authentic presence

sharing traumas

You're much better than you think you are.

You're a good person.

An MK childhood in the Philippines collides with a rough return to Texas. Dorm chaos, depression, and purity rules set the fuse. Years later, working as a bouncer, Jim realizes the anger that kept him safe is costing him peace. He turns toward honesty, community, and a kinder ethic. For MKs who grew up between worlds, his path names the tug between armor and openness—and the slow work of healing.

In this conversation, Caleb and Kyumin sit down with Clare, whose story stretches from Faith Academy in the Philippines to Lancaster, England, where she now serves as a priest and chaplain at a secular university.

Clare grew up as a missionary kid in institutional settings where “normal” family life was replaced by dorms, rules, and carefully managed emotions. Early boarding school experiences meant systemic homesickness, distance from parents, and the sense that her own feelings weren’t safe to express.

After returning to the UK, Clare wrestled with what it meant to belong anywhere—culturally, spiritually, or emotionally. Her journey included a difficult time at university marked by a suicide attempt, a later diagnosis of bipolar disorder, and even a heart attack tied to undiagnosed heart issues. Along the way, she found therapy that helped her name what had happened and begin to claim her own story.

Now a chaplain in a secular university context, Clare lives in the tension of loving parts of the Christian tradition while refusing to stay silent about harm—especially around sexuality, power, and mental health. She talks openly about leaving a toxic local church, learning to listen to her body, and discovering practices like meditation and yoga that help her manage ADHD and her drive for risk and adrenaline.

Together, Clare, Caleb, and Kyumin explore what it means to hold onto the heart of Jesus’ teachings—solidarity with the marginalized, resistance to empire and militarism—while walking away from the systems that try to own those teachings.

This episode is for anyone who’s ever sat in a pew wondering if they’re the only one thinking, “If this is supposed to be good news, why does it feel so crushing?” and for MKs who are still trying to figure out what “home” and “faith” might look like on their own terms.

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In This Episode, We Talk About:

• Growing up as a missionary kid at Faith Academy and in other institutional settings

• The impact of early boarding school life: limited contact with parents, systemic homesickness, and “acceptable” emotions

• Returning to the UK and trying to fit into a culture that didn’t quite feel like home

• University years, suicidality, and being diagnosed with bipolar disorder

• Surviving a heart attack and learning to listen to her body’s warnings

• How ADHD, adrenaline-seeking, and risk have shaped Clare’s life—and how practices like meditation and yoga help her regulate

• Becoming a priest and university chaplain in England and working in a largely secular context

• Leaving a toxic local church and choosing herself, even when others might not understand

• Why some Christian counseling can be harmful—and Clare’s caution about “Christian therapists” focused more on conversion than care

• Reconciling her understanding of Jesus with the politics of empire, militarism, and state-church entanglement

• What a more spacious, honest, and compassionate faith looks like for her now

In this episode of Life Unwasted, Kyumin and Caleb talk with Micah, a Brazilian missionary kid who grew up between West Africa and South America, in dangerous neighborhoods and strict boarding schools. Micah shares what it meant to live between cultures, lose a close friend in high school, and slowly reevaluate — and ultimately leave — the faith that shaped his childhood. Join us for this incredible interview with another fantastic missionary kid…

In This Episode, We Talk About:

• Micah’s parents’ experience of being sent to boarding school in Senegal at a very young age

• Growing up Brazilian while being educated in Western, evangelical school systems

• Learning English quickly and living in a part of Africa where daily life included real danger

• Attending a New Tribes boarding school in Brazil and what that environment was like

• The death of a close high school friend and how that loss shaped Micah’s view of God, risk, and calling

• What it feels like to live “between cultures” without a clear sense of home

• Micah’s outside-looking-in view of American white evangelicalism

• The long, quiet process of questioning and eventually leaving the church

• How he’s now thinking about meaning, community, and his own story on the other side of faith

In Season 8, Episode 2 of Life Unwasted, Kyumin and Caleb talk with Josh about the long, messy work of making sense of your story when faith, family, and “calling” were all tangled together.

Together, we explore what it’s like to carry experiences you were never given language for, how shame and silence can shape a kid’s whole world, and what healing can look like years later when you finally start telling the truth — to yourself and to others.

This conversation sits right in the heart of what Life Unwasted is about:

• making space for stories that were minimized or dismissed,

• honoring the kid you used to be, and

• imagining a future where your voice, your boundaries, and your body actually matter.

Whether you grew up as a missionary kid, pastor’s kid, or simply in a high-control religious home, Josh’s honesty and reflection might give you new words for your own experience — and remind you that you’re not alone in trying to untangle it all.

In This Episode, We Talk About:

• Growing up in a religious environment where certain feelings weren’t allowed

• The quiet ways kids learn to “disappear” to keep adults happy

• How spiritual language can be used to explain away harm

• The cost of speaking the truth about what happened — and the freedom it can bring

• What healing looks like when you’re still connected to people and places from your past

• Learning to listen to your body, your boundaries, and your intuition

• Finding community with others who “get it”

Summary
Caleb and Kyumin, both former missionary kids, sit down with filmmaker Ari Ali, creator of Ben Between Africa. Ari tells the story of trying to understand her mother’s MK experience and what that journey opened up inside their family. We talk about love, calling, silence, and what it takes to start real conversations at home. This episode is for MKs, parents, and anyone curious about the long arc of repair.

Why this matters
MK stories often live in the gaps between what happened and what was ever said. Ari’s film gives language and shape to those gaps. This conversation explore show art can help families tell the truth, keep dignity, and stop passing pain forward.

Topics we cover

·      What Ari set out to learn about her mom, and what surprised her

·      How filming changed the way their family talks about their past

·      Boarding school, separation, and attachment

·      The line between honoring a calling and naming a cost

·      What MK parents can do today to break cycles

·      Practical steps for more authentic conversations at home

Resources mentioned

·      Ben Between Africa (film): https://www.benbetweenafrica.com/

·       The Missionary Kids: Unmasking the Myths of White Evangelicalism (Book): https://www.broadleafbooks.com/store/product/9798889832034/The-Missionary-Kids

This episode centers on Rachel’s deeply personal story of survival, recovery, and breaking generational cycles of abuse within a fundamentalist missionary family. Rachel recounts growing up in a controlling religious environment, being sexually abused by her brother, and later manipulated by her father, a missionary who isolated her from her mother under false pretenses. Her story mirrors those of previous generations—her mother and grandmother suffered similar abuse and silencing within the church. Rachel’s eventual marriage to a pastor repeated these cycles of control, religious hypocrisy, and suppression of her voice. After years of emotional trauma and illness, she experiences a profound physical and spiritual reckoning, ultimately finding strength to leave her abusive marriage in 2022. With the help of a few trusted friends, she rebuilds her life, opening her first bank account at 39, reclaiming her autonomy, and beginning to help other women facing similar oppression. She reflects on the hypocrisy of religious systems that shield abusers and silence victims, contrasting these with her rediscovery of authentic faith and community. The metaphor of the “Phoenix” recurs throughout her story—a symbol of rebirth, healing, and empowerment.

The podcast hosts emphasize the need for systemic accountability in the church and celebrate Rachel’s courage as an act of collective liberation.

Key takeaways include the intergenerational impact of trauma, the psychological and physical toll of silence, the power of truth-telling, and the transformative potential of supportive relationships.

Go family!

Durian!

Toss salad!