Leaving Religion: a Guide

Solocast. Probably one of the hardest parts about leaving religion is telling your family, am I right? Is that one of the reasons you still stay is because you don't know how your loved ones will react?

Today I am diving into tips and tools with how to navigate this part of your journey.

Remember that fear is just excitement without the breath.

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My guest today is Cyndi Markey who used to be a Jehovah's Witness. Did you know that Jahova's witnesses' cannot celebrate birthdays? They cannot socialize with people outside of their church family unless it's for work or school.

Cyndi shares with me about how growing up women and children were to be seen and not heard.

In High School Cyndi was able to take a class that was not an approved class from the church. She loved her teacher and he taught her critical thinking skills. She later received a scholarship but couldn't accept it as higher education was frowned upon.

At 18 years old she met a guy that she loved and as nature would have it, they had sex. Cyndi was given a public reproof in front the of the church for her sin and if you were not shown to be sorry enough, you would be ex-communicated from the church. She had been told that if she disassociated herself before she was dis-fellowshiped that it would be better for her as she could still be with her family. She learned quickly that this was not the case, in fact this was much worse.

Cyndi moved to Tennessee and her family followed her, she was stalked by her family and members of her church as they were trying to save her soul.  She moved from Tennessee to Arizona and then to Chicago to live with her grandmother. In Chicago she tried to establish some sort of normalcy. To her normalcy looked like establishing routines, getting a car, a job, getting friends and having a sense of community.

As Cyndi tried to unpack the previous years of her life it was painful and she attempted to take her life at 21 years old. She later married a man, divorced and then had a few other marriages. She asked herself, "Why can't I find the keys to happiness?" This question propelled her into finding her healing.
Cyndi breaks down finding happiness and yourself in 4 steps:
1. Know Yourself
2. Trust
3. Teach
4. Love Self

Your heart knows, Cyndi shares. Build your own resilience. Did you know there are more neurons in the heart than there are in your brain? Cyndi is now a heart math practitioner and shares some fascinating information about the power of the heart.

Cyndi was an author on a book Fear to Freedom: Stories of Triumph After Leaving a High Control Religion. Get your copy today! https://www.amazon.com/Fear-Freedom-Stories-Triumph-Religion/dp/0228825652/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1647314520&sr=8-1

To connect with Cyndi, visit her website: https://www.cyndimarkey.com

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Grab your tickets for my upcoming speakers symposium, Lean Into Your Light. https://www.amandajoyloveland.com/leanin

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Do you know what the dark night of the soul is? What about upper limiting?

Today I am sharing a bit more raw and candid conversation about the dark night of the soul, what it is and also about upper limiting.

One of my favorite poems by Marriane Williamson says, 
" Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. 
 Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. 
 It is our light, not our darkness
 That most frightens us. 

We ask ourselves
 Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
 Actually, who are you not to be? 
You are a child of God. 

Your playing small 
 Does not serve the world. 
 There's nothing enlightened about shrinking 
 So that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine, 
 As children do. 
 We were born to make manifest 
 The glory of God that is within us. 

 It's not just in some of us; 
 It's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,
 We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
 As we're liberated from our own fear,
 Our presence automatically liberates others."


Want to work with me? Are you ready to put down what isn't serving? Let's chat. 
Email me [email protected]

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I am mixing things up a bit today as I had the privileged of sitting with one of my favorite people, Angie Shockley. Unlike my previous guests, Angie was not raised Mormon but raised as more 'protestant'.
Angie's grandfather was a huge influence in her life. At a young age, her grandfather enlisted in the military and later was deployed during World war 2. He was severely injured and while pleading with god for his life, he made the vow that if his life was saved he would devote his life to serving him.
His life was saved and he dove into reading the bible, later creating his own non-denominational church. He became a preacher, if you will, and raised his family in a religious setting that has some fairly strict rules, like women do not wear pants.
At around 14 years old, after a comment made from a woman in her church, Angie got up and walked out of the building and decided she would not go back. This was somewhat accepted in her family and was really never talked about.
Angie shares her beautiful story of life through these moments, her relationship with her grandfather after she left, her parents, her marriages and especially her year of being alone while she truly found herself. Angie and I also talk about trauma and some tools to navigate it.
As a Shamanic practitioner, teacher, business owner and someone who works with youth every day Angie brings with her a vault of wisdom and inspiration. This is another truly beautiful episode!

