Lessons for Leaders

On the podcast this week I'm joined by Andrew Digwood who is a Partner at Rollits in York and also Chair of York & North Yorkshire Chamber of Commerce.

We talk about all things embracing changes in business and wellbeing during the Covid-19 situation.

We talk about

• Why we need to get off the hamster wheel.
• The heartening story of how one business has survived the crisis and been able to develop an idea that was previously on the back burner
• We need to be willing to explore and implement ideas
• As business leaders we need to think about adapting the wellbeing plans.

It's a longer than usual episode but stay with it, and listen out for the powerful tool that can unlock conversations.

Some quotes from the show are:

We've had to accelerate some of the ways we do business and work with clients.

Being forced to shut down, having time to think has enabled us to plan and get another side of the business off the ground.

The businesses that will come out of this best are the ones being lead by people who are willing to embrace the changes necessary to adapt

Getting your most engaged employees to think like business owners, so that leaders listen to the staff about how to adapt and drive business forward.

I do wonder how many businesses employee wellbeing strategies have survived the test of these circumstances.

We talk about how do we manage to stay connected in these times.

It's easy to get lost in your own echo chamber of challenges, we all have our own difficulties

Finding people with similar experiences and realising they are not on their own

Why we want to ensure that some sort of workplace continues to exist, so that we continue with collaboration and sharing ideas.

Some degree of working from home can be the perfect counterbalance to busy office environments and be helpful for Mental Health.

You can get in touch with Andrew using the following links:

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/andrew-digwood-88707115/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/AndrewDigwood1

Email: [email protected]

Finally, I want to let you know that recently I've been working with a number of organisations to successfully deliver virtual trainings on - Work Life Balance - Stress Management - Increasing Resilience - Working at Home with Children - Working with Effective Boundaries - Leading and Communicating in Challenging Times

so contact me to discuss the needs of your organisation now or book direct into my diary for a complementary discussion with this link https://emmalangton.com/contact/

Now more than ever before, empathy is important. Leading teams who are coping with huge challenges at work, at home with friends, family colleagues- we are all learning to cope in different ways. Some are dealing with illness and loss.

As lockdown reduces and more people are being unfurloughed or beginning the stages of going back to work, schools going back, shops beginning to open, there are, understandably more uncertainty and anxiety surrounding what the 'new normal' will look like.

Being able to show empathy and that true understanding can bring huge benefits to a workplace and culture.

According to Business Solver's 2019 "State of Workplace Empathy" study, 90% of employees say they're more likely to stay with an empathic employer, and 87% of CEOs believe empathy is linked to financial performance.

Empathy has many benefits. First, it feels really good. The pleasure centres of the brain light up when we are empathically heard and understood. It reduces stress and fosters resilience, creates more trust, promotes healing.

What do we mean by empathy?

Quite simply, it's the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.

How can we be more empathic?

I'm nice to people – isn't that enough? No, not really. Sorry to be blunt! Empathic leading needs greater depth than just being nice. It needs you to be consistently demonstrating an awareness of feelings and emotions of other people. It's as if you're feeling for yourself, so you're able to imagine standing in their shoes.

Now, there's a caveat here. You don't have to jump into their shoes – or as I like to explain – you don't need to get into their pit of doom. You need to stay on the sidelines so that you can help them get out of that pit of doom, but you need to IMAGINE what it must be like.

Four Key Ways to be more Empathic Listening

Listening is one of the most effective ways you can demonstrate empathy to other people. In the high speed world on online tech we spend less time listening to one another. Sending texts, emails etc doesn't need listening. It doesn't use our ears, it uses our eyes. Start using your ears. Listen to understand rather than listening to respond.

Stop

Stop talking and avoid interrupting. I know you're busy. But whatever this person is coming to you with is important to them. Give it the time and respect.

Also don't judge. If you're judging that person, you're not stepping into their shoes, you're staying in your shoes and looking at them. You don't have to agree with them or align with their actions or values, you just have to listen and understand their perspective.

Also be OK with silence. Silence is really powerful and help the other person focus their thoughts, align them and allows their brain to process. So stop filling the gaps or second guessing.

