Life, Love and Legacy

This one is personal. My conversation with Monica Douglas prompted me to listen back to the eulogy I wrote for myself around ten years ago.

It was less than three minutes long, but it contains some of the harder parts of my story, alongside the values, relationships and hopes that I wanted to shape the life still ahead of me. And, thankfully, there's also a somewhat lighter reminder that five-year-old Sue was already “annoyingly helping” people she thought were a little slow!

In this Insights episode, I’m reflecting on what happens when we ask: Who am I here to be? And am I living in a way that makes that true?

From writing our own eulogy to the invisible contracts we create in relationships, I look at how Monica’s thoughts about consciousness, growth and “becoming part of the solution” invite us to look more closely at how we’re living now.

In this episode:

• Writing your own eulogy as a way of looking forward
• The gap between imagined legacy and lived legacy
• The invisible contracts within our relationships
• Why becoming part of the solution may start much closer to home

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OPPORTUNITIES TO WORK WITH SUE:

Coaching and Self-affirmation ceremony: Celebrate YOU!

Legacy exploration and coaching: The Eulogy Gap

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PODCAST RESOURCES:

Download your free copy of Legacy Notes - now available for Seasons One & Two!

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CONNECT WITH SUE:

Website: https://www.suerevell.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lifelovelegacy/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/suerevell_lifelovelegacy/

Blue Sky: https://bsky.app/profile/suerevell.bsky.social

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/suerevell

Substack: https://substack.com/@suerevell1

Sue Revell is a personal leadership coach, independent celebrant and the founder of Life, Love & Legacy. She helps people navigate defining moments, express what matters most and create lives and ceremonies that feel unmistakably their own.

Through meaningful conversations, personally crafted ceremonies and her I Gotta Be Me coaching work, Sue explores identity, belonging, purpose and the legacy we create while we’re still living.

What happens when the relationship you thought would last forever can no longer remain as it is?

And is it possible to end a relationship without dismissing, destroying or denying everything it once meant?

Monica Douglas is a conscious relationship mentor and minister who helps successful men navigate marriage crisis, separation and the question of who they want to become on the other side. Interestingly, many of those men don’t find Monica themselves. Their wives send them.

Monica’s work is rooted in a deep belief that healthy, loving relationships aren’t a luxury. They shape our families, businesses and communities, and their impact reaches far beyond the two people at the centre.

In our conversation, Monica shares the story of her own 27-year relationship and the work she and her former husband did to separate with as much compassion and as little harm as possible. She describes a break-up as “emotional heart surgery”, and explains why ending a relationship well requires more than simply deciding to move on.

We explore what Monica calls our “relationship ecosystem”: the web of bonds, commitments and energetic contracts connecting us to the people around us. Those relationships cannot remain static while we change, particularly during midlife, menopause, loss or major personal growth.

Monica also speaks about kindness that is willing to hold up a clear mirror, her commitment to becoming part of the solution, and the wider question at the heart of her ministry: how do we sustain our humanity in an increasingly challenging world?

In this episode, we explore:

• Why every relationship needs to evolve
• What it means to end a relationship consciously
• The ripple effect of our most intimate relationships
• Why former lovers cannot simply “be friends” without closing what came before
• How to examine your own relationship ecosystem
• Love as a daily practice, responsibility and legacy

Monica’s invitation is simple but powerful: pause and ask yourself, who am I connected to, and how am I showing up in those relationships?

To connect with Monica:

Website: https://monicadouglas.com

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/monicaedouglas/

The Reach Approach: https://www.thereachapproach.co.uk

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OPPORTUNITIES TO WORK WITH SUE:

Coaching and Self-affirmation ceremony: Celebrate YOU!

Legacy exploration and coaching: The Eulogy Gap

______

PODCAST RESOURCES:

Download your free copy of Legacy Notes - now available for Seasons One & Two!

______

CONNECT WITH SUE:

Website: https://www.suerevell.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lifelovelegacy/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/suerevell_lifelovelegacy/

Blue Sky: https://bsky.app/profile/suerevell.bsky.social

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/suerevell

Substack: https://substack.com/@suerevell1

Sue Revell is a personal leadership coach, independent celebrant and the founder of Life, Love & Legacy. She helps people navigate defining moments, express what matters most and create lives and ceremonies that feel unmistakably their own.

Through meaningful conversations, personally crafted ceremonies and her I Gotta Be Me coaching work, Sue explores identity, belonging, purpose and the legacy we create while we’re still living.

