and they could come back and raise the issue, whether it's causing an issue in your performance now, or maybe it's going to create an issue in your body later if you keep operating your body with that motion. So I think about something like a mechanics review that would happen in golfing.

And this idea of watching back video of your swing is kind of like what happens with a coach in our world because a coach is being the video. They're hearing things replayed back. They're hearing patterns in your language as the coachee.

They're hearing narratives that you can't see because you're so close to them. And then they can replay the video back for you, metaphorically, because they're just reflecting it back to you with a different light and a different lens.

They're helping you see your brain in action. And I think people can really relate to that. So if you're a listener and you've never had a CliftonStrengths coach or a coach of any kind, I think that's a good way to view it.

That is a role that a coach plays that you really can't play on your own. I mean, you can be very self-aware. And we do some self-coaching, of course, as humans who are trying to grow. But you get a third party in there who can observe your brain and believe in you and your potential.

You put those two things together, and you bring the questions that come forward and the conversations that come forward in those coaching calls. And that's where your life can really start to shift in big ways and much faster than you could ever do on your own. How does that resonate with you, Brea?

Brea

Totally. I actually have a client and a friend who, a client who's become a friend, who always says, if you want to get there fast, go alone. If you want to get further, go with someone. I think a coach can help you get further faster.

Lisa

Now, Brea, if they want to go further faster with a CliftonStrengths coach and they want to work with you after hearing all this today, tell them how to work with you.

Brea

Well, go to my website and schedule a call. I'd love to hear more about what it is that you're looking for and, and see if we're a good fit.

Lisa

And this is Lisa. If you are interested in working with me, if you go to leadthroughstrengths.com, on the main navigation, you'll see a link called Get Coached.

And you can just book a single session straight away from there. And also, if you're interested in just looking at different coaches and what their styles might be at leadthroughstrengths.com slash about, you'll see some of the coaches that are on our team directly, and also some referral coaches who we really believe in, who are listed, so you can get a sense for different coaches, what their specialties are, and who might be a great fit, just by reading some things about their descriptions.

So with that, We love that you're here and you're exploring coaching in your life and this idea that if you're suffering, it doesn't have to be a habit. Coaching can help you through that. But also, if you're just doing well and crushing it, hard work doesn't have to be so hard. And those are other things coaches can help you with. What would your closing thought be with finding a coach, Brea?

Brea

You have everything that you need to succeed. It's already inside of you. reach out to a coach to help you see more clearly what it is, the awesomeness that's already inside of you that you're working with, and just reflect back to you what is good and also maybe what you may not be hearing, but you already have everything that you need.

Lisa

Yes. And I'm just going to hype Brea because Brea is your strengths hype girl. I mean, if you need somebody to be like, I see it all and I'm going to get it out, go talk to Brea

Brea

Thank you so much.

Lisa

All right. We'll see you next round.

Brea

Bye.

Let's Connect!

LISA Website | LinkedIn | Facebook

BREA: Website | LinkedIn | Instagram

To work with Brea, connect at brearoper.com. She helps with talent development for teams and also does 1:1 CliftonStrengths coaching for individuals.

To work with Lisa, check out team workshops and retreats at the Lead Through Strengths site. For 1:1 strengths or life coaching, check out the Get Coached link. For independent coaches, trainers, and speakers, get business tools support with our Tools for Coaches membership.

About This Episode

If you're curious about coaching or looking to make a positive change in your life, this episode is for you! Gallup says that over 80% of people who discover their CliftonStrengths do NOTHING after taking the assessment. What a shame. We know awareness of our strengths is necessary for growth, but awareness alone doesn't create change. You must put the knowledge into practice. Coaching has (and continues to have) a powerful impact on our lives. That's why, in this episode, we discuss the 'next step' of working with a coach. Listen in as we share some of our personal experiences working with a coach, practical tips on how to engage with a coach, and even how to improve your own self-coaching.

So, if you're feeling stuck or curious about exploring your strengths further, don't hesitate to engage with a coach or seek feedback from those around you. Remember, awareness from assessments is just the beginning. Coaching will help you apply your strengths for more ease, energy, and excellence every day.

Takeaways

1. External Feedback is Powerful: Having a coach can provide you with an external perspective on your strengths and potential blind spots. This perspective is unattainable on our own. Just like how we can't see our own face without a mirror, sometimes we need someone else to reflect back to us what we may not see in ourselves. A coach can help you uncover hidden talents and opportunities for growth you may have overlooked.
2. Self-Reflection and Awareness: Self-reflection and self-awareness is fundamental in the coaching process. Taking the time to pause, reflect, and ask yourself meaningful questions can lead to profound discoveries about your true potential and aspirations.
3. Invest in Yourself: Of course, awareness by itself isn't enough. Whether you reach out to a professional coach or engage in self-coaching practices, making this investment is a valuable and powerful step towards transformation and growth.

Take Action

● Engage with a Coach: Take the initiative to reach out to a coach, like Lisa or Brea.

● Share Your Strengths: Dust off your CliftonStrengths report. Reread it to remind yourself of the goodness inside of you. Share your report with someone close to you and ask them to reflect on how they see your strengths showing up in your life. This external mirror can offer valuable insights and perspectives that may help you better understand your unique talents and behaviors.

● Create White Space for Reflection: Make a conscious effort to create white space in your daily routine for self-reflection and self-coaching. Avoid overfilling every moment with distractions and allow yourself the time and space to ponder on questions about your goals, aspirations, and areas for growth. By giving your mind the opportunity to wander and explore, you can tap into deeper insights and clarity about your path forward.

