Check out the full post today's episode:  http://www.jairekrobbins.com/the-key-difference-between-dreamers-and-achievers/

 

Hello!

We are back from a fun weekend house hunting in Miami! We enjoyed our time and totally enjoyed the vibe and energy of the city! We also got to tour some amazing properties, like the one above! Talk about #GOALS!

 

As we look to make this change, planning comes to the forefront of our minds. I've said it over and over - Your Dream life does not happen by accident.

With that being said.. What is your performance plan? 

 

In this week's Vlog, we dive into the key difference between those who achieve their dream and those whose remains just that.. a dream!

***Pardon the audio on this one. #learninglesson ***

Check it out and if you want support and accountability in making that dream happen, register for a 30-minute discovery session with one of our Performance Coaches! 

 

To your success,

 

Jairek Robbins

Best Selling Author of LIVE IT! Achieve Success By Living With Purpose

Decorated Performance Coach & World Renowned Speaker

Today we sit down with one of our featured Performance Coach University expert’s Mr. Roberto Monaco of http://influenceology.com/Let me give you some background. When I first starting my coaching and speaking career, I worked and practiced on my presentation over and over again. It was pretty good, or so I thought. Then one day, Roberto, a long-time friend of mine, sat me down. He said, you’re so close. You’re very very close. You know what’s missing. What will take you from just another aspiring speaker and coach to a true influencer, someone who makes a real difference in someone’s life? The audience needs more of YOUR stories. Check out the full post and get the notes from today's interview here: http://www.jairekrobbins.com/learning-to-influence-through-storytelling/

Check out this week's full episode here: http://www.jairekrobbins.com/1-question-that-leads-to-real-results/

 

Hello!

Thank you for checking out another episode of JRCtv!

We are excited to share with you this week that we are transitioning to a new look and feel.

Amanda and I want to be able to share more of our life with you and give you a peak into our daily routine so moving forward we will be sharing with you Vlog Style! In the coming weeks, we will have new interviews, resources and awesome new experiences to share.

That’s not the only thing new coming, if you are not already, be sure to follow us on Facebook as we have some exciting giveaways happening in the coming weeks! Follow, Like and Stay tuned!

Today we are packing up and heading to St. Louis to film with Shawn Stevenson author of Sleep Smarter: 21 Essential Strategies to Sleep Your Way to a Better Body, Better Health, and Bigger Success! Looking forward to sharing this experience with you soon.

Until then, check out today’s episode where I dive into the one question you need to be asking yourself to ensure you achieve the results you are looking for in life, business, relationships and your physical goals.

 

To Your Success,

 

Jairek

Check out this week full episode and transcription here:http://www.jairekrobbins.com/interview-negotiation-skills-from-former-fbi-agent-chris-voss/

 

Prefer to read? No Problem. Check out this week's episode transcription here:

 

Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode of JRCtv. If you’re listening to the podcast or watching this video, Hello.  We have a very special guest joining us, I just finished listening to his book which is awesome, if you’re watching it’s called NEVER SPLIT THE DIFFERENCE, you can see it right over his shoulders there which is awesome, this is Mr. Chris Voss, he’s the CEO and founder of The Black Swan LTD Group or The Black Swan Group is the better way to say it.  His 24 years experience in the FBI and was former FBI lead international kidnapping negotiator, he’s a speaker which I’ll tell you where we first run into each other as well as adjunct professor and consultant.  I believe you’re a professor at Harvard and also USC?

 

CV: “Well I did, Harvard several years ago but these days, USC University of Southern California for all you people in the Southeast and Georgetown University in Washington, DC.”

JR: “Wonderful! Well thank you for joining us and thank you for sharing some of your wisdom and experience with everyone today in advance.”

CV: “Hey man, I am flattered, I am honored to be on with you. It’s very cool, I am glad we crossed paths again.”

JR: “Yeah I am excited, speaking of which the first time we cross paths, I believe was in Philly.”

CV: “It was in Philly, yeah in an event Carolyn put on.”

JR: “Yeah and we were both speaking there and we had I think it was a 4-hour conversation that night, hanging out, talking with everybody.”

