Messy Marriages Podcast

Learn your 'Love Style'

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Learn your Love Style to understand how your childhood experiences inform what you expect from relationships, how you receive and express love, and how you respond to others in stressful interactions. Knowing your Love Style gives you a starting point from which you can grow to become a Secure Connector. 

  • The Avoider-“I like people but I’m not very comfortable when they get emotional or needy around me. I like to keep it simple—it’s so much easier when people just take care of themselves like I do.” 
  • The Pleaser-“I enjoy caring for others and work hard at making those I love happy. I’m not great at saying “No” or keeping boundaries, but anything is better than having people upset with me.” 
  • The Vacillator-“I long for close connection in relationships but people always let me down.
  • The Controller-“I don’t like being outside of my comfort zone, so I always make sure I’m the one in charge. 
  • The Victim-“I keep my needs quiet, and honestly, I’m not even sure what my needs are. It’s safer when I just go with the flow—there’s less opportunity for a blow-up.” 
  • The Secure Connector-“I am comfortable with myself and with others, able to handle conflict, negative emotions, and both giving and receiving. 

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    Messy Marriages PodcastBy Marc Lucas
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