Let's Talk Adoption

Why do we celebrate a woman’s adoption decision afterward, but hesitate to tell her about adoption beforehand?

In this episode of Let’s Talk Adoption, Heather and Kim explore how outdated assumptions and our own discomfort can keep us from discussing modern adoption in everyday conversations. Just knowing adoption is an option isn’t the same as understanding what it could look like, especially for someone facing an unexpected pregnancy.

Heather shares experiences from her career, including conversations with women who didn’t realize adoption could include choosing a family and staying in touch. Together, Heather and Kim discuss how to share accurate information while respecting privacy, acknowledging adoption’s complexities, and leaving each woman free to make her own decision.

In this episode:

• What people may be imagining when they say, “I could never choose adoption.”
• Why we shouldn’t assume pregnant women have received meaningful adoption information.
• The difference between offering information and applying pressure.
• How to talk about modern adoption honestly, including both connection and grief.
• Practical ways to build awareness in person, on social media, and in everyday life.

Your invitation this week: Share a helpful adoption resource or start a thoughtful conversation. You never know who might need this information or who someone will ask for advice.

This episode of Let’s Talk Adoption is sponsored by the Lifetime Adoption Foundation. The Foundation supports birth mothers who have chosen adoption for their children and provides educational scholarships to those who have placed a child for adoption.

Reardon, D. C., Rafferty, K. A., & Longbons, T. (2023). The effects of abortion decision rightness and decision type on women’s satisfaction and mental health. Cureus, 15(1), e34355.

The finding discussed reflects respondents’ descriptions of their abortion decisions; it does not establish that they would have chosen adoption.

24/7 Adoption Information and Assistance: call or text 1-800-923-6784

Free book, “So I Was Thinking About Adoption”: FreeAdoptionBook.com

“How much did your baby cost?”

“Did her birth mother use drugs?”

“Do you love her as much as you would your own child?”

Yes, adoptive families really do get asked questions like these!

People are naturally curious about adoption, and most aren’t trying to be rude or insensitive. But sometimes curiosity crosses a line, especially when the question involves personal details that belong to the adopted child.

In this episode of Let’s Talk Adoption, Kim King and Heather Featherston tackle some of the nosiest questions people ask adoptive families. Some are funny. Some are awkward. And some give us a great opportunity to clear up common misconceptions about modern adoption.

In this episode, we talk about questions like:

• How much did your baby cost?
• Did the birth mother use drugs?
• Why did her “real” mother give her away?
• What’s wrong with the birth mother?
• Was the birth mother a teenager?
• Do you know who the father is?
• Did the birth mother get paid?
• Can the birth mother come back and take the baby?
• Do you love an adopted child as much as a biological child?
• Couldn’t you have children of your own?
• Why didn’t you just adopt from foster care?
• Did you get to pick the baby?
• Did you change the baby’s name?
• Does the child know they’re adopted?
• Aren’t you afraid they’ll want their “real” family someday?

Along the way, we talk about the difference between curiosity and privacy, why the words we use around adoption matter, and why some parts of an adoption story simply aren’t ours to share.

Most importantly, remember that an adopted child’s medical history, prenatal exposure, birth family circumstances, and other personal details are part of their story. They may choose to share those details someday, or they may not.

Have you heard a nosy adoption question we missed?

Send it to us…We may need a “Part Two”!

Who gets to name the baby when there’s an adoption plan? Does the expectant mother choose the name? Do the adoptive parents? And what happens to the baby’s name after the adoption is finalized?In this quick bonus episode of Let’s Talk Adoption, Kim and Heather answer a surprisingly common adoption question and explain how first names, last names, birth certificates, and name changes can work in adoption.

You’ll hear about:

• Who has the right to name the baby at birth
• Whether an expectant mother and adoptive parents can choose a name together
• What happens with the baby’s last name
• How the name may change after adoption
• Why communication and respect matter when a name has special meaning

Every adoption is different, but understanding the process can help both expectant mothers and adoptive families know what to expect.

We’ve covered a lot of ground in our recent episodes, from what happens at the hospital and preparing to travel to health insurance, ICPC, home studies, and employer adoption benefits.

And sometimes, answering one question just leads to another!

So today, we’re doing another listener Q&A and tackling five of those practical “Okay, but what happens if…?” questions that we haven’t really covered yet:

1. “What happens if we get the call about a baby and our home study has expired or is about to expire?”
2. “If we travel for an adoption and the expectant mother changes her mind, who pays for our travel and hotel expenses?”
3. “Can an adoptive family ever leave the hospital with the baby before the birth mother is discharged?”
4. “What happens if the baby needs to go to the NICU but the adoptive parents have to leave the state because of work or other children at home?”
5. “If we’re matched with an expectant mother, can we add the baby to our health insurance before the baby is actually born?”

Growing your family through adoption is exciting, but if you’re already parenting a child, you may be wondering how to prepare them for this life-changing journey.Whether you’ve experienced secondary infertility, always hoped to adopt, or recently felt called to grow your family through adoption, one question often comes up:

“How do I explain adoption to my child and help them welcome a new sibling?”



In this episode of Let’s Talk Adoption, Kim King and Heather Featherston discuss practical, age-appropriate ways to prepare your children for adoption.