Let's Connect

● LISA: Website | LinkedIn | Facebook

● BREA: Website | LinkedIn | Instagram

Listen to the full episode for inspiring stories and insights from the impact of coaching in our lives. If you're ready to explore the world of coaching and self-discovery, don't hesitate to reach out to us for guidance and support. Remember, investing in yourself is one of the best investments you can make! 🌟

AI-Generated Transcript

Hi, I'm Lisa.

And I'm Brea.

And today's topic is getting coached.

And more specifically, we're going to start with our first times getting coached and getting experienced with coaching and what this world even is. Brea, tell us about your opinion on this. The first time getting coached, first time doing a, an assessment like CliftonStrengths.

Where do we go wrong? Where do we go? Let's dive into this one. Let's dive in. Oh man, my mind is spinning because for 15 years thought that "doing strengths" was taking the assessment. I've got my top five and I know my strengths. I took the assessment for the first time in 2001, 15 years later is when I talked to somebody about it for the first time.

When I brought in a coach and that's where the transformation happened for me. So, yeah, I love this. Same. I waited a long time. I didn't know what a coach was. I was no idea. I knew what it was for sports. I knew every athlete needed a coach. I definitely saw the power of coaching.

Someone observing your performance and talking to you about things you couldn't see for yourself. I had no idea in terms of our mindsets or business. There are so many types of coaches you could have. I didn't know it was a thing. In fact, the only perception I had of it was around performance issues in corporate.

A lot of times people will talk about performance coaching when someone's on a performance improvement plan and they have issues. I actually had a little bit of a negative connotation when someone offered me coach in my first manager job. I was like, Oh, that's. Does that mean I'm getting noted for doing something wrong?

And then luckily that's not what it was for. And also that coach really changed the way I was able to see myself. I absolutely agree with you. And I think that idea of having another human who can help you observe your brain in a way that you can't, can absolutely transform the way you operate in the world.

And so many people don't know. That this thing even exists. They don't even know what a coach is. Oh my gosh. This is exactly what happened. I remember it so clearly in 2015, I had just moved from Kansas City to Dallas for a new job. And the president of this marketing company was bringing me in to essentially exit the company.

He was looking to retire. A couple months into the job I bump into him in the hallway. He's usually out of town because I'm there now to run the day to day, but we bump into each other and I was just like, Hey, how am I doing? And he was like, Oh my gosh, it's so great. I feel so good. Being able to travel and knowing that Brea's got it taken care of down in Dallas.

And I was like, oh, that's so great to hear. Thank you so much. He said, yeah, we should probably even talk about giving you equity in the company. And I was like, okay, I guess I'm doing pretty good, right? A couple days later, we have our scheduled weekly meeting where we just sit down and touch base and it's just He walked into the room and he fired me on the spot.

No explanation. No, obviously no warning. It was very different than two days before, offering me equity in the company. I went home and I was just in tears and I was on the floor because I didn't even have furniture yet. It was still on order. It hadn't even arrived. So I'm in this puddle of tears on my apartment floor.

And I just, I'm like, Oh my gosh, like what? What is happening? It has to be my fault, right? So that's what comes into my mind is what is wrong with me? And I had taken strengths before of course I didn't know where my assessment results were because you know Just like everybody else I put it in a drawer or trash can or whatever But it came into my head and so I get on the computer and I googled is strengths coaching a thing Wow honest Honestly, Lisa, just like you, I had no concept of professional coaching.

I really have no idea where that question came from, but I Googled it and I found it. Hand to God, this LinkedIn article came up, the top 10 strengths coaches in America, which I've Googled is strengths coaching a thing several times since this experience. And every time it's strengths, like weightlifting, right?

Yeah. So even the fact that I got what I was looking for, I think it's just a miracle. So of course I read the article, listen to this, Lisa. The number one strengths coach in America lived 15 minutes away from me. Oh, I went to her LinkedIn profile. This is how I know this. We had mutual friends on LinkedIn.

She went to my church and. Her LinkedIn profile said that she was looking for pro bono coaching opportunities. And I was like I just lost my job. Pick me, this couldn't be a better timing. Yes. I have no idea what coaching is. I have no idea what I'm asking for, but my connectedness is like, ding ding ding.

Like obviously I'm supposed to be a strengths coach, but I've, I have no idea that there was anything beyond the assessment. So that was a very long-winded response to, yeah, I get that coaching. What's coaching? Whoa. Now I want to hear what you thought of. So you obviously had to have engaged this person as your coach, right?

I did. Yes. Then what did you then think coaching was? I didn't even know that I was asking for coaching or receiving coaching. Like I, I didn't even have that awareness, but I just knew that this feeling that I had retaking the assessment and seeing, rereading my strengths on the paper, it took me right back to my first experience in 2001 of I'm good.

I just knew that I was supposed to be a strengths coach, but I had no idea what that was. So I thought I was asking her for an informational interview. How do you get clients? How do you make money? Do you make money? She invited me over to her home.

She sat me down on the couch, poured me a glass of wine and five minutes into our conversation. She was like, Brea, have you ever been coached? Because it's apparent that I have no clue what the heck is going on. So she said why don't we start there? So I didn't even know that I. needed a coach or that, talking to someone isn't the same thing as an intentional coaching conversation.

Because when she said, let's start there, we literally picked up our wine and we moved from the comfy couches back to the back of the house where her dining room table was. She pulled out her computer, she opened it up and we had a very different conversation. The energy shifted. Like I could tell, like we're doing something right now.

She knew how they were getting in the way. And how they were controlling me instead of me being able to lead from my strengths. They were leading me, but not in a good way. And she recognized what I could contribute and what I wanted to do. She recognized that I love to start things and I love to come in early and get people moving and get people excited.

