Leader Fluent with Stephen Blandino

In today’s episode of the Leader Fluent Podcast, I’m talking about “Four Ways to Handle Criticism in Leadership.” Criticism is an increasing problem in the leadership landscape. It might be a problem, but how we handle it can become a bigger problem. 

If you’re not already a subscriber, I’d love for you to subscribe to Leader Fluent today on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, Android, Pandora, or your favorite podcasting platform. And as always, your RATINGS and REVIEWS are deeply appreciated. 

You don’t have to be in leadership for long to realize that criticism comes with the territory. People have opinions, and they’re not afraid to share them. That was certainly the case for Nehemiah when he began rebuilding the wall around Jerusalem.

Nehemiah 4:1-3 says, “When Sanballat heard that we were rebuilding the wall, he became angry and was greatly incensed. He ridiculed the Jews, and in the presence of his associates and the army of Samaria, he said, ‘What are those feeble Jews doing? Will they restore their wall? Will they offer sacrifices? Will they finish in a day? Can they bring the stones back to life from those heaps of rubble—burned as they are?’ Tobiah the Ammonite, who was at his side, said, ‘What they are building—even a fox climbing up on it would break down their wall of stones!’”

These weren’t subtle grumblings under their breath. These were blatant criticisms meant to dissuade Nehemiah and the people of Jerusalem from completing the way. But they didn’t Nehemiah or the people of Jerusalem. They doubled down on their efforts until the wall was finally finished in only 52 days. 

What about you? What critiques are your critics lobbing onto your leadership and the ministry God has entrusted to you? More importantly, how are you responding? Here are four ways to respond appropriately. 

Everybody has an opinion, but that doesn’t mean you need to give every opinion equal weight. 

Sanballat and Tobiah were neither trustworthy nor interested in Nehemiah’s success. Quite the opposite. They schemed to harm Nehemiah (6:2), were relentless in their efforts to distract him (6:3-4), told lies to him and about him (6:5-9), and repeatedly tried to intimidate him (6:10-14, 19). Their critiques were born out of fear and intimidation rather than genuine care for Nehemiah and Jerusalem.

You will encounter criticism, but when it comes, consider the source. Disagreement doesn’t mean disloyalty. We must ask, is the source credible and caring? Are they trustworthy people who genuinely want what’s best for you AND for the organization? 

If they only want what’s best for you, your leadership will become self-serving. And if they only want what’s best for the organization, they may be fine bulldozing you in the process. The source needs be both CREDIBLE AND CARING. Being credible gives them permission to speak into the good of the organization. And being caring sets the tone in how they treat you in the process. 

There was no truth in the criticisms coming from Sanballat and Tobiah. Again, they lied to and about Nehemiah (6:5-9), and Nehemiah had the discernment to know they were lying. However, that’s not always the case. Even in hard criticisms, sometimes there’s a kernel of truth. 

Several years ago, I heard Carey Nieuwhof interview Scott Sauls, a pastor from Nashville who once worked with author and pastor Tim Keller. In the interview, Scott Sauls shared a powerful response Keller had toward criticism. Sauls said, “In a dozen false things said about him, he would search for a kernel of truth that he could repent of, because every opportunity for repentance is an opportunity to draw closer to Jesus.”

What a powerful practice. When Keller found the kernel of truth, he would humbly admit it and pray over it. Notice, Sauls didn’t say, “He searched for a kernel of truth he could agree with.” Truth sets us free, and Tim Keller was determined to embrace truth, even when it hurt. 

Nobody likes criticisms. In fact, not only do we not like it, but we often have a visceral response to it that’s equally critical. In fact, harsher criticism is often how we repay our critics. 

But you can’t search for truth if you’re swinging a sword. You have to control your response. Why? Because your response does three things: it reveals, reinforces, and reproduces. 

First, your response reveals your level of maturity. Calm demeanors are more mature than rash reactions. Second, your response reinforces the truth. If somebody criticizes you for always being defensive, and then you respond in a defensive manner, the truth has been reinforced by your response. Third, your response reproduces patterns of behavior. In other words, how you respond to criticism will make the situation better or worse. Simply put, your response will reproduce bad behavior or good behavior. 

Protecting your heart requires important spiritual habits such as prayer, worship, confession, and Bible Study. It requires a community of safe friends, wise coaches, and sometimes counselors. These are the practices that help you process your pain and remain spiritually and emotionally whole. 

What’s the alternative? If you’re not proactive about protecting your heart, criticism will turn into cynicism. You’ll become bitter, untrusting, angry, and resentful. 

What kind of criticism are you facing right now? Do an honest assessment of how you are responding. Then, consider the source, look for the truth, control your response going forward, and protect your heart. It won’t be easy, but it’s the mature way to handle our critics. 

If you haven’t subscribed to the Leader Fluent Podcast, you can do so today on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, Android, Pandora or your favorite podcast platform. Plus, a RATING or REVIEW will help us spread the word to other leaders. Thanks for your help. 

In today’s episode of the Leader Fluent Podcast, I’m talking about “How to Prepare for a One-On-One with Your Leader.” If you’re a team member, I’ll share four questions you can ask to prepare or your one-on-one. And if you’re a leader, you can use these four questions to train your team how to come prepared for their meeting.

If you’re not already a subscriber, I’d love for you to subscribe to Leader Fluent today on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, Android, Pandora, or your favorite podcasting platform. And as always, your RATINGS and REVIEWS are deeply appreciated. 

One-on-one meetings with your boss, supervisor, or leader are an important part of organizational life. In some environments, one-on-ones are a consistent part of the workflow. In other environments, they are erratic or even non-existent. 

