Life/Death/Law

Emily Nagoski, PhD,  and her sister Amelia Nagoski, DMA, authors of the new book, Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle, know all about accomplishment -- Emily is the author of the New York Times best-seller, Come as You Are: the surprising new science that will transfrom your sex life, and Amelia is a professor of music and a classical conductor. They also know, first hand, about the feelings of emotional overwhelm and exhaustion that can come with that accomplishment, so they wrote a book about how to overcome it.

Death and dying are incredibly stressful moments in a family's life and many women are the caretakers for the old and sick. I asked Emily and Amelia to be on Life/Death/Law because feelings of overwhelm, trying to control the uncontrollable, and feeling isolated and sad are so common for the people that I work with--I think Burnout is a must read for just about everyone.

In this episode of Life/Death/Law, join us for a long-ranging discussion of why women experience burnout differently than man do, and some simple things that you can do to minimize stress, manage your emotions and live your life with resilience and joy. (You will also find out why babies love to be bounced!)

Forget about slavishly meeting everyone else's expectations or feeling inadequate when you can't manage the impossible! Instead, Emily and Amelia speak eloquently about how to manage the body's stress cycle and why rest and human connection are the key to recovering your inner strength and to managing difficult circumstances with compassion and grace.

To learn more about Burnout, go here