What I remember most from that experience was one question. that she asked me. Tell us, what's the question? Yeah. So she said, what if that's your job to come in and start things? And I was like, what? You can do that? But that's the fun part. That's the easy part.

My job is always to take it across the finish line - to do the hard work, to move it forward. That's what it had been in the past. That's what it had been. Yes. Who has a job where they don't actually have to do the whole job? We do. It was just, it was amazing because. How this translates to everyone listening is what if fill in the blank with the thing that you love to do the most, right?

Fill in the thing that you would do for free, all day, every day, fill in the blank with the thing that just energizes you, that you find so much excellence in and enjoyment in. What if that was your job? Yeah. And that sets up coaching so perfectly because that problem we set up about how you can't observe your own brain.

You can't see those connections she was making. And then in the solution of all of this, she's helping you remember. What you already know, if you just listen to your innate wisdom, if you just get closer to who you are, if you remember your awesomeness, this is, in my opinion, what coaches do that is so powerful.

They help you observe what you can't see, and then they help you remember for yourself where you're headed, where you want to go, how you can align. You have so much power and potential in you that we just forget about. And they help you see it, but they help you come to it on your own. If they're incredible, like those questions, there was something that just clicked, and you're right.

Coaches can help us see things that we don't see in ourselves. But most of the time, the reason we don't see them is because they are just so close to us that it's just so natural for you, to act in this way or to think this way that. We can't see it. We will never see our own face…ever. The thing that is closest to us, the very part of our body that sees, we will never see it.

We will only ever see a reflection of it in a mirror or an image of it, in a photo. Or we can. Maybe have someone else reflect to us what they see on our face, like a booger or, a piece of spinach in your teeth. But we depend on something external to reflect, to give us feedback because it's so close to us that we will never see it.

And I think that is True. Also with our behaviors and like you said, our brain and all those things. Yeah. And then a coach, because they have another brain, they reflect something to you that you already know if you had paused or if you really stopped to observe yourself, maybe you could pick up some of these things, but you get it from a different perspective.

They asked the question in a way you wouldn't have asked it of yourself. They process it in a way they wouldn't have processed it. I remember when I had my first coaching experience, it was for this manager program. They assigned one to all of us. And I remember her saying, "Lisa, you can get your messages with a feather or a hammer…"

"…And it seeming to me like you're choosing the hammer repeatedly." And that's really stuck with me because it was about the same timeline, probably as yours. It's been a long time, but I remember those words because they struck me like a hammer. But they struck me because it's true. I was having this tendency to discard anything that felt like intuition, anything that felt like a gut feeling I would be like, Nope, that needs to be validated by logic.

So I'd go through my logic process and make sure it felt good. Or I would work harder and harder and harder because I think there's some, something about the value of hard work because it felt hard. I thought that was more valuable. I would keep like brute forcing my way through things.

She was talking about these feathers where she's the signs are there. The message is there if you'll tune in and listen to it. But when you start to get those messages, you shut them off and decidedly say, no, I'm gonna run it through this other process over here to make sure it's right.

It's still something that I'm working on, letting in, and now I get my messages with something in between. I'm not now waiting for the hammer to take me down, but she's if you'll listen to the lighter voices, if you'll listen to the feathers, they'll guide you in the right way.

Now those aren't words I would ever use. At the time that just felt so woo to me, the way she presented it, but she could ask these questions of me. About a time when I did listen, about a time when I did live a life aligned. With the way I imagined it. I remember her taking me through visualizations of a perfect morning and things like that, where I was like, wow, no one's ever asked me questions like this, and they felt so out of sorts for me, but also intriguing, but also not real life.

It was just like, she's taking me through imaginary land, but I'm totally going to go there and imagine it. Yeah. At the same time. A handful of years before I used visualizations for sports all the time. And just because it was in another environment, I thought that's what you do, coaches do that sort of thing, or that's what I do to prepare myself to visualize how I want this game to go, but why not the game of life?

I didn't. No, that was a thing. And I had to have a person take me through the experience before I ever knew what it would be like to coach someone else. You have to get coached and you have to experience someone else observing your brain and asking you the questions so you can remember your own awesomeness.

Isn't that so true? And it's so funny how with things like sports, things like art, music. We don't call them coaches, but you get a music teacher. Maybe there are so many places in our lives where coaching or having that external feedback is applauded, sought after it's necessary even for growth, and when it comes to talent.

It really breaks my heart to know so many people who over the years have told me, gosh, Brea you're so lucky that you have such great musical talent. I'm not talented. I'm just Joe Schmoe over here. For us to limit talent to athleticism or music or art.

It's just so sad to me because everyone has talent and everyone will improve. There's exponential growth opportunity when we lean into that, when we invest in it. And coaching is one of the best ways to do that, to get that outside perspective. I just, I love it. It's there for everyone.

Yeah. Accessible for everyone. I like how you proved that out with the pro bono experience that you had. So let's say if we ended with a favorite thing that could be a resource, a technique. Let's say someone's in the position you were in when you got fired, you're in the puddle on the floor, and you're like, thanks, I'm listening to this episode and I need a coach.

And how am I going to get a coach? Or What am I gonna do with this info when I don't have the money to invest with one? What is something that would be. place. What's one of your favorite things?

Yeah. My favorite thing is engaging with a coach and you never know until you ask. Reach out. There are coaches, there are so many different places and opportunities for you to connect with coaches.