What’s the key to a successful one-on-one meeting? Preparation. So, how can you prepare for a one-on-one meeting with your leader. I recommend four simple questions that can have a powerful impact: 

This part of the meeting is primarily designed to keep your supervisor in the know. Generally, this is a quick summary of the things you want your leader to be aware of. Bosses hate surprises, and the communication part of the meeting is your opportunity to keep them aware of updates on projects, decisions you’ve made, or issues that might affect them, the department, the team, or the organization. 

If you don’t understand something, it’s your job to ask for clarification. You might seek clarification about unclear expectations, timelines, next steps, or other important items. Don’t leave it to chance. Ask quickly and kindly and be sure to take notes.

One-on-one meetings help leaders cultivate healthy people, teams, and organizations. In this insanely practical guide, you’ll learn the why and how of leading one-on-one’s, and how to introduce the idea to your team. Plus, you’ll get two tools: 1) A meeting planner to help team members prepare for a one-on-one; 2) A One-On-One Supervisor Meeting MAPP to help you guide the meeting. Download this 21-page guide today.

Every team member experiences problems or challenges in their work. You might be hitting a wall with a new strategy, struggling to resolve a conflict with another team member, or dealing with a crisis or looming problem. Do your best to come to the meeting with solutions to problems, and then seek your leader’s perspective and advice. 

On the other hand, you might have a new idea you’d like to pitch to your leader. It might be a new product, an improved service, a more effective strategy, or an innovative solution to an organizational challenge. The key is to pitch your idea without expecting an immediate response. Give your leader time to think about it without being pushy or demanding. 

This final part of the meeting is an opportunity to learn new insights, sharpen your skills, and enlarge your leadership capacity. This doesn’t need to be complicated. Instead, come with one or two questions you’d like to ask your leader that would help you get better. Again, don’t expect your leader to read your mind. If you desire to grow in an area, share that with your supervisor and ask for their help. 

Your leader likely has a ton of wisdom to offer. Rather than waiting for them to share their insights, learn to ask thoughtful questions coupled with a posture to listen, learn, and grow. 

Next time you meet with your leader, come prepared with answers to these four questions. Not only will the meeting be far more productive, but your leader is more likely to be appreciative of your initiative and willingness to learn. 

If you haven’t subscribed to the Leader Fluent Podcast, you can do so today on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, Android, Pandora or your favorite podcast platform. Plus, a RATING or REVIEW will help us spread the word to other leaders. Thanks for your help. 

In today’s episode of the Leader Fluent Podcast, I’m talking about “Seven Keys to Resolve Conflict.”Conflict is a part of life and leadership, and how we resolve it matters. If you’re not already a subscriber, I’d love for you to subscribe to Leader Fluent today on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, Android, Pandora, or your favorite podcasting platform. And as always, your RATINGS and REVIEWS are deeply appreciated. 

Every leader encounters conflict. In fact, conflict is a part of life, whether it’s at work, at school, or at home. And one of the biggest reasons for conflict is when there’s a gap between expectations and reality. So, how do you resolve the conflict in an effective and healthy manner? 

We find a really practical strategy on conflict resolution in the book of Acts chapter 15. In this passage, a conflict arises between Paul and Barnabas and some men from Judea. The conflict is over a Jewish religious practice that existed under the Old Covenant that was abolished when, through Jesus, a New Covenant was established. But these men from Judea are trying to impose this old religious practice onto the Gentiles. 

Needless to say, this difference of opinion became a point of conflict in the early church. So, Paul and Barnabas head to Jerusalem to meet with the apostles and elders of the church to resolve this issue. And from this meeting, we discover seven keys to resolve conflict. 

Acts 15:7a says, “At the meeting, after a long discussion…” Why did these leaders have a long discussion? Because they needed to create space to hear both sides of the issue. In other words, a long discussion made room to gain understanding. 

Author Stephen Covey said, “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” But what do we like to do? We like to seek first to make our point, so then they’ll understand. But that rarely works. You don’t gain understanding with answers. You gain understanding with questions. 

Acts 15:7 says, “At the meeting, after a long discussion, Peter stood and addressed them as follows: “Brothers, you all know that God chose me from among you some time ago to preach to the Gentiles so that they could hear the Good News and believe.”

Peter established common ground. He said, “You all know.” But again, we like to begin with what I know rather than what we know. But that approach burns the very bridges that would allow us to resolve the conflict.  

John Maxwell calls it The 101% Principle. He says, “Find the 1% that you agree on, and give it 100% of your effort.” In other words, start with common ground. Start with what you both know to be true. 

Acts 15:8 says, “God knows people’s hearts, and he confirmed that he accepts Gentiles by giving them the Holy Spirit, just as he did to us.” 

Peter begins by sharing some basic facts, but he does so without emotion. Again, how we handle conflict reveals our level of maturity. If you handle conflict wisely, calmly, and with self-control, then you are being mature in how you handle it. But if you handle conflict in a harsh, demeaning, or uncontrolled manner, then you are only revealing your immaturity.

Proverbs 15:1 says, “A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.” Articulate the facts without emotion. 

Acts 15:9 says, “He made no distinction between us and them, for he cleansed their hearts through faith.” 

Jews in Jesus’ day had issues with the Gentiles because they wouldn’t conform to Jewish rules. So, what does Peter—who was a Jew—do in this situation? He acknowledges the gentiles’ value, because God acknowledged their value. 

If you want the other person to value your opinion more than you value them as a person, you will only escalate the conflict. Every person on planet earth was made in the image of God, including the person you’re having the most conflict with right now. 

