Messy Marriages Podcast

Why do we need patience in our marriages?  God describes "Love as Patient,"  why is patience important and how do we cultivate patience in our marriages?

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Ecclesiastes 9:9 " Enjoy life with the wife you love all the days of your life..."  Are we enjoying life with our spouse?

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A cord of 3 strands.  What does this mean in marriage? 

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12-  "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor:  10 If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.  But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.  11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.  But how can one keep warm alone? 12 Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.  A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."

In the 4 Laws that God gives us for marriage- 

This one ties directly into the law of partnership; ask yourself daily, weekly and monthly are we building a partnership.  Do we support each other?  Lift each other up? Carry the load in the places and ways we can carry the load?

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We have all had disappointments in marriage- unmet expectations plans fall through- unforeseen things are out of your control.  It’s inevitable this will happen but what do we do in these moments?

We will all have negative realities in our marriage….We will have a myriad of emotions in our marriage- from HIGH ENERGY PLEASANT TO HIGH ENERGY UNPLEASANT TO LOW ENERGY UNPLEASANT TO LOW ENERGY PLEASANT- 

WE MUST BE HONEST TO GO WITH OUR EMOTIONS-

I DO A JOURNAL through the Vowels and the U- is unexpressed emotions- The question to ask yourself is ‘Am I holding onto Unexpressed Emotions today?

If I find myself in a rut of that one emotion especially when it is negative then I go to one of my favorite sites “Got Questions” and type in the search bar- Bible verses on ‘Annoyed” first article with solid bible references-

All of this helps us to RESPOND WELL TO NEGATIVE REALITIES- AS WE RESPOND WELL TO NEGATIVE REALITIES IT IS CALLED INTEGRATION

An integrated person is able to handle negative feelings and experiences, including loss, imperfection, failure and rejection.  

That is because integration is the ability to deal with BOTH Positive and Negative Realities

Integration is a key skill that assists in your character structuring.  It helps your process life in an honest way and authentic way. 

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It’s tempting to think that God got it wrong. Is it possible that the wise and sovereign Creator of the universe actually put the cart before the horse?

I’m talking about sanctification and marriage. Wouldn’t it save so much heartache, conflict, hurt, and disappointment if God had fully sanctified us and then called us into loving union with our spouse? Why do we have to marry flawed people during the sanctification process? I don’t know about you, but I would find life a lot more comfortable if Tammy and I lived in a fully sanctified marriage.

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I think the problem with us, human beings—even us, Christian human beings—is that, when we get married—like it or not—we tend to keep a tally sheet in our hand. We’re keeping score as we go. We feel that that is completely legitimate, even though we would—to our dying breath—say, “We love each other incredibly.” 

But because we are keeping score, it’s easy to start to think, “You know, I don’t think they are pulling their part of the deal on this”; or we start a quid pro quo arrangement. This is the antithesis of the way God deals with us. So, all we’re saying, in this message is: “Why don’t we treat our spouse the way God treats His spouse—with grace?”

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We all bring baggage into our marriages; but God's grace is sufficient for us, protects us in our insecurities and also exposes things that need to be uncovered in us.

Guest: Carolyn Drake

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My guests Randy & Cathy Boyd on Messy Marriages.  Randy shares about his affair back in 2004 and how a beautiful thing called forgiveness saved their marriage.  Couples get to walk out forgiveness in their marriage.  When we put in the work and keep God at the center of our marriages we will thrive.  Marriage is not a cake walk and we always need to put in the work required of us.

Guests: Randy & Cathy Boyd

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How we prioritize Spirit, Soul and Body has a catalytic impact on our marriages.

1 Thessalonians 5:23 "Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ."

Guest: Russ Smith

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What is your forbidden fruit in your marriage?  Why it's vitally important to have an awareness on your forbidden fruit? 

Connect with Marc Lucas 

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