Don't be afraid to ask. But I think even before that, just talk to somebody about. If you can pull that out and just have a conversation with anyone, share it with your partner, share it with someone who knows you well and just say, Hey, do you see these things in me? Especially if there are things in your report that don't really resonate with you, either you read the words on the report and you're like, Ooh, that's not a strength.

Or maybe there's something on there where you're like, I just, I don't know that's me. I don't really see that in myself. Give it to someone who knows you well and who sees you regularly, show up in your life and ask them, let them be that mirror back to you and say, yeah.

I see this in you all the time. And let me tell you exactly when, I saw it last, allow them to be that mirror, even if they're not a trained coach, that feedback is still so powerful. That's a great one. It doesn't cost you any extra money. You already have the report and…bonus…they get to read all these nice things about you and then tell you about times when they show up. That's perfect!

Bonus. Love a bonus. Love a bonus. I'm going to play off of your mirror theme because you were talking about how that self-awareness the most you're going to see is your own reflection. And something I see, especially with our corporate clients, but just anyone who lives that very busy life where you're always trying to cram in more and more.

It's such a thing. To fill every crack, every moment that you can with something else. So if you're that person who does maybe right now you're listening to a podcast while you're out for a walk, while you're doing the dishes, while you're doing other things, I would actually say one technique that's worked very well for me for self-coaching is to require myself.

To not fill those cracks with extra things, because if your mind never has the white space to consider, and you're just thinking on some of these things you want to think on, like when you asked yourself, is coaching a thing? And then you decided I want to change my career. What would it look like to change my career?

Now, if you had just filled your ears, As many people do, fill your ears with learning. I'm going to take a class while I'm on a walk. I'm going to get all the information I can. The information isn't as rich as if you would just sit with that thought and allow yourself to actually consider it on the walk while you're in nature.

Asking. What would life be like? What could it be if I made it up? You are asking questions of the coach. Do people make money at this? What would the revenue streams look like? What would be fun for me? How could I add value to other people's lives? And just all those kinds of the way that your mind will wander with questions and thoughts and dreams - when you give it space.

So my technique is to get yourself a stop doing list. Stop over filling every crack and crevice of every minute so that you can have that thoughtful, reflective time to do some of this self-coaching, self-reflection, and, self-understanding stuff that doesn't happen when you fill it up with constant learning or constant business, busyness.

I love that. I love that so much. Okay. Now, if a listener is okay, this coaching thing, I'm going to finally try it. I want to work with you, Brea, tell them, how do they work with you? Yeah, go to my website, BreaRoper. com, B R E A R O P E R. com, and schedule a quick little call. There's no pressure.

It's no cost. If I'm a good fit, great. And if not, I know a lot of other great coaches that I can refer you to. Beautiful. And if you want to work with me, I'm Lisa, and I'm out at lead through strengths. com. And in the main menu, there's a link called get coached. And I actually work different from decent amount of other coaches in that I'll do just one off sessions.

If you are not ready to invest in a big package, you can just drop by, drop in, grab one coaching session whenever you Need one. That's such a gift. Yeah. There is so much power in coaching over time, but not everyone can do that, and not everyone needs that in every situation. So if you're in a situation where you just need to talk to somebody to get unstuck, right now, what a great offering.

Yeah. Thank you. What would your action item be for someone as we leave them today? Yeah. Engage with a coach, however, that makes sense for you, whether it's, reaching out to Lisa, reaching out to me, do something for yourself, invest just a little bit more beyond the assessment because the assessment, it's just the beginning, right?

The awareness does you no good if you don't act on it. And. And I promise you that there is more in the assessment results than what you can see yourself. A trained and experienced knowledgeable coach will be able to deepen that awareness and help you take the next step on your journey.

So reach out to a coach. Yeah. Yeah. Reach out to a coach. The theme of the episode is getting coached. So go get coached at a minimum, do yourself. And. Then do what Bree was talking about, where you grab the assessment results and you show it to somebody else. What a great way to get coached, or at least get some vibes of coaching out of something that you might just have sitting around in a file folder somewhere, and you've forgotten about it.

And even if you read it in detail a year ago or three years ago. You're going to pull something out of it. That sounds totally different in the context of what's in your life today. So yeah, with that, go get a coach.

All right. See you all next week. Bye for now.

Let's Connect

● LISA: Website | LinkedIn | Facebook

● BREA: Website | LinkedIn | Instagram

To work with Lisa, head over to Lead Through Strengths

To work with Brea, check out BreaRoper.com

ABOUT THIS EPISODE In this episode, Lisa & Brea discuss how they were introduced to the wonderful world of Strengths, and how it impacted their personal and professional lives.

Lisa discusses how reading "First Break All the Rules" as a manager changed her perspective on her team members and led her to appreciate their unique strengths. Brea remembers how taking the assessment as a freshman in college provided her with language to articulate and appreciate her unique qualities that were often misunderstood or undervalued.

The co-hosts emphasize the importance of understanding and valuing the strengths of others, even if they differ from our own. They encourage listeners to explore all 34 talent themes and appreciate the value each one brings. ​​The episode concludes with the concept of strengths as "easy buttons" that can make work and life more enjoyable and productive when leveraged effectively.

LET'S CONNECT!

• LISA: Website | LinkedIn | Facebook

• BREA: Website | LinkedIn | Instagram

TAKEAWAYS:

1. Finding Value in our Differences - There is immense value that comes from embracing the unique strengths of individuals, even when they may initially seem challenging or different from our own. By recognizing and appreciating the diverse perspectives and talents within our colleagues, teams, families, and friends we can unlock new levels of creativity, collaboration, and success.

