Lessons With A King

Lesson 291: Less Certainty

Have you ever been so sure of something happening a certain way only for things to turn out the opposite? Sucks, right? Well, that should show that in life we should never be too certain of anything. In fact, we need to be less certain because that makes us cautious and willing to learn even more. Of course, that doesn't mean you should stray into paranoia but you should be less certain of things, situations, and people because it will make your life a lot easier.

PROMPT: What shook your certainty?

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Lesson 290: Circle A Date

If you want to get something done, make sure you have a date. It is important you circle it and/or mark it in your calendar. When we have a deadline, we tend to work towards beating it.

PROMPT: Choose any date you like, as far in the future as you like. But a date circled on the calendar.

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@israeliekanem

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Lesson 289: People Are Complex

I always find it shocking when people see things, especially people as black or white. I really don't think we are that way. As human beings, we are super complex. We shouldn't just box people or expect because they have a certain background they'll behave a certain way. We are super complex and you should never forget that.

PROMPT: What is one complex thing about you?

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@israeliekanem

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Lesson 288: Learn about the PAC Model

Following up from yesterday's reparenting yourself, a great model is the PAC Model. One core concept behind Transactional Analysis is that every person has 3 different “ego” states that can manifest themselves in any given social interaction. These 3 ego states include the “Parent,” “Adult,” and “Child” – also known as the PAC Model. The Adult state allows you to step back and think things through before you act. This is where we should aim for.

PROMPT: Practice speaking more from the "Adult" ego state

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@israeliekanem

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Lesson 287: It's Ok To Reparent Yourself

One of my best lines of poetry is from the poem This Be The Verse by Philip Larkin: "They fuck you up, your mum and dad. They may not mean to, but they do." It's sad but true. However, rather than push the blame, you are now able to work on yourself to be better to unfuck that fuck up they gave you. It isn't easy and it will be ongoing but it is something that we all need.

PROMPT: How do you reparent yourself?

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@israeliekanem

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Lesson 286: Embrace The Blank Canvas

Most people are scared of the blank canvas, of starting all over. It's like, they've built a certain life and anything new is scary or they worry they won't do good enough. What they forget is that a blank canvas is a beautiful opportunity to create something new, something that might just turn out amazing. The blank canvas shouldn't inspire fear, no, it would fire you up to build something amazing. Plus you get to learn new things in the process.

PROMPT: What is your next project?

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@israeliekanem

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Lesson 285: Embrace Positive Obsessions

Sure, having an obsession can be a bad thing but I do believe if you have a positive obsession, it can help you work harder than most people are. The key is to make sure you know exactly what you are doing and also know when you tone things down. One more thing, it's your obsession, sure but make sure it is one that is building towards a positive goal.

PROMPT: What are some positive obsessions you have?

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@israeliekanem

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Lesson 284: Do Something Fun

What's fun to you might be terrifying to the other person but it doesn't matter because it's about you. Do something fun and do it often. It's been a very trying time with the pandemic and all the crazy things going on. However, we should make sure we take time out to do fun things because it's good for us.

PROMPT: What fun thing will you do next?

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@israeliekanem

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Lesson 283: Cherish Small Pleasures

We have small pleasures we enjoy and we should cherish them. It could be taking a walk around your garden. It could be spending time with friends. Whatever it might be, make sure you create time to do them and cherish them.

PROMPT: What are some small pleasures you enjoy?

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@israeliekanem

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Lesson 282: Seasonal Depression Sucks

Fall and boom winter. Seasonal depression is a real thing and if you experience this, do get the help you need. Big hug.

PROMPT: What help are you getting for seasonal depression?

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@israeliekanem

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