Open Up

Just listening to someone isn't going to build a bridge between the two of you. When working on camera, allow people to see you face. It helps for better connections and enables you and them to see virtual clues. I'm doing this so much more now on my online training and webinars and encouraging others to put their camera on and connect with proper eye contact.

Focus Outwards

Focus your attention outwards. So focus more on the other person than yourself. You might be busy, have a ton of things to do, but if this person has called, text, messaged or opened up on a video call. Then stop everything else and focus on them. Nod, smile, look interested.

You only have to do this for a short period of time to get amazing results. Remember what I said about this lighting up part of the brain and reducing stress, promoting resilience, creating more trust, promotes healing.

Carrying out these four key areas will enable you to have supportive conversations with your teams.

Riess says that having an empathic leader "energizes a team, makes them want to come to work, and makes people feel like they're all in it for the good of the company or the good of the mission."

Ensuring empathic leadership means an improvement in employee engagement and job satisfaction.

Whilst I recognise that all employees need to return to work or the workplace now that things are opening up, being supportive around anxieties, worries and concerns will be more beneficial in the long run, rather than leaving you dealing with sickness, absence, presenteeism or even attrition.

Pick one area that you want to improve on and or try a new approach with a colleague or member of your team.

Increasingly I've been working with a number of organisations to successfully deliver virtual trainings on stress management, resilience, work-life balance, boundaries and more - so contact me to discuss the needs of your organisation now or book direct into my diary for a complementary discussion.

Alternatively you can email me to discuss working with you or your workforce on [email protected]

Finally, if you enjoyed this podcast, please do go and leave a review, it helps enormously for the podcast to be found by other people.

Great boundaries set the culture and expectation of an organisation so that they set the standard of performance within a workplace. This is then easily disseminated down the workforce so that they too have good boundaries in their own work ethics and both personal and professional values.

I've just done a piece of training to a law firm on boundaries and work life balance. Now boundaries are becoming a webinar and training topic that is really popular right now. As you listen to the episode, you'll see what impact good boundaries make so that you can have a productive workforce with great values and still be looking after the mental health and wellbeing.

If you want to talk to me about boundaries in your organisation or for yourself, book a call.

Listen to why boundaries are my favourite subject and why I think they are so essential in business, organisation and life.

Boundaries enable us to clear and consistent.

Boundaries are not about being rigid, strict, harsh or punitive. Neither are they something flimsy or non-existent. Boundaries will need to be firm, fair and clear.

Boundaries create respect.

Good clear boundaries that you maintain and live by, provide the foundations to you and your business.

There are business, leadership boundaries and personal boundaries.

When leaders create boundaries that can drive a culture that sets standards and enhances performance.

Know Your Values

When clear on the values for the organisation. Who will you work with, what the goals and purpose is, what behaviour is allowed, you build that culture for the organisation.

Get Clear on the Essentials

These are both personally and professional essentials. It might include who you work with, what work you do, where you work, how you work.

There will be essential personal aspects too so don't forget to include these (such as work-life balance).

Communicate Clearly

The thinking and beliefs of the organisation need to be delivered by the leaders. It also impacts how everyone works together.

When leaders know what they are 'for' and 'against' and can communicate clearly, you can stop any negative emotional climate in an organisation.

You can clearly set what you will and will not tolerate and so enhance team working and performance.

When you set that with your workforce, you can tell people what is acceptable and what is not - do this in a really factual way for example "that is not acceptable, what I want to see is this"

This increases high performance and better communication and enhances the performance of everyone.

Mindset

When leaders step up it sets out clear expectations and reduces anxiety and uncertainty so that the workforce is empowered to do their job but within the boundaries and structures.

Good leadership boundaries enhance workforce behaviour, stops workforce behaviour from being pulled down taking away from its values, mission, purpose, and results.

Think about what boundaries you demonstrate as a leader.

Where are your boundaries setting expectations for others around you.

And if you have any questions about today's episode, I'll be happy to go through anything that you need to hear.

Don't forget to leave a review about your key take-away from the podcast.

This week I'm joined by Jodie Hill. Jodie set up Thrive Law in 2018 in order to ensure everyone can Thrive in the workplace. She is an advocate for mental health and has the #One Mind campaign to ensure mental health risk assessments are mandatory in all workplaces. We talk about:

Two key areas that are affecting Mental Health during Covid-19 times.

