By Cliff Ravenscraft and Daphne Scott
The podcast currently has 31 episodes available.
In this episode, Cliff and Daphne explore the concept of emotional contagion, emphasizing how we can unconsciously adopt the negative views and emotional struggles of those around us. Drawing on the teachings of the Stoic philosopher Epictetus, they discuss the importance of emotional boundaries and how not to sabotage ourselves and also, how to suppor others, by avoiding absorbing the unproductive attitudes of others. This episode provided a deep dive into the intersection of emotional boundaries, ancient philosophy, and practical wisdom on how to remain emotionally balanced while offering support to others.
Key Takeaways: Cliff and Daphne explain how emotional contagion happens; highlighting that when we immerse ourselves in the negative narratives of others, we can unintentionally adopt their emotional states, leading to self-sabotage. In a writing from Epictetus, they break down the parts of the writing as it pertains to negative emotions with others and how we actually can be a friend to people by not getting on the negative emotions bus with them. They also discuss the importance of differentiating between the misfortune itself and the response someone chooses to adopt.
- Offering Support Without Being Pulled Down: They emphasized that, while it’s essential to show kindness and offer an empathetic ear to those in distress, it's equally important not to get dragged down by their negativity. The message was clear: offering genuine support means maintaining a healthy detachment and employing true listening and curiosity with others when they are struggling all the while seeing them as fully empowered beings who can solve their own issues.
- The Victim, Villain, and Hero: A central theme of the episode was the ‘drama triangle’ – the roles of victim, villain, and hero. The hosts explained how, when someone presents their troubles, there is a temptation to ‘play the hero’ to ease not only the other person’s discomfort but also our own. They emphasized that jumping into this role often results in perpetuating a disempowering narrative.
If you want a good laugh that represents the topic of how we see certain events in life, watch this link: The Shining as a RomCom
The conversation then shifted to how we sabotage ourselves by over-identifying with others' struggles, thereby indulging in negative thinking. The hosts pointed out that we can better serve ourselves and others by remaining detached and refraining from indulging in melodramatic reactions.
- Empowerment Through Detachment:
A key takeaway from the episode was the idea that true kindness lies in believing others are capable of handling their own challenges. By maintaining a sense of detachment and not indulging in negative emotions, we empower others to find their own solutions.
-Conclusion:
The episode wrapped up with a reminder that emotional boundaries are crucial for both ourselves and those we care about. The hosts encouraged listeners to be mindful of how they engage with the troubles of others and to practice empathy without getting swept up in negativity.
If you are a new business owner or a business owner who would like to get even more results, Cliff is available to support you. Email him at [email protected] to get enrolled in his free business course and also to find out about his business mastermind group.
If you've struggled to find direction and keep feeling that you are getting pulled off course, Daphne has also has a great solution for you. You can gain access to her free Values and Purpose course where she walks you through a direct, simple and clear 4 step process to identify your values AND, write your own purpose statement. Email her at [email protected] to get more information and to get enrolled. It is free and yet, absolutely invaluable.
Episode 31: Choosing Wisdom in Ten Steps
In this insightful episode, Cliff and Daphne delve into the concept of wisdom and how we can consciously choose wiser paths in life. They explore the challenges of making wise decisions, particularly when it feels easier to take the unwise route. With a blend of humor and empathy, the hosts share ten practical steps to cultivate wisdom in our daily lives. Key Topics: 1. Understanding Emotional Inheritance: The first step towards wisdom is recognizing how our past influences our present and future decisions. The hosts discuss the importance of confronting and accepting this "emotional inheritance."
2. Recognizing the Limits of Willpower: Wisdom involves acknowledging that our thoughts and minds are not always reliable. We can't simply will ourselves into wisdom; it requires deeper understanding.
3. Unmasking True Feelings: Often, we hide our true emotions and evade what is really happening within us. Cliff and Daphne talk about the importance of facing these feelings head-on.
4. Interpreting Intentions Accurately: We often misinterpret others' words and actions, especially when we're tired, thirsty, or hungry. This step is about improving our interpretations to avoid unnecessary conflict.
5. Understanding Thoughts and Feelings: Differentiating between thoughts, feelings, and stories is crucial. The hosts explain how these elements work together to shape our reality.
6. Letting Go of Romantic Ideals:*The episode debunks the unrealistic ideals set by romanticism and encourages listeners to embrace "good enough" rather than striving for unattainable perfection.
7. Connecting Body and Mind: Wisdom is not just a mental process. The state of our body—whether we are well-rested, nourished, and comforted—greatly influences our mind and feelings.
