Lessons for Leaders

This week on the podcast I'm sharing about Leadership Compassion and

• Why it's important
• The reasons why it's not being soft
• The small things you can do that have a big impact
• What to know so that you can guard against compassion fatigue too.

There's always going to be differing views about leadership skills, compassion and whether it's too soft. I'm hoping this episode will get you thinking about things differently and enable you to support your teams and do your work better.

Being compassionate is not something we're born with. It comes from a considerate behaviour, kind gestures, generous actions here and there that can make someone's day. Even the smallest moments can have a big impact.

Kindness and compassion go hand in hand and enable you to be a leader that people feel that others can relate to, you're accessible and approachable.

A lot of organisations have done work with their people to encourage their people to come forward and say if they're struggling. Some organisations are finding that middle managers don't know how to deal with these things.

Similarly there are people who are helping supporting, and often it can feel like they have become overloaded. Compassion fatigue can affect those in the most dedicated of professions.

Why should we be compassionate?

When we're compassionate it creates connections

You create stronger connections

Connections improve trust

Trust enhances loyalty so people feel they can come to you with issues.

Then you have collaboration regardless of levels of management.

Compassion is not the be-all and end-all – there needs to be leadership compassion with a whole other leadership skills.

Compassion can be being supportive with mentorship, guidance too.

When we express appreciation for what people have done, recognise accomplishments, or difficult moments, pressurised meetings and share your appreciation for them doing what they do.

Listen to the story of Emma's girls being confused with the recognition she was given and the discussion that took place.

Sharing compassion means people want to turn up for work, there's a better workplace environment. So compassion is often about making people feel comfortable around you, having positivity, flexibility and support. That way people will come to you with concerns, issues and problem. So people with come to you because of what you do, rather than just because you're the boss.

The other side of this is compassion fatigue.

The condition is often described as 'the cost of caring' and can lead to a struggle to empathise or feel compassion for others. Often there are people are in key areas of work who become the front line for others to offload their emotions or deal with emotive or traumatic situations.

It's classed a a deep emotional and physical exhaustion. It's also called secondary trauma and it's something I've been talking about a lot through the pandemic because people are picking up cares, concerns, difficulties through out lockdown.

Therapists and counsellors are often trained to have key ways to be compassionate without absorbing all the feelings, being overloaded and carrying everyone else's emotional feelings. In HR, people professions, you're not given this level of training.

It's important to look for the clues and know if you recognise those feelings immediately.

So that you know if you're feeling run down, worn out too often?

Make sure you know you've got tools and skills to reduce those feelings and reduce the stress levels so that you've got quick and effective ways to keep yourself back at your best quite quickly.

Remember it's not your job to fix things. Yes be compassionate, support and sign-post.

Talk to me if you want to know about my training on this subject of compassion fatigue.

In summary, it's important to be compassionate, but ensure that it's not detrimental to your own energy and wellbeing.

Any questions on this, drop me an email at [email protected]

For further information on 1:1, group coaching or training get in touch.

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If you want to be increasing your performance so that you're more resilient, less stressed in these current times, so that you can focus easily, use tools and techniques to deal with all the current and unknown challenges then make sure that you head over to my website at http://www.emmalangton.com

Today I'm joined by Tina McDonald who is a workplace trainer for leadership and management apprentices. She talking today about how leadership is not about you.

• Listen for some fabulous info about how Tina trains our leaders of the future.
• A great example of influence, empowerment and changing culture
• What common themes does Tina see with Leadership?

I think you're going to love this episode

Tina works at Milton Keynes college with apprentice managers at Level 3 who are on a journey of improving themselves as managers or potential managers across the course of a year.

It's quite gruelling for them and Tina spends 12 months highlighting all the great things about leadership and turning them into leaders she would want her children to work for.

Emma shares a popular phrase of her about there is no 'management manual' because people get promotions because they're good at what they do but then they don't have the additional skills to lead and manage people.

Tina shares that it's not about ticking boxes but understanding what the boxes are there for so that you're doing 70% of the job really well and 30% is the leadership stuff that no-one understands until they actually do a qualification.

She shares an example of aligning a SMART Goal around making a cup a tea. And the conversation flows about knowing where to improve, to increase performance, carry out good evaluation, reviewing goals, looking at targets and seeing if things are fit for purpose.

Tina talks about the value of leadership models on such as evaluating and giving feedback but following a model so that it's done well.