Acts 15:10-11 says, “So why are you now challenging God by burdening the Gentile believers with a yoke that neither we nor our ancestors were able to bear? We believe that we are all saved the same way, by the undeserved grace of the Lord Jesus.

Peter’s not hurling accusations here. Instead, he’s putting his finger on the real issue at hand. This is the part of conflict resolution that is easy to ignore. This is where we so often talk AROUND the issue, rather than addressing the issue at hand. 

How do you address the real issue wisely? You have to speak the truth in the tone of grace. Truth without grace is mean. Grace without truth is meaningless. When you speak truth in the tone of grace, people can more easily digest it. 

Acts 15:12 says, “Everyone listened quietly as Barnabas and Paul told about the miraculous signs and wonders God had done through them among the Gentiles.”

Several years ago, I was sitting in a meeting with a group of leaders from a wide variety of backgrounds, organizations, and life experiences. These were sharp people who desired to make a meaningful contribution. But the longer I sat in the meeting, the more I made an observation: the people who talked the most had the least to say. In fact, the more they spoke, the less credible they became. 

Solomon warned us about this very issue when he said, “Fools have no interest in understanding; they only want to air their own opinions” (Proverbs 18:2). And in verse 13 he said, “Spouting off before listening to the facts is both shameful and foolish.” 

When you begin with the posture of listening, then you earn the privilege to speak. And that’s exactly what happened in Acts 15:13-15a: “When they had finished, James stood and said, “Brothers, listen to me. Peter has told you about the time God first visited the Gentiles to take from them a people for himself. And this conversion of Gentiles is exactly what the prophets predicted.”

James spent all his time up until this point listening without interrupting. And after he had listened carefully, he was then able to say with respect and credibility, “Brothers, listen to me.” 

Author and professor David W. Augsburger said: “Being heard is so close to being loved, that for the average person, they are almost indistinguishable.” Listen without interrupting. 

Acts 15:19 says, “And so my judgment is that we should not make it difficult for the Gentiles who are turning to God.” James wasn’t giving the Gentiles a free pass to do whatever they wanted, but on this issue, he presents a solution that was both sensible and biblical. 

As you implement these seven keys, I believe you’ll become much more effective at resolving conflict in a healthy way. 

If you haven’t subscribed to the Leader Fluent Podcast, you can do so today on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, Android, Pandora or your favorite podcast platform. Plus, a RATING or REVIEW will help us spread the word to other leaders. Thanks for your help. 

In today’s episode of the Leader Fluent Podcast, I’m talking about “Five Keys to Build a High-Performance Team.” Today’s episode gives you a very small taste of a brand new coaching cohort I’m launching that’s focused on building highly effective teams. You can learn more HERE. 

If you’re not already a subscriber, I’d love for you to subscribe to Leader Fluent today on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, Android, Pandora, or your favorite podcasting platform. And as always, your RATINGS and REVIEWS are deeply appreciated. 

Every leader wants his or her team to excel at the highest level possible. But building a high-performance team doesn’t happen just because we want it to. It requires a lot of work and intentionality with five foundational keys. 

Author Jim Collins once said, “If I were running a company today, I would have one priority above all others: to acquire as many of the best people as I could [because] the single biggest constraint on the success of my organization is the ability to get and to hang on to enough of the right people.” 

According to a study released by Leadership IQ, the reason for 89% of job failures is due to Attitude Issues, and 46% of them failed within the first 18 months. But here’s the kicker: 82% of managers in the study said that, in hindsight, the failed hires elicited subtle cues DURING the interview process that they would fail.

So, how do you pick up on those subtle cues that indicate whether a candidate is or isn’t a good fit? You have to create an effective hiring process. Here are three tips to start with:

Again, there are multiple stages to an effective hiring process, but these three keys will help you get started. 

Onboarding is how you set new team members up for success, and that’s the job of the leader. A good onboarding system should answer several questions including:

John Maxwell often says, “The only thing worse than training staff and having them leave, is not training them and having them stay.” So, as leaders, it’s our job to invest in our team’s growth regularly and systematically. By regularly, it should be weekly or at least monthly. And by systematically, it might include conferences, coaching, resources, one-on-one meetings, and staff meetings.

No matter how great your team is, you must be intentional about cultivating and protecting healthy teamwork. Teamwork requires a team, and teams are made up of team members. Therefore, for teams to exhibit healthy teamwork, team members must exhibit four ingredients:

When a staff member has a gap in any one of these four areas, it will disrupt teamwork. So, what happens when there’s a gap? Both the supervisor and the team member have three responsibilities. 

When a performance gap appears, the supervisor’s role is to create awareness of the gap, provide appropriate coaching, and then hold the team member accountable to get better. The team member’s responsibility is to own the gap, be teachable, and then make improvements.

Engagement and culture have to do with your work environment. So, what’s the difference between an engaged employee and a disengaged employee? An ENGAGED EMPLOYEE has a positive attitude and enthusiasm for their boss, their role, and the organization’s vision, values, and culture. They love what they do and feel an important part of the organization. A DISENGAGED EMPLOYEE has a negative attitude toward the organization, their role, and their boss. They feel unenergized by their work. They punch the clock, but their heart, mind, passion, and energy are elsewhere. 

Clarence Francis, former chairman of General Foods made a great observation about employee engagement. He said, “You can buy a man’s time; you can buy his physical presence at a given place; you can even buy a measured number of his skilled muscular motions per hour. But you cannot buy enthusiasm…you cannot buy loyalty…you cannot buy the devotion of hearts, minds, or souls. You must earn these.” 

