On this episode, I spoke about living in America: 7 things i wish i knew before moving to America 15 years ago. I relocated to the US from Nigeria in 2011 as an adult in my early 30s. Prior to my move, all i knew about living in America was was what i saw portrayed on TV, movies and American books/novels. When i moved here, I realized i didn't take a lot of things into consideration and I was taken aback when reality set in. I listed out some valuable lessons and things i wish i knew prior to moving to America. As an African immigrant, i had assumed it will be easy to connect with the African American folks because we're blacks but was I in for a rude shock?! :-). I listed out 7 things i wish i would have known or someone would have told me before moving to America which included things like dealing with loneliness, time moving fast, speaking up for yourself, etc...

This episode is for anyone who is curious about living in America as an immigrant or someone who is planning to relocate to a different country abroad. The lessons/tips i share on this episode will be very helpful for you. Hope you enjoyed this episode? Pls Like, Share, Comment and Subscribe. Thank you! #livinginamerica #usa #livingabroad #nigerianabroad #africansabroad #japa #diaspora

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We discussed the silent struggles of some immigrants sending money back to Africa to support their families. We talked about "black tax" and the sense of responsibility a lot of us feel to support our families back in Nigeria due to the communal lifestyle we grew up in where we feel a sense of duty to our own people. Dr Toyosi talked about how even though her mom and siblings do not expect financial support from her, she still supports them due to that sense of responsibility she has as the first child & first daughter in a Nigerian household where she is culturally expected to support. We talked about the root of entitlement some people demonstrate towards other people's resources, especially people living abroad. Toyosi shares how the family unit plays a huge role in how people act around money and feelings of entitlement. Some immigrants contribute to this problem by giving off the impression that things are rosy and easy for them abroad. We need to be careful of the message we send to people back home so that it doesn't encourage "request overload" from them. Toyosi shared how to put up and maintain strong boundaries when it comes to family members or relatives making asking incessant requests so that you don't get overwhelmed.

This episode is for everyone who is the bread winner of their family and constantly weighed down with un-ending demands from family, friends or relative back home. Know that you're not alone. Thanks for watching. Pls like, comment, share and subscribe! #blacktax #africansabroad #familysupport #africansindiaspora #nigeriansindiaspora #entitlement #financialsupport

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In this episode Dr Toyosi shares how she became a medical doctor in the US in under 4 years. Dr Toyosi relocated to the US from Nigeria in 2022 and lives in Oregon with her husband and 2 lovely kids. She completed pre-med and medical school in Nigeria and always had the dream of moving to America to practice medicine. Upon graduating from medical school, she started working at a private practice and took the bold step to register for the US medical board exams (USMLE) while in Africa. She saved up a lot to be able to register for the exams and also had the support of her family. She talked about meeting her husband (who was also a doctoral student) on one of her visits to the US and he has become her greatest cheerleader and support since then. After writing and passing part 1 of the USMLE exams in Africa, she moved to the US shortly afterwards to join her husband in 2022. Upon getting to the US, she wrote and passed the remaining USMLE exams and got placed almost immediately for residency in her hospital of choice. Having recently completed her residency, she is now getting ready to get started on her Fellowship in clinical informatics after her maternity leave.

This episode is for anyone who is curious about going to medical school, training to become a doctor, or just driven and inspired to succeed in life. Dr Toyosi is a well rounded and grounded individual whose story will inspire you. Thanks for watching, Please like, comment, share and subscribe. #doctor #becomingadoctor #medicalstudents #medicine #immigrantsuccess #nigerianabroad #africansabroad

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In this episode, i talked about the reality of living alone abroad in your 40s as a single woman. Living in a foreign country as an immigrant without family or close community of friends can be an isolating and very lonely experience, I talked about the highs and lows of living alone in America as a single woman with no husband or kids. Loneliness hits differently when you live abroad because it often feels like even though people see you, they do not really know you like your own people do. Living alone has its upsides because it gives you the opportunity to be by yourself and ruminate on your own thoughts and get to know yourself better. However, it can often be very isolating. I talked about the concerns and fears associated with growing old abroad, community is very key for thriving in your older post retirement years. I also talked about intentionally prioritizing finding your people abroad as they will help you through difficult times. This episode is for anyone who is considering moving/relocating abroad or anyone curious about what it feels like living alone in another country. It provides tips and personal anecdotal experiences that hopefully should help you. Thank you for watching, pls like, comment, share and subscribe. Thank you. #livingabroad #livingalone #movingabroad #africansabroad #americansabroad #abroadliving

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In this episode, i interviewed Pesa Shayo, who shared the mindset that almost cost him his marriage but now, he is happily married for over 20 years. Pesa is a relationship expert and co founder of live your best marriage. He is Kenyan, married to an American woman Whitney, they have 4 beautiful daughters and are thriving in their marriage. He shared the challenges he encountered being in an interracial/intercultural relationship. He and his wife faced some challenges at the early phases of their marriage due to cultural differences and expectations. It was only when his wife threatened a divorce during their 10th year marriage anniversary did he begin to look inwards and challenge some of the cultural beliefs he believed on what the role of a husband should be. As an African, raised in a different culture, he admitted he had a wrong mindset on how a husband should show up in a marriage. His wife on the other hand, believed in a 50-50 type of partnership and they both came up with what works for their marriage. I also asked him some hot topic questions regarding African relationship and marriages & he offered great advice and questions of them In this episode, Pesa shares tips on how couples can navigate differences arising from in-law conflicts, having difficult conversations, handling marital conflicts, dealing with race issues, etc. If you're married, in an interracial or intercultural relationship, this episode is for you. Pesa's strategies are easy to follow and relatable. Hope you enjoyed this episode. Pls like, share comment and subscribe. Thank you #marriage #maritalconflict #inlawconflict #happilyeverafter #marriedlife #interculturalmarriage