1. Self-Discovery and Validation - Taking the CliftonStrengths assessment can provide us with a sense of self-discovery and validation. It provides language to help us identify and celebrate our innate talents, even those aspects of ourselves that may have been misunderstood or undervalued in the past. Transformation can happen when we use this awareness to seek out people, opportunities and environments that need what we have to offer, and value our contributions.

1. Easy Buttons for Life - Strengths are "easy buttons" for life. By leading through our strengths, we can navigate challenges with greater ease, energy, enjoyment, and excellence. Instead of making things unnecessarily hard, we can leverage our unique talents as tools to guide us through both professional and personal situations.

TAKE ACTION

• Share your story! Tell us about your first strengths experience as a podcast review on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts!
• Read "First, Break All the Rules" by Marcus Buckingham
• Unlock your "Full 34" CliftonStrengths profile

QUOTES

"It's so difficult to change what you perceive as wrong with somebody, and so easy to leverage what is right." - Lisa

"The assessment helped me value myself, and find people and opportunities and places that valued what I had to contribute." - Brea

"You get what you focus on. If you focus on all the things people are not, or all the things you wish they could be, you're obsessing in the wrong area." - Lisa

"Hard work doesn't have to feel hard. When we lead through our strengths, we get to use our easy buttons for more energy, happiness, and greater results." - Brea

AI-GENERATED TRANSCRIPT

Hey, I am Lisa.

And I'm Brea.

And today's topic is...your very first strengths experience.

Ooh, I love it. This is a great one, Lisa. Let's talk about ours. I think we could introduce our first experience with strengths and people could really relate to why it makes sense to bring strengths into an organization, to a team, or for their own self development.

What? Two ladies that lead with communication telling stories? Come on. Who'da thunk it? For me, it was the year 2000. I was a manager for the first time and I read First Break All the Rules. It felt a little bit rebel. I found that book. I could, I was so overtaken by it. It was like, struck with the awesomeness.

It resonated with everything I felt on the inside, but had never heard or read about in a business book and I brought it into my team. So I had all my direct reports do it and I did it. And it was so insightful for me because I had a couple of people on the team that. As you take your team on, whether you're a new manager or not, you often inherit a team.

And so they're not necessarily built the way that you would have hired it. And they're not necessarily who you would have selected. In my case, that was good for me because what I realized after doing the assessment with the team was a couple of people who I thought were really high maintenance. I realized.

Oh, they're really valuable and I have not been able to see their value because they don't act like me, they don't think like me, they don't get the job done like me. And I had been wishing for that. And what I perceived as slow or resistant to change. Or dragging their feet every time we would try to implement something after doing the strengths at the time it was called StrengthsFinder.

Yeah. And after doing that with everyone, I realized the value that came from their perspective and I, it just opened my eyes so much to how I had really wanted everyone to just be a clone of me, even though I didn't consciously know that. And those who I thought were high maintenance suddenly could be the other part of my brain that I didn't have.

And I needed that kind of value on the team and it, and I didn't have a facilitator. I didn't have budget for a workshop. I just led my own. Cut Q and a with the team and we spent a half a day talking about our results and how they affect our work and how we could use those to benefit each other and our customers.

And it was absolutely career changing. So that was my first experience. It's what got me hooked. I used it with every team after that. And then eventually in 2015, started doing this full time, but it definitely changed everything about the way I thought. It changed all the rules. Is that what you're saying?

Pretty much. Let us rewrite them and rethink them and realize it's not what you think. I love that your story makes me think I wonder how many managers, leaders are out there just like you were, and they're hiring for value or strengths or talent, or however you want to say it, they're hiring for it.

Outside of their company, right? They're spending time and money and resources when. It might just be a perception issue. Maybe the value is already there in the people on their team and they're missing it. What an amazing gift that was for you to be able to not just change your perception, the way you feel about the people on your team, but also to be able to maximize what they're able to contribute.

That's incredible. It's such a good placeholder for what happens in work. It's what happens in people's relationships. When you're coaching people one on one, you hear about their intimate relationships where they're focused on what the person is not.

Yeah. Instead of who they are and what they appreciate about them. You get what you focus on. If you focus on all the things they're not, all the things that you wish they could be, you're obsessing in the wrong area. And if you could spend some time in appreciation, understanding what they do bring, where they are coming from.

Even then I thought I assumed positive intent. I thought I had a good perspective on all of this. None of this was, a conscious effort to say, I want you to just be exactly like me, but it was still happening. And I think because we have that, Negative cognitive bias as humans. We're always looking for the outlier thing or the risk element.

So you look at the thing you need to fix and it keeps you stuck in what is wrong instead of exposing what is right. And leveraging it because it's so easy to leverage what is right. And it's so difficult to change what you perceive as wrong with somebody.

What you just described - it's absolutely - it's such a stand in for the perspective we have, some of these natural tendencies we have, and how powerful it is if you actually just consciously redirect your brain into what already works.

About them, what already is amazing about them and how you can use that for benefit, for themselves and for you and for the team, for the world. It's so true. It is so true. And also it's so hard because we don't know what we don't know. And we can only. We can only see the perspective that we see until we have different language.

And this actually connects really well with my story. I was on the other side certainly as an employee where I felt misunderstood. I felt undervalued. I felt like my manager, didn't understand me and I felt like I had more to contribute and no one that wanted what I had to give, no one valued me. But it actually started even before that just.

As a teenager growing up in my house with parents who are fantastic and also very different than me. When I would talk back to my mom as a teenage girl, she heard it as talking back, as pushing back, as fighting. I just wanted to be heard.

My high communication knew that what I was trying to share with her wasn't being understood. And so I would try to clarify and try to clarify and try to clarify. So her perspective and my perspective, there's a mismatch there. Yeah. I can just imagine as a communication, so you're so high in communication and you might be asking questions to clarify and understand and think it through.