Here’s what you have to understand about engagement. In their book, Everyone Deserves a Great Manager, authors Scott Miller, Todd Davis, and Victoria Ross Olsson make a great observation. They said, “Leaders don’t, in fact, create engagement. People choose their level of engagement. Leaders create the conditions for engagement—for better or worse.” 

It’s our job as leaders to model the behavior and create the systems that cultivate a healthy work environment. 

We must also create culture. Culture is the shared values, expectations, and practices that shape what an organization does and how an organization feels. So, what shapes culture? Lots of things do. For example, the leadership you emanate, the wins you celebrate, the behaviors you tolerate, and the language you articulate shape culture. Whether positive or negative, leaders shape culture. 

As you focus on these five areas, I believe you’ll take your team development efforts to an entirely new level.

The “Building a Highly Effective Team” coaching experience includes five-sessions that will help you create an effective hiring process, maximize your onboarding system, invest in your team’s growth, cultivate healthy teamwork, and improve engagement and culture. In fact, here are just a few of the things you’ll learn: 

PLUS, in each session, you’ll receive in depth training notes, have the opportunity for Q & A, and you’ll receive copies of my hiring process, interview questions, position profile, onboarding system, goal-setting template, performance reviews, one-on-one coaching MAPP, and more that you can CUSTOMIZE TO YOUR CONTEXT.

If you’re a pastor, executive pastor, manager, team leader, or non-profit leader, I want to invite you to sign-up for this coaching experience HERE. 

If you haven’t subscribed to the Leader Fluent Podcast, you can do so today on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, Android, Pandora or your favorite podcast platform. Plus, a RATING or REVIEW will help us spread the word to other leaders. Thanks for your help. 

In today’s episode of the Leader Fluent Podcast, I’m talking about “How to Equip Your Team to Set Great Goals.” We’re going to look at five questions to ask to give you the green light on your goals. Not only are these great questions to ask yourself, but they’re great questions to help you equip your team to set great goals. 

If you’re not already a subscriber, I’d love for you to subscribe to Leader Fluent today on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, Android, Pandora, or your favorite podcasting platform. And as always, your RATINGS and REVIEWS are deeply appreciated. 

Goal-setting is designed to help us and our team make forward progress, both personally and organizationally. To help our team at 7 City Church set goals, I have a pretty particular goal-setting system. That system includes a one-page goal-setting worksheet that helps them set a clear, specific, measurable, and time-bound goal, as well as a specific action plan to reach the goal. 

But in addition to these common, goal-setting components, I also include five questions that help each staff member determine if they’re ready to START their goal. When we can answer “YES” to all five questions, then we know they’re ready to pursue the goal. I use the word START as an acronym to remember the five questions:

Author Dave Anderson once said, “We are not at our best when life is too safe. In fact, too much certainty is cause for depression. Uncertainty keeps you alert, interested, and engaged.” That’s what “Stretch” is all about. It’s about setting goals that stretch you outside of your safe and secure comfort zone. By stretch, I’m not suggesting that team members should set “completely unrealistic” goals. What I do mean is that the goal should be something beyond what they’re currently doing. 

In general, a team member’s goals should focus on the tasks you hired them to do. That’s why I include a section on our goal worksheet that lists their job responsibilities. This isn’t a detailed job description, but it’s a brief bullet point list of their six primary job responsibilities. Again, those six responsibilities don’t get into the nitty gritty…they are more like broad categories. 

It’s not enough for goals to be in a team member’s job responsibilities. The goal must also be aligned with the overall vision, strategic priorities, and key result areas of the organization. Why? Because if it’s not, you’ll create sideways energy. 

With those three things in focus—vision, strategic priorities, and key result areas—team members write a brief description of how their goal contributes to at least one of them. This ensures the goal is aligned with the overall direction of the organization.

Without a clear action plan, team members risk setting goals that they cannot reach. Our goal worksheet provides a space for team members to list 5-7 action steps they would take to actually reach their goal. Then, when I review the action steps, one of the questions I’m thinking about is this: “How are these actions steps different than what they’re already doing?”

If what they’re planning to do to reach their goal is no different than what they’re already doing, then they’re not going to get an outcome that’s any different than the outcome they’re already getting. It’s the old saying, “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always gotten.” 

Sometimes a team member can set a goal that will stretch them, it’s a task within their job responsibilities, it’s aligned with the organization’s vision and priorities, and their action plan is rock solid. The problem is, it’s just not the right time to pursue the goal. Sometimes, other goals would deliver a greater return on investment, making them a higher priority at this time.  

When you answer those five questions, you and your team will be equipped to set and pursue the right goals.

If you haven’t subscribed to the Leader Fluent Podcast, you can do so today on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, Android, Pandora or your favorite podcast platform. Plus, a RATING or REVIEW will help us spread the word to other leaders. Thanks for your help. 

In today’s episode of the Leader Fluent Podcast, I’m talking about “The 5 Stages of Vision Casting.” Vision is an important part of leadership, which means the ability to cast vision is an essential leadership skill. In this episode of Leader Fluent, we’re going to look at the five stages to casting vision, and how to maximize each stage in your leadership environment. 

If you’re not already a subscriber, I’d love for you to subscribe to Leader Fluent today on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, Android, Pandora, or your favorite podcasting platform. And as always, your RATINGS and REVIEWS are deeply appreciated. 

Author Michael Hyatt said, “Vision, as I see it, is a clear, inspiring, practical, and attractive picture of your organization’s future.” But for that vision to have its greatest impact, the leader must communicate it in a clear and compelling way. It’s not enough to simply have a vision; you also need to create buy-in so the vision can be fulfilled. As author Ray Pritchard once said, “Good leaders have a vision; better leaders share a vision; the best leaders invite others to join them in spreading this vision.” 