The lessons learnt are always "I won't do that again" and it might be simple but without the training and support they will end up with no-one who wants to work for them.

What common themes does Tina see with Leadership?

In operational management they look at operational strategy and look up. Where do they want to be, how do they know when they've arrived. You can see the fear come in because they know there's a task to do at the end of every learning. They realise quite often that some of the senior managers don't always have a clue what they're doing.

We also look at culture in the workplace. She uses Charles Handy's model because it's simple. They get to start to see how cultures become a concrete thing that they think they cannot change. It can be damaging if it's not the right fit for the organisation

Tina shares a fabulous example of how one of her apprentices made a change in the workplace as a result of a talk that happened on her course.

The reason Tina is passionate about 'it's not about you' is because these are the leaders of the future. If they're not passionate about that, they don't start the course because they don't like the work that has to going into it right from the beginning. Those that do get to the end, realise they've learnt so much about themselves, they're doing for everyone else, not just themselves.

Leadership allows people the self confidence to do things, try things and not carry guilt or shame around the decision and actions that they take or the things that don't go well.

Connect on LinkedIn with Tina: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tina-leigh-mcdonald/

Please do make sure you hit 'subscribe' so that don't miss an episode.

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If you want to be increasing your performance so that you're more resilient in these current times, so that you can focus easily, use tools and techniques to deal with all the current and unknown challenges then visit emmalangton.com

Common topics / situations and requirements for leadership in post covid world.

• Common leadership qualities that people are looking for and are needed to support your business and your people
• Why culture is important and how you might re-look at that
• How great communication brings people into the fold
• What you can do to build trust
• Why burnout is such a big thing to watch out for alongside your other mental wellbeing plans
• The common options people are using to develop this leadership in a post covid world.

These are some of the things I'm seeing in organisations – and of course, some of the things I'm being asked to supply too.

Now, if you're thinking as you listen to this that you might as well switch off now, well, I'm not high enough up to influence this – wait. There's some podcasts coming that will help change your mind about this, so listen on here and get the full picture.

Leadership skills

Obviously, having great leadership skills is a given. But what does good leadership look like?

With the continuing of remote working, hybrid working – whatever type of working format is happening, it has become imperative for managers to develop strong leadership qualities to manage teams remotely, inspire and bring out the best in them.

Culture

Build a culture that people want to be part of.

Lots of people have been telling me they're feeling flat, low, fed up … a common phrase was "lost their mojo". Part of this is because of lockdown and the covid situation – there's no connection, working all the time, lost enthusiasm etc.

Listen in to why building culture is important in helping this and what you can do.

Communication

Communicating in a way that engages people, draws them in, takes them with you and means they want to share information with you – good, bad and ugly – also means you're ahead of the game with situations in the workplace.

Good communication creates trust.

Listen for more on this.

Burnout

This is important to listen to. If you've got people saying they're feeling low, fed up then grab the other podcast on burnout and make sure you're implementing things that help prevent burnout.

How do we lead in a post covid world?

I share the common development and leadership plans I'm seeing and working on with organisations so that you can get an idea of what's topical and working at the moment.

If you want to talk to me about any of this, get in touch at [email protected]

Please do make sure you hit 'subscribe' so that don't miss an episode.

If you haven't yet left a review, please do go and find the little button to leave a review and let me know your thoughts, key take-aways and what you value from the podcast.

Join my corporate leadership and wellbeing newsletter HERE

https://emmalangton.activehosted.com/f/20

If you want to be increasing your performance so that you're more resilient in these current times, so that you can focus easily, use tools and techniques to deal with all the current and unknown challenges then make sure that you either drop me an email to [email protected] . Or head over to my contact page and either send me a email from there or book an appointment straight into my diary – saving all that to-ing and fro-ing that you get when we try to get space in people's diary.

This week I'm talking about leading with empathy. I share with you

• The reasons why empathy is really important, and now more so than ever before.
• The benefits for your people and your organisation
• The one misunderstanding about empathy
• The three types of empathy and the benefits and pitfalls of each of these.
• Is it possible to have too much empathy?

It's never been more important to lead with your teams with empathy. Our people have been going through huge challenges – as indeed have you - let's not forget that – you're included in this. The challenges at work, at home, with family, friends. People are dealing with overwhelm, burn-out, illness, loss, uncertainty and anxiety about the future and what that looks like – the list goes on.

When you've got all that to deal with why on earth am I talking about empathy?