What if the experiences that change us aren't the ones we push through and conquer, but the ones we allow to transform how we live and love?

In this Insights episode, I’m reflecting on my conversation with Lottie Moore and the very different way she approaches challenge, ceremony and transformation.

Lottie spoke about the contrast between “bro state” and “bliss state”. One treats the fire as something to defeat, the fear as something to break through and the experience as proof of individual strength. The other invites us into relationship with the fire, the land, the people around us and the experience itself.

It's a powerful distinction.

Because an experience doesn't automatically become wisdom simply because we lived through it. We have to stop long enough to integrate what happened and ask what it has changed within us.

For Lottie, that question is: “How does this affect how I love?”

In this episode, I explore:

• why the experience itself is not the transformation
• the difference between conquering life and entering into relationship with it
• how loving hard becomes an antidote to performance, individualism and “bro state”
• what it means to stay present when love cannot fix the outcome
• why the most important measure of an experience may be how it changes the way we live

Perhaps living our legacy is not about collecting extraordinary experiences: but allowing the experiences that matter to deepen our relationship with life, change how we stand beside others and shape what we are brave enough to love.

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OPPORTUNITIES TO WORK WITH SUE:

Coaching and Self-affirmation ceremony: Celebrate YOU!

Legacy exploration and coaching: The Eulogy Gap

______

PODCAST RESOURCES:

Download your free copy of Legacy Notes - now available for Seasons One & Two!

______

CONNECT WITH SUE:

Website: https://www.suerevell.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lifelovelegacy/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/suerevell_lifelovelegacy/

Blue Sky: https://bsky.app/profile/suerevell.bsky.social

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/suerevell

Substack: https://substack.com/@suerevell1

Sue Revell is a personal leadership coach, independent celebrant and the founder of Life, Love & Legacy. She helps people navigate defining moments, express what matters most and create lives and ceremonies that feel unmistakably their own.

Through meaningful conversations, personally crafted ceremonies and her I Gotta Be Me coaching work, Sue explores identity, belonging, purpose and the legacy we create while we’re still living.

What might become possible if you stopped asking whether your life looked normal, and started asking whether it felt true?

Lottie Moore has lived a life shaped by adventure, ceremony, risk and a remarkable willingness to say yes.

She has lived without electricity and running water in both Burkina Faso and Ireland, travelled across Turtle Island and been welcomed into indigenous ceremonies. Yet the heart of this conversation isn’t the unusual shape of Lottie’s life. It’s what those experiences have taught her about choice, connection and living in a way that feels true.It’s about the choices beneath it.

Lottie talks about meeting experiences as they are, rather than immediately asking what we can take from them. We explore the importance of pausing long enough to let meaningful moments become part of us, instead of always rushing towards the next experience.

We also talk about ceremony as something communal and alive. From dancing on hot coals to finding joy through music, movement and celebration, Lottie invites us to see ritual not as performance, but as relationship.

There is laughter here, but also honesty about what an unconventional life can cost. Lottie reflects on letting go of security, expectation and the need for other people’s approval, while learning to love hard and live more fully.

In this conversation, we explore:

• Why meaningful experiences need time to settle
• What ceremony can teach us about joy and connection
• The cost of living outside traditional expectations
• Why firewalking can be about relationship, not conquest
• How small risks can lead to a richer life

To connect with Lottie:

Website: https://the-wild-soul-tribe.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LottieMooreOfficial/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wild.soul.tribe/

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OPPORTUNITIES TO WORK WITH SUE:

Coaching and Self-affirmation ceremony: Celebrate YOU!

Legacy exploration and coaching: The Eulogy Gap

______

PODCAST RESOURCES:

Download your free copy of Legacy Notes - now available for Seasons One & Two!

______

CONNECT WITH SUE:

Website: https://www.suerevell.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lifelovelegacy/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/suerevell_lifelovelegacy/

Blue Sky: https://bsky.app/profile/suerevell.bsky.social

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/suerevell

Substack: https://substack.com/@suerevell1

Sue Revell is a personal leadership coach, independent celebrant and the founder of Life, Love & Legacy. She helps people navigate defining moments, express what matters most and create lives and ceremonies that feel unmistakably their own.

Through meaningful conversations, personally crafted ceremonies and her I Gotta Be Me coaching work, Sue explores identity, belonging, purpose and the legacy we create while we’re still living.