The question is, how do you get others to understand the vision, embrace the vision, and rally around the vision? In other words, how do you effectively cast inspiring vision in such a way that people want to join you in the journey to a better future? I believe there are five stages in effective vision casting. 

Vision casting doesn’t start by looking at the future; it starts by celebrating the past. This lets people who have “paid the price” for yesterday’s vision know how much they are appreciated. It’s a simple way of showing honor and respect to the people who paved the way for the church or organization to get to where it is today. 

Celebration sets the tone. It focuses on the wins, and it reinforces the organization’s ability to influence positive change. So, what should you celebrate? Celebrate growth, impact, testimonies, and life change. 

So often leaders share a vision before they’ve ever defined a problem. And yet, every vision is the answer to a problem. In this stage of vision casting, you’re introduce the problem you hope to solve. 

To make the transition from “celebration” to “problem,” use a phrase like this: “We celebrate the impact we’ve made over the last 12 months, but our mission is not done.” Or you might get very specific and say, “We celebrate what God has done in the last five years…but there’s a problem.” Use statistics, research, demographics, photos, and stories to raise awareness of the need you’re trying to meet or the problem you’re trying to solve. Then, once people feel the weight of the problem, transition to the next stage of vision casting.

The solution is the part you’ve been wanting to get to all along. It’s the exciting picture of the future that you want people to see. And now that you’ve honored the past and helped people feel the weight of the need, their hearts are ready to hear the solution. 

Begin to unfold the vision in a clear, compelling, and specific way; the key is to connect the dots between the problem and the solution. That’s when your vision carries the most weight because people see the vision as something we must do not just something we could do.

Every vision comes with a price tag, and the bigger the vision, the bigger the price. And the bigger the price, the more intentional you have to be about layering your vision-casting. In other words, you must cast the vision to different groups of people at different times.

At each vision gathering, celebrate the impact, I introduced a need or a problem, share the vision (which is the solution to the problem), and share what the cost of the vision will be (which by the way, sometimes the cost isn’t money as much as it is time or change). 

Partnership is where you invite people to participate in the vision. This is where it becomes a shared vision. And as the leader, you must lead the way in what you’re asking people to do. 

Let me wrap up with one simple tip that I’ve found makes a big difference. When I do a vision casting talk, I always manuscript it. Manuscripting the vision helps me clearly articulate each of the five stages of vision casting. Furthermore, it helps me transition smoothly from one stage to the next, and it ensures the vision casting has substance, not hype. Substance creates security in the vision casting process. As you follow this five-step process, you’ll see the greatest buy-in to the vision God has given you for the future.

If you haven’t subscribed to the Leader Fluent Podcast, you can do so today on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, Android, Pandora or your favorite podcast platform. Plus, a RATING or REVIEW will help us spread the word to other leaders. Thanks for your help. 

In today’s episode of the Leader Fluent Podcast, I’m talking about “The 5 Faces of Pride in Leadership.” Humility is often the forgotten ingredient in effective leaders, but it is essential to the health of our soul and the health of our leadership. 

If you’re not already a subscriber, I’d love for you to subscribe to Leader Fluent today on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, Android, Pandora, or your favorite podcasting platform. And as always, your RATINGS and REVIEWS are deeply appreciated. 

Proverbs 16:18 says, “Pride goes before destruction, and haughtiness before a fall.” Pride is destructive to our souls, but the destruction doesn’t end there. Pride is also destructive to our leadership. In other words, when we’re prideful, we not only undermine our own lives, but we undermine those we influence. So, what does pride look like in leadership? A closer look at the Pharisees in Matthew 23 reveals five faces of pride in leadership. 

In Matthew 23:1-3 Jesus said, “The teachers of religious law and the Pharisees are the official interpreters of the law of Moses. So practice and obey whatever they tell you, but don’t follow their example. For they don’t practice what they teach.” And in the remainder of this chapter, Jesus calls the Pharisees as hypocrites six times. Pretending says, “Do as I say not as I do.” 

Matthew 23:4 says, “They crush people with unbearable religious demands and never lift a finger to ease the burden.” What were these “unbearable religious demands” that Jesus was referring to? It wasn’t God’s Law. It was the 613 laws the Pharisees added to God’s Law. So, you can only imagine how the Pharisees felt when Jesus came along and simplified everything down to only two Laws: Love God and Love People. 

But that wasn’t good enough for the Pharisees because their pride had blinded them. And as a result, their pride was causing them to abuse their power to get people to obey all of their man-made laws. Whereas the “Pretender” face of pride says, “Do as I say not as I do,” the “Power” face of pride says, “Do as I say, or else…” The “Power” face of pride is based on self-serving, fear-based demands. But that’s not what a spirit of humility does. 

Perception is all about how I see myself, and, how I think others see me. So, how does a prideful person see themselves? They see themselves as better than everyone else. Matthew 23:5 says, “Everything they do is for show. On their arms they wear extra wide prayer boxes with Scripture verses inside, and they wear robes with extra long tassels.” Perception says, “Look at me. Aren’t I great?”

The reason perception is such a deceptive face of pride is because it’s not based on reality. Instead, it’s based on a version of ourselves that only exists in our heads. And in our heads, we think we’re bigger and better than we really are. 

We love perks, don’t we? We love to be escorted to the seat of honor. We love to show our friends our awards, prizes, and possessions. We love to casually mention in conversation that our office is in the C-Suite. Perks and privileges make us feel important. But the moment perks make us feel important, is also the moment our identity has been stolen from us. Because if who you are is based on what you have, then your life has become a hollow shell of deception. 

