We are happily tinkering with our bakelite plugs. There is another clatter at the door and warden Schäfer is looking in again.

This time he sounds as arrogant as usual when he hands me a letter with an educational saying. From my mother:

Dear Thomas! We have received your two letters. We cannot understand your behavior. Why do you always cause us such grief? Get used to the idea that your current place of residence will not change anytime soon – with or without a lawyer. We advise you to abandon your further plans and repent of your misconduct. We are convinced that the court will take such an attitude into account and reduce the sentence. We will transfer 50 marks for personal use to the account you have provided. Finally, be encouraged to patiently eat the soup you have made for yourself...

Okay, that's not what I wanted to read. This is not about mitigating the punishment, damn it! On the other hand, this is not my mother's language, who knows exactly what I'm up to.

My stepfather probably dictated the letter to her. In that case, the first sentences would be a purely precautionary measure to protect himself.

According to the date, my mother wrote the letter on January 23. It was censored in February, as indicated by the stamp.

In January, no one knew who my lawyer would be. But even if they had, my mother is absolutely right: no lawyer will prevent my conviction.

If she actually transfers 50 marks to me, that would be a clear sign of support. Until I moved out at 16, I hardly ever received any pocket money.

There was always some reason to deny it to me. Until I didn't ask for it anymore because it was too stupid for me.

Instead, I earned it during my last years of school either through vacation work or collecting bottles.

Otherwise, Grandma Frieda and Aunt Vera were the only ones who regularly gave me some money.That's why I'm tempted to actually take the 50 marks as an encouraging message “to patiently eat the soup you have made for yourself”.

I would have preferred a hidden hint in the direction of Wuppertal. Let's see how they do as soon as they feel the effect of Attorney Vogel.

Andi senses my inner conflict after I have read the short letter for the tenth time, turning it over and over in my mind.

Then he wants to know more, so I start with one of my favorite quotes from a complete unknown:

“Ich wurde als Deutscher von Deutschen gefangen(I was captured as German by Germans) /Weil ich von Deutschland nach Deutschland gegangen(Because I went from Germany to Germany)”.

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