We often avoid talking about death because it can feel like inviting darkness in, especially when life is challenging or even ebbing away.

But what if the opposite is true?

In this latest Insights episode, I reflect on my conversation with Katie Costello and the idea that talking more honestly about death can help us live a richer, fuller life.

It's not that talking gives us all the answers. Nor does it makes grief easier, or loss less painful, or life more predictable.

But it does bring us closer to what really matters, often at a time when it matters the most.

Katie’s work as a soul midwife, funeral celebrant and death educator offers a powerful reminder that some things in life can't be fixed. They can only be witnessed, honoured and met with presence.

So this episode isn't simply about death. It's about how we live alongside what is difficult. How we stop running from the conversations that matter. How we resist the urge to rescue, advise or make everything better. And how love sometimes looks like staying beside someone when there's no answer, no agenda and no route out.

Because perhaps a richer, fuller life isn't a life where we avoid the darkness.

Perhaps it's living in a way that we become less afraid to sit beside it.

In this episode, I reflect on:

• why talking about death does not diminish life

• what Katie’s work teaches us about presence

• the difference between helping and fixing

• why we often fear saying the wrong thing

• how unanswered questions can add pain to grief

• why love does not always arrive with answers

If Katie’s interview (Ep 19) invited us to talk more openly about death, this episode asks what those conversations might teach us about being more fully alive.

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OPPORTUNITIES TO WORK WITH SUE:

Coaching and Self-affirmation ceremony: Celebrate YOU!

Legacy exploration and coaching: The Eulogy Gap

______

PODCAST RESOURCES:

Download your free copy of Legacy Notes - now available for Seasons One & Two!

______

CONNECT WITH SUE:

Website: https://www.suerevell.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lifelovelegacy/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/suerevell_lifelovelegacy/

Blue Sky: https://bsky.app/profile/suerevell.bsky.social

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/suerevell

Substack: https://substack.com/@suerevell1

Sue Revell is a personal leadership coach, independent celebrant and the founder of Life, Love & Legacy. She helps people navigate defining moments, express what matters most and create lives and ceremonies that feel unmistakably their own.

Through meaningful conversations, personally crafted ceremonies and her I Gotta Be Me coaching work, Sue explores identity, belonging, purpose and the legacy we create while we’re still living.

What does love look like when someone is dying?

Not the polished, sentimental version of love. The real, human kind. The kind that sits at the bedside, makes the tea, starts the difficult conversation, writes three things on a Post-it note, or simply stays present when there is nothing to fix.

In this episode, I’m joined by Katie Costello, a multi-award-winning soul midwife, funeral celebrant and death educator whose work is rooted in choice, autonomy and love before, during and after death.

Together, we talk about death and dying in a way that is honest, practical and deeply human. Katie shares what it means to work alongside people at the end of life, why presence can matter more than perfect words, and how open conversations can spare those we love an unnecessary layer of pain when the time comes.

But this is also a conversation about becoming.

Katie speaks beautifully about trusting the doors that close, learning to stop apologising for who she is, and recognising the deeper wisdom that guides her work. We explore the difference between fixing and witnessing, between fear and love, and between talking about death as something morbid and talking about it as part of living well.

In this episode, we explore:

• what a soul midwife or death doula really does

• why death is a labour, not a single moment

• the courage to stay present when we cannot fix things

• how small conversations can become acts of love

• the weight of unanswered questions in grief

• what it means to live, love and leave legacy with intention

Because the legacy of love isn’t only found in what we leave behind.

It’s in what we are brave enough to say, share and honour while we’re still here.

To connect with Katie:

Website: https://www.katiecsoulmidwife.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/katiecsoulmidwife

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/katiecsoulmidwife/

LInkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/katie-costello-endoflife/

Katie's book: "The Gift"

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OPPORTUNITIES TO WORK WITH SUE:

Coaching and Self-affirmation ceremony: Celebrate YOU!

Legacy exploration and coaching: The Eulogy Gap

______

PODCAST RESOURCES:

Download your free copy of Legacy Notes - now available for Seasons One & Two!

______

CONNECT WITH SUE:

Website: https://www.suerevell.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lifelovelegacy/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/suerevell_lifelovelegacy/

Blue Sky: https://bsky.app/profile/suerevell.bsky.social

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/suerevell

Substack: https://substack.com/@suerevell1

Sue Revell is a personal leadership coach, independent celebrant and the founder of Life, Love & Legacy. She helps people navigate defining moments, express what matters most and create lives and ceremonies that feel unmistakably their own.