We also talk about communication and how people can feel they are only being checked up on. Jodie explains how she gets the balance of communication within her team.

She also talks about how she forgot to put her own mental health strategies in place in the early days and ended up a bit of a mess. Now she has a really clear routine and boundaries in place.

Emma talks about the things we need to keep simple.

Jodie talks about how it is so important that we don't compare ourselves to others as we don't know what is going on for them.

The other problem is social media and will look at it and think "I'm not good enough". We have to be real.

I talk about how I was only watching the news once a day.

Jodie mentions how consistency is key. There is a lot of information, we need to consider how does it apply to me and who do I trust? And shares the feedback she's had about her daily emails and why they are working and why they're helpful for mental health.

Jodie and Emma talk about the anxiety of going out, being in shops or the workplace or other aspects of lockdown that bring up emotions and worries.

They discuss what is needed from leaders to build trust and demonstrate resilience and calm demeanour so that calmness is contagious which helps our mental health and wellbeing. Jodie can empathise with people because she is trusted and she is open about her mental health. You can only do that with trusted leadership.

By story-telling and being vulnerable her team tell Jodie that they trust her.

Leading through a crisis is so important and we need to remember the HR people and managers who need support there too because they are taking the burden themselves, so we need to make sure that they are supported. They might not need a lot of support, but the communication being in place is really helpful.

Jodie talks about all the things you can do right now even if people are furloughed and how to be inclusive at this time to impact on mental health. There are challenges that need thinking about.

and finally, that we need to be able to see the positives in this time.

Below are all the ways you can connect withe Jodie

• Join tHRive Club Facebook Group here
• Join our newsletter here
• Access to our COVID 19 Advice Tool here and our free Coronavirus email
• Links to our social media are:
• • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • LinkedIn
  • Instagram

If you want to get in touch with Emma then contact her HERE

In times of crisis or change our leaders needs to communicate well. To communicate well, they need to do this often. Doing both these things is crucial to create trust in a workplace.

Times of change within organisations can be tricky and the next few phases of lockdown are going to bring change and uncertainty. In order to lead this time well, organisations need to prioritise communication and staff wellbeing first – it will pay off in the long run. In this time of crisis, where the change is so uncertain, everything relies on trust.

The World Happiness Report from 2013 found that there was less negative affect on people's wellbeing, even during economic downturn, when there was high levels of trust and more social connection.

Remember, trust isn't going happen overnight. It takes consistency. Just think about children, as a parent (aka their leader) we need to follow through with promises or consequences. I never told my kids anything too far ahead, partly because they would get so excited and it would create more questions (similar to the lockdown plan) but also in case something went wrong and we couldn't deliver – this ensured there was trust in what we said we would do, will happen.

When we are young, we learn tell if someone is being untruthful. It's evolved within us as a form of self- protection to help us survive. So the key message is: don't say things you can't follow through on.

When we communicate honestly, several purposes are served. It calms fears in employees, reinforces trust in an employer's integrity and allows the opportunity for emotional support for everyone.

For a leader, when they understand the psychology around the fears and worries that people have when encountering change, it makes it easier to work with and incorporate into their plan. It enables leaders to include or respond to negativity and concerns.

When people have an idea of what is going to happen, or clear understanding that not all information is yet available (rather than thinking things are being kept from them) it calms their internal systems, reduces to stress, anxiety and worry. When leaders communicate often and build trust it means employees are more positive and trusting about areas of uncertainty.

If you mess up, make a mistake or have to change what you've previously said or planned, then own up to that. It takes longer to build trust that it does to lose it!

Providing structure to the communication also builds trust. The UK government provides that structure in their communication by delivering updates at 5pm each day. Organisations can do similar, daily or weekly. Many companies are sending daily briefings and updates, but there's value in live communications too where-ever possible.

Giving employees the structure so that they will hear from leaders at a certain time, in a certain way with the knowledge that they can trust the content will calm anxiety, stress and the emotional impact of the situation. This helps them feel supported which, in turn, creates more trusting and more productive teams.

