LET’S TALK WITH BEN, BRAD & COIT

In this live podcast episode, Ben, Brad, Coit, Janet, Selina & Natalie engage in a lively discussion about marriage, addressing various topics such as household annoyances, financial transparency, respect, and effective communication. They also emphasize the importance of premarital counseling and alignment in values for a successful marriage. The conversation delves into the complexities of marriage, focusing on communication, trust, and the importance of intentional time together. Participants share personal experiences and insights on navigating challenges and fostering a healthy relationship.

Takeaways

• Communication is key
• Financial transparency fosters unity Communication is key
• Trust must be rebuilt

Chapters

• 00:00 Welcome and Introduction
• 04:55 Household Annoyances
• 09:17 Financial Transparency in Marriage
• 20:24 Respect and Communication in Marriage
• 23:24 Premarital Conversations and Alignment
• 30:36 Conflict Resolution Strategies
• 31:01 Navigating Relationship Challenges
• 34:10 Communication Dynamics in Marriage
• 38:02 Intentional Time for Connection
• 43:50 Building Trust After Betrayal
• 52:07 Understanding Submission in Marriage
• 58:22 The Importance of Investing in Marriage

In this episode of Let's Talk, Ben, Brad & Coit discuss the significance of time management for men, emphasizing that time reflects one's priorities. They explore strategies for prioritizing important aspects of life and the necessity of learning to say no to maintain focus on what truly matters.

Takeaways

• Time reveals priorities
• Learn to say no

Chapters

• 00:00 Introduction to Time Management
• 01:54 Prioritizing What Matters
• 03:54 The Importance of Saying No

The conversation focuses on the intersection of faith, entrepreneurship, and marketplace leadership, emphasizing the importance of viewing work as a calling and a means to impact others positively. Ben, Brad & Coit discuss personal experiences in business, the significance of stewardship, and the need for a vision that transcends mere financial success.

Takeaways

• Work as a calling
• Stewardship in entrepreneurship

Chapters

• 00:00 Introduction to Marketplace Leadership
• 06:26 Faith and Work: A Calling
• 10:45 The Role of Influence in Business
• 17:00 Balancing Drive and Ambition
• 24:05 Stewardship and Ownership
• 30:07 Generosity and Financial Stewardship
• 36:21 Finding Vision and Purpose

In this episode, Ben, Brad and Coit discuss the concept of influence, emphasizing that everyone has the ability to impact those around them. They explore various spheres of influence, the importance of recognizing one's own influence, and provide biblical examples of individuals who stewarded their influence effectively. The conversation explores the themes of stewardship, influence, and character in the context of faith and personal development. It emphasizes the importance of being intentional about one's convictions and the often mundane nature of impactful living.

Takeaways

• Influence is available to everyone
• Stewardship of moments is crucial Stewardship leads to influence
• Character is key to impact

Chapters

• 00:00 Introduction to Influence
• 07:46 Defining Influence and Its Spheres
• 11:32 Recognizing Personal Influence
• 16:14 Biblical Examples of Influence
• 24:09 Stewardship and Moments of Influence
• 25:07 The Power of Stewardship
• 28:52 Influence Through Faithfulness
• 30:46 Character Over Compromise
• 36:10 Determining Convictions Before Challenges
• 40:01 Ordinary Impact in Daily Life
• 44:25 Maximizing Impact Through Proximity

• The guys open with funny church stories, including the longest sermon they endured and a scramble golf outing announcement gone wrong.
• They compare different paths into ministry and how those backgrounds shape their understanding of calling.
• Brad shares his conversion story in 1995 and the moment he felt God tell him to spend his life giving Jesus away.
• They discuss Jesus’ words to Peter, “Feed my sheep,” as a picture of ministry focused on serving others.
• They explore ministry roles beyond preaching, including teaching, administration, counseling, evangelism, missions, and men’s ministry.
• The conversation examines the difference between calling and ambition—and the temptation to chase titles, visibility, or a bigger platform.
• They reflect on contentment, faithful service in small assignments, and trusting God with growth.
• Coit shares how police work prepared him for the emotional and spiritual weight of pastoring.
• The guys discuss boundaries, accountability, mentorship, and protecting health, marriage, and family.
• They close with the idea that business can also be ministry when you steward what God has entrusted to you.