Jesus said, “And they love to sit at the head table at banquets and in the seats of honor in the synagogues” (Matthew 25:6). Perks says, “I deserve it, and I’m entitled to it.”

Now, does that mean that all perks are wrong? No. But, because perks have a way of making us feel like we deserve them and we’re entitled to them, we need a filter for our perks. My friend Steve Moore developed a great filter for perks when he developed these five questions.

Those are great questions to ask when it comes to any perks we might receive in leadership. And that brings us to the last face of pride in leadership.

Jesus said, “They love to receive respectful greetings as they walk in the marketplaces, and to be called ‘Rabbi.’ “Don’t let anyone call you ‘Rabbi,’ for you have only one teacher, and all of you are equal as brothers and sisters. And don’t address anyone here on earth as ‘Father,’ for only God in heaven is your spiritual Father. And don’t let anyone call you ‘Teacher,’ for you have only one teacher, the Messiah” (Matthew 23:7-10). 

Position says, “I’m more important than you because my position is higher than yours.” Gerald Brooks offers a better perspective when he says, “The higher up you go in leadership, the less you get to think about yourself.”And C.S. Lewis said, “A proud man is always looking down on things and people; and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you.” 

Whichever face of pride it is—and we all struggle with at least one of them—let Jesus redefine your leadership with a different approach. Immediately following this description of pride exhibited by the Pharisees, Jesus says this in Matthew 23:11-12:  “The greatest among you must be a servant. But those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.

We all struggle with pride, but Jesus makes it clear what defines true greatness. True greatness is defined by humility, and our commitment to serve others.

If you haven’t subscribed to the Leader Fluent Podcast, you can do so today on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, Android, Pandora or your favorite podcast platform. Plus, a RATING or REVIEW will help us spread the word to other leaders. Thanks for your help. 

In today’s episode of the Leader Fluent Podcast, I’m talking about “Seven Words of Wisdom for Graduates.” The graduation season is a great time of celebration, but as you enter into a new chapter of your life, I’d love to share seven practical insights that will help you succeed in the future. 

If you’re not already a subscriber, I’d love for you to subscribe to Leader Fluent today on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, Android, Pandora, or your favorite podcasting platform. And as always, your RATINGS and REVIEWS are deeply appreciated. 

After celebrating your graduation, let me encourage you to take to heart seven practical and helpful words of wisdom. 

Be careful not to sacrifice your character on the altar of achievement and results. In other words, don’t take shortcuts that ding your character. Ruth Haley Barton once said, “We set young leaders up for a fall if we encourage them to envision what they can do before they consider the kind of person they should be.” So, what kind of person do you want to be? Work hard to cultivate character so that your success doesn’t outpace who you are.

Authors James Kouzes and Barry Posner call learning the “Master Skill.” In other words, it’s the skill that makes all other skills possible. Learning is the skill that opens the door to future opportunities, future growth, and ultimately the person you want to become. Today might be the day you graduate school, but the day you graduate learning should be the day you draw your last breath. Do your future a favor and be a lifelong learner. 

Success is usually perceived as a glamorous, adventure-filled road of glory, but it’s easy to forget that most overnight successes are actually twenty years in the making. Unfortunately, we tend to see the beauty of success but never the boredom of success.

So, what’s my point? Behind the glitz and glamour of successful people is usually a very routine, even at times very boring, set of disciplines. Let me say it another way: riveting success is always preceded by routine boredom. In other words, before success ever shows up, there are days, weeks, months, and even years of disciplined, step-by-step, methodical, vanilla, bland routines. 

Think about it—professional golfers spend hours every day on the golf course…when the cameras aren’trolling. Musicians spend countless hours practicing…before a single concert ticket is ever sold. CEO’s spend untold hours in long meetings making tough decisions…before the bottom line ever shows a profit. And authors agonize over every chapter and go through endless rounds of edits…before a single copy of their book hits the shelves.

That’s the boredom of success. But it’s worth it. It makes the success sweeter, and it helps us develop the character necessary to sustain the success. Boredom is part of the journey. So, rather than getting caught up in looking successful, pursue the boredom of success by establishing daily disciplines that will produce long-term health in key areas of your life.

While there are all kinds of bad attitudes, let me mention just three of them that can be particularly disruptive to your future. 

If you avoid these bad attitudes, you will go farther, faster. If you have a positive attitude, you’ll connect better with people and you’ll be positioned with the mindset to see and seize the opportunities before you. 

All of us will have both successes and failures in life. Nobody is all success and zero failure or all failure and zero success. So, here’s the truth you must keep in mind: Don’t let success go to your head, and don’t let failure go to your heart. Don’t’ let success inflate your ego, and don’t let failure define you. As you move into a new season of life, you will experience both success and failure. That’s part of the journey. The difference-maker is how you respond when success and failure come. Celebration and humility are great responses to success. And reflection and learning are great responses to failure. 

Some people are extremely smart in school but extremely dumb with people. They’ve got the book smarts, but they haven’t learned how to work with people. They lack emotional intelligence, the ability to build trust, and the skills to make people feel valued. 

Please hear this: your book smarts might get you hired, but your inability to connect with people will get you fired. In fact, attitude issues and poor people skills are among the top reasons people lose their jobs. To become people smart, start with three things: 1) Control your emotions. 2) Cultivate an empathetic heart. 3) Develop a listening ear. Those three things will take you a long way with people. 

Graduating school is a transition point where we leave the familiarity of school and step into a new job, or a new role, or even a new degree program that requires a higher level of discipline and hard work. And it’s in transition moments like these that we have to learn to trust God more. 