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In this episode i shared how trusting mentors messed with me. While having a mentor is fantastic, falling into the hand of a bad one will greatly slow you down and potentially short-circuit your destiny. I hear so many people push the narrative of mentorship and how everyone needs a mentor to succeed in life. That hasn't been my own personal experience as the mentors i've had in the past have rather hindered my growth and success. Choosing a mentor is one you must do very carefully so that you don't fall for the wrong person. Also, instead of waiting to be chosen by a mentor, you can choose to allow life and your past failures/experiences mentor you. Being in a community of like minded individuals can also be a source of mentorship for you, cos you learn from each other. Listening to growth channels on YouTube or podcasts can also be a useful resource for you. One of the downfalls of having an insecure person as a mentor is that they kept you down so you don't outgrow them, they keep you needing their validation and permission to soar, they keep you second guessing your decisions. The effect of having a bad mentor can be life altering so it's important you take choosing a mentor (if you absolutely need one) seriously. Hope you enjoyed this episode. Please like, share comment and subscribe. Thank you #mentor #lifelessons #growth

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On this personal episode, i share how I've worked for 22 years & yet feel like I have nothing to show for it. I basically reflected on my last 22 years work history. I talked about the financial obligations, surviving & comparisons that seem to drown out my efforts in building meaningful wealth over the years. I find myself playing the comparison game to other people on social media (Linkedin particularly) which often leaves me wondering if i am making any progress at all. I also talked about the financial obligations I have as an African immigrant to support my community back in home in Africa and also how parenting and raising children can have a huge impact on how much wealth one is able to build. I talked about how i have been able to redefine success for myself, i do not measure my success by how fat my bank account is but by how much I've been able to support others/help them actualize their dreams. Surviving is something that comes hand in hand with being an adult, because even though my current 9-5 job doesn't fulfill me, i have to keep grinding and striving at it because it is the source of my daily sustenance. And instead try to find hobbies or other interests (e.g. podcasting & YouTube) that can give me a sense of purpose. This episode is loaded with so much insights and advice for anyone who is in a similar situation.This episode is for anyone who is curious or who is working at a job for many years and wondering how to navigate dissatisfaction or disappointment in their career and seeking some kind of solace or get some kind of encouragement. Hope you enjoyed this episode. Pls like, comment, share & subscribe. Thank you! #9to5life #worklife #regret #losttime #midlifecrisis #feelingstuck

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I live in my head 80% of the time. On this episode i shared a silent struggle i face quite often which is living in my head and overthinking everything. I realized that i see myself much better than people treat me sometimes which sucks. I constantly replay conversations in my head, overanalyze every situation and refuse to step out of my comfort zone to take risks. I realized that living in my head is a coping mechanism for me, it's easier to retreat into the comfort of my own thoughts than actually make real changes. Given that i'm an introvert, i internalize things a lot and living in my head is just one of the downsides of being introverted. I realized living in my head sometimes makes me not live in the moment and disconnects me from the world around me. This is something i'm working on and hopefully getting better at actually experiencing life than living in my head. Hope you enjoyed this short episode and thanks for watching. Pls like, share comment and subscribe #overthinker #inmyhead #personality

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On this episode, we talked about cheating spouses, polygamy, paternity tests and dealing with exes. Enuma and I basically discussed a range of topics related to marriage and relationships. We reacted to men who cheat on their wives and yet demand loyalty from them, such men even insist their side chicks to stay faithful to them which is ridiculous. We talked about polygamy and why African men are always quick to promote it because it favors them more. We also talked about paternity tests and how some women step out of their marriages, get pregnant by another man and lie about the pregnancy, many men are beginning to insist on paternity tests just to be sure their kids belong to them. We talked about how African men are being socialized and how that plays into the kind of husbands they become in marriage. We also talked about how some men have little or no ambition and therefore leave the whole financial burden of the home on their wives, some marriages have failed because of that. Finally we talked about dealing with exes and if there is such a thing as girl code or bro code while it comes to dating or being in a relationship with your friend's ex.

This was a light hearted fun episode. Hope you enjoyed it, pls like, comment, share and subscribe. Thanks #cheatingspouse #paternitytest #polygamy #relationships #marriage

We discussed the problems with African (Nigerian) marriages in the diaspora after relocation. Marriage is very complex and African marriages are twice as hard because of the patriarchal culture in which African (Nigerian) men were brought up in. Some Nigerian men get into marriage with the primal understanding that their wives are beneath them and are always there to serve them. However, when they relocate to other countries where women have rights and have a voice, it threatens the marriage. We talked about why men need to adjust their thinking/mindset when they relocate abroad to begin to see their wives as partners and not slaves. They also need to be able to pull their weights in domestic chores/duties just like the woman pulls are weight in providing for the household. We talked about conflict resolution in marriage, challenging patriarchal values & men leaving their spec to marry "wife material" only to cheat on their wives. We talked about the differences we've seen between dating Nigerian men in Nigeria vs dating Nigerian men who live in America. Some subtle differences we notices and Enuma shared the story of how she met her Nigerian boyfriend in America. Even though he is Nigerian, he treats her with great care & respect and sees the best in her. She also talked about how men are very visual and are most times are stuck in her outward beauty rather than digging deeper to get to know her more.

This episode is packed with a lot of hoy gist and light banter that wil; keep you entertained and warm your heart. Hope you enjoyed it? Please Like, Share, Comment & Subscribe #marriage #africanmarriage #livinginamerica #africansabroad #relationship #nigeriansindiaspora #japa #relocation

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