Effective communication, especially in a crisis tends to be based on three things (which we've also seen in the UK Government briefings).

1. Admit the problem or situation (The Why)
2. Tell people how you are fixing it or what you are doing
3. Inform comprehensively and continuously

However, underneath those three key areas, I expand on some of that in more detail on the podcast.

Also, if you don't know. You don't know and say that. You don't have to be the leader with all the answers. Sometimes we don't have answers and it's ok to say that. At least that way your employees don't think you're hiding things and it shows your human side.

It's ok for leaders to admit they don't have the answers – trust and honesty in our communications is about being as transparent as we can.

Reducing employee fears and building trust in leaders, greater honesty and transparency in communications also means employees know the "what's in it for me" part of the change, re-structure, or crisis plan. Being honest with your staff not only breeds trust, it gets them on board with how you are going to get through it.

And if you have any questions about today's episode, I'll be happy to go through anything that you need to hear.

In the meantime, don't forget to leave a review and get in touch if you need help with communicating with your leaders or workforce at emma [at] emmalangton [dot] com.

00

I'm talking about

• what resilience is
• how resilience impacts you in leadership and your employees
• what are my six pillars of resilience

Leaders are expected to be able to run and lead in their business and to be able to do it well. Accenture concluded that

"Resilience may be the new criterion for professional advancement"

With business and economic challenge the way a leader handles pressure is likely to have a huge impact on performance and success of an organisation. So resilience is critical to survive the challenges ahead, during and after lockdown.

What is Resilience?

When I ask this in my training and workshops, people say

• Keeping going
• Staying strong in hard times
• Mental toughness

Resilience is an important personal attribute that can have a wide-ranging influence on your personal wellbeing and your performance at work.

It's more than your bounce-back-ability. For me, it's not about how well you keep going, it's about how well you adapt. As Charles Darwin said

"It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the most responsive to change. "

Good news is that resilience is mouldable. You can build your resilience, you can re-shape it which means we can all develop resilience.

The Link Between Leadership and Resilience

Leadership stress and resilience has been explored extensively. Stress related illness and personal issues feature highly with leaders and studies show that around two thirds of leaders are affected. Yet, the other third successfully thrived, despite leadership challenges. What seemed to set them apart was their adaptability and the skills that combined to enhance a resilient mindset.

Leaders can also have a direct impact on the resilience of their workforce and employees too, simply with the way they react and respond to challenge and change.

Six Pillars to Resilience 1. Vision and Purpose

Do you have vision and purpose for yourself and your company Giving ourselves meaning and direction is what pushes us forward. This gives us the reason to get up in a morning. Research says when you're engaged and have purpose, life becomes easier, less complicated and less stressful.

It might be worth revisiting this.

2. Awareness

Our awareness of ourselves and others around us will affect how we respond and how we view the situations we are challenged with.

When we are aware, we know what is a challenge or what is stressful and what is not. Then we can adapt and decide how we deal with it. We can incorporate tools that help us to be regulated, calm or positive. This will all have an impact on our mental health, stress and resilience.

Listen in to the podcast for tips around this …

Awareness isn't just about what your find difficult. Knowing what lift you means you know what you can do quickly and easily to recharge.

3. Support

There are few aspects to the support we have and need

• Having a network around you
• What support do you have and what do you need?
• Not being afraid to ask for help

When we have people we can talk to and reach out for support is lessens the load of what we are going through. Having people to talk to also creates connection and we all need connection and to feel part of something. It stems from our tribal days.

It can also mean we don't feel so alone. Many of the leaders I work with do say they feel alone.

Loneliness can take a real toll on both our mental and physical health. Having meaningful relationships through a support network of family, friends, colleagues and other social groups helps us feel connected and valued.

Who is your support network and what types of support they offer?

4. Attitude

What is your attitude like when presented with problems to solve?

One method to reframe your thinking about successes and failures. When things go wrong, someone with an optimistic or positive attitude will tend to see the problem as a way of learning, or that identifies things that didn't work.

Attitude is also about looking at what we can control and influence and what we cannot.

Listen to the podcast to find out what I used to say to my managers to help them have a more resilient attitude about change.

This way of thinking can be learned and developed, so that it's much easier for us to reframe, be positive focus on what we can control.

