Look, you don't want to fall over, do you, especially if you're old and your bones are brittle. Luckily there's plenty of scientific evidence about how to build our strength and balance, and proof that it really works. Adrian Pretorius's work helps to keep hundreds of people out of hospital. He’s got tips, apps, and evidence which will help us to stay upright. And if you do fall over, you don’t want to get stuck on the floor or break something so that we land up in hospital.  Personally, I’m very keen on avoiding that, aren’t you? Adrian has even got advice about that.

New Zealand's Accident Compensation Corporation (ACC) has this goal for New Zealand residents: Live stronger for longer — prevent falls and fractures. Look for the low cost community-run Steady As You Go classes. NYMBL, an ingenious app, is free for all New Zealand residents over 50.

Once last year I just fell over regardless, for no apparent reason, with no obvious cause. I didn't trip, slip, lose my balance, twist or stumble: I just felt as if someone popped the balloon of me and I collapsed. But thanks to one harmless and simple strategy, I fell softly and didn't hurt myself. So of course I asked Adrian to share this message: you can do this too. No guarantee! I'm well aware of that. But once learned, I've never forgotten it and I hope I never do. Fall softly! (After all, that's what children do.) So far, so good.

Here's a very special discussion I recorded a couple of years ago with Judith Fyfe. As a trailblazing oral historian in New Zealand she has vast experience in recording the voices of older people, for example, World War I veterans and our centenarians. As a young journalist and talkback host, Judith Fyfe started to learn the necessary skills of listening with intelligence. Today she is still listening with purpose and empathy in her job as as a forensic lawyer.

Listen carefully to Judith Fyfe, because she shares some fascinating insights, practical and profound. She has a strong sense of just how precious is the sound of very old people speaking — not just the stories they tell but their fascinating use of language and interesting voices. I hope you might be inspired to ask someone old to let you record their stories. It's a very significant work, usually bringing joy to both parties. Also it's so much easier now, starting with a cellphone and a microphone.

But first, listen to Judith's advice. She is terribly modest, but she is the real deal.

I asked about New Year resolutions (if any) from strangers from 24 to 50. I find that we all do this thing (or don't do it) our own way. Your goals may be big or small, general or specific, and you may or may not achieve them. That's fine! New Year is an excellent time to think about your life and what you might like to change. That's valuable, regardless of whether you manage to achieve those changes. Yours is not the unexamined life that Socrates so despised.

But I forgot to ask old people! If you're nearly 70s or older, have you noticed changes in your New Year resolutions as you age? Are your aims and values different? Please do tell!

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Teenage diaries tend to be brave, passionate, exploratory, funny and heartbreaking. Senior diaries enrich your life with the clarity, compassion, and wisdom you have gathered over the decades. Writing a diary in old age is a chance to stretch your mind, express yourself, record events, have fun, and make sense of your life.

Writer-podcaster Tracy Farr co-founded the Bad Diaries Salon and is the author of three novels, including the brilliant Wonderland in 2025. She knows a lot about diaries and aging.

You kept your teenage diary secret for good reason: but a diary at any age brings many rewards. It's a trusted confidant, a creative outlet and a close friend. You wrote it as a strictly one-way communication, but when you're older, you can look back and see that your life has had a shape, a direction. That you have learned a great deal over the decades. And that your young self was not exceptionally foolish, but just, well, young!

You'll hear about Tracy's own long-lived grandparents who were her role models for old age. She talks about eight years of Bad Diaries Salons, where writers read bits from their early diaries. What's the difference between diaries or journals and social media? Who are you writing for and what happens to your diaries when you die?

We talk about Dr James Pennebaker's influential work on expressive writing and how it relates to diary writing. Why and how does this simple 3- or 4-step process help so many people to function well and stay healthy? Pennebaker unpicks the process of writing (as opposed to thinking) for some fascinating answers.

Writing a diary or journal when you're older can help you make sense of your life. You can see development, change, patterns. Perhaps you will see that your life is not just a patchwork of random events, but a story with a theme. And it's not over: senior diaries enrich your life, and it's never too late to start!

Christmas is here now — and almost everywhere around the world. But how have your own celebrations changed over the years? How has your role changed and has your attitude towards Christmas changed? Are you more religious or spiritual now than you were 20 years ago? Why has this particular religious festival gone viral? Why do various non-Christian nations celebrate Christmas with a public holiday? How does Christmas vary in different countries?

Above all, what does Christmas here and now mean to you? I asked random people this question on Cuba Street, Wellington, and they were mostly in agreement — but with some surprises. And of course I have my own opinions.

My big sister Jill Nuthall learned skills as a child that were invaluable in her career as a social worker. To realise just how damn good you were in your long working life: write about it!

She talks about the people-skills she learned as a child, particularly leadership and team work. These big-sister skills were the foundation for what became a fascinating career as a social worker.

