🎙️ Episode: Anxiety-Based School Avoidance, Listening to What Children Are Telling Us
In this thoughtful and deeply compassionate episode of Collective Conversations, Sarah is joined by Heidi, former teacher, home educating parent of four, and long-time advocate for child-led learning and emotional wellbeing.
Together, they explore anxiety-based school avoidance (often referred to as ABSA), what it really looks like for children and families, and why shifting from a “won’t” lens to a “can’t” lens changes everything.
This conversation centres lived experience rather than theory. It speaks honestly about school anxiety, burnout, nervous system overwhelm, and the long, often unseen journey families go on when the education system no longer fits their child.
✨ In this episode, we explore:
✨ What anxiety-based school avoidance actually looks like in real family life
✨ Why “school refusal” language misses the reality of children’s distress
✨ The importance of listening to children’s experiences, not correcting their behaviour
✨ How pressure around attendance can increase anxiety rather than resolve it
✨ Why support adaptations should not be removed just because a child appears to be coping
✨ The emotional cost of pushing children beyond their capacity
✨ When home education or alternative pathways may become a compassionate option
✨ Why healing from school related trauma and burnout can take far longer than expected
✨ The unlearning parents often need to do around education, success, and safety
Heidi also shares insights from her own journey as a former teacher and parent whose children have never attended school, offering reassurance that learning can happen in many forms, and that no decision needs to be permanent or all-or-nothing.
This episode is especially supportive for parents navigating school anxiety, ABSA, deregistration, alternative education, or for professionals working with children who are struggling within mainstream education settings.
🌿 Continue the Conversation
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