5. Thinking Styles

There are some well known thinking styles that we automatically kick into. Are you the avoidant ostrich, the one who sees catastrophes or the rational thinker?

By identifying and understanding your thinking patterns and this self talk, or 'limiting beliefs', you can learn to challenge them and change how you react to challenging situations.

Emma explains some ways you can challenge your thinking patterns and beliefs.

It's also good to change the idea of making mistakes to being something you can learn from rather than a problem.

This all helps leaders to have a set of skills that support the process of overcoming difficult situations, challenges and set-backs.

Coaching can support leaders in this too!

6. Health

Although this is health – I mean both mental and physical health. Your mental health will improve with your increased awareness and adapting your thinking style as I've already mentioned.

With your physical health - exercise has been correlated with stronger levels of resilience. This is be due to the effects of endorphins and feel good chemicals improving mood.

It's not just going to the gym, since they're closed during lockdown anyway. We have the one hour exercise allowing in the UK. We need to use it.

It can also be having a walk, dancing, an upbeat or calming music playlist

It might be something upbeat and with people or something quiet and relaxing or alone.

Work out what boosts your energy levels and what drains you. Find things that you can fit into your life without feeling that you MUST do or that you will beat yourself up about if you don't achieve it.

We also need to think about diet and nutrition. It's easy to eat junk, and people are talking about more snacks and more baking. Balance this with healthy food too.

Do you get enough sleep?

If you never give yourself chance to recover from the busyness and challenge of your day, then you're going to be running on empty.

So that's my six pillar of resilience. But I'd like to add that with all of these be reflective. Effective learning is when a person progresses through different stages by being reflective.

David Kolb's 1984 learning cycle is useful for this. You can even use this about your day, a week or a specific challenge or situation.

• Have the experience
• Review the experience
• Summarise learnings, what did and did not work.
• Plan for Improvement next time.

The Final Science Bit:

The good news is that recent neuroscience studies now know that it's never too late for our brain to develop or change. Neuroplasticity means that the brain forms new neurons and connections until we're 100. We can even grow new neurons at any age and also prune back old learnings and neural pathways too. This means we can re-wire our brain and remove things that we are not serving us well.

It's a practice. It's called practicing resilience for a reason. Every day we have the opportunity to continue with our resilience and change the brain's default way of operating. It might take effort and focus but it is absolutely is possible to do change the way we think and the way we respond so that we increase our resilience for the long term.

If you would like to tell me one thing that you will do from this episode, email me at [email protected] .

If you need help personally or for your employees to reduce their stress, increase resilience and wellbeing (even if they're working remotely!) get in touch.

The link to the survey I mentioned is here

How do we manage teams and lead well in these strange times when our teams are working remotely? I asked Sophie Edmond on to the podcast because she's been doing some work about managing teams remotely and talking about what good looks like.

Sophie is a leadership expert and works in organisations to develop leadership capability for top talent. We talked about:

• Communication
• Duty of Care
• Being Flexible
• A top tip if people are struggling

All this results in being kinder and ensuring we have that human element to managing the teams.

Communication

Her number one priority is about communication. There's lots of different ways as a manager to communicate with the team. Have a communication charter. Agree some guidelines, whether it's over skype, teams, zoom; agree what the format would be – for example,

• listening well
• only one person speaking,
• giving a hand signal if you want to say something

and it's important that everyone is involved in agreeing that.

Clear structure and boundaries are so important that everyone gets a chance to be heard and this can mean that sometimes the people who are not always the loudest will still get a chance to speak and be heard.

Setting up a team whatsapp group or making use of the other technological tools and share photos or detail of the home set-up.

Having consideration of different people's personality and even whether they are introvert and extrovert and where do they get their energy from. Communication about what works for each person is key.

Emma shares a little of her current set up that has provided interesting dynamics during her home working environment and the discussions they have.

Duty of Care

As a line manager they have a duty of care, even during normal times, and also now in the different circumstances to work virtually. The duty of care is really key that you ask the question "what can I do for you, how can I support you", so it is much more than what have you done today … where are you with x work.

This will pay forward, because when we are back in the office, the duty of care taken by a line manager will mean you staff have felt well supported.

