Lead Thru Values

The Controlling leader is the first of 5 negative leadership behaviors of overly busy leaders.

The controlling leader is described as a control freak, a micromanager... even as a dictator in some cases because of their desire to take control of every situation. They may lead with intimidation and use fear tactics.

They can be highly effective in short term situations – especially in times of chaos and rapid change.

However, this dangerous leadership behavior is very disempowering to team members.

The controller often apologizes for their behavior; even laughs it off as, "that's just how I am."

But don't miss this:  the controlling leader develops compliant followers. They stifle creativity, innovation and autonomy that will limit a team's success.


Negative Aspects of Overly Busy Leader series:

This is a new series that will explore five negative, undesirable attributes of leadership that we all struggle with.

The reality is we all have at least a primary and probably a secondary attribute; but if you’re thinking you don’t struggle with at least one of these, then I’d suggest you may lacking some self awareness and some humility! 

Often, these behaviors are driven out of a sense of pride or fear, perhaps out of a scarcity mindset… or even due to being overwhelmed or stressed by things like our current economic situation.

So over the next 5 episodes we’re going to look at 

• The controller
• The critic
• The rescuer
• The avoider
• The people pleaser

This is content that I’m pulling from my Unbusy Leader masterclass workshops as well as from coaching with clients 1:1 or inside their organizations. 

<< Check out James Mayhew's 'Leading Remotely' live online workshop schedule >>

5 tips for effective ZOOM meetings

Make no mistake, virtual meetings are here for good. But leading an effective ZOOM meeting can be intimidating, especially during times of unplanned and rapid change.

There are plenty of ‘how-to’ articles out there to help you learn the technical aspects of the software, so this guide is going to focus on the human side of virtual meetings, from etiquette to setting expectations, and how to create the best possible meeting experience for your attendees.

1. Be on time and be prepared.
It might surprise you, but one of the biggest reasons that meetings are ineffective is because the organizer isn’t prepared. Challenges with technology, neglecting to distribute documents, links or files, not using an agenda, or showing up late are all signs of being ill-prepared. 

2. Set ground rules.
Will this be a working meeting or mostly informational? Or, is it for your team to share progress updates and status reports? Make sure everyone knows and if there’s a chance, communicate it ahead of time.

I help my clients discover and define their culture (how they get work done.) ­Part of the discovery process is to identify their ‘Accidental Values.’  A common accidental value is lateness (ie, being late to appointments, missing deadlines and adjusting due dates.) 

The expectation of holding meetings on-time will spark a microshift in your culture of being on-time.

3. Let people know what you are – and what you are not doing.
This one is also courtesy and sign of respect for others. Let your team know that the reason you’re looking away is due to you taking notes, or some other meeting-related activity.

4. Keep people engaged. (Yes, it’s possible.)
You can run a great virtual meeting where people are engaged if you do a little extra homework prior. 

Give people a job… some examples might include:

• Have one team member write down any questions that come up during a brainstorm.
• Have someone take notes on key discussion points.
• Have another manage Zoom resources like chat or document sharing.

Keep the lengths of your meetings down. We’ve all endured the never-ending meeting, and online meetings for remote workers can be especially tiring, boring and tedious. 

5. Be a human. Remember to smile.
Virtual meetings fill an important role, but they aren’t a perfect replacement for human connection. It can be easy for high achievers to run efficient, effective meetings. 

 But don’t miss this… build in a little extra time for connection.

Leaders, it’s so important to remember to be a human. Smile a little more. Tell a funny story or something interesting that happened to you. If you don’t have anything, ask someone ahead of time to do it.

Be patient in times of constant change. You could even close your meeting by asking people to recognize others. Call it something clever. A department in a company that I used to work called this ‘kudos’ and they ended their meetings by recognizing someone else who helped them or did something above and beyond. 

Leadership isn’t about creating followers; it’s about developing other leaders.

A good leadership coach understands the client’s needs.

Their culture
Their organizational structure
They’ve learned about the dynamics that are driving the need for this new leadership role.

Compared to Training, leadership coaching doesn’t assume the starting point, doesn’t assume everyone is starting at level 1 and how they should progress through levels, 2, 3, 4 and so on. 

It’s not a one-size-fits-all approach.

When I’m coaching a client, I’ve built a relationship with them.
I’ve invested time in getting to know about their journey;

If they know their Strengths
What type of leadership experience they’ve had
Who has been influential in their development
How they like to learn
How they prefer to receive feedback

This creates a foundation for respect, especially because I’m showing them the importance of making time to invest in them. 

I’ll remind them of that later.
And it shows them that I’m interested in them - not just as a client, but as a human.