8. Creating Space Before Reacting: This step emphasizes the power of pausing before reacting, allowing us to respond more patiently and wisely.
9. Holding Success and Failure Lightly: Circumstances change, and it's important to hold both victories and failures lightly, applying the same understanding to others.
10. Recognizing Fear's Influence: The final step is understanding that much of our worst behavior, and that of others, is driven by fear. Approaching these situations with calmness can lead to more constructive outcomes.
Bonus Step: The Art of Letting Go: Wisdom often requires us to let go of control and expectations repeatedly, a theme that ties together all the steps.
You can find out more about Cliff's Mastermind Group for entrepreuners at Next Level Mastermind.
Also, if you want more transformational thoughts and practices about managing our life in the face of work, join Daphne on Substack. Here is one of her most recents posts on overcoming the barriers to saying no.
In this episode Cliff and Daphne dive deep into the world of decision-making. They explore the idea that every choice we make—big or small—shapes our lives in significant ways. They challenge the conventional wisdom around decisions, discussing the fears, influences, and the psychology that governs how we make choices.
Firstly, they discuss the fear that most people have of making the wrong decision: How the fear of failure and loss of status influences our choices.
They discuss the factors that influence and impact the results of our decisions as well, such as:
-The concept of Bounded Rationality: The concept that our decision-making is limited by the information we have, the time constraints we face, and our cognitive limitations.
- Cultural and Societal Influences: The role of status and the avoidance of shame in shaping our decisions. - Practical Wisdom: How ancient and modern philosophies can guide us to make better decisions, emphasizing the balance between logic, evidence, and personal values.
- Existential Responsibility: The idea that our decisions define who we are and the importance of taking responsibility for our choices.
Key Takeaways to assist us in making decisions:
-Understand Your Values:Aligning decisions with personal values and goals is crucial to supporting our learning, our vision for the future and to support a fulfilling life.
- Regular Reflection: Reflecting on past decisions helps us understand our true motivations and make better future choices.
- Consider Risks and Outcomes: Practical wisdom involves assessing potential risks and preparing for different outcomes.
- Embrace Responsibility: Accepting that every decision shapes our essence encourages mindful and deliberate choices. Responsability is simply our ability to respond to change and things that arise in the moment, without blame, judgement and criticsm of ourselves and as importantly, others.
Quote of the Episode: “You make your best decision with the information you have available, the time you have available, and by understanding that we are going to have cognitive limits. Therefore, you really can’t ever get it ‘wrong.- Daphne
Connect with Us: You can find Cliff at Cliff Ravenscraft. And email him with the subject line 'Values" if you would like the free document he created based on the values exercise he talks about on the show.
You can find Daphne at Daphne Scott and get her book, "Waking Up A Leader: The Five Relationships of Success". You can also subscribe to more of her writing on Substack at https://dsleadershiplife.substack.com/.
Continue to join us each week as we support you to choose your own adventure!
Ep 28: Choose (It) Yourself: Imagination, Courage, Confidence
In this episode of Life: The Ultimate Choose Your Own Adventure Game, Cliff and Daphne dive deep into the concept of choosing oneself. Drawing inspiration from the popular phrase "treat yo’self" from Parks and Recreation, they explore the importance of self-empowerment through three key lenses: Imagination, Courage, and Confidence.
Imagination: The first step in creating the life you want is to imagine it. Whether it's public speaking, running a company, or leading a group, it all starts with a vision. Cliff and Daphne stress the importance of creating your own vision, rather than letting others define it for you.
Courage: Courage is the dividing line between success and mediocrity. Using the analogy of putting in golf, the hosts emphasize that without the courage to take action, success is impossible. Courage is the fuel that propels your vision into reality.
Confidence: Confidence is often misunderstood. Cliff and Daphne debunk the myth that only certain people are "pre-ordained" for success. They argue that a lack of confidence is essentially internalized futility, where people believe they need permission to succeed. Instead, they advocate for self-confidence rooted in the understanding that everyone has the potential to succeed in their vision and dreams.
Quote of the Episode: "Don't quit your daydream."-Cliff
Closing Thoughts: Cliff and Daphne encourage listeners to take the reins in their lives by imagining their future, summoning the courage to pursue it, and cultivating the confidence to believe in their own potential.
Stay connected with us at www.cliffravenscraft.com and at www.daphne-scott.com
Until next time, choosing yo'self! ---
Episode 027: How and Why to Say No
Welcome back to Life: The Ultimate Choose Your Own Adventure Game, where your hosts, Cliff Ravenscraft and Daphne Scott, guide you through the ever-changing landscape of life, one adventure at a time. As we kick off Season 2, we're diving into a topic that resonates deeply with everyone: learning to say "no."