Emma talks about how she has conversations about being a curious leader. Emma had the pleasure of sitting beside a female captain from the army who told her that even the British Army are changing the way they communicate, so that the command and control is no longer relevant or effective.

Emma talks about being curious with using different sentence openers such as "help me understand" "tell me more" and "I'm wondering" stops people being defensive. Since our stress levels are up anyway right now, we need to be careful about how people respond and use the communication and a manager's duty of care to check in on their people as a human being.

Be Flexible

Sophie mentions that as a society and a working world we need to be kinder and have that human element. Even around the fact that we need to appreciate children (of all ages) that people work when they can. Which might early in the morning, before children are up and then in an evening when things are quieter. There may be other examples of a day, depending on the children's age at home.

We are in times of being adaptable and flexible and appreciating that people will get work done when they can.

Emma reflects that when she worked in corporate there was evidence that people were more productive in working from home because people did not stop for a chat on the way for a coffee and that people will work different hours, but still very effectively.

It needs to be recognised that the manager might not be available too.

This brings us back to the communication charter and set boundaries and structure so that there is a chit chat at 11am, for example, as if they are chatting at the water cooler. Maybe someone has baked cakes or put some music on.

People still need the social element and to be OK without always being watched and monitored. Productivity may increase but also be respectful of that and recognising and praising people.

Listening

Recognise if people say they are struggling.

Zip the Lip

Once you've asked the question. "How are you today." Zip the Lip and let them speak. Listening is so important.

We need to listen without jumping in, problem solving or thinking of the solution, so that we have to listen to hear what people are really saying.

Being able to listen and to be listened to is really important.

Agree Objectives

When managers are worried about productivity and performance, Sophie recommends that managers need to agree objectives for that week. Not too far in advance right now because things are still changing daily . Using SMART objectives is key, but realising that these might need to be flexible. Check in with the team and see how things are going. Say to people that it's ok to have downtime, or agree a group activity, even setting up a book club. Who moved my cheese is a great book about managing change.

Be Kind

Find different ways to look after, communicate, be kind, be flexible and help manage our teams in these challenging and adjusting times. Be mindful of who you have in your team. Some people will have struggles, so listen, be flexible with them.

You can connect with Sophie here:

https://sophieedmond.com/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/sophieedmond/

Finally, I want to remind you that I'm still open and here to help and support you during Covid-19. I'm delivering all coaching, webinars, training and workshops online, through video conferencing. Get in touch to discuss your needs at www.emmalangton.com/contact.

The link to the questionnaire mentioned on the podcast is HERE.

The irony that we are in lockdown during April is not lost on me. April is Stress Awareness Month The Mental Health Foundation discovered that in 2019, 74% of adults felt so stressed that they were overwhelmed and unable to cope (and that was before the current challenges that we're facing!) April is always a busy month for me, delivering stress awareness workshops and sessions to organisations who want to support their employees and give them coping strategies for the year ahead. With this year looking so different, I've decided to run an online Managing Stress Training session on Tuesday 14th April 2-3pm (UK time) This is for a small group of individuals who want:

• Simple tools to manage stress so that you can think more clearly
• Strategies to stay calm so that you can function more effectively
• Easy things that increase your resilience so that you're able to cope with the coronavirus crisis and the impact it's having on you as a worker and family member

It's just £50 per person to join and I'm keeping the number of attendees small so that the session will include aspects that are personalised and specific for you. https://bit.ly/stressLI In today's episode I'm talking about how we manage stress during this strange lockdown period, how we can recognise stress, what we can do about it and tips for the adjustment period too. I don't deliberately mean to stress you even more, however - I want to share some facts, and my thoughts on this because sometimes getting information and changing the way we think about things is a key part to coping with stressful situations. The answer to the question everyone is asking — "When will this be over?" — apart from gawd knows - is going to be the same answer I used to give adoptive parents when they were dealing with traumatised children..... erm, it might be never be over completely. Sorry to burst your bubble The other question ... when can we get back to normal. What does normal usually look like. What will it look like in the future. It won't be the same. This is going to bring about change. There's going to be change in how we work - maybe more companies, having been forced to accept working from home, will see that it's possible and people / staff / workforce DO still get stuff done. There's going to be a bigger need for looking after mental health. There's going to be changes in how we connect / keep in touch There's going to be changes in all sorts of things that we haven't even thought of yet - NHS, health, shopping, schooling - surely? we can't possible go back to 'how it was' - people have died, people have lost jobs, people have changed and adapted. This is how it is. We change and adapt, but rarely go back. What do common stress responses look like?

