Learning To Pray

Many people were awakened by failure and others were put to sleep by early success.

"If God is with us, who is against us?" (St Paul).

"Pride goes on horseback and comes back on foot." (Italian proverb).

"Happiness is not what happens to us, it is the way we interpret what happens to us." (Marian Rojas-Estapé).

If a young person has a problem (whatever it is, physical, sentimental or in his studies), that will influence everything else. We cannot pretend that a teenager, when he has just lost a soccer game in which he wanted to stand out, is willing to listen to us as if that loss did not make an impact in his life. You have to know how to position yourself and let them know and feel that you are really interested in everything that happens to them, and the secret to do that is listen with a heart that really shows how much we care about them, and make them know that all the challenges they go through are not problems that they must face alone.

You suffer because taking care of them well is very tiring, and because you have to be honest with them and know how to demand... and demanding costs when the other person does not want to be demanded! You suffer when you see that the other does not respond, when it seems that he is indifferent to God's acting, when that young man, that young woman makes choices that are known to end badly and are often irreversible. You suffer because you have a heart and you love people. Those are lessons that cannot be taught; it's up to each one to learn them in real life.

It is convenient to train people, not the circumstances in which they live. A teenager goes through a thousand internal battles and four hundred thousand contradictory feelings. As formative agents we will never have an answer for everything or time for ev-erything. They have to learn to resolve their own conflicts to the best of their ability. Our role is to teach them to fish, not to give them the fish every time they are hungry. We have to form the convic-tions, the guidelines by which a person does one thing and not the other, the values that permeate the desires, the reasons that lead to good action.

That task, without being easy, is exciting. For this reason, we must flee from excessive protectionism, short-term surveillance, excessive control, and the suspicious attitude of those who think that young people are always up to bad stuff and getting into trouble.

Here's the key: being oneself, just as I am, without artificial stuff that only generates overwhelm, bewilderment and rejection. Fight to be consistent, to live according to what you preach, even if you are far from achieving it. And transmit the joy of a life of struggle to be close to God, despite the fact that our failures are evident, we make mistakes, and sometimes we lack mer-cy. That is, without a doubt, the best antidote against personal vainglory and, in turn, the best training young people can receive.

When dealing with teens and young adults it is very important to show up before the party is over. Not being around when they really need us shows lack of interest and bureaucratic mentality. A teenager needs a lot of personal attention and we have to be ready to make a lot of sacrifices to be helpful when they need us, not when we want to be helpful.

What we have to bring out of our teenagers are simple, uncomplicated people, who feel very free and who do not measure their affection for God by the mere fulfillment of things, but by the love that they put into them.