CV: “yeah it was a lot of fun.”

JR: “I don’t know and I apologize, I don’t know why it took me so long to read your book.”

CV: “It took me a while to get the book out so that’s okay.”

JR: “Fair enough, fair enough I finally got my hands on it, I went through the whole book, and I mean I wish I can just hit instant download and put this in everybody’s playbook except for the people we negotiate with because obviously, it’s a little better for us to know it than them.  About one thing you said that’s really interesting is in the negotiation itself, we’ll get to some tactics  but I wanna share about you first, but in the negotiation itself it’s not you versus them as much as it’s you both trying to solve the problem at hand and I think a lot of people including myself when stuff gets tense when stuff gets interesting a lot of times that initial you know adversary thought process comes out. So I want to talk about that maybe towards the end we’ll talk about how to make that adjustment for people but for right now, I’d love to just tell about you, like how did you get into this for those listening and watching.”

CV: “Yeah you know just one thing after another out of left field. Which I think you know everybody’s life as it takes its path. I never planned of being an FBI agent probably didn’t even think about it until about 10 or 11 months before I was looking at to become an FBI agent and then like I was a SWAT guy, you know before I went to the FBI I was a police officer at Kansas City Missouri Police Department. Very good police department, wonderful charming, wonderful city.  And then the FBI thing comes up, I head in that direction, I was on a SWAT team, to me some of the best things that have happened to me in my life as a result of something it would be perceived as negative and so I reinjured my knee.  I tore ligaments in my knee because when I was in college I fancied myself as sort of the Caucasian Bruce Lee  (laughs). I wanted to be in the martial arts and I thought that would help me with the police department, blew the knee out. Blew it out again trying out for the  FBI’s hostage rescue team, the FBI’s version of the navy seal. A bunch of the HRT guys are former seals, former delta guys and then before I wanted to completely destroy my knee

Download the worksheet that goes along with today episode here: http://www.jairekrobbins.com/how-to-fail-your-way-to-success/

 

 

Hey there welcome back to another episode of JRCtv, this week we’re talking about how to fail your way to success. 

 

Now when talking about failure there’s three things that will teach you some of the most important lessons in life.  A hungry stomach, an empty wallet, and a broken heart.  Now I know that’s very motivating and exciting to start this week’s episode with but there’s truth in that.  If you’ve ever had a moment, I remember you know one time when I was in college I came home to my apartment and I checked the mail and I have a bunch of bills and I checked the bank account and there was a lot more bills than money in the bank account. 

 

And I remember being like “Oh no!” and it wasn’t like a little bit off, it was like $50 compared to $2,000 off.  It was like “oh” and there was no feasible income coming in the range these bills were due.  Now I remember literally like having my stomach turn upside down, butterflies in my chest being like, “Oh shoot”, I really messed this one up this month. 

 

And you know that will teach you a lesson like anything else, it’ll teach you how to prepare for the future.  It’ll teach you how to organize yourself, it’ll teach you how to really make sure you don’t do that again hopefully, not everyone learns a lesson the first time. Not only that, I remember there are times in my life where you know I hate to bring these memories up but I’m, sure you’ve had your time to where you had a heartbreak. 

 

You know I remember in high school crying myself to sleep and waking up still feeling sad because I broke up with a girlfriend at that time and it was pretty heartbreaking and sad at that time but I remember learning from that experience.  I’m trying to figure out you know, what happened, what did I really learned in that process?  How can I grow from this?  How can I improve the next time around and make sure it doesn’t hurt as bad that time or a way to make sure I am better prepared from what might occur. 

 

So there’s questions you can ask that can prepare you and we’re gonna put some of those in today’s download we wanna make sure you grab them and then finally, you know… a hungry stomach I know I’ve had days and times and luckily thank goodness, knock on wood I grew up in a very privileged position where both of my parents worked extremely hard in different ways and make sure that I never had nights where I’d go to bed hungry but I know all around the world there’s places where people do have that and then those nights where there are no food.

