In this #NGL episode, I discuss a recent decision by the New York State Court of Appeals where the court admitted that marriage in New York is “brittle” and in effect is rather meaningless when it comes to the traditional legal frameworks that had always existed for married couples and families. Since a marriage can be broken and ended at any time, the courts no longer have to apply special deference or status to married couples. 

The case is:

J.H. v C.H. 2024 NY Slip Op 50220(U) Decided on March 4, 2024 Supreme Court, Putnam County

Read the Full Court Decision:

https://law.justia.com/cases/new-york/other-courts/2024/2024-ny-slip-op-50220-u.html

In this #NGL episode, I clip a portion of popular divorce lawyer James Sexton’s conversation with popular podcaster, Lex Fridman. In the frum world we have seen an uptick in denial of the well-documented phenomenon known as “parental alienation”. It is worth listening to what James Sexton has to say about it.

I also share something pretty exciting about an upcoming episode!

Full Lex Fridman Episode:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fUEjCXpOjPY

Dovid Feldman is a well-known Twitter personality, licensed marriage therapist and the creator behind the Recreating Intimacy program.

Please take a look at the description for a link to Dovid’s website, and a link to his really fun book “52 Tweets To A Great Marriage“

https://dovidfeldman.com/

https://twitter.com/dovidfeldman

https://www.amazon.com/52-Tweets-Great-Marriage-Intimacy/dp/B0C12M78JR

Today I bring you a really fascinating interview with the one and only Eliana Baer, a frum female divorce lawyer based in New Jersey - a notably the first female guest on this podcast.

We speak about men’s issues when it comes to divorce, including the interplay with religious considerations. We speak about what’s killing frum marriages: lack of education, in-laws, religiosity, materialism and other things. We talk about how to achieve an amicable divorce (do not go to court unless you have to!), some interesting legal cases and even legal issues to consider before getting married.  

Important Spoiler Alert for father: Eliana highly recommends that you, NEVER leave your marital residence or the children until litigation is settled, and DO NOT finalize the divorce with a Gett until everything is settled.

Just an editorial note: I recorded this episode before a couple of recent New Jersey appellate court rulings came out that have big implications for religious divorce cases so I definitely hope to have Eliana back on to talk about those.

But for now, let’s cue the intro and get to the episode.

Links & Resources mentioned in the show:

• Dovid Bashevkin 18Forty Episode about couples with different religious views: https://18forty.org/podcast/aliza-and-ephraim-bulow-when-a-spouse-loses-faith/

How to reach Eliana:

Email: [email protected]

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/eliana-baer-4188551/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elianatbaeresq/

Blog: https://www.foxrothschild.com/eliana-baer/nj-family-law-blog

In this episode, Nathan talks about the FlatbushGirl "Mikva Strike" and the worldview of FlatbushGirl and her supporters.

You can watch the referenced Mislaibeled episode here:

https://twitter.com/FrumTikTok/status/1765431063373918511

We've been on hiatus as our attention was turned toward the situation in Israel and for Jews around the world. Thank God, the situation has somewhat stabilized, and we are for the most part back to our daily lives. Unfortunately this means divorces are continuing. I comment on this and the reaction - or lack thereof - to the massacre in the divorce world.

In this episode we go to the United Kingdom, to speak to Dr. Ben Hine, a professor of applied psychology, a researcher and author who has extensive experience in the areas of family breakdown, divorce, and alienation. I’m very excited to bring this to you as our first “professional” episode, as opposed to a personal story episode, hopefully the first of many.

In this episode, I ask Professor Hine to teach us precisely what PA is, how it works, if it’s real science or a possible hoax (like FlatbushGirl claims), how do we know it’s not just proof that one of the parents is a bad parent, how the system can be improved and what we can do as a community. 

Besides his work studying parental alienation, Dr. Hine is a victim of it himself, and he shares his personal story with us as well. 

Professor Hine’s website: https://www.uwl.ac.uk/staff/ben-hine

Professor Hine’s Book: https://www.amazon.ca/Parental-Alienation-Contemporary-Practitioners-Policymakers/dp/B0C9KMYD27

Inauguration of a new episode type: #NGL - Nathan Gettisberg Live

On this episode, I discuss the FlatbushGirl appearance on the Mislaibeled podcast, which you can watch here: https://youtu.be/Fy_rRV6pUeU?t=6331

Josh shares his painful experience through extreme parental alienation. Josh is an active community member, an EMT, a mentor, a support group leader, a husband and a father - but he has not had meaningful contact with his children from his first marriage in years.   

Josh shares his personal story and also his expertise on the terrible phenomenon of PA and gives us an understanding of what it really is, how it works, how the layperson can understand the psychology and what we can do as a community to combat it.