Empathic leaders bring huge benefits to a team. By showing understanding and sharing empathy it means

• The team perform better
• They can be honest and open at work
• More likely to embrace new situations and new ways of working
• More gets done

What do I actually mean by empathy?

It's the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.

Yes Emma, well, I'm nice to people isn't that enough?

Often people think being nice to someone is being empathic but in reality is so much more than that. Yep, being nice is important but true empathy requires greater depth.

When you lead with empathy you consistently demonstrate an awareness of that persons feelings and emotions. It's as if you step into that persons' shoes, you feel it yourself (almost) I'll explain more on that in a moment.

Psychologists identified 3 types of empathy and I share what this means, the benefits and pitfalls of each AND how you can enhance each of these empathic skills.

Cognitive Empathy

This is about understanding thoughts and emotions in a rational rather than emotional sense.

Listen in for an explanation and example.

Emotional Empathy

This is about really getting to know someone as a whole person.

Listen in for an explanation and example.

Compassionate Empathy

This is where there is a combination of cognitive and emotional empathy. However, compassionate empathy motivates us to take action to help the person or situation.

Can We Have Too Much Empathy?

In short, yes we can. Listen in for the explanation around this and what to look out for to guard against this.

It's often called compassion fatigue and I talk more about how I'm providing training and workshops on this for many organisations I'm working with.

To summarise, incorporating empathy and emotional intelligence into your management style is a skill that can be learned just like any other.

Talk to me if you want to know more about how I can help you and your organisation with this.

Please do make sure you hit 'subscribe' so that don't miss an episode.

If you haven't yet left a review, please do go and find the little button to leave a review and let me know your thoughts, key take-aways and what you value from the podcast.

Join my corporate leadership and wellbeing newsletter HERE

If you want to be increasing your performance so that you're more resilient in these current times, so that you can focus easily, use tools and techniques to deal with all the current and unknown challenges then make sure that you either drop me an email to [email protected] . Or head over to my website and you can find the contact page and either send me a email from there or book an appointment straight into my diary – saving all that to-ing and fro-ing that you get when we try to get space in people's diary.

This week I share the benefits that can be seen individuals and across an organisation when a coaching culture is embedded.

Listen in for:

My tips on corridor coaching

Explain the coaching continuum and how you can use it easily

Some recent trends in coaching in organisations I'm working with too.

Leadership coaching is often very well recognised as being something that adds value to businesses through higher productivity, better engagement, and improved effectiveness.

How good would it be to have that kind of support for everyone in the workplace?

That's what happens when we create a coaching culture.

By creating a coaching culture we are enabling your organisation to function in an environment where employees feel support to provide feedback, ask questions, encourage their own thinking .. for example to figure out problems and come up with solutions. It creates situations where there is opportunity for shared learning, for people to use their individual skills rather than being a 'one size fits all' kind of workplace.

Corridor Coaching

Listen in where I talk about "corridor coaching" and how you can make that work.

Rather wait for specific meetings, 1:1's and reviews, you can provide opportunities for these conversations literally .. to take place in the corridor or at the desk.

The Coaching Continuum

Listen to my really simple way of looking at coaching with the idea of a continuum of Ask, Suggest, Tell. Hear my explanation of getting this to work and where you need to be on this continuum to ensure coaching culture works.

Often we prioritise senior leadership coaching. The areas we forget about are HR and middle managers. What happens then is that we will struggle to have these coaching conversations running right through the organisation because we don't have managers coaching the people right through the company.

By shifting coaching to be the most predominant management style you can make it a success. That also means supporting all managers with coaching and I'm often asked to provide coaching for middle managers. At the moment, group coaching is working really well for them so that they develop coaching skills and leadership skills as well as build peer support and develop and enhance essential leadership tools.

Please do make sure you hit 'subscribe' so that don't miss an episode.

If you haven't yet left a review, please do go and find the little button to leave a review and let me know your thoughts, key take-aways and what you value from the podcast.

Join my corporate leadership and wellbeing newsletter HERE

If you want to be increasing your performance so that you're more resilient in these current times, so that you can focus easily, use tools and techniques to deal with all the current and unknown challenges then make sure that you either drop me an email to [email protected] . Or head over to my website and you can find the contact page and either send me a email from there or book an appointment straight into my diary

We can often forget to celebrate successes and this can have a negative impact on our teams.

Listen in for 4 key areas that are impacted - in a good way - when we celebrate success.

There's tips and ideas to help you think about how you can quickly and easily and celebrate successes within your workplace or your team.

