It has been over three months since I uploaded anything on here. Unfortunately, a lot has happened, and it has overwhelmed me to shut down and be closed off from many people. It is the same thing again, and despite my effort to salvage my relationship with my mum, it has turned out for the worst. I love my mum, do not get me wrong; however, she is beyond help. If she wants to mouth me off to our extended relatives, or family friends, so be it. Why would I care about that? That is a poor reflection of herself; I can choose to dwell and let it continuously affect me or walk away and focus on myself. I have vowed that this year is about healing from my trauma and learning to let it go. 

Holy, it's has been almost three months since I have done any podcast episodes. I have been venturing on a different platform instead; I have been vlogging on my personal YouTube page (URL: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCftYhthZfKfsSw5nthYD3gg). I have been giving my mental health update there, and random occurrences have happened since mid-January. I hope you enjoy my Chad story; honestly, it is never a dull moment at my job and my life. I swear I constantly encounter at least one Karen or a Chad a day (fml). Does my energy attracts bitter people, or am I attracted to them? 

Anyway, I will check in when I have everything figured out.  

Until next time.

DISCLAIMER: I will be snotty and emotional reading the letter so please excuse the sound. I did not want to blow my nose during the podcast because that doesn't sound appealing. 

This is one of the things I needed the most with myself, self-care is what is lacking in my life because I have been on the go and just not dealing with my issues. I can not stress enough how therapeutic it was to write that letter and hear it out loud. I feel a lot more relieved afterwards. I do hope that I can share that with my counsellor before heading back to school or while during school. Either way, I feel more at peace with myself every day. In case you are wondering, I am okay. 

Hey:

Sorry for being MIA, I had to deal with 10 days of horrendous side effects of the pokey pokey. I literally had tensed up neck muscles pain, terrible body aches, and five days' worth of migraines. Fun times. 

Anywho, I wanted to share important advice that I've got from my counsellor, that has stuck with me, which is that none of the things that I had gone through was ever my fault. The people who are hurting me are the ones that need help the most. They may not know how to ask for assistance, but it is not my responsibility to fix it for them. 

So I have been living with my mum for the past 11 months, and it has been emotionally draining and frustrating. I am struggling to communicate with her daily, and living with her has taken a huge emotional toll on my mental well-being. I have taken the necessary steps to heal myself from all the anger, anguish, frustrations, and pain that I have kept for the past 30ish years. I have suppressed my emotions for far too long, and now I can finally process and heal from my trauma. It is not easy to talk about it, let alone share this personal letter with you listeners. I do not wish upon anyone to go through what I have had gone through. This is part of my cathartic and healing process, and I hope this inspires you to heal from your past or inspire you to help others in need. 

Welcome to a brand new season; this will be about my healing process how I come into terms with pain, anger, and resentment that I have been holding on to for the past 30 years. I just wanted to sway my focus to healing and lead to mental health again because it all ties into where it comes from. I am not ashamed of my past, and I embrace them and help with my future self. So far, my journey has not been easy, but it is all part of the process. From the start of the podcast, I have been extremely emotional, angry, and hurt; but now, I am learning to live in the moment and not let anything hurt me. 

You are more than welcome to listen to my journey to better self-discovery and self-healing. I hope my journey and stories can inspire you to be a better version of yourself. 

I am going to take a social media break; I have been emotionally struggling with a lot of personal stuff. During clinical, a lot of stuff has happened, and to say the least, it has affected me. I am in the process of finding a trauma counsellor to deal with my past trauma. Don't worry, I will be okay, it's a matter of time to overcome this issue before my next clinical. 

Sorry for not uploading the video this morning; I stayed up a bit late last night and did not wake up in time to post this. I do have an update, so I was supposed to have an interview with a special guest, but we will have to postpone it once again until further notice. Other than that, please enjoy my rant on Catfishing, lol. I definitely had fun talking about it.

Hey everyone:

Sorry for not posting the podcast this morning, I have absolutely forgotten to publish the episode, but here it is. This is my take on life lessons that I have learned over the past three years since my dad had passed. I am forever grateful to be back in school right now and work on what I am genuinely passionate about. I hope everyone has a beautiful week, and I will catch you on the next episode (next Wednesday).

I have been verbally, emotionally, and psychologically abused by my family for my entire life, and it sucks. My parents never really understood how much their words had hurt me; if it were not for counselling back in 2014, I would not be able to handle the stuff today. It has taken a lot of time for me to learn to heal from some of the trauma but, unfortunately, there are more that are resurfacing, and I will need to take action to fix this. I am not an angry person, but that should not excuse me for exploding onto people who have hurt me. I am aware that to let go of the pain, anger, and resentment, I will need to talk to a professional about it. In the long run, I would not be explosive as I would be right now. I hope that people realize that it is not okay to be verbally, emotionally, and psychologically abused by anyone; no one should ever endure this at all. If you feel alone, don't be because there are people who are dealing with as well. I am thankful to talk about it openly because I think it is vital to share the awareness and a helping hand to those in need. If you have ever experienced this and need to talk to someone about it, please do not hesitate to message me. I am always here to listen and be your comfort.