Proverbs 3:5-8 says, “Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he’s the one who will keep you on track. Don’t assume that you know it all. Run to God! Run from evil! Your body will glow with health, your very bones will vibrate with life!” (MSG). 

Congratulations to all of our graduates. I hope these words help you make the next chapter in your life wildly successful.

If you haven’t subscribed to the Leader Fluent Podcast, you can do so today on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, Android, Pandora or your favorite podcast platform. Plus, a RATING or REVIEW will help us spread the word to other leaders. Thanks for your help. 

In today’s episode of the Leader Fluent Podcast, I’m talking about “Leading When You Feel Like a Failure.”The last two years have been the most difficult years to lead through for millions of leaders, and if we’re honest, we’ve all had moments in this season where we’ve felt like a failure. The question is, how do we lead in those moments. That’s what we’re dealing with in today’s episode. 

Plus, if you haven’t picked up my new book, Stop Chasing Easy, I’d like to encourage you to get your copy today. It’s available in print and ebook formats, and when you purchase a copy, you’ll also gain access to several FREE BONUS RESOURCES including the “Stop Chasing Easy Masterclass for Leaders.” 

If you’re not already a subscriber, I’d love for you to subscribe to Leader Fluent today on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, Android, Pandora, or your favorite podcasting platform. And as always, your RATINGS and REVIEWS are deeply appreciated. 

Every leader has moments and seasons when they feel like a failure. It might be after an event that didn’t go as planned. It might be after a speech that fell flat. It might be during an extended season of decline, or maybe after a major rift in your organization. 

Regardless of the area, I’m guessing at some point in recent weeks, months, or years, you’ve experienced “down and to the left” instead of “up and to the right.” So, what do you do in these moments? When you feel like a failure—even if only for a moment—how do you lead? Consider these five keys. 

It’s very easy—especially in leadership—to attach our identity to our performance and to our growth. The problem is, if we’re not careful, we’ll assume that God uses that same standard—that same measure—to evaluate us. 

Over the last few weeks, I’ve been studying God’s love in Scripture, which has been a pretty amazing journey. The most common description of God’s love in the Bible is the phrase, “unfailing love.” For example, Psalm 36:7 says, “How priceless is your unfailing love, O God! People take refuge in the shadow of your wings.” And Psalm 52:8 says, “But I am like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God; I trust in God’s unfailing love for ever and ever.” 

Here’s the good news: God’s love does not fail, even when we do. His love doesn’t fall short, break, or run dry. It is an everlasting love that stretches from generation to generation. And, as difficult as it is to believe, our performance has nothing to do with how much God loves us. 

In fact, consider Jesus, for example. Luke 3:21-22 says, “When all the people were being baptized, Jesus was baptized too. And as he was praying, heaven was opened and the Holy Spirit descended on him in bodily form like a dove. And a voice came from heaven: “You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased.”

Notice, the Father declared His love for the Son before Jesus every performed a single miracle. In other words, the Father’s love wasn’t based on Jesus’ performance. His love wasn’t dependent on whether or not Jesus had a big crowd or a fruitful day of ministry. The Father loved Jesus, and was pleased with Jesus, before his ministry ever began. The same is true for you and for me. Our identity must be firmly rooted in the unwavering love of God. So, remember, even when you feel like a failure, your failure doesn’t define you. Jesus’ love does. 

Dr. Bobby Clinton has observed that the difference between followers and leaders is perspective. And the difference between leaders and better leaders is greater perspective. In other words, how we see life will determine how we respond to life. And how we see our leadership challenges will determine how we respond to those leadership challenges. 

Elisabeth Elliot once said, “If you believe in a God who controls the big things, you have to believe in a God who controls the little things. It is we, of course, to whom things look ‘little’ or ‘big’.” So, when we face “big” or “small”, or “easy” or “hard,” we have to reframe those things with a perspective that nothing is too difficult for God. Only then will we respond properly to our hardships and our failures. 

When drastic changes occur in our environment, it often requires us to redefine success. I think we’ve all had to come to grips with this during COVID. COVID thrust us into an unpredictable environment that turned many of our measures upside down.

So, how do we redefine measures of success? One way is to start tracking “lead measures” not just “lag measures.” 

The Franklin Covey organization observes that when it comes to lag measures, “They are called lags because by the time you see them, the performance that drove them has already passed. You can’t do anything to fix them; they are history.” But Lead measures, on the other hand, “track the critical activities that drive or lead to the lag measure.” 

So, for example, if you have a goal to lose 20 pounds, when you stand on the scale, you’ll see your lag measure. No matter what that measure says when you stand on the scale, there’s nothing in that moment you can do to change that measure. It’s history. 

But what you can do is control the lead measures. For example, you can start counting calories. You can start working out several days a week. Those are activities you can control which will eventually LEAD to a different LAG measure. 

Sometimes we can feel like a failure because something we tried actually failed. Those moments—as hard as they can be—are actually opportunities to reflect on what has happened and then make a conscious decision to learn from it. In fact, one of the biggest keys for a leader’s long-term growth is to embrace a willingness to learn, unlearn, and relearn. 

Learning gets you started in life. It helps you become successful. But somewhere along the way, the things you’ve learned can actually get in the way. In other words, they can become your ceiling. In those moments, you might have to unlearn a strategy or method that once worked but has now become a barrier to growth and progress. 

When you feel like a failure, take an hour or two to pull back, reflect on your situation, and determine if there’s something you need to unlearn and then relearn. That’s when you’ll discover the gold hidden in your failure. 

One of the concerns I have is that after more than two years of being in a pandemic, so many leaders have stopped dreaming. Their imagination has been so clouded by what has been, that they’ve haven’t reimagined what could be. 

