If  I had a magic wand I’d touch it to the hearts of those who hurt others and yet claim to love. If I had a magic wand I’d touch it to the hearts of those who allow themselves to be hurt by others and yet claim they are loved. One of the biggest misconceptions we have about relationships is that we have the power to change another person.  If we’re just more understanding, patient, loving, open, scream louder, say it in a different way, etc., then he or she will wake up and get it.  If it were that easy I would wave my magic wand and the world would transform overnight.

• Consistent behavior, not words is proof of who someone is.
• Relationships become unfulfilled when we hold onto a fantasy of what we want someone to be rather than accepting the truth of who their behavior is telling us they are.
• The only love strong enough to end negative, abusive behavior, is self-love, for un

I don’t know how to dance the Argentine Tango with its virtually unlimited improvisational opportunities or the American/International Tango where specific steps and patterns are learned for competitive events. If I want to be part of a successful dance team, whether it is for competition or just out for fun on Saturday night, I first have to learn how to dance. The same is true of my having successful relationships because those also require me to be able to move in rhythmic partnership to an ever-changing dance of interpersonal dynamics.