In this episode, we explore the power of saying "no" and why mastering this skill is essential for your well-being. Whether you're feeling overwhelmed by chronic stress or just trying to maintain balance, this episode has something for you. Daphne and Cliff delve into the transactional and transformational aspects of "no," discussing how it can protect your energy, clarify your priorities, and ultimately lead to more meaningful "yes" moments. You'll learn why saying "no" isn't just about setting boundaries; it's about cultivating a life of intention.Join us as we navigate this critical life skill and ensure you're playing the game of life on your terms.
We also discuss the common fears associated with saying "no," such as disappointing others or being seen as a jerk, and how to overcome these challenges. Practice a slow "yes" and a quick "no" this month, and discover how this simple shift can transform your life.
Key Takeaways:
- Why saying "no" is crucial for preventing burnout and overwhelm.
- The importance of clear boundaries for a more intentional life. - Strategies for overcoming the fear of disappointing others.
- How to practice and get comfortable with saying "no."
Quote to Remember: Every "no" is a "yes" to something else and every "yes" is a "no" to something too.
Connect with Us: Visit Cliff at https://www.cliffravenscraft.com) and Daphne at https://www.daphne-scott.com for more insights and resources.
Thanks for joining us on this episode of Life: The Ultimate Choose Your Own Adventure Game. Stay tuned for more episodes, and until next time, remember that saying "no" is a powerful choice that leads to a more fulfilling "yes."
In this episode of "Life: The Ultimate Choose Your Own Adventure Game," podcast, hosts Daphne and Cliff wrap up the first season with a reflective discussion on the key takeaways from their 26-week journey. They delve into the profound concept of life and its complexities, discussing how different practices and philosophies have influenced their perspectives. The hosts explore topics such as the Five Levels of Attachment by Don Miguel Ruiz Jr., the importance of mindfulness, and the interplay between emotions and thoughts. They share personal anecdotes and insights on how to navigate emotional states, the role of a compelling vision, and the interconnectedness of various practices and modalities. The episode concludes with a heartfelt thank you to their listeners and a promise of more adventures in the upcoming season.
1. Introduction:
- Reflecting on the journey of Season 1.
- The profound concept of life and its complexities.
2. Five Levels of Attachment:
- Discussion on Don Miguel Ruiz Jr.'s book "The Five Levels of Attachment."
- The metaphor of the Five Levels and their impact on our lives.
- Personal insights from Cliff on his reading experience.
3. Mindfulness:
- Mindfulness as a fluid and evolving practice.
- Different ways to practice mindfulness in daily life.
- The significance of being present in the moment.
4. Navigating Emotional States:
- Differentiating between feelings and thoughts.
- Identifying and managing emotional states.
- Personal experiences of dealing with emotions.
5. Appreciation and Reframing:
- The importance of trading expectations for appreciation.
- How reframing perspectives can transform experiences.
- Personal stories of shifting mindsets.
6. Compelling Vision:
- The role of a compelling vision in personal and professional growth.
- Creating a vision for the next three to six months.
- The impact of having a clear direction and purpose.
7. Interconnectedness of Practices:
- Integrating various practices and modalities.
- Creating personalized frameworks for growth.
- The iterative nature of personal development.
8. Conclusion:
- Gratitude for the listeners’ support throughout the season.
- Announcing the return of the podcast in the fall with Season 2.
- Encouraging listeners to stay subscribed and connected.
Get your free handout here of this season's summary that you can print and put the practices, into practic.
Additional Resources:
- Subscribe to Daphne’s mailing list at www.daphne-scott.com and also get the Feedback Toolkit to support you and your teams. Giving feedback is one of the most challenging things any great leader must do to support the growth and development of their team and overall success. This toolkit offers the tips, tricks and skills for maximal effectiveness for any leader.
You can also find Daphne's writings at DS Leadership Life-Thrive in the 9-5 where she discusses all topics at the intersection of work and life.
Join Cliff’s email newsletter at https://www.cliffravenscraft.com for free access to the "All Beliefs Have Consequences" keynote and the Free the Dream course.
Check out the Train with Cliff Audio Journal for behind-the-scenes insights and personal growth content at Train With Cliff Audio Journal. Get your subscription now for the next ninety-days at $25.00 a month.
Stay tuned for Season 2 starting in the fall, with fresh content and new adventures.
In this thought-provoking episode of "Life: The Ultimate Choose Your Own Adventure Game," hosts Cliff Ravenscraft and Daphne Scott delve into the metaphor of "getting off the bus" to explore themes of personal freedom and choice. Through the lens of a vivid dream recounted by Daphne, the discussion centers on the critical moments when we decide to diverge from our usual paths to pursue new opportunities.
