So this is the one about grief. I’ve been avoiding it. I still am. I avoided writing this post. I procrastinated on every deadline with this show. It was like somehow admitting to the grief admits to the permanence of it all. If I talk about her, she’ll really be gone. So I avoid it. But sometimes, even though I avoid it, a song will bring me back to the morning I got the call. That happened recently.

My badass cousin, Jen, introduced me to Sara Bareilles, “She Used to Be Mine”. That song brought on the whole hell of grief. It is as if my soul floated above my body and watched my heart break. For her. For my family. For fuck’s sake.

Grief after 40, forced me to look inward. I know who I am now, so there is nothing to hide from. I am able to work through intense moments of self reflection. I also now have this amazing support system. Real friends who hug you when you’re crying and wait for you to pull away first.

This loss has changed me. I have never been so low, but I have also never been so hopeful because I have never believed in myself more. I am 40 AF now. She’d be proud of me.

In this episode, we interview Ben Strickland, an expert in the field of grief from both a professional standpoint and a tremendously personal one as well.

Ben offers guidance for navigating through this inevitable fate.

Click HERE to access the video we discussed.