Come and knock on our door. Come and sit on our couch. Come shine a black light on our couch and wonder what on earth can make a splatter that shape.

Come get stripped down with us. We just chilling at home. We getting sensual under the covers. Klem drops a Top Ten in the tub. Heather smokes a cigarette and we haaaaaaaaaaangin’. We talkin’ bout practice. By “practice” I mean double penetration. That’s two penetrations going on at once. What is there to say about it? Does jet fuel melt steel peens? Let’s find the fuck the out. 

Let's get Intimate at the Melody Tent. Take a peek under our covers and let’s make some sounds under this tarp.

*Why does Quentin Tarantino hate the metric system?

*Because he likes everything expressed to him as feet.

Love us more than Truck Month? You can find all our merch, social media, newsletter and more right here: https://linktr.ee/legsandeggspod

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We have more Shidder Mob.

It’s not a secret.

We’re telling you right now

Before you leak it

Have you hugged your kid today? Specifically, have you hugged your kid in a Chinese restaurant on Cape Cod? Does your finger have a name? Is it Chester? Chester the Finger? I know a finger. His name is Finger. He hangs out with Hal but that’s a story for another time because we have more SHIDDER MOB and a whole bunch of other business to get to.

So let’s get this business to the front. We have MORE SHIDDER MOB! We get into it — all of it — with A$AP SHID and The Shitman. Heather goes to the Casino. Heather also has eye problems but she also definitely goes to the casino. Klem talks toilet with her Toilet Talk and STUMP-O-MANIA runs wild on you! Fupa sings a lot.

So strap on in. We’re gonna get some General T-Sow’s at the Tiki Port.

Interested in our Newsletter? Maybe you want a Fupa Jones shower curtain. How would I know? I don't know you. But I do know you can find all that and more by clicking RIGHT HERE

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SHIDDER MOB IS HERE! A$AP SHID and THE SHITMAN from SHIDDER MOB talk all things Shidder Mob. We mob out to that shid. They’re in their prime strapping years. We strap it on and shid it out and when all is said and done it’s Shidder Mob. And boy does it get done. With Shid. Shidder Mob.

And what else? We’ve got HEATHER’S SWEET VACATION PLANS for the Legs & Eggs throuple! Planes crash and placentas fall to the floor! We visit La Isla de Sensuá’ de Fupa Jones! We find out why Klem is green! Is it because of her Toilet Talk? Because we’ve got. that too! We’re just living the meme. The creme meme. Cadbury creme meme. My Cadbury creme meme team scheme starring Seal Team 6.

Find everything you ever wanted to find for us by clicking this link ---> Legs & Eggs

When your'e done with the episode listen to Klem's favorite Shidder Mob Playlist

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It's Election Season. Who doesn't want more election coverage? Everyone is so excited about the election. No one is tired. We've got some election predictions for you. We've also got other stuff. Lots of other things. Things like Fox and Julio from Conspiracy Soldiers. What Heather would do to Eminem if he asked. Fupa Jones sings and you'll love it. Klem Stump sings and you'll hate it. Enjoy this episode on the last day of Election Season.

Find all our info here.

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Like sands through da muthafuckin’ hourglass, these are the LEGS & EGGS OF OUR LIVES!!!

We’re back with a smooth one! Gaveen returns with Klem and Fupa. The three ball out and explore the world of space ghosts (different from the guy named Space Ghost, you’'ll see) while they get hype for Tubi Tuesday. All the while Heather cleans her house and drinks some Oreo coke! Klem poops a smooth one! Eminem becomes a grandfather! And holy shit, a song from our buddy Stewart from 21st Century Podcast. We got more Billy Joel hits plus all the cum farts and toilet talk you expect from Providence RI’s premiere adult entertainment breakfast show! You can even wear your cum socks!

Find all our info here

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You’re a prebiotic soda. Yes you are. And you’re about to be drank by Heather. Oh yeah. That’s where you’re gonna become biotic. She’s your mom. She’s our mom. She’s everyone’s mom.

Legs & Eggs: The Podcast is back. Back like Sir Mix-A-Lot’s baby. Heather shits on Billboard’s Top 10 Rock Singers list while simultaneously believing that Jon Bon Jovi should be on it. She also reviews food, like — you guessed it — prebiotic soda. There’s more with Fox and Julio from Conspiracy Soldiers who inform us that Barron Trump may have travelled through time and also talk to us about crack! Klem Stump takes a dump!

When Eric Adams hears the song “One Of Us” by Joan Osborne he thinks “Yeah. What if I was one of you?”

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It’s 9/11. And Legs & Eggs is back again from the depths of your soul to the front of your face. Guten tag, bitchez! Guten tag!

Today we celebrate the birth of Freedom Fries and the death of Saddam Hussein. Today we fly the corn muffin at half-mast. Today we remember to not forget. 

Celebrating with us for the first time ever is the one, the only GAVEEN! Let’s welcome Gaveen to the podcast! We've got new songs. We’ve got old songs. We’ve got cat hairs in our ears. We’ve got Bernie Kolfeld with more cyberknife information. Jet fuel may not melt steel beams, but this edition of TOILET TALK WITH KLEM STUMP sure will!

Happy first day of 9/11 season everybody. Let’s see this bitch through to MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

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OR IMMEDIATE RELEASE!

Joe’s dropping out. We had thoughts. You need to hear them. Listen to Fupa, Klem, and Heather react to the news of Joe Biden dropping out of the Presidential race. We all know they’ve been holding him up Weekend at Bernie’s style for months anyway. 

They drone struck and missed Cher’s Diner and Joe got retired so Val Kilmer is now President for the next 38 days until Jojo Siwa becomes Doja Cqt and we all can walk again. Jesus H Motherfucking Christ

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This morning Klem wrapped herself around me and said "you like me because I have big titties".

Ladies and Gentlemen I present to you The Best of the rest of Klem Stump

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What can we say about Heather that hasn’t been said before? We can’t. It has all been said before because Heather is the most basic of all basic bitches. Heather invented basic. You’ve heard of NormCore. Well, Heather inspired it with her infinite power of basic. Being that basic can make a girl tired. And oh boy is Heather tired. She’s exhausted with all the stupidity in the world. She’d like everyone to shut up and let her enjoy a glass of wine and a cigarette. Heather’s a mom. She’s not your mom. But you wish she was. She’s America’s Favorite Wine Mom. Who doesn’t love moms? 

Want more Heather? You can get more Heather by subscribing to our Substack. Heather loves substacking. Or maybe you’re a freak who wants to call her and leave her a message. You can do that too. Heather loves messages. They make her happy. You want her to be happy, right? Don’t let your favorite mom down. Give her a call. 929-263-4165

Embrace your inner basic bitch and get yourself a Heather tote bag. It’s perfect for bringing home a few bottles of wine and a carton of cigarettes. 

Heather would appreciate very much if you would follow her on Twitter. 

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