The episode examines the concepts of 'freedom from' and 'freedom to,' highlighting the non-linear nature of personal growth and the importance of challenging conventional beliefs about success. It's a deep dive into how stepping away from societal expectations can lead to profound self-discovery and redefine what it means to achieve success and fulfillment. The hosts encourage listeners to rethink their own journeys, ponder what they truly want, and consider the radical possibilities that come from choosing their unique paths.
We discuss the idea of moving the negative out of our life as not being a gaurantee that we will experience the positive and why it might do just the opposite, we discuss the power of choosing what we really want and also, why focusing on the 'how' can stop us from moving in the direction of our experiences.
You will want to listen to this episode if you've been considering making any sort of change in your life whatsoever.
We also announce that we will bring this season of the show to a close in our next episode and return in the fall.
If you are interested in taking your life and your business to the next level, be sure to join Cliff on his podcast, The Cliff Ravenscraft Show Podcast.
If you're looking to transform your experience around money, time, your identity, friendships and stepping into the unknown, Daphne invites you to purchase her book Waking Up A Leader: The Five Relationships of Success. This book is a roadmap that guides you to consider what you really want in life and gives you the steps to embrace living your life with intention and action.
In this week's episode we are talking about life on easy street and why that may not be exactly what we are desiring. We take a few different perspectives as we look at this concept through the lens of Ferris Bueller's Day Off as well as through our needs of certainty and uncertainty (variety). When we experience an overwhelming amount of uncertainty and feel as though our skills can't meet the challenges of life, we experience more emotions of anxiety and overwhelm. However, when our variety in life becomes too little and predictable, our skills aren't able to be utilized in a manner in which we are engaged and can experience flow. We discuss how our levels of responsibility in life and the degrees in which we take on more or less impact our life satisfaction. We also discuss the ways in which challenges and even the more extreme versions of our lives can create connection with others and a sense of overcoming obstacles that enriches our life.
If you haven't checked out Daphne's writing on Substack that is here to support you to Thrive in the 9-5, you can find it here and subscribe to read more of her publications. DS Leadership Life on Substack
If you are a coach who wants to take your coaching business and your coaching expertise to the next level, Cliff is here to support your transformation. He will up your game to be sure. You can join his Next Level Coaching Program by going to Professional Coaching Path.
Join us for next week's episode and keep choosing your own adventure.
This week's episode is all about being present and what that can mean for our lives. We discuss what it means not to be present and what that looks like and feels like. We discuss what it means to be in a threatened state and how distraction can also be a form of resisting what is occurring and takes us away from being present. We explore research by Killingsworth and also mention the book "Flow" as two forms of data to support our understanding and why being present matters in our life. We discuss the identity and ego as a means of keeping us from being fully present as well to our full possibilities in life, how we can miss the point of personality profiling tests, briefly discuss the enneagram and also how to bring greater presence into our daily lives through meditation and mindfulness practices that include journaling, vipassana meditation and visualization techniques.
Matt Killingsworth and Being Present Ted Talk
Flow Ted Talk with Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
Daphne invites you to follow her on Substack at this link. She is creating transformational writing for leaders in organizations and life: Substack on DSLeadership Life
Cliff would like to invite you to reach out to him if you are a successful business leader transitioning into a new role in life and work. Transitions can be difficult without the right support and mindset to move through an identity shift and intentionally create your next path. You may email him at [email protected].
This week's show is all about the practice of equanimity and how we might incorporate this to navigate the game of life. As we've worked with clients in our coaching practices, we both hear from them regularly that they would like to experience more balance. Often times, the balance they are speaking about is the balance of emotions in their lives and to be able to find this balance no matter what things are occurring. Equanimity is the way to this experience.
We discuss how we get attached to things going a certain way in our lives, the dangers of getting too excited about happenings and how we can practice and maintain our equanimity within all of life's circumstances. We discuss the experience of impermanence and how the coming and going of experience is as impersonal as anything else in our lives. We also discuss the benefit of coming to our life's journey with a plan and how that fits into the practice of equanimity. As we explore the topic we give five tips to practice equanimity with mindfulness, recognizing our emotions in the moment and even giving ourselves compassion and grace when we don't feel as successful with our practice as we could.
As a call to action, be sure to go to Mindset Answer Man to get access to Cliff's free course to change your business and change your life!
You can also leave us a comment and ask us a question at: Contact Cliff and Daphne. We would love to hear from you!
The podcast currently has 31 episodes available.
333 Listeners