Through meaningful conversations, personally crafted ceremonies and her I Gotta Be Me coaching work, Sue explores identity, belonging, purpose and the legacy we create while we’re still living.

What if the thing we're most afraid of losing is also the thing we're most afraid to let ourselves have?

In my conversation with Tom Fitzsimons, he spoke with extraordinary honesty about only now beginning to understand love. About learning to say it, receive it and trust it. About the fear that can grow when loving people becomes closely tied to losing them.

That stayed with me.

Because fear rarely announces itself as fear. Sometimes it sounds like caution. Independence. Self-protection. Sometimes it persuades us to say less, hold back more and keep one foot outside the thing we most want to trust.

In this Insights episode, I reflect on what it means to choose love anyway.

Not recklessly. Not by abandoning ourselves. But by noticing where fear may be making decisions on our behalf.

I explore:

• why love can become frightening after loss
• how self-protection can quietly become distance
• what it means to trust someone who sees our potential before we do
• the courage of borrowing another person’s belief
• Zoe’s beautiful phrase about “living around Tom’s edges”
• whether love can be learned, practised and trusted again

Tom’s story reminds us that refusing to name love does not protect us from loss. It only risks leaving the most important things unsaid.

This episode is for anyone who has ever confused distance with safety, caution with wisdom, or silence with strength.

Because love may be scary. But a life shaped by fear leaves too much love unlived.

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OPPORTUNITIES TO WORK WITH SUE:

Coaching and Self-affirmation ceremony: Celebrate YOU!

Legacy exploration and coaching: The Eulogy Gap

______

PODCAST RESOURCES:

Download your free copy of Legacy Notes - now available for Seasons One & Two!

______

CONNECT WITH SUE:

Website: https://www.suerevell.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lifelovelegacy/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/suerevell_lifelovelegacy/

Blue Sky: https://bsky.app/profile/suerevell.bsky.social

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/suerevell

Substack: https://substack.com/@suerevell1

Sue Revell is a personal leadership coach, independent celebrant and the founder of Life, Love & Legacy. She helps people navigate defining moments, express what matters most and create lives and ceremonies that feel unmistakably their own.

Through meaningful conversations, personally crafted ceremonies and her I Gotta Be Me coaching work, Sue explores identity, belonging, purpose and the legacy we create while we’re still living.

For Tom Fitzsimons, alcohol offered something he’d been searching for since childhood: belonging. After moving from Belfast to England and losing his father at just thirteen, he spent twenty years believing the world was against him, using drink, anger and violence to escape the grief and disconnection he didn’t know how to name.

Then running gave him another way forward.

Tom went from being unable to complete his first run without vomiting to completing the Marathon des Sables and then running 3,100 miles from San Francisco to New York in 100 days. But this isn’t simply a story about extraordinary endurance.

It’s a raw, honest conversation about addiction, recovery and the stigma that remains long after someone becomes sober. It’s about the loneliness of changing your life, the people who hold belief in us before we can hold it for ourselves, and the quieter work of becoming that continues when the cheering stops.

Tom also speaks movingly about the deaths that have shaped his life, his struggle to understand and express love, and the poetry that has become a new way to release what he once carried through running.

Together, we explore:

• Why belonging can sometimes lead us towards the very things that harm us

• The difference between what we want and what we truly need

• Why sobriety deserves to be noticed, honoured and celebrated

• The stigma still attached to addiction and mental ill health

• Learning to receive and express love when it hasn’t always felt safe

• Why creativity isn’t reserved for people who already call themselves artists

This is a conversation about survival, responsibility and second chances.

But perhaps most of all, it’s about holding on to a passion for life, despite the sadness.

To connect with Tom:

LInkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tom-fitzsimons-opportunity/Instagram:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=659801018

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tomfitz2014/

For more information about my new programme - Celebrate YOU!

https://bookme.name/MissionUnstoppable/lite/celebrate-you-tell-me-more

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OPPORTUNITIES TO WORK WITH SUE:

Coaching and Self-affirmation ceremony: Celebrate YOU!

Legacy exploration and coaching: The Eulogy Gap

______

PODCAST RESOURCES:

Download your free copy of Legacy Notes - now available for Seasons One & Two!