Links:

To connect with angie head over to her website: http://www.livingmindfullyaware.com
You can follow her on IG at: livingmindfullyaware
If you would like to contact her directly, her email is: [email protected]


Also, if you are feeling a souls call to join my next retreat head over and secure your room: https://www.amandajoyloveland.com/unbind

My speakers symposium is coming up April 24th. Grab your tickets at: https://www.amandajoyloveland.com/breakingthrough

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Sitting down with Mimi Knowles; songwriter, singer, producer and former Mormon. One of the lines from his recent single that just released seemed perfect for today's podcast, "I have made a whole lot of changes, but I am still myself."

This interview is a colorful & fun conversation and one that you will for sure enjoy! In my conversation with Mimi, nothing was off limits.

We talk about his Mormon mission to Italy. His mom leaving the mormon church, later his wife leaving too which was difficult for Mimi at the time. Mimi shares his struggles, what he went through and how he navigated through the emotions after his wife left.

Mimi shares, "there's one time Jess came with my daughter to Sacrament and Quincy was asking about people on the stand. And she's like, who are they? Jess said, that's the bishopric you'll never be able to be one of them because you're a woman. And I'm like, that's just facts. Yeah, just facts. And that was kind of the the tipping point for me wanting to leave. My wife identifies as pan, I'm a person of color. I have daughters. And I couldn't associate myself or align myself with anything that makes my people or communities feel lesser than right. I want my daughter to believe she can be whatever she wants to be. And I don't want her to grow up in an institution that's like you can you can only like be this if you conform."

Mimi shares the he felt he should be clear with his followers and shared a post that he was leaving the mormon religion. He was surprised that he had 100% of DM's coming in that commented. Most of them commenting that they wished they could make a post like he did. It was eye opening for Mimi. He felt grateful he has a support system as others don't have the same.

Check out Mimi's latest single! It will get stuck in your head, it's SO GOOD!

https://open.spotify.com/album/2mznwMw4KkGwIvoUlhSWkA?si=ggqrmdECT6mo0jWr8qQEHA https://open.spotify.com/album/2mznwMw4KkGwIvoUlhSWkA?si=ggqrmdECT6mo0jWr8qQEHA

OTHER LINKS:

https://www.amandajoyloveland.com/breakingthrough

https://www.amandajoyloveland.com/unbind

Let's stay in touch!

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Talk about a powerful interview! I sat down with Sabby Espinoza, a 17 year old who felt the call to choose out of religion even though her mother is still in.

Sabby has been through challenging experiences so far in her life including divorce and her brother taking his life at a young age. As Sabby continued to question truths, which seems to be her natural state, she unwinds more or more of what she no longer chose to believe in.

Talking through questions she has, how she is navigating her journey now of finding her personal truths you will want to join me as I sit down with Sabby Espinoza!

Links:

https://www.amandajoyloveland.com/unbind

https://www.amandajoyloveland.com/relationshipcourse

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On a soul level, why did I choose Mormonism? This is a question that Katie Jo shares that she had asked herself to understand some deeper truths.

Navigating through mormonism as a child, then a youth and then later as a young mom Katie Jo says that because of her nature she had the belief that just because you say it, doesn't make it true.

Through her journey she shares about her eating disorder that she had for over 20 years that led to utter rejection of self, the idea that she couldn't keep up and it continued to spiral her down with feelings of lack of self-worth. Through these emotions Katie Jo attempted to take her life and then connects with someone shortly afterwards and she becomes pregnant at 19 years old. She marry's the father and they make their way to the temple. Katie Jo shares that she really wanted to teach her only things about God that was love. The "sunbeam" type level of learning. God is love. Through this Katie Jo shares that she believes this assisted her own healing that God loved her and was helpful as she went through the loss of the death of her second child at only 18months old.

After a few years, Katie Jo is a single mom to three kids and worked several jobs. One of them was as an artist. She was asked to paint a drum for someone and soon found herself being in the "woo woo" world - a place she had not known - and she was known as the drum lady.

Katie Jo shares how the drum became such a healing gift to her and that the sound of the drum took her to spaces where she could truly heal.