I remember one of my closest friends in San Diego he told me “You know some of the biggest lessons I learned is when I was 13 years old walking around town, dude a dollar would have changed my life on that day.” 

and I said, “What do you mean?”

he’s like, “I just want a burrito and I’m pretty sure I could get one in a store for a dollar and I just didn’t have a dollar”

and I said, “ What did you learn from it?”

and he said “ You know, I learned I had to be hungry in life”  (laughs)

and I said, “ No what does that really mean to you? “

and he said, “ I learned to be hungry enough, to work hard enough to never have a day in my life again that I’ll ever have to have that feeling in my stomach ever again and hopefully work hard enough that no one that I care about will have to have that feeling either.”

And I was like “Wow!”

 

So what’s interesting about this is looking at this moment of “failure” when things don’t work out, when things fall apart, when things aren’t going the way you want, there’s one key consistent element in all these stories that allow it to serve you instead of break you.  And the one key element is something that an author of the book called, MINDSET, her name is Carol Dweck, she’s a researcher and she found out, there’s something called a “growth mindset”. 

 

Now in today’s download, we’re

Grab the worksheet that goes along with this week's episode here: http://www.jairekrobbins.com/create-a-deeper-more-meaningful-relationship/

 

Hey there welcome back to another episode of JRCTV.

 

Yes we are still in beautiful Vail, Colorado as you can see the beautiful, epic scenery behind us.  Today we’re talking about something that can literally be a making point or breaking point of any relationship you’re in. 

 

We’re gonna focus on intimate relationships because it’s important but you can use this concept for a business relationship, friendship, or you know just an acquaintance, or you can use it for even getting to know your kids or family better and someway shape or form and what we’re talking about is the ability to be deeply and profoundly curious about the person that you’re in a relationship with.  What does that mean? 

 

Well, what it means is you wanna get to know what is their blueprint, meaning their thoughts, their beliefs, their values, the organizing principle and pillars by which they live their life.  Here’s what’s wild, most of us are not really that aware consciously of our own belief system, our own organizing foundational principles, and pillars.  How do I know that? Because if I were to say what’s most important do you have in life? 

 

You might say?  “Okay, okay now you might come to that, what else is most important to you in life? Now if you are to take the one or two, here’s my question, when did you consciously decide that and what point in your life did you sit down and say, okay here’s all my options and everything I could value. 

 

I could value love, I could value spirituality, I could value God, I could value giving, I could value being successful, I could value being a good person, I could value making a difference, being strong, being powerful, I could value all kind of stuff, I’m going to choose this one.  When did you do that last?

 

Now for some of you, you might have done it but for most of you, I’m gonna say you never consciously made the decision.  You’re living by default.  Meaning you’re community, your friends, your family, where you grew up, who you hang up with, where you worked, a mentor, someone you look up to, told you something and you were “Oh yeah, that’s right”  and now you’re just living by default instead of by choice.

 

So right now what I want you  to do is first, download today’s worksheet we’re giving you a handful of questions on the majors of life something we talked about in our book ‘Live It! Achieve Success by Living with Purpose’, in chapter two and three we talked about the majors of life , health, emotions, relationships, spirituality, business, finances, your time management,  relationships, community, the major elements of life and in this worksheet today that we’re gonna give you on the blog jairekrobbins.com/blog,check out this blog, download the worksheet when you get it  it’s gonna have a couple of questions in each section not all of them but a couple to help you get a head start and it’s gonna help you to find what you really believe and what you really value in each of this major categories on life. 

 

Now I want you to start by first answering the questions yourself and then I want you to go to someone you care about, your significant other, your spouse, your kids, your family, your friends, your co-workers maybe even your business partner or associates possibly a client, someone you wanna get to know better and I want you to have them answer the questions as well. 

 

Then after they answer and after you answer the questions separately share them with each other I want you to become curious about what they believe that’s number step 1.  So step 1 is defining yourself.  Step 2 share with each other and then here’s step 3, I want to have you dig deep into why they believe that and I want you to help define when did they start believing that.

 

This will help you create a tighter bond with each other and so the very first step is to s

Download the worksheet that goes with today's episode here: http://www.jairekrobbins.com/how-to-stop-fear-in-its-tracks/

 

Hey there welcome back to another episode of JRCTV. 