When coaching new leaders, it’s so beneficial to let them reveal what they know and what they don’t know.

An experienced coach will pick up little clues about a new leader’s mindset about leadership.

And, because you’re ultimately working for the organization and you have the organization’s best interest in mind at all times, it provides a framework to help the new leader be successful.

Another difference between training and coaching is that training is typically destination based.

Coaching is direction based.
Destination based refers to having a defined start and end. 
It assumes that at the end of the training, everyone will be at the same level, will have learned the same.
But good trainers recognize that’s not true, and they create options for that.
Regardless, it still has an end. 
You may get a certificate upon completion stating you have arrived.

Leadership coaching is directionally based.

The start line and finish line are different for each person.
In fact, with directional based leadership coaching, there simply isn’t a finish line 
There may be a handoff to another coach;
There are milestones to track and celebrate progress,
But there is no arrival; no finish line.
There’s simply more to learn.

And that’s what leadership is all about.
Consistent learning. Constant growth. 

Three simple, yet powerful attributes of Unbusy Leaders:
Aware
Available
Approachable

Remember:  the real sin of busyness is hurriedness.

But the best leaders – unbusy leaders – are Aware:

• They are "Noticers"
• They see what's going well, and what's not going well, team and people dynamics, opportunities & challenges
• Their eyes are up and they are listening.

Having awareness makes you a better leader, a better manager... but also a better spouse, parent and friend.

There are 4 qualities that Unbusy Leaders possess that help them be Available:

1. They listen well
2. They eliminate distractions
3. They get close to their people
4. They value and create margin time 

Unbusy Leaders are also Approachable.

They are consistent in their mannerisms; in how they react to situations.
They are fair and honest in how they deal with people.
They don't get too high or too low.
They are trusted and respected.

Don't miss this:  if you are NOT approachable, people will not share critical information with you.

4 Ways Overly Busy Leaders Get This Wrong:

1. You value work over people.
2. You get in over your head and behind with work.
3. You confuse commitments with priorities; you overcommit.
4. You are in a constant state of being hurried.

BONUS episode :  Has COVID19 forever changed how we run meetings?

What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word, Meeting.

Does that word make you cringe? 

Is it because you’ve been a victim of bad meeting after bad meeting?

Meetings are a fact of life in business.

If you’re leading a meeting, you cannot afford for it to be 

• Unproductive
• Meaningless
• Or otherwise irrelevant

 With this massive shift where many people are working remotely, I have to wonder, will the result be that we’re going to be smarter about meetings? 

This whole event has disrupted how we’re working.

And I believe it’s exposing the inefficiencies of meetings in new ways… 

• No defined purpose for the meeting
• No agendas
• People leaving without clear action items
• Lacking accountability

Many of you are experiencing new meeting formats. 

Having to deal with the learning curve of using new technology

As well as technical issues and trouble shooting

Here are 5 quick tips to making your next virtual meeting successful (NOTE:  these are based using Zoom paid accounts)

1. Send out the invitation with at least 24 hours notice with the link – always with the link – to the meeting. Every time.
2. Turn off Chat. As the meeting organizer, this is an option when you set the meeting up.
   • Using chat can be distracting and often is downright disrespectful if it’s unrelated or could even contribute to some toxicity between members
   
   
3. Make video mandatory. We need to see faces and this increases engagement.
4. Teach, and then remind everyone to mute when they’re not speaking. 
   • The background noise, slurping a coffee, or environment noise will make it hard to hear.
   
   
5. Be a great facilitator. 
   • If this is your meeting, ask someone else to take notes if necessary. 
   • Don’t allow someone to hijack your meeting with their own agenda. 
   • Break in and ask for that conversation to go offline
   
   

Do these 5 things well and watch how your team responds. Your meetings will become:

• More focused
• More productive
• More engaging
• Shorter

As always I invite your ideas, comments and questions.

Meetings are fact of life for leaders, so take ownership for their success.

Your team will thank you for it.

Thank you for listening, and remember, the unbusy leader releases the talent, passion and skill of everyone around them.

Leader:  Has your nose been 'down to the grindstone' lately?

If so, do your team a favor and pause... take a look around and intentionally notice things.

Here are 5 things you might notice when you become a notice:

1. People who are crushing it. Recognize them!
2. People who aren't working well together. Coach them!
3. A great customer success story. Champion it!
4. A toxic situation on a team. Eradicate it!
5. Market shifts and opportunities. Seize them!

Unbusy leaders rise above the minutia of the day. They intentionally and actively look for opportunities and take decisive action.

Send your questions, ideas and feedback to [email protected].

Are you giving energy away to negativity? 

 This is my lesson for today and I want to share it with you.