______

CONNECT WITH SUE:

Website: https://www.suerevell.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lifelovelegacy/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/suerevell_lifelovelegacy/

Blue Sky: https://bsky.app/profile/suerevell.bsky.social

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/suerevell

Substack: https://substack.com/@suerevell1

Sue Revell is a personal leadership coach, independent celebrant and the founder of Life, Love & Legacy. She helps people navigate defining moments, express what matters most and create lives and ceremonies that feel unmistakably their own.

Through meaningful conversations, personally crafted ceremonies and her I Gotta Be Me coaching work, Sue explores identity, belonging, purpose and the legacy we create while we’re still living.

There are moments when we know life cannot continue as it was.

Sometimes the threshold is unmistakable: a death, a relationship breaking open, a truth we can no longer avoid. At other times, it arrives quietly, as the growing realisation that who we’ve been can’t carry us into whatever comes next.

Season One of Life, Love & Legacy explored identity, visibility, alignment, kindness, truth and becoming more fully ourselves.

Season Two takes us deeper.

These conversations move through addiction and recovery, relationship rupture and repair, death and dying, grief, conflict, reconciliation, ceremony, ancestry, nature, community and transformation.

They ask what we do when something must be faced, honoured, released or remade, and what may become possible when life changes us.

In this short launch episode, I introduce the seven guests joining me this season:

Tom Fitzsimons

Motivational speaker, author, and former endurance athlete

Lottie Moore

Modern day medicine woman and guide

Monica Douglas

Conscious relationship mentor and minister

Penny Boycott

Celebrant, founder, community-builder and AMC Head of Learning

Katie Costello

Soul midwife, death educator and funeral celebrant

Jo Berry CBE

Peacebuilder, founder and international speaker

Richard Tyler

Soul therapist, poet, performer and Bard of Bath

Seven very different people, each bringing lived experience, wisdom and deeply human questions to the threshold.

Join me.

For more information about my new programme Celebrate YOU!

https://bookme.name/MissionUnstoppable/lite/celebrate-you-tell-me-more

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OPPORTUNITIES TO WORK WITH SUE:

Coaching and Self-affirmation ceremony: Celebrate YOU!

Legacy exploration and coaching: The Eulogy Gap

______

PODCAST RESOURCES:

Download your free copy of Legacy Notes - now available for Seasons One & Two!

______

CONNECT WITH SUE:

Website: https://www.suerevell.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lifelovelegacy/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/suerevell_lifelovelegacy/

Blue Sky: https://bsky.app/profile/suerevell.bsky.social

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/suerevell

Substack: https://substack.com/@suerevell1

Sue Revell is a personal leadership coach, independent celebrant and the founder of Life, Love & Legacy. She helps people navigate defining moments, express what matters most and create lives and ceremonies that feel unmistakably their own.

Through meaningful conversations, personally crafted ceremonies and her I Gotta Be Me coaching work, Sue explores identity, belonging, purpose and the legacy we create while we’re still living.

What if legacy is less about how we’re remembered and more about how we’re living now?

In this Season One finale, I’m looking back at seven conversations that explored identity, visibility, self-worth, kindness, success, truth and the courage to live more fully as ourselves.

What began as an experiment in creating a different kind of conversation became something much deeper. Again and again, the subject of love led us back to the relationship we have with ourselves: how we see ourselves, trust ourselves, express ourselves and stop abandoning ourselves in order to belong.

I revisit the central ideas from each guest conversation and its accompanying Insights episode, including what it means to be born pre-approved, the quiet cost of hiding who we are, the fine line between achievement and self-abandonment, and the courage to believe things can be different.

This episode is both a reflection on Season One and an invitation to return to the conversations that may be calling you now.

______

OPPORTUNITIES TO WORK WITH SUE:

Coaching and Self-affirmation ceremony: Celebrate YOU!

Legacy exploration and coaching: The Eulogy Gap

______

PODCAST RESOURCES:

Download your free copy of Legacy Notes - now available for Seasons One & Two!

______

CONNECT WITH SUE:

Website: https://www.suerevell.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lifelovelegacy/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/suerevell_lifelovelegacy/

Blue Sky: https://bsky.app/profile/suerevell.bsky.social

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/suerevell

Substack: https://substack.com/@suerevell1

Sue Revell is a personal leadership coach, independent celebrant and the founder of Life, Love & Legacy. She helps people navigate defining moments, express what matters most and create lives and ceremonies that feel unmistakably their own.

Through meaningful conversations, personally crafted ceremonies and her I Gotta Be Me coaching work, Sue explores identity, belonging, purpose and the legacy we create while we’re still living.