 

As you can see we’re in beautiful Vail, Colorado check out that scenery back there pretty fantastic.  Today we’re talking about something that I learned when I was really little trying to learn how to snowboard.  I have an amazing father who believes the best way to break though fear is to feel the fear and do it anyways. 

 

And so when I was little kid I’ll tell you a quick story to set this off.  When I was little kid I remember going up to the top of the mountain with my dad cause his philosophy was the best way to teach your child how to turn on a snowboard is to take them to the steepest part of the mountain because you have to turn otherwise you roll down the hill. 

 

Let’s just say I rolled down the hill a few times because I was afraid of turning and when that fear ended up my body at that moment of my life I was not good at what I’m about to teach you.  At that moment of my life I cried, I gave up, and dad and I ended up at some pretty bad shouting matches at top of the mountain about; “I’m gonna go down the hill.” “No, I’m not.”

 

So, it’s an interesting memories here on the slopes but it also taught me something that later in life. Now I’ve learn to be used as an incredible asset. It’s something I wanna share with you.  The concept when fear takes over in your body we can measure this nowadays and the best way to measure if you are in a fearful place is based on your breathing pattern. 

 

I’ll tell you number one breath pattern that tells you that are in fearful state,

You’re not breathing.  If you catch yourself holding your breath and thinking about everything that might go right or wrong in the next 10 minutes in your freaking about it, you’re in a fearful state.  You’re body’s going in a fight or flight.

 

Really rapidly breathing, you’re like (panting) if you’re freaking out like that you’re having a panic attack and it feels like that on your breath obviously that’s putting you into a fearful state or an erratic state which is not gonna help you focus or feel strong or confident in that moment. You know there a few other patterns but those two are the main ones, if you’re holding your breath or if your breath pattern is out of control. 

 

 

Now, when that happens, you’re body’s going to fight or flight or a light level of shock and as that’s happening there are few things that are going on into your physical body.  Your muscles tighten; your body starts to break down fuel faster so you have energy, that you can propel yourself to either fight like heck or run like heck, it’s fight or flight. 

 

For men, we lose our peripheral vision, meaning we start to have tunnel vision and everything out here disappears so that we can laser focus on what we either you attack or run from.  Now the other thing that happens is our eyes really focus, they get really it’s not that it, but they start to focus really strongly so we can clearly see where we need to go or where we need to run from. 

 

And so it is wild on this concept is we lose our ability to use our executive functioning part of our brain which is the logical, decision-making part of our brain.  So, here’s what I’m gonna tell you to do, whenever you get in to a fearful state, I wish someone would have taught me this crying and sitting on my butt on top of the mountain back in the days, but I gotta tell you now so you can save yourself from the pain, the frustration, and those moments I’ve been through.

 

Whenever you feel yourself getting in to fearful state your breath patterns becomes erratic and then you start holding your breath and get really intense, all of a sudden you seem to not being able to think clearly and you’re kinda lost, your scattered in those moments is a signal that the very first thing you need to do is STOP.

 

STOP! Take a step back and literally assess th

Download the worksheet that goes with today's episode here: http://www.jairekrobbins.com/how-to-apologize-like-you-mean-it/

 

Hey there welcome back to another episode of JRCTV.

 

Today we are talking about those moments where you messed up and you know you did and you have to apologize.  We’re talking about how to apologize in a way it’ll actually be received really, well specifically in a relationship. One of the number one most important don’t ever do's is to say "I’m sorry your feelings are hurt" because in that moment if you did something and you need to apologize, when you say "I’m sorry your feelings are hurt", what you’re basically telling the other person is you’re not taking responsibility for whatever just happened, that hurt their feelings versus if you say, “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings”.

 

In that moment instead of, "I’m sorry you’re hurt", it’s "I’m sorry I did something to hurt your feelings". In that moment you’re taking responsibility because the number 1 step for an apology is, you have to take responsibility for whatever just happened to help them in that moment understand that you are owning the fact that their feelings are hurt.

 

Now whenever I share this with people a lot of times they tell me something like, “but wait a minute, What if I didn’t do it? What if I didn’t hurt their feelings, what if they’re just being sensitive? What if it wasn’t my fault?”  Well here is the big question, would you rather both be happy or would you rather be right? Because this is a big factor that a lot of people mess up on, and they would say, “I would rather be right and factual”.