I allowed myself to blame LinkedIn for stealing 30 minutes from me after a post that I created vanished into thin air, unrecoverable.

In disgust I murmured, “Well, I can see that’s how my day is going to go!”

Except that’s BS. 

It’s my negative OVER reaction to a random occurrence beyond my control. I gave it power. If I allow it to continue, it will become my reality. 

Leaders, we have to stop giving away our power to stupid crap. 

“I’m going to allow that to ruin my day?? Allow it to take me off mission?”

Heck no!  

That’s why I’m sharing it with you here. I don’t want stupid stuff to cause you to be distracted, disrupted or otherwise disgusted.  

I’m better than that. You’re better than that. 

It’s not going to be a bad day. It’s going to be an amazing day! 

Negativity will steal your energy if you let it, and that will make you less productive, more hurried, lead to more mistakes, and have more stress. 

You’ll be more productive when you rise above negative thoughts and the associated negative beliefs you tell yourself about other people.

You’ve heard these dangerous business phrases before...

• We’ve always done it that way. 
• We tried that before.
• That’s not my job.

Except it’s so easy to slide back into them.

They subtly creep back into your life when...

You are overly busy. 

Yes, busyness will take you backwards. It will get you and your team stuck. 

Because when you’re the leader and you feel stuck, you stifle your team’s progress.

Just look at it from your ability to make decisions:

• Indecision
• Poor judgement
• Hurried decisions
• Inconsistency 

These are not the behaviors of good leaders.

I may be the worst person to produce a podcast on busyness.

But maybe, I’m the best.

I’ve realized something in this journey…I have a humble calling to an extravagant call.

That calling is to help author your story.

To increase your awareness – not just about being busy – but the awareness that will help you be a better leader;

To make yourself more available to the people that need you; to be approachable and fully present with them.

If we’ve learned anything over the past few weeks, it’s that most of us have been doing life poorly;

We’re in the midst of the pause;

We’re learning how to adapt our businesses and our personal lives…

And in many ways, we’re learning how to deal with a significant amount of extra time

Because we’re no longer running as frequently and as fast

I think it’s a blessing…

But I’m confident that we’ll return to our ‘old normal’ and forget some valuable lessons

We’ll become overly busy again…

 Why am I doing this

I believe the world demands a better brand of leadership.

Leaders who release the talent, passion and skill of everyone around them.

It’s time to raise the bar of leadership and become the leader your organization hired you to be, the leader your team needs you to be, and the leader you know you can be.

So what  should you expect from me – your host and leadership coach?

We will have an honest conversation about the true cost of busyness.

• That means it might be a little raw at times
• You may not agree with what I’m saying
• You may even feel as though you’re being called out – that’s called conviction. And it can feel personal. But don’t make it personal. 
• This is about learning.

The 2nd thing you should expect are breakthroughs in perspective.

• I believe that breakthroughs in perspective are the catalysts for meaningful and lasting change
• Otherwise, what are we doing? 
• The 3rd thing you should expect from me is honesty.
• I’m going to share some of my own experiences and experiences that I’ve helped others through – or that they’ve taught me.
• As I share experiences and breakthroughs from others, I’ll change names/locations even time periods. It’s not about Who – it’s about What they learned and How it will help you. 

Let’s’ talk about podcast structure…

As of today, I have 25 episodes outlined and the first 7 are recorded and produced.

They’re tending to be pretty short.

I don’t think we have to elaborate on some of these topics too much.

And, a major component of this podcast is to introduce ideas and concepts that you can go back and talk through with your coworkers or in your professional network.

• “I don’t know if I agree with what the coach was saying today… what do you think?”
• “Am I failing at this? Am I unapproachable at times?”
• “Am I creating a culture of busyness on my team?”

So there you go…  

Like you, I struggle with busyness 

It has strained my relationships; caused me to lose focus and taken me off course.

It’s why I’m so passionate about it why I’m devoting so much of my own time and energy to helping others.

Because the unbusy leader releases the talent, passion and skill of everyone around them.

Would you hire a company that specializes in restoration and cleaning services if... 

Their fleet vehicles were excessively dirty and with rust and dents?

The employees who drive the vehicle aren’t in clean uniforms?  

The music that was blasting from that vehicle while filling up for gas was filled with derogatory lyrics?

That’s what I noticed recently as I was filling up for gas.

The company logo and slogan was plainly visible on the truck’s doors and tailgate. 

And I thought to myself, if I ever need their services after a fire or flood, there’s absolutely no way I’d hire them.  

Image matters. Brand matters.

From my perspective, this is a both an organizational culture and leadership issue.

And I can tell you right now that they don’t value training, customer experience, quality or excellence.  

But they do have a set of accidental values that have become their standards.