Timestamps

00:00 – Welcome to Built for Influence and the shift from general calling to ministry calling
01:18 – Fun church stories, embarrassing announcements, and the longest sermon ever
03:00 – The scramble golf outing announcement that went very wrong
05:53 – What is a ministry calling, really?
07:02 – Jesus restoring Peter and the meaning of “Feed my sheep”
08:56 – Ministry roles beyond preaching on Sunday
10:23 – Golf small groups, humor, and influence as kingdom impact
11:34 – Brad’s salvation story and the call to give Jesus away
14:01 – Passing on encounters with God so others can experience Him too
16:31 – God works in you before He works through you
17:08 – Separating calling from personal ambition
18:36 – The tension between being gifted and being truly called
22:09 – Contentment as a sign of healthy ministry calling
23:25 – God promotes faithfulness, not self-elevation
25:52 – The weight of ministry and carrying other people’s burdens
26:49 – Comparing police work stress and pastoral stress
29:30 – Walking with people through failure, crisis, and hard conversations
31:38 – Business, entrepreneurship, and ministry calling together
33:33 – Using business influence to advance the kingdom
35:14 – How to walk out a ministry calling with health and humility
36:29 – Why boundaries matter in ministry and in life
39:18 – The value of mentors, small beginnings, and faithful stewardship
41:45 – Closing encouragement, conference invite, and prayer for fresh calling

• Ask yourself whether you’re pursuing a title or faithfully serving the assignment you already have.
• Look for ways to “feed the sheep” now, including through behind-the-scenes service.
• Build accountability and mentorship into your life.
• Set boundaries that protect your health, marriage, and family.
• Treat your work, business, or leadership role as a place of ministry—not just personal success.
• Stay faithful in small beginnings and trust God with what grows.

This episode of Let’s Talk brings together Ben, Brad and Coit for a practical conversation about calling, purpose, and identity for men. They open with some hilarious job stories, then move into a serious question many men wrestle with: how do you know what God is calling you to do, and how do you avoid confusing your job, title, or season with your real purpose?In this episode, Brad and Coit share a clear framework for thinking about calling, the pressures that keep men stuck, and how to discern whether a transition is God-led. It’s a grounded, faith-centered conversation for men who want more than a career. They want direction, influence, and purpose.

00:00 - Welcome to the series and the calling conversation begins
01:58 - Funny job stories: dairy farm mishaps and asbestos removal
05:05 - Why men spend so much of life trying to figure out who they are
06:03 - Defining calling as both general and specific
08:06 - Identity, purpose, and not letting career define you
09:02 - Fatherhood as a deeper form of calling
10:31 - Drawing identity from calling instead of titles or hobbies
12:11 - How confirmation and inner prompting help reveal calling
14:06 - The pressure of leaving security to follow a clear call
16:55 - Why career, finances, and family pressure make transitions hard
18:24 - Calling beyond ministry: police, fire, medicine, education, business
19:29 - “You don’t have a second class call”
20:10 - Salt and light in every place, not just church
21:52 - When grace lifts and transition may be ahead
23:07 - Identity, calling, and purpose all working together
24:17 - Don’t run someone else’s race
26:13 - What keeps men from calling: attack, comparison, fear
27:27 - Comfort, distraction, and why growth is uncomfortable
29:50 - Past success can keep you from the next assignment
31:50 - Discovering calling by moving instead of waiting
33:32 - What moves your heart and points toward purpose
34:35 - Surrounding yourself with men who speak truth and life
35:37 - Start with God, not opportunity
36:29 - Final encouragement: no second-class callings

• Pray specifically about your calling and purpose this week.
• Write down where you’ve been confusing identity with occupation.
• Ask two trusted men what gifts, burdens, or callings they see in you.
• Identify one step of movement you can take instead of waiting for perfect clarity.
• Recommit to being faithful in your current season.