We often talk about carrot or stick approach to motivation. I don't need to explain about how much effort it would take you as a manager or leaders to keep beating a stick at someone. Compare it to how much effort it will take for you to dangle a carrot and have them do the work to reach the carrot.

Don't let the different way of working stop you seeing successes.

Apparently the no 1 reason people are unhappy isn't about their pay it's about how valued they feel. When leaders and managers don't acknowledge a persons' contribution, effort, progress, help or support, then people get to the why bother attitude.

By celebrating successes you're uplifting the positivity in the team. You're helping them to keep their eye on the things that go well rather than the things that are not done or that didn't go well. Instead we're focussing on achievement.

Please do make sure you hit 'subscribe' so that don't miss an episode.

If you haven't yet left a review, please do go and find the little button to leave a review and let me know your thoughts, key take-aways and what you value from the podcast.

Join my corporate leadership and wellbeing newsletter HERE

https://emmalangton.activehosted.com/f/20

If you want to be increasing your performance so that you're more resilient in these current times, so that you can focus easily, use tools and techniques to deal with all the current and unknown challenges then make sure that you either drop me an email to [email protected] . Or head over to my website at http://www.emmalangton.com and you can find the contact page and either send me a email from there or book an appointment straight into my diary – saving all that to-ing and fro-ing that you get when we try to get space in people's diary.

There's a misunderstanding of what it means to be resilient, and the resulting impact of overworking.

I share information and ideas about how you can recharge your resilience levels in different ways and how you can find ways to get little pockets of holiday like moments so that you bounce back from difficulties or exhaustion as quickly as possible.

Daily recovery from work is crucial to maintain high levels of well-being, performance and resilience.

We learn early on in our lives that we must work hard. Be dedicated. Put in the hours etc.

Keep calm under pressure

Manage shifting priorities – all those things we put on our cv.

And yes we can do this, but we also need to have tools in our toolkit to help us keep going for the long term.

I share

• two key areas that people hardly ever mention in my workshops that are completely relevant to resilience.
• why it's not just about your physical health
• what to avoid if you want to help your body recover and recharge
• how to tune into what will work specifically for you
• why you need to calm your brain as well as recharge your body

Listen to my other episodes on the theme of resilience too with

How Self Awareness is Crucial for Resilient Leaders

How to Strengthen Your Support Network

Why You Need to Revisit Your Vision

If you have questions, get in touch.

Please do make sure you hit 'subscribe' so that don't miss an episode.

If you haven't yet left a review, please do go and find the little button to leave a review and let me know your thoughts, key take-aways and what you value from the podcast.

Join my corporate leadership and wellbeing newsletter HERE

https://emmalangton.activehosted.com/f/20

If you want to be increasing your performance so that you're more resilient in these current times, so that you can focus easily, use tools and techniques to deal with all the current and unknown challenges then make sure that you either drop me an email to [email protected] . Or head over to my website at http://www.emmalangton.com and you can find the contact page and either send me a email from there or book an appointment straight into my diary – saving all that to-ing and fro-ing that you get when we try to get space in people's diary.

Self awareness will help you to know what you love to do and what you struggle with.

I'm talking more with organisations who have leaders who have risen through the ranks and are great at what they do, but they struggle with leadership skills. That affects their resilience and their confidence. They slip back into doing the doing rather than leading effectively – mainly because that's where their comfort zone is.

Self awareness is about knowing strengths, weaknesses - yes we can all answer these questions in interviews but do you really know about those for you personally and where your strengths and weaknesses are with the way you lead and interact with others?

Listen for key examples that I share in my workshops and webinars.

How you can easily begin to raise your awareness today.

How being more self aware enables you lead with more confidence.

There's a couple of great examples of real life clients who worked with me and raised their awareness and the impact it had on them.

Please do make sure you hit 'subscribe' so that don't miss an episode.

If you haven't yet left a review, please do go and find the little button to leave a review and let me know your thoughts, key take-aways and what you value from the podcast.

Join my corporate leadership and wellbeing newsletter HERE

https://emmalangton.activehosted.com/f/20

If you want to be increasing your performance so that you're more resilient in these current times, so that you can focus easily, use tools and techniques to deal with all the current and unknown challenges then make sure that you either drop me an email to [email protected] . Or head over to my website at http://www.emmalangton.com and you can find the contact page and either send me a email from there or book an appointment straight into my diary – saving all that to-ing and fro-ing that you get when we try to get space in people's diary.