Why did Jill enjoy her working life so much? After marrying young, having four children, and living in a stimulating environment in Urbana Illinois, in 1966 Jill became an at-home suburban wife back in Christchurch, Aotearoa New Zealand. Her husband went off to his wonderful job every day and Jill felt stifled and was longing to have her own career. To get a qualification, use her talents, be with grown-ups again. (By the way, that certainly didn't stop her from being a terrific mother and homemaker.) When her youngest started school, she was delighted to be able to start on a long working life.

It was by writing a memoir that Jill calls "A Joyful Working Life" that Jill spotted certain themes that ran through her life. At the time, her career seemed like a patchwork, a crazy quilt. But in retrospect, it had a definite shape.

She recommends that others do the same thing. If you look back and write about your working life, this can help you to understand what skills you have accumulated and to appreciate what you have achieved. It gives your family a record of your working life and can help you to make sense of all those years at work. Win-win!

The episode ends with me reading "A poem for my big sister Jill." I still find it hard to read this one without choking up, and this time I almost made it.

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What springs to mind when you think about love in later life? In this episode, Rhonda Pritchard delivers some salutary truths about love, roles, sex, intimacy, and (especially) commitment as they apply to older people. Rhonda is a Wellington psychologist and counsellor, rather famous for her clear-eyed best seller, Love in the Real World.  Her ideas are based on 40 years' experience as a marriage counsellor, and on her personal experience as a 77-year-old in a long-lasting second marriage. Some of her words may seem blunt — even grim — in a culture that's soaked in red roses and myths of "love is all you need." And yet, In the real world, when you think about relationships in old age, they're just plain common sense.

This delightful conversation dances around a serious topic. Expect the odd personal revelation and even a rare Dad joke from host Rachel. Older couples who have worked things out for themselves will feel validated — and others will pick up some very useful advice. Rhonda gives Rachel five tips to use in the highly unlikely event that she ever falls in love and contemplates a new long-term relationship.

A lively, reassuring chat about how to keep your balance — in body and in life

Physiotherapist Vicki Thirkell and I talk about vertigo, dizziness, and that mysterious loss of balance that creeps up as we age. Vicki explains how our inner ear, vision, hearing, pain, and excessive caution all play a part—and how the brain can be retrained to keep us steady. The message? Don’t freeze up: challenge your balance. Wobbling means you’re improving. “Check your balance” applies to more than walking straight: it’s also about how we age, adapt, and stay ourselves.

When I got an attack of vertigo, It was Vicki who helped me. Then she tackled another of my problems: feeling unsteady on my feet.

Her key message is hopeful and practical: balance can always be improved, at any age, as long as we “do our homework”. That means strengthening our muscles, retraining our brain, and safely challenging our equilibrium—because standing still is no recipe for stability.

“Check your balance” is a phrase that resonates well beyond the physical. Balance involves adjusting, and realigning, in body and in life. Getting the wobbles isn’t failure—it’s a starting point for growth.

Science, exercise, and humour will help us to keep moving confidently through later life.

Do you have problems with your balance? What does that feel like? And how does it affect your life?

In this episode of How To Be Old, I chat with Jo Randerson, playwright, actor, director, and author of Secret Art Powers: How Creative Thinking Can Achieve Radical Change. Through Jo's eyes, we see aging as a continuing creative practice: a chance to notice, laugh, reframe, and stay astonished by the world.

Her five secret art powers are all extremely useful as you get older. Jo says, “The creative approach is to accept the reality that we are in and to find a way to work alongside it that is fun, clear, truthful, frame-changing. [...] How do I make the best of where I am right now?”

Jo raises some crucial questions. As we age, do we get physically and emotionally softer or harder — or both? Feeling invisible because of our age can hurt, but can we make the most of its new  opportunities? Why do we focus on the negative? Why do we need the binary concepts of “old” and “young” when there are so many shades in between? Do the phrases “aging successfully” and “creative aging” make some people feel like failures? And how should I respond to feedback from my children when I start spilling food down my front?

Sometimes I feel like I can do a stealth attack. Because people have already written you off in a way and they go, "There's that older grey lady” — of which I am one — and then people are like "Holy heck, what did you see what that old white lady in the corner did?" Hopefully not something very embarrassing. (Jo Randerson)

Community arts case study: Sing it to My Face

Barbarian. More about Jo Randerson's work

In this beautifully reflective episode, Rachel McAlpine chats with her distinguished guest Lois Daish on food, aging, and how our relationship with food changes as we grow older. Lois Daish is a legendary New Zealand food writer, cook, and culinary guide. From the humble breakfasts of the 1940s to today’s one-pot pasta hacks, this conversation blends memory, practicality, and a deep respect for the rhythms of the body in later life.

Together, Rachel and Lois explore:

Plus slimy porridge, an ode to lettuce, a philosophical giggle about farting, and “Jack Sprat” reinterpreted for modern food trends. That's just a taste of Lois Daish on food!

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