The shouting starts, voices overlapping, and I freeze. I stay quiet hoping not to be noticed. Now, I'm having to unlearn that… A thousand tiny steps, right? It's easier to not say anything, to justify the abuse, to defend those that have hurt me, but repeating traumatic situations because it's familiar in my life can't continue forever. This is how I'm taking small steps towards healing.

Key Takeaways:

[0:00] Giving $13,000 in scholarships

[2:25] Cleaning out dance clothes

[3:41] People want to be seen and heard

[5:33] In conflict, I freeze up and become quiet

[7:58] Why do I defend those who have hurt me by hiding?

[10:28] Repeating the trauma that happened in my childhood

[15:07] Justifying the abuse to make it less painful

[16:14] Not standing up for myself when losing my job

[17:47] Not speaking up enough in the ER with Molly and taking settlement money

[20:01] What trauma bonding actually is and my experience with it

[24:06] I'm not perfect, but I've never hurt someone on purpose

[26:21] Being told I was complacent in my sexual abuse

[29:29] Starting a HYROX training program

Resources:

• Barb Fit

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