• A tight feeling in your chest
• Poor memory or struggling to remember everyday things
• Difficulty sleeping or waking up through the night or early mornings
• Aches and pains for seemingly no particular reason – tight shoulders, clenched jaw, stiff back

or perhaps you're eating chocolate, crisps, carbs and rubbish .. oh and alcohol too! The survival aspect creates the stress response, so our bodies release cortisol (the stress chemical) that makes us crave CRAP (Carbs, Refined food, Additives and Processed food). It's supposed to keep us going whilst we run from the tiger (so to speak) - the only thing is, in modern day, we're sat at our desk, on our sofas, in our cars etc, so we don't burn it off!!! So, we need to calm the internal system. To do this, we need some deep breathing. I talk about it all in more detail on my Managing Stress trainings and webinars ... (there's one happening on 14th April if you want to join or know more) but I also provide a guided relaxation on these because they've been so helpful for people in the recent weeks. What Do We Need to Do with the Stress? Whilst this totally normal it's also very hard. This will be happening because of the build up of pressure / change / emotions. It's really important -where you can - to be able to own and admit the difficulties. Remember it's ok not to be ok. Just as long as you don't stay in that place for long. Allowing time for a good moan / offload / cry is helpful then it creates space to smile, laugh and do the the positive uplifting things. Know that you are not failing. Let go of all of the ideas you have about what you should be doing right now. Instead, focus on your physical and psychological feelings and what you can do about them. Some people are outwardly active and like to keep busy when they're stressed and anxious. Others stop, freeze, struggle to do anything. It's all normal I'm definitely a hide under the duvet and read a book person. Any response is fine - just know what yours is and don't try to keep up with others who have a different response! The Adjustment Period No-one really feels good during a stressful situation and that's OK. Find ways to stay connected. Pick up the phone - don't just text or email or message Use video calling because eye contact is incredibly connecting, more than we realise. When you've calmed your internal system, with deep breathing, rest, or working off the stress chemical, then you look at your adjustment better. In time your brain can re-set - it will begin to look for opportunities / things to do / different ways to respond. Switch off the 'keep smiling' and 'power through' stuff on social media. Ignore the neighbour who has re-decorated his whole house already!! Your mental shift and adjustment will happen when it's right for you - the more pressure you put on yourself, the more stressed you'll make yourself and then you'll need to go back to point 1 of this podcast! There WILL be a range of emotions that you go through. I spent a day crying last week. No particular reason, just the whole sadness of how it's changing people, places, how we life, my business and personal stuff too. But it's OK to cry, get upset, be pissed off. Allow the emotions to be there, it's part of the process - the adjustment, healing, acceptance. We might be on week 3 of lockdown, but this is just the beginning. As The Queen said, we'll meet again. And we will. Give it time. We must give ourselves time to accept, react and adjust. Then we create a new normal, for a while and hopefully not too long! Before you leave, don't forget to go over a leave a review. Share this with people who will find it helpful. Check out the Managing Stress training session HERE Email me or book a call using this link if you want to talk about working with me on 1:1 basis or getting me to help your workforce.

How are your stress levels?

What is your resilience like at the moment with the Coronavirus?

How do we manage to work from home and balance the kids and schooling and the workload too?

On this episode I turn my attention to how we can still perform even when the kids are at home.

Please do share the podcast and leave a review as it helps other people to find this and we need to get helpful tips and advice out to people that need it – especially during this challenging time.

How do we keep our stress levels down, manage the kids and still be productive?

I talk about how I started my business when I adopted my girls and they struggled to go to school every day, so I needed to learn really quickly how to manage these situations.

I spent quite a few years winging it and we are all winging some element of this situation right now.

As a school governor for 10 years I do have some insight about school practices and expectations and how schools run, so I share my insight and thoughts on all of this.