And she's taking that as, Hey, sassy pants, why don't you get back in your place as my child. I was grounded pretty much my entire life because of that, and if I had known if I had the emotional awareness or the language of this is a talent, it's called communication or it's called command or it's called, whatever.

I could have approached that differently, but I didn't, and if she had the language, she could have approached it differently, but she didn't. And so I think whether it's in a personal situation or in, an employee professional situation, do we value ourselves?

That's what I, I think. What I got when I first took the assessment, I was a freshman in college. My, my college paid for all incoming freshmen to take the assessment, get their top five. And I remember reading this piece of paper that described qualities in me that I knew were true. I have always known that I'm a precious little snowflake and love that about myself.

Okay. Okay. But now I have this piece of paper, it says these things about me and the things that I had been punished for, disciplined for, now are being praised. Now this piece of paper says, these are good about you. And I'm like, I know. So I think that's what the assessment brought to me was it helped me to value myself and it gave me language to, to help me.

Kind of refine that and and look for people and opportunities and places that valued what I had to contribute. Oh, that's so incredible. It's making me think of this time when I had a one on one coaching with a sales executive and it, his first strengths experience. He was like, Yeah. I think I'm near tears because no one's ever said anything this nice about me.

And it was, he was reading the report. He's literally talking about what the report is saying about him. And I'm like, yeah it's your inputs just reflected back and how these things could be amazing for you. And somebody else. Actually now sees it, puts it in words, frames it up in a way that could be useful instead of these liabilities or overuses.

It's so cool the way it's oriented to what you already know about yourself. You already knew you were awesome. You just needed the. Yeah. But isn't it amazing? And I've, I know that we're not the only two, everyone listening to this has their own story. Maybe someday we'll have a way that they can come and leave comments.

Do you have a place like that on your website where people can share their stories with us? What I think would be fun is if people left it in the review, if you could be like, come tell us in your review, what your first strengths experience was, where did you get exposed? Where did you turn your mind on to the fact that you're listening to this episode?

Because you're at least curious about what it could mean to think from a strengths lens. So yeah, come tell us in the review of the show. Yeah. I love that because also that will help other people find the podcast and maybe find strengths for the first time. So they can have their own first experience.

So great suggestion. Exactly. A nice tie into first experience because they come around and they look at what people have written and say, Whoa, maybe I need to give this a shot. Yes. So big shout out to all the managers out there who are ready to break all the rules. Really encourage you to keep listening here.

To learn how to apply strengths in your teams and at work every day. And also big shout out to all of those in higher education who are making this available to your students. I have such a heart for strengths, at the college university level, because it literally changed my life. And. Gosh, I just said the thing that I always get mad when I hear other people say it.

The assessment didn't change my life. It helped me to change my life. There's no magic bullet out there. Let me just say that. But it is so powerful. So shout out to all the people doing all the good work. Absolutely. Yeah. And I like that because you're introducing that favorite things section and mine for short, just tied into this episode would be go read first break all the rules.

If you never read that book, especially if you're a people manager, it is really an incredible thought that here we are 20 years later after I read the book, I still think we're just Back where we used to be in terms of break fixing all the time and only being in problem solving and perfectionist mode in the workplace.

And we've come, a long way in many areas, but still it's not as far as I thought it would be. So reading that book and thinking about the rules and the narratives that are in your mind that you could. Reframe. I would definitely offer that as my favorite thing for this topic. What about you? Tool, app, technique, book, anything that strikes you?

I think. I want to encourage people to spend some time looking at your number 34 to identify the value that it brings. If there, 34 or something that's at the bottom of your report, if there's something that consistently frustrates you that's what I was thinking when you were telling your story, Lisa.

There are people. Who felt like wet blankets or people who would always say no to my ideas or, my positivity got hurt, like often came from what was at the bottom of my report. I couldn't understand what value they were bringing.

I would encourage anyone listening to pick a talent theme that's at the bottom of your report and study it and learn talk to people who have that high, learn what the value that it brings and how it can specifically bring value to you, maybe in your work position or even just to the world so that you can appreciate it and be fascinated by it instead of being frustrated.

Ooh, that's a really good one. So I know I put you on the spot, but. Talking about the assessment itself. What a perfect link to a first strengths experience. If you're a listener and you don't have your full 34, because so many people listen, they say, what there are 34. I only have five.

Just go to lead through strengths.com and in the main menu, there's a link called Buy codes where you can buy codes. You could get an upgrade code if you haven't done CliftonStrengths yet with the full report. And then you can see that bottom that Brea is talking about. That is so insightful. I love looking at the bottom two and saying, who is someone I know that I really respect and love, and I just find.

Absolutely adorable as a human who leads through this so that I can then transfer their intent onto other people, like maybe the person who's annoying you and say, but if they're coming from this other same place as this other person I love, why is it adorable over here? Cause it might just be used very maturely on the person you think is great.

And then it helps you make that transfer so that you can also see the greatness in that person. And that person who happens to be annoying you that day. I love that. Especially when it's not, when the theme is not natural for you, it's not the way that you think, feel or behave at a, an easy button level, right?

It's so hard to read about it. And fully grasp it, and love it. So making that a person, taking a real life person that you know and love. I love that. At least I think that's super super powerful. Yeah. It's a great suggestion. Thank you. So if someone wants to work with you, Brea, and do things like, Hey, I've got my 34.

What do I do with this? Walk me through it. What do they do if they want to work with you? Yeah. It starts with just a quick little conversation. You can go to my website, which is Brearoper. com and click the button that says schedule a call and we'll hop on the call and talk about how we might be able to work together.