 

It’s like “well great, then you deal with someone being unhappy in your life, you deal with the pain, the frustrations, the anger, the upset that’s going to come from this and how many days, weeks, and months it’s going to last again and again and again if you don’t handle it now, versus if you want to handle it right now at this moment. You can literally cap it, let it go away and it’ll never repeat, it’ll never return, it’ll never poke it’s little head out three months from now and say “remember that one time when you did that?”.

 

It’ll be gone it’ll be released from their nervous system.  So if you want the ability to release it so it never comes back ... Number one is: You have to own it  – Step number one: "I’m sorry I hurt your feelings.”

 

Number two:  In that moment, you then have to dig deep and figure out what specifically hurt their feelings, you got to ask... “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings but I’d love to know what happened, what did I do? And if they go “Oh, that ,you know what you did!” in that moment go “ No please, I think I missed it, otherwise I would know what to say, but I’m sorry I hurt your feelings but I’m not sure what did it.  I just to own the fact that I know I did it but what specifically did I do?” and help pinpoint the exact moment, the exact time, the exact word, the exact feeling, the exact look you gave him the exact thing you did or didn’t do that hurt their feelings.

 

And in that moment, again, just won it...don’t rebut, don’t try to say “but I didn’t mean that”  don’t argue it, don’t justify it, don’t do anything except for own it.  And say, "Sorry, wow, okay, I didn’t know that was it, I’m sorry I hurt your feelings when I said that or I did that specifically...will you forgive me?"  And in that moment, if they go “Yeah fine , whatever, you’re forgiven, okay, just leave me alone.” in that moment say “No, I genuinely I would like to own this and I only hope that you would take a moment to actually release and forgive me and if you’re willing that,I’d appreciate it.”

 

And if it’s genuine, and you care, and it’s real in that moment you might allow them to finally release that little piece of anger, or frustration or hurt that hit them, and hopefully, if they can let it out and release it ...it’s gone! And you won’t ever have to do it again, but those are a couple of steps that might help w

Download the worksheet that goes with this week's episode here: http://www.jairekrobbins.com/how-to-let-go-of-the-past/

 

Hey there welcome back to another episode of JRCtv.

 

Today we are talking about the physical, mental, emotional jail that you can lock yourself in by holding a grudge, by holding on to anger, by holding on to anything that you dislike about a person.

 

Something they did in the past, something you thought they might have done a meaning you’ve associated that causing you to be upset, angry, frustrated, jealous, any of these negative emotions and what it’s causing is literally you right there in there to be in pain.

 

And what’s wild about this I’ve heard it said being angry at someone or holding a grudge against someone is the equivalent of drinking poison and hoping for them to die in the process.  It’s crazy and insane.

 

What’s wild about it is the whole concept of when you choose to let it go when you choose to release, to forgive, to finally et go of that anger, frustration, jealousy, upset, whatever it is that you’ve been holding on to.

 

The person that’s freed from the entire experience is you.  It’s not them, it’s not the person you were angry with or upset about.  And believe it or not, holding on to the anger, holding on to the frustration, the tension the jealousy, whatever it is that you’re holding on to they don’t feel any of that.

 

They don’t have the mess up the biochemistry of their body they don’t have their core to soul levels rise they don’t have their heart rate pick up speed, they don’t have their brain to kick in their fly or fight, they don’t have to deal with how you’re choosing to respond to your family, your co-workers, your partners, your friends your community your clients.

 

They’re the one not dealing with all the repercussion of this you are.

 

So I ask you, I beg of you…please make a decision by downloading today’s worksheet writing this up make a decision to first, identify the specific moment of thought of feeling or the specific person the situation, identify what it is that really, truly you’ve been holding on too so tight and ask yourself, why have I really hold on to this?

 

What are your reasons for choosing to hold on so tightly to this rope is burning to your hands causing all the pain in you?  Ask yourself what would happen if I chose to let go of this and free yourself.   From the rope that’s burning your hand from the thought that’s burning your mind, the emotions burning your heart. And ask yourself what freedom will this give you on the other side.