Martin Roberts is a Wellbeing Lead in Lloyds Banking Group and recently set up his own company Keep In Mind.

You're going to love listening to him, I know I do, and we talk about how to get beyond ''I'm Fine'' or ''I'm Okay''. We both share some personal experiences to give you real life approaches that work.

Martin's journey has driven him to significantly raise the profile of mental health and wellbeing at every opportunity. Through both his role as an award winning Mental Health Lead within Lloyds Banking Group and as founder of Keep in Mind Ltd, Martin shares talks, presentation and strategy plans on mental health and wellbeing subjects.

Martin shares briefly how he had his own mental health challenges and was frightened to tell anyone he was struggling.

He did the most important thing and said 3 important words. I need help.

This journey from there led him to be a Mental health Lead at Lloyds Bank Group and start his own business called Keep in Mind.

• Why we don't need a suit of armour
• Need to be our true selves
• Create an environment for colleagues to be able to have a conversation
• We need to bring the whole person to work.
• Listen differently
• How the rollercoaster of covid is continuing
• Why silence is absolutely golden and how to use it well
• If you can only do one thing, listen for the one thing that Martin thinks we need to do.
• Ask Twice

These are not just for the workplace – it's for friends, family and anyone else you know too.

Finally, remember Martin's key phrase – it's not life changing – it could be life saving.

Martin offers bespoke talks, presentations and strategy design so get in touch if you need that.

Get in touch with me for leadership coaching, wellbeing training and workshops that help you communicate well, support your people, reduce the stressors and increase resilience so that you too can have the potential to create that ripple effect we talked about.

Martin's Website: https://keepin-mind.co.uk/

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/keepmind25/

Twitter - https://twitter.com/keepmind25

LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/martineroberts/

Please do make sure you hit 'subscribe' so that don't miss an episode.

If you haven't yet left a review, please do go and find the little button to leave a review and let me know your thoughts, key take-aways and what you value from the podcast.

Join my corporate leadership and wellbeing newsletter HERE

https://emmalangton.activehosted.com/f/20

If you want to be increasing your performance so that you're more resilient in these current times, so that you can focus easily, use tools and techniques to deal with all the current and unknown challenges then make sure that you either drop me an email to [email protected] . Or head over to my website at http://www.emmalangton.com and you can find the contact page and either send me a email from there or book an appointment straight into my diary – saving all that to-ing and fro-ing that you get when we try to get space in people's diary.

Listen in whilst I share the reasons that listening is so important for leaders. It doesn't necessarily come naturally to us.

I share

👂 The benefits of honing your listening skills

👂 Some information that may help you understand why leaders find listening tough

👂 My 8 top tips to help you improve your listening skills

👂 Including the whacky but really effective one I've been sharing with my clients and in my workshops for year.

Listening is a skill that can only be learned and refined through social interaction

Pick just one to practice for a week and see if you notice the difference.

Genuine listening is such an important skills for leaders. It helps build relationships, solve problems, ensure understanding, resolve conflicts, and improve accuracy.

When I trained as a therapist, then later a coach there's a TON of importance put on listening.

It's about listening to hear, listening to understand, not just hearing the issue or listening to fix.

Listening is a critical part of building good relationships.

When you take the time to listen to someone, really take the time to listen properly; it shows you value the person, which is the ultimate form of respect. If you look bored or interrupt the person while speaking, you're showing that you don't really care what the person has to say.

To become an effective leader, listen to my tough to hear advice about what might be stopping you listening.

Active Listening

I explain what active listening really means

Then I 8 simple but additional ways to help improve your listening skills.

Pick one of these to practice for a week and let me know how you get on.

Listening is the most important skill a leader can have. It is the basis of so many other skills and traits that make up a leader. So be sure to make improving your listening skills a priority.

Please do make sure you hit 'subscribe' so that don't miss an episode.

If you haven't yet left a review, please do go and find the little button to leave a review and let me know your thoughts, key take-aways and what you value from the podcast.

Join my corporate leadership and wellbeing newsletter HERE

https://emmalangton.activehosted.com/f/20

If you want to be increasing your performance so that you're more resilient in these current times, so that you can focus easily, use tools and techniques to deal with all the current and unknown challenges then make sure that you either drop me an email to [email protected] . Or head over to my website at http://www.emmalangton.com and you can find the contact page and either send me a email from there or book an appointment straight into my diary – saving all that to-ing and fro-ing that you get when we try to get space in people's diary.