Spell Brea for them just in case it's B R E A R O P E R. com fabulous. And if you want to work with me, Lisa, yeah, leadthroughstrengths. com specialize in team retreats and taking people through these first strengths kickoffs as a team. And then I also support coaches in launching their tools to be able to spread this to the world.

With that. I think my closing thought on this is just realizing that this idea of strengths being an easy button for your life is such an incredible thing you can take away. You get your first strengths experience and you realize, Oh, I was making everything a little bit too hard. So that's my kind of closing visual is imagine it like having A top five or a top 10 set of easy buttons to help guide you through all the circumstances that pop up in your work and your love and your life.

How about you? Hard work doesn't have to feel hard. When we lead through our strength, when we lead through our strengths, then we get to use our easy buttons for more energy, more happiness, and greater results. And you just heard it in action with Brea leading through communication command with the perfect like Hard work doesn't have to feel so hard.

Strengths in action right there. So closed up with a bow. Can't wait to talk to you next time. See y'all later.

To work with Lisa, head over to Lead Through Strengths

To work with Brea, check out BreaRoper.com

Finally, you can learn the answer to the riddle: What do Malbec wine, Kansas City, and dancing in the rain have in common?

Woo hoo. The Lead Through Strengths podcast is back in action.

In this quickie bonus episode, find out who my new co-host is. She's one of my CliftonStrengths besties. Weekly episodes re-start now.

To stay up on the latest quarterly training events as they're posted, I recommend joining our email list at https://leadthroughstrengths.com/challenge/

Other resources from the episode:

Make your More Of List - https://leadthroughstrengths.com/moreof/

Hear the Ben Fanning Episode to tie your soul-filling work with your strengths - https://leadthroughstrengths.com/should-i-quit-my-job/

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Maybe it was a bad experience with another assessment tool, or the thought that another assessment is unnecessary. But if someone in your team refuses to participate in StrengthsFinder, it helps to gather insights behind the "why."

Chances are you can form or offer solutions that could win you into Team StrengthsFinder so everyone can experience the awesomeness of discovering one's true strengths.

In today's episode, Lisa captures the top reasons some people pass on taking the Strengthsfinder survey.

Did they have a bad experience in the past? Can you convince them that you're using this to open up your understanding of each other - not to put them in a box? Is it possible to know your team member's strengths without the assessment tool?

Listen as Lisa answers these questions. Here's the full transcript of the episode:

You're listening to Lead Through Strengths, where you'll learn to apply your greatest strengths at work. I'm your host, Lisa Cummings, and I gotta tell you, it's tough to find something at work that is more energizing than using your strengths every day.

Now, in today's Q&A episode, I got a question that kind of challenges that opening statement. It's from a person who asked, "As a manager, what to do when someone on the team refuses to participate in StrengthsFinder? They don't like assessments, and they don't want to be stereotyped."

So, I'm saying, "Hey what's more energizing than using your strengths every day?"

And this person is saying, "I don't know what to do. How am I supposed to use that person's strengths? They won't even participate."

Now, and digging a little bit deeper, this person specifically said they don't want to participate because they don't want to be put into a box.

We've delivered training to over 20,000 participants. I think I can remember three people feeling like this, like saying, "These assessments are stupid." Or, "I don't want to be put into a box." Or folding their arms at the back of the room just not participating, showing up at the event but not doing the process.

So, that is good news, and most people feel like, "Hey, oh you want to talk about how I'm awesome? Let's go for it."

But once in a while, you get people who don't want to participate. So first things first. I think that these kinds of tools and most training is best done in an opt-in kind of way if you're talking about personal and professional development.

If somebody doesn't want to opt in to their own personal development, if somebody doesn't want to opt in to an event like this, trying to make them do it..."I just haven't seen that go well..." So, I always invite them in to the session, even if they haven't done the assessment. I always make it a point that they can decide later on, that they can take the assessment.

I just tell them, "Hey, come on, try it and sit in the back. I won't bother you. See if you like the concepts. If you do, you can take the assessment later. There are some downsides to getting exposed to it before you take the assessment..."

But the reality is they weren't going to do it anyway. So, let them come in. If they feel like it's a safe enough thing or it's an interesting enough concept, then most of the time they'll opt in later.

One of the reasons that they do change their minds is: if you think about CliftonStrengths, the chance that someone else will have your exact top 5 in the same order as you, it's one in 33 million. And I don't think it's lost on people that you do feel really unique when you're doing an assessment like CliftonStrengths. It definitely does not feel like putting someone in a box.

The language is really easy. It's easy to understand and have conversations with each other on the first day that you're learning about it, but at the same time, when you know that it's one in 33 million that would have the same as you, 1 through 5 in the same order, that actually makes you feel like, "no boxes are being made at all."

So I do think it helps that "don't put me in a box" situation. And sometimes, just giving that proof point up front — because there are 34 talent themes that are potentially there, and then of those 34 we'll usually focus in on their top 5 — that usually helps people not feel like you're going to put them in one of four categories and they're going to be in the corner of the room as the mean people or the weak people or the whatever people because usually that's where it's coming from. We're definitely not here to create stereotypes.

What about when they've had a bad experience at another company?

Maybe they've done Myers Briggs or DISC, or one where they're put into four colors, and maybe it was facilitated in a way where it just did seem like there were only four options and a couple of them were demonized.

So I get it that people have some bad experiences and then they think it's dumb and they don't want to participate. Of course, the design behind those assessments is deeper than that, yet sometimes they get over-simplified in training events.