 

The freedom of not having to think about it ever again, the freedom of not having to feel it ever again, the freedom of not having to bring that emotional, mental, chemical cocktail in your body each day that is poisoning you inside out.

 

And finally, ask yourself why are you determined to let this go today.  Not another day, not another moment, not another hour you will not allow this any longer to play a role in tearing you down and make a commitment today and act to move forward.

 

So download today’s worksheet make sure to go through it make that decision and please send us a note and let us know that you’ve done it so we can hold you accountable to freedom within yourself from that which has jailed you , and poisoned you and hurt you for so long but not another day not another not another moment.

 

So please make a decision today to finally cut it off once and for all and choose freedom, choose love, choose joy, choose happiness, choose clarity of mind and choose to really have the  life that you desire on the surface not allowing other people to dictate how you’re feel each day based on soothing that happened a long time or short time ago.

 

So please download today’s worksheet take action, free yourself once and for all and I look forward to seeing you next week for another episode of JRCtv.

 

Until then have an amazing week.

Download the worksheet from today's episode here: http://www.jairekrobbins.com/why-oxytocin-is-important/

 

Hey there! Welcome back to another episode of JRCTV. Today we’re talking about the number one most important factor that can literally keep us alive as a small baby; that can reconnect us in the moments that we feel disconnected or slightly not together with the spouse.

 

It’s something that can calm us after travel or anytime that are let’s say cortisol or nerves or stress is high, can immediately bring that stress down and connect us back to the deepest, most connected part of ourselves.

 

What we’re talking about today is oxytocin or human touch. There’s something called failure to thrive syndrome, which is if you have a small baby and it is not connected to, it is not held within so long literally, it can actually die as an infant which is ridiculous and crazy. But it’s so true.

 

Not only is failure to thrive syndrome in a very small baby but it’s something that many times has been said when we travel, it spikes cortisol levels, which spikes chemical stress inside of our body, makes us tense, kicks us back into the fire flight mode as a human brain is concerned, which means we either attack the ones we love or we run away from a conversation moment.

 

And what’s wild and interesting in that is instead of fighting, instead of freaking out and running away from the distraction and craziness, what’s very interesting and what you can do immediately in that moment is after a long travel time, the first thing that you’re going to want to do is embrace another person.

 

Human touch, connect with them, hug them. Because in that moment, what starts to happen is literally you release massive amounts of oxytocin in your mind, your body, in your blood. And what it does is immediately lowers the cortisol levels and brings your stress down to allow you to reconnect with the logical part of your brain instead of getting caught up in the crazy fire flight moment.

 

So number 1, as babies we need that touch. Number 2, when we’re travelling a lot or when in high stress situations, you want lots of touch and connection to bring down those stress levels. And number 3, in a relationship – this is probably one of the most important ones that I found – is if in a moment you figure out that your partner, your spouse, your lover has a hidden moment where they’re tense, they’re caught off guard, their mind is going everywhere in all directions all at once, and you want to help ground them, to bring them back to this very moment and become present. One thing you can do is just reach out and touch them. And all of a sudden in that moment, you’re human touch, if you as a man reaching to a woman, will become the loudest thing in her world.

 

Meaning, we’re biologically made that when you reach out and touch another person, specifically a woman, what it will cause is her entire nervous system, her entire world, thoughts, emotions, feelings – everything going on – to immediately come to that one thing that’s touching her. The rest of the world will become silent, for just a moment about 30 seconds, for her to connect, figure out what is it that’s touching her, is it safe or not, and give it all her attention all at once in that very moment for about 30 seconds.

 

So gentleman, if you have something very important you want to share with the person you love, one thing you might want to do is first reach out and touch their hand, connect with them physically, and then share what it is that you’d like to share with them. Because in that sharing, they’ll now be able to hear it because everything else in their world will become silent so they can truly connect with what it is you want to share them with.

 

So 3 areas oxytocin is critical: number 1, failure to thrive in infant, holding your small ones. If you find the baby is stressed or tensed or crying, holding them, cuddling them, snuggling them allows that oxytocin to release, which allow