As Katie Jo has navigated some hardships in her life, especially the death of her child, she shares, "there is no getting through, there is only walking on."

"Spirituality is a path of knowing you are one with the divine"

This is a stunning episode!

Katie Jo is creating a co-collaborative book called The Untold Stories of Motherhood. To find out more, join her call on Feb 8th at 10am to get more information with becoming an author on this book.

To connect with Katie Jo:

Find her on IG @katiejodrum or @sagecanvas
Her websites: www.katiejodrum.com


And make sure to grab your spot in my next retreat! Head to: www.amandajoyloveland.com/unbind

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Could you go back into a mormon ward and teach after you have left? What if God told you to, would you listen?

Today I sat down with Keira Poulsen who shares her unique story of how religion broke for her and how she went back in. While Keira teaches in Relief Society she doesn't consider herself mormon.
Keira shares, When I was 29, which is 10 years ago, religion started to break. And it felt like my deepest foundation was shaking, and I didn't know how to climb out. And I kept saying, like, Oh, I'm gonna just have this really great story that I doubted. And then it came back, right? And then it was like, year after year. It was like, oh, like, I don't that story is not happening. Like, I like it's not I'm not finding my way out of the doubt. And it's interesting, because it wasn't like, a lot of people's stories were like, Well, I started reading about Joseph Smith I started looking into it was like, none of that mattered to me. Like the gospel was always true for me. It was that the experience at church felt like a mockery. And I just don't do well in that energy. So I'd be sitting in Relief Society, just like praying, like, Oh, I just want to feel the spirit. I just want to I want to feel like nourished and how I used to feel. And instead I was just pissed. Like, what is this bullshit? Like, nobody knows what's actually happening. Like, no one is talking about God, no one's talking about Christ, like what is happening? And it was like this anger. Like why? Like, why?

Keira shares how sad she was when church died for her. She truly grieved when she left.

You will want to listen to this extremely unique and beautiful episode!

LINKS:

Get your FREE Creating with The Divine Course from Keira: https://keira-poulsen.mykajabi.com/opt-in-80b5402a-9954-478e-ba49-b38c49119dc8

Check out Keira's website: http://www.keirapoulsen.com

To listen to Keira's pocast click here: https://theawakenpodcast.libsyn.com/release-and-create-new

Make sure to snag your spot for my March retreat! https://www.amandajoyloveland.com/unbind

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Kayla shares how her interracial marriage has created some difficulties, especially within the family dynamic. She shares how her husbands family, being Hmong, found a natural place within the mormon church.

After her babies, Kayla had severe postpartum that never really went away. As she visited her doctor to get on medication she wondered what was really underneath the depression. As she asked this question some pieces started to unravel. She ended up on google researching abusive personalities and as she did she started seeing how the mormon church seemed to fit some of the qualities she was reading. As she continued down this path pieces started coming together for Kayla.

As Kayla made the decision to leave, her husband decided he would start to go again which was very difficult for her as you can imagine!

Kayla offers some beautiful perspectives on culture within relationships, especially within the church.

Come join me for another beautiful episode!

LINKS

Snag your spot at my next retreat!

https://www.amandajoyloveland.com/unbind

If you are looking for more support I recommend you join a private group on Facebook called Empowered Former LDS.

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Her unraveling was started because of the massive amounts of good in the world. Yes, you. heard that right! 

My latest guest was SO fun to chat with! I found myself captivated by her story as it is truly unique and beautiful! 

Being raised by parents who literally felt that God told them to marry, doubting was never an option for her as she was a bi-product of a god ordained marriage. She was special and mormonism was a part of that sacredness. 

As she has different events occur, as Keri comments it was the goodness in the world that started it, her belief system started to unravel. Get this, as she decided to leave Mormonism her husband decided to join! So, after she left he got baptized. How unique is this?

Keri shares that once she became more honest with herself, doors starting opening. "struggle is evidence that something needs attention"

Are you feeling the call to come to my retreat? There are 6 spots left!  Snag your spot at: https://www.amandajoyloveland.com/unbind

If you are ready to shift your life and are wanting to work one on one with me, I have one spot available. Email me at [email protected] so that we can schedule a call to see if my three month program is a fit for you. 

Let's stay in touch!

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