Messy Marriages Podcast

These 3 things held our marriage together. 

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The first step is knowing what you want—what are your values, dreams, priorities and goals? Why do you get out of bed each morning? Who are your most important relationships? What is your purpose, and what makes you feel alive?

Host:  Marc Lucas

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How doe we pursue and prioritize our marriages in the midst of distance, business and children etc.?

Brian and Trista share different ways they prioritized one another in the midst of 4 hours distance apart while working in different cities.

Guest: Brian and Trista-Lynch Black

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Christian Husband & Wives should pay ATTENTION to their Spouses.  A Christian husband/wife should be attentive to his/her spouse. They should always do their best to set aside a substantial amount of time to be with their spouse, enjoy their company, and seek to understand them better. In doing so, we cultivate intimacy and a stronger partnership.  We can grow closer to each other and build a stronger marriage that honors God in all!  (Prov. 5:18–19; Eph. 5:31).

Guest: Jacob Airy

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What does marriage is grace mean?  Grace is not saying the other partner is right. It's not even letting that partner off the hook. Grace is loving someone unconditionally and giving them the benefit of the doubt. It is the ability to love in spite of. Grace is choosing to be devoted even though you know the other spouse wronged you.

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In Luke 9:23–25, Jesus says,

“Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it. What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit their very self?”

Notice that Jesus doesn’t just tell us to deny ourselves for no reason – He ties it directly to our own good. God wants you to deny yourself because, ultimately, that’s the best thing for you. It’s the only way for you to be truly free.

If you follow the world’s advice and “just do you, follow your own truth,” it will not ultimately lead to satisfaction but to suffering. You’ll become a slave to sin, bound to your own selfish desires.

But when you deny yourself and put your life – and your wants – into God’s hands, you’ll be set free.

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My identity was in me, my family and my accomplishments.  I was an athlete, I had charm, an ability to sell ice to Eskimos and a decent brain….

My goal in life was to make my parents proud of me.  Their acceptance of my accomplishments so to speak kept me anchored and is how I experienced love for the majority of my life…

I brought that into our marriage and needless to say it produced major issues.  I’ll be honest it took me 15 years of marriage to realize that my identity wasn’t found in my wife, my kids, my ministry as a pastor at a local church.  I felt I needed desperately to succeed in all areas of my life and became an idol for me….

Failure to receive some form of reciprocation for my efforts led to bouts of resentment….You see this was a symptom of a much bigger issue.  Even though I claimed to know Jesus it wasn’t until recently that I chose to make Him central in my life…

To rest in Him and know that regardless of anything else my identity is sealed in Him and his never failing love for me.

At the end of the day there is such peace and joy in knowing that my identity is secure in Jesus and not any earthly things, including my marriage.

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Marc sits down with Robb Brunasky to discuss some of the common misconceptions we have in our marriages. 

Guest: Robb Brunansky

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The law of partnership means there is equal partnership in the marriage and no one is dominating the other. The fourth law is the law of purity. God created Adam and Eve naked and they were unashamed, until sin entered the picture. As God designed it, marriage is the safest relationship on earth.

Guest: Brandon Mouer 

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