Of course, I will be talking to you about what we do with our stress systems, we things get tense and how we cope with them.

If you want some particular help with this get in touch with me. I've been working on line and through video and webinar facilities for a lot of years so this is nothing new for me. So get in touch if you want to know how I can help. If the stress is getting to you, if you're feeling overloaded, if it's stopping you from sleeping or don't know which way to turn book a call.

I can help you with some tools to manage the stress, some strategies to stay calm and a plan for coping with the challenging coronavirus situation.

Book a link straight into my diary at https://emmalangton.com/contact/

We need to remember that everyone is in the same boat. This is not just you and it will come to an end, even if it seems endless right now.

Be kind to yourself and take the pressure off yourself too. You don't need to do all things.

Stay safe, stay sane, stay connected.

These tips for working from home are being mindful that situations can change and are changing in the current Coronavirus crisis.

Therefore working from home isn't necessarily going to be the same as when other people have been used to work from home. Emma mentions that she can already hear her husband downstairs and is not used to that!

With schools finishing, there are going to be additional things to consider and that is a whole other podcast (so watch out for that).

Some of this podcast was inspired by Fiona Ibbetson's infographic from her company Get Ahead VA it was great to have her on the podcast too to share her ideas and chat about why they are useful from a neurological and psychological perspective.

Write a To-Do List.

On a Friday try to plan the following week, even if then that plan needs to change as the week goes on.

The list writing gets the information out of our head and stops our brain feeling the need to remind us.

Emma talks about how she is seeing the tremendous pressure in business and across HR and so writing things down is a key piece of advice that Emma gives when overwhelm hits. You can get her free download here www.emmalangton.com/overwhelm

Do the Big Job First

Within the plan, ensure that the biggest of most difficult job is planned to be done first each day, so that you are not distracted by that one thing. By getting it out of the way and done first thing in the morning.

The book Eat that Frog talks about the reasons why we need to do the biggest thing first. Often Emma encounters people who like to clear up the little things first and then eventually do the big thing.

In the podcast, Emma explains the reason why it's not a good plan to leave big things to the end of the day in how your brain functions best. But also we get a sense of achievement early on in the day which is helpful for us.

Time Blocking

Time blocking ensures that you break down your day into different blocks and chunks of time and different activities. For example, Fiona said that usually she would have a day when she is networking or doing 1:1 meetings, although this has now changed and is online.

"We cannot put business on hold, so online is the way to do things".

Set Up Your Mindset

Setting up our mindset is important and even though it might sounds strange, getting dressed is important. We will not have the same mindset if we're sat in our pyjamas or sat in bed.

Getting dressed and choosing the environment is absolutely key.

Having a dedicated and clutter clear workspace is helpful for you to keep a clear head too.

Reduce Distractions

Where possible and turn off notifications, but set aside time and a time limit on when we keep up to date with the situation.

Choosing time in the day where you are checking emails or checking for updates is hugely important, not just for productivity and concentration but also because the frequency of updates about the Coronavirus is anxiety raising for a lot of people.

Keep Moving and Take Breaks

Give ourselves the time to move away from work too, perhaps going for walk and reflecting on each day and ensuring you are getting opportunities to keep moving away from the desk or workspace.

Keep Routines

Try to work within our normal working day and Emma explains what happens subconsciously about what happens with routines, structure and boundaries. It also calms down our internal stressed systems about all the uncertainty and change.

Have Clear Boundaries

Clear boundaries mean we set for others what we are doing and what to expect. This could be for customers, clients and also family members that are in the house and workplace with you. The boundaries can be flexible but need to be clear.

Communicate and Connect

Communication is also hugely important, because it's easy to email people rather than chat or pick up the phone, or have a video call if you need to talk through a problem. We are wired for connected and need to ensure we have that connection.

It's also helpful when we are able to read body language and hear tone of voice and therefore be more supportive and have clearer understanding of conversations. It also increases our feel-good chemicals when we have positive interactions.

If you have any questions or want some help and support during these challenging times then get in touch with me at [email protected] or head over to my website at www.emmalangton.com and you can find the contact page and either send me a email from there or book an appointment straight into my diary.

Stay safe.