What was doesn’t have to define what will be. In other words, yesterday’s failure doesn’t have to dictate the future. So, if that’s where you find yourself today, let me give you an exercise that might help you. 

Imagine that you never worked where you work right now—whether it’s a church, business, or organization. Then, imagine that same church, business, or organization interviews you for a job, and then offers you the job. Now, imagine your excitement. You go home and tell your spouse, or your friends, or your neighbor and you can’t wait until you start. 

Between the day you were offered the job and your first day on the job, what are you doing? You’re dreaming about everything you’re going to do at that job. You’re dreaming about the difference you’re going to make in that organization. Why? Because you have no past in that job to hold you back. You have a clean slate. You have a fresh start. In other words, you have a dreamer’s mindset. 

Here’s my point: You might need to mentally resign from your job, then rehire yourself, and then walk into the office Monday morning with a dreamer’s mindset. That might sound strange, but think about it like this. 

During the great resignation, millions of people have left their jobs for a wide variety of reasons. But some people who had been in the organization for several years left because what they lost made it too painful to stay. In other words, almost overnight, they watched years and years of progress evaporate, and the thought of spending years to rebuild just to get back to where they were was simply too painful. Instead, they went somewhere else where they had no history to remind them of what they lost. As a result, they were able to start with a clean slate and dream again.

So, here’s my challenge to you: If you feel like you’re failing, don’t quit. Instead, rehire yourself, and start Monday morning with a dreamer’s mindset. In fact, you might need to start your first day on the job with a personal retreat where you reimagine what could be. It’s time to dream again. It’s time to reimagine the future. 

You’re not a failure, even when your feelings tell you otherwise. Instead, you are loved, and God will give you the strength and grace to lead through difficult seasons.

Check out my new book, Stop Chasing Easy, and access the FREE bonus content. You can learn more about the book, purchase a copy, and then claim the bonus content HERE. 

If you haven’t subscribed to the Leader Fluent Podcast, you can do so today on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, Android, Pandora or your favorite podcast platform. Plus, a RATING or REVIEW will help us spread the word to other leaders. Thanks for your help. 

In today’s episode of the Leader Fluent Podcast, I’m talking about “Five Parts of an Effective Team Meeting.” No matter where you are in the organization, you likely lead meetings with staff members or volunteers. In this episode, you’ll learn how to lead effective meetings by incorporating five practical parts. 

Plus, if you haven’t picked up my new book, Stop Chasing Easy, I’d like to encourage you to get your copy today. When you do, you’ll also gain access to several FREE BONUS RESOURCES including the “Stop Chasing Easy Masterclass for Leaders.” 

If you’re not already a subscriber, I’d love for you to subscribe to Leader Fluent today on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, Android, Pandora, or your favorite podcasting platform. And as always, your RATINGS and REVIEWS are deeply appreciated. 

The longer you lead, the more you’ll find yourself in meetings. They might be staff meetings, departmental meetings, board meetings, one-on-one meetings, or meetings with your volunteers, but there is never a shortage of meetings for leaders to attend. 

At the same time, we’ve all found ourselves in meetings that were poorly led and a total waste of our time. And if we’re honest, we’ve probably led a few of those meetings as well. I know I certainly have. So, what does an effective team meeting look like? I believe it includes five parts. 

The first part of the meeting is focused on celebrating wins. Celebrating wins will remind your team of the value and meaning of their work. Think about wins in four categories: 

These four areas—stories, stats, steps, and success—provide a framework to help your team think more wholistically about wins in your organization. In general, this part of the meeting usually lasts 5-10 minutes…maybe longer if you’re coming off a really big church-wide or organization-wide win. 

There are usually a few housekeeping items that need to be communicated during a team meeting. For example, you might do a quick review of the calendar, or you might provide a few quick details on an upcoming event that are relevant to the entire team. 

The communication part of the meeting is usually no more than 10 minutes, but it can eliminate confusion and keep everyone on the same page. The key to remember about communication is that it’s not a discussion. Instead, it’s providing simple bullet-point updates. 

Collaboration is the part of the meeting where you dig into items that require concentrated discussion. For example, you might collaborate on an upcoming event, discuss a staff-wide goal, or brainstorm a new initiative. In general, the collaboration part of the meeting is roughly 20-40 minutes long. If it’s going to take longer than that, I’ll usually schedule a separate meeting for it. 

We have a high value for personal growth, and so we’ll often include coaching in our team meetings. By coaching, I’m referring to any kind of training or reading that’s focused on staff development. For example, we might read a book together as a staff, and then discuss a couple of chapters each week during our meeting. Or we might watch a leadership video from a great speaker and then discuss it as a team. Or I might do a leadership teaching with our staff on a topic that would be helpful. The coaching part of the meeting is usually 20-40 minutes, depending on what approach we’re taking to staff development. 

This part of the meeting can play out in two ways—spiritual connection and relational connection. Spiritual connection is where we take time to pray as a team. Relational connection is where you take a few minutes to add a fun or relationally focused discussion to the meeting. You might even do a team lunch following the meeting to facilitate greater connection. 

Celebration, communication, collaboration, coaching, and connection are key parts to an effective team. If you are meeting weekly, you may choose not to include all five elements, but in general, these keys keep the meeting productive and fruitful. 

Check out my new book, Stop Chasing Easy, and access the FREE bonus content. You can learn more about the book, purchase a copy, and then claim the bonus content HERE. 

If you haven’t subscribed to the Leader Fluent Podcast, you can do so today on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, Android, Pandora or your favorite podcast platform. Plus, a RATING or REVIEW will help us spread the word to other leaders. Thanks for your help.