Another approach to consider: if you have a solid relationship with this person, ask some questions like, "Tell me more about your reluctance."

You will probably hear insights you didn't think about. For example, "Well, I don't like taking assessments like this. I don't speak English as a first language." Well, great - you actually have a solution for them. You can do the assessment in many different languages.

Maybe they'll say, "Oh, the truth is I don't like doing assessments like this because I don't do well on tests." Well, if you actually have learning disabilities or some other situations, you can actually call the customer service line at Gallup, and they can take it off of the timer. So I know that one can be touchy to talk about it. You likely don't want to get into medical issues with people, but if somebody does not like taking tests because of processing speed, it is something that you could offer up to them.

Okay, so we've got the person who refuses to participate in StrengthsFinder because, "I don't want to be put into a box." We covered that part pretty well. And you know that I like to do assessments in an opt-in culture kind of way. So invite them in to start participating at anytime.

The second thing, we have different languages and different test scenarios that can be available for them. Although it's not a test. On the language part, I like to call it the StrengthsFinder tool or the CliftonStrengths assessment. "Survey" can seem a bit too informal, like it's not a valid instrument. Tool sounds useful and accurate (because it is). If you're talking to an HR team, the word "assessment" will ring true to them. It all depends on your audience.

For me, "tool" is the most widely-appropriate descriptor. I know I'm nerding out on the nitty gritty words, but wow - the "test" thing can really wig people out.

And then the last idea is, just let this person participate in their own words. So when we design our virtual training, we always take people out to tools that will say, if you have your top 5 focus in on XYZ — and when I say XYZ I mean, we've made tools for each of the 34 talents where they can look up their specific information. But if somebody hasn't, we have this extensive list of an inventory of words, where they can pick words that reflect how they get worked on when they are at their best.

So we actually make the virtual training available so that someone could participate without having an assessment in front of them. We started doing that because people ran into budget issues and they were like, "Hey we want to run 100 people through this, but we don't have the money for assessments right now." And then we could have strength-focused conversations, regardless of whether they had an assessment.

So it's also handy for someone who didn't get to take the assessment because something came up. Maybe someone in the family died the couple of nights before your StrengthsFinder training. And now they're at the event, and boom, they don't have anything to go on, and I don't want to alienate them.

So that's one solution as well. And one way that you could do this, if you go to leadthroughstrengths.com/challenge, you will see a page where we do this 12-week process. It's kind of like a team challenge for you to run a 12-week process of asking people about their strengths. Eleven of the 12 of those questions don't even mention anything specific about their talent themes. They are literally just thinking of what puts people at their best.

So you can get them participating in the process, just have everyone on the team sign up for that, and have the discussions as a team and learn what puts people at their best. You don't have to have a language.

CliftonStrengths is a total shortcut. It can be like a decoder ring. I would use it every time - it's almost like having a human instruction manual for each person on your team. You can get to this faster with a tool like StrengthsFinder, yet you can uncover similar things about each other with meaningful conversations over time.

I love CliftonStrengths because it makes everything so much easier. It gives you a common language and helps you really understand who shares some similar talents, and that helps them understand how to apply them more quickly. I mean it's my favorite assessment by a mile. At the same time, we don't have to have a tool in order to have strengths conversations.

So that's one thing I would do as a team, is get enrolled in that challenge. It's free, and that way you can start to have those conversations without the tool as a requirement.

The last thing is, especially if you are a people manager — but this would go for anyone leading an effort like this — if someone refuses to participate in StrengthsFinder (or any training you're delivering to get strengths-based conversations going), just start looking for their strengths anyway.

You know when they're at their best, and if you've recognized it, you are now showing them that you see them when they're at their best. You don't need an assessment to tell you where they really rock. And they don't have to have a tool to figure out where they really rock.

Sometimes it gives you a whole new filter for looking at things. It gives you a whole new set of language that maybe you haven't considered. So of course, the tool has benefits - yet it's not the only way to get there.

Usually, I find that people are really good at describing what they know, kind of like the skills and experiences stuff they're really comfortable with. But when you talk about how you work, how you relate to people, how you make decisions, how you do critical thinking, those are the areas of these natural talents where people aren't as good at knowing their own. That's one reason I love the assessment because it brings it out and they're like, "Oh yeah I already know this but I wouldn't have said it."

So if you are on a strength-spotting mission as a manager, or a teammate who's trying to spot it in someone but you don't have their list of talent themes around you, just watch for what they do well and think of things like that.

• How do they relate to other people well?
• How do they influence people?
• How do they do their best thinking?
• How do they do their best decision-making?
• How do they get things done?
• How do they interact with others?

Those are some really good categories if you go through. They'll help you spot their strengths, regardless of having any assessment. And the good news is, the likelihood is, once the momentum gets going in the organization, they're going to join you, because they see that it's being used for good and not for evil.

So with that I will see you for the next question. Bye for now.

Check out this episode to help you articulate the best advantages of StrengthsFinder for your team, as well as the practical applications for your strengths. Far from putting you inside a box, Lisa's guest Adam Seaman thinks that as you access the tool deeply, not only will it confirm how you already see and describe yourself, it will also guide you on what to do with those strengths.

But you may ask, is there proof that strengths-focused development works? See the data-driven proof points from Gallup research in this episode, which shows the difference in effects when you invest in your strengths versus when you invest in something that you're just average in.

That's because strengths are easy buttons for better performance. When you focus on what feels easy for you (which may not come easy for other people), that allows you to be more productive and to contribute better to the team. The more these natural talents are consistently noticed, the more you are encouraged to cultivate them. Focusing on your strengths really works the magic.