If this conversation challenged you, take time this week to seek God about your identity and purpose, then talk with a trusted man who can help confirm what you’re hearing. Keep walking, keep listening, and keep trusting that God has a specific race for you to run.

Marriage conference - Thousand Hills Church - OCT 24

This episode features Marty Bryan of Marty B's Restaurant alongside Ben, Brad, and Coit on Let's Talk. Marty shares how personal pain shaped his leadership, why he sees his business as ministry, and how he builds a culture of hospitality through standards, truth, and accountability.If you lead people, hire people, or want to make your faith visible through your work, this conversation is packed with practical insight. It is especially useful for men trying to turn influence into real kingdom impact.Key topics

• Marty shares how his childhood shaped his drive, including his parents’ divorce, poverty, and his father’s long recovery after a devastating car accident.
• Marty explains why humility and dignity matter deeply to him, especially after experiencing food stamps, welfare, and public embarrassment as a kid.
• We discuss how he sees Marty B's as ministry, not just business, and why the business opens with prayer.
• Marty shares the hospitality framework he lives by: selection, truth, and accountability.
• He explains why hiring for heart matters more than just skill.
• The conversation explores why he prefers standards over policy and discretion over rigid corporate rules.
• Marty talks about confronting issues quickly and speaking truth in love.
• He reflects on culture as something modeled by example, not just written down.
• The episode closes with a call for men to use their gifts with purpose and make people feel valued.
• Marty shares why the long game matters in leadership and relationships.

Timestamps00:00 — Mic check and opening banter
00:34 — Welcoming Marty Bryan and introducing Marty B's
01:34 — Gift hats and intentional branding
02:58 — Why the show centers on influence and ministry
03:43 — Marty’s story starts with pain and childhood upheaval
04:14 — Parents’ divorce and instability at home
05:29 — Father’s accident and six months of uncertainty
06:29 — Becoming a caregiver at age 12
09:45 — Food stamps, free lunch cards, and lost dignity
10:45 — Why poverty pushed him toward independence
11:49 — Fear of the Lord and living with purpose
13:15 — Hospitality as kingdom impact
14:46 — Jesus washing feet as the model for service
15:27 — Hiring people with heart first
16:57 — The business is about people, not just tasks
18:15 — Culture is built by example
19:42 — Why kindness came from lived experience
20:21 — Using giftedness to glorify God
21:23 — Selection, truth, and accountability
22:53 — Why bad fits need to be identified quickly
24:01 — Truth without accountability fails
25:51 — Why confrontation is necessary for growth
26:28 — Standards instead of policy and rules
27:51 — Manager discretion over corporate bureaucracy
28:53 — Why having fun is the last value
30:06 — How HR can miss the point of real leadership
32:31 — The four-day hiring test
33:30 — Parents thanking him for shaping their kids
34:04 — Personality profiles and the “gas tank” idea
36:08 — Advice to young men about finding passion
38:07 — Choosing the right career fit
39:04 — Leadership lesson: play the long game
40:36 — What leaders should stop doing: avoiding truth
42:07 — How to make people feel valued
44:36 — Living faith at work
45:58 — Faith expressions inside Marty B’s culture
47:21 — What a man built for influence is
48:12 — Learning to apologize and use the mouth wisely
49:29 — Influence is about impact and legacy
50:46 — Closing charge to go be an influencer today

This episode of Let's Talk centers on a question every man has to face: who am I becoming? The conversation with Ben, Brad and Coit digs into character, reputation, pressure, influence, and why real change starts with a decision, not just better behavior.We discuss how character is formed in private, revealed under pressure, and tested by success. If you want a practical, no-fluff conversation about integrity, accountability, and spiritual growth, this one hits the mark.

