To forgive and forget is what we all learned grown up. However, it’s not quite that easy to do, especially when you are dealing with a lot of pain and suffering. Now to forgive is to heal and sometimes holding on to something is so much more painful than letting it go.

There are four stages of forgiveness:

Stage 1- Hurt: Initially you feel hurt and betrayed, and you might even feel some hatred toward the person that hurt you and/or wronged you. If you don’t want this stage to linger, you are going to have to tell that person or those people how you are feeling.

Stage 2- Hate: While hatred isn’t a good thing, it is a natural part of life, that we all experience from time to time. Holding onto this hatred, will only affect us and not the person that hurt us. So, letting it go, will keep it from controlling your life and how you move. Even the Bible tells us to hate the sin and not the sinner.

Stage 3- Hook: In this stage, you are hooked to the power you think you have over the other person. You begin to feel that by not forgiving you are becoming even more powerful because you are drowning the other person in guilt. It’s the same as sadistic pleasure.

Stage 4- Healing: This is the last stage of forgiveness. You must keep moving on from one stage to the next, so you can heal. You and the person that hurt you both need to heal, and forgiveness is all the medicine you need.

You may be asking yourself; how can I get to the healing stage? Well, here is how you can do that:

Step 1. Acknowledge your pain. Don’t just overlook the fact that you are hurting. Acknowledge the pain and hurt that you feel in your heart. Be clear of what is hurting you, is it the action or the person? The first step to forgiveness is to get in touch with your feelings.

Step 2. Think before you make any decisions. Think about what caused you pain? Is it worth the effort? Before you decide not to forgive the other person, make sure you have considered all possibilities.

Step 3. Accept the past. You will have to; in fact, you should be ready to accept what happened in the past. Since you can’t change the past, why hold onto the grudges you have been carrying around? This is one of the most important steps to forgive someone who has caused you pain.

Step 4. Make a decision. You have been contemplating what you need to do, so now it’s time to decide if you really want to forgive or not.

Step 5. Make amends. After you have decided that you want to forgive, you will need to decide if you want to repair the relationship or just move on. Sometimes forgiveness doesn’t always mean reunion.

Step 6. Learn from forgiving. Always remember that forgiveness is always about you and not the person that hurt you.

Step 7. Truly and honestly forgive. This is the last step of forgiveness; this is where you finally forgive and heal yourself. You don’t have to tell anybody.

Go out there and be great, because great is calling you and great is calling me! Be blessed and have an amazing day on purpose.