• In this episode: the hosts frame character transformation as a process, not a quick fix, using the ups and downs of real life as the backdrop.
• Brad shares the line that gifts can open doors, but character determines what happens after you walk through them.
• The conversation contrasts reputation, what people think about you, with character, who you actually are when nobody is watching.
• They unpack how pressure exposes what is really inside a man, especially in moments of stress, disappointment, temptation, or moral compromise.
• The group talks through why success can reveal character rather than create it, and how money and promotion magnify what already exists.
• A practical hiring framework from the church comes up: character, competency, chemistry, and capacity, with character placed first.
• A Miles Austin story illustrates humility and quiet integrity when a famous athlete followed the rules without making a scene.
• The hosts connect character change to Romans 12 and the renewing of the mind, emphasizing that external behavior changes flow from internal transformation.
• A major theme is decision: real growth begins when a man admits the issue and chooses change instead of deflecting or minimizing it.
• They discuss why men get stuck in repeated patterns, including strongholds, addiction, community influence, and the need for vulnerability and accountability.
• The episode closes on influence and responsibility, warning that character flaws in influential people can damage families, churches, and even a believer’s witness.

00:00 - Opening the Built for Influence series and the call to matter
01:27 - Character growth is rarely linear
03:28 - Personal story of trying to quit smoking and failing fast
05:11 - Gifts open doors, but character decides what happens next
06:04 - Character versus reputation
07:21 - What pressure reveals about a man
08:34 - Why success exposes character
09:41 - Money magnifies who you already are
10:28 - Character built in private becomes the qualifier for growth
11:46 - The four C's: character, competency, chemistry, capacity
13:27 - Miles Austin and quiet humility at the club door
16:00 - Romans 12 and the renewing of the mind
17:16 - Change starts with a decision
19:21 - Why men stay stuck in the same patterns
20:01 - Naming anger and lust in community
21:20 - What comes out sideways under stress
22:35 - Managing fruit versus fixing roots
23:34 - Influence without character becomes dangerous
24:44 - How public failure disillusions others
26:14 - Your character affects your children
28:04 - Who do I need to become to reach my goals?
30:10 - King David, promotion, and the need to guard integrity

If this conversation challenged you, take inventory of one area where your character needs attention, then bring it into the light with someone trustworthy. Keep growing, keep building, and keep your life aligned with what you say you believe.

In this episode, the guys continue the "Built for Influence" series by talking about blind spots — those hidden areas in our lives that we often can’t see ourselves, but that others notice right away. The conversation moves from funny real-life examples into a deeper discussion about humility, feedback, accountability, and growth.

• What blind spots are and why everyone has them
• A hilarious story about not noticing toilet paper stuck to the back of your shorts
• Why humility is essential for personal growth
• How feedback from trusted people can reveal what we miss
• The difference between helpful correction and defensive reactions
• Why timely, specific feedback matters in marriage, parenting, and leadership
• How blind spots can affect influence, relationships, and long-term success
• Why anger and defensiveness often point to deeper issues
• The role of confession, repentance, community, and counseling in growth

• A funny story about walking across a public area with toilet paper hanging out of a pair of shorts
• The reminder that “what you can’t see can hurt you”
• The idea that humility is the “seedbed for all other virtues”
• The reflection that truth is still truth, even when it comes from someone rude
• The closing challenge from Psalm 139:23–24

• We usually don’t identify our own blind spots on our own
• Trusted people help us see what we cannot
• Growth requires humility, openness, and a willingness to receive correction
• Defensiveness often protects the very issue we need to address
• The goal is not just to be right, but to be transformed

• Psalm 139:23–24: “Search me, O God, and know my heart...”

• Brad shared a memorable and funny blind-spot story
• The discussion emphasized the value of trusted accountability
• The episode closed with a practical challenge to invite honest feedback

Find someone you trust and ask them: “What do you see in me that I may not see?”

The conversation explores the concept of servant leadership and its contrast with worldly leadership. It delves into personal stories and practical applications of servant leadership, emphasizing the balance between authority and servanthood.

Takeaways

• Servant leadership involves leading by serving others
• Balancing authority and servanthood is essential for effective leadership

Chapters

• 00:00 Built for Influence
• 01:21 Servant Leadership
• 03:07 Worldly View of Leadership
• 04:03 Servant Leadership vs. Worldly Leadership
• 05:01 Personal Stories of Servant Leadership
• 07:24 Balancing Servant Leadership and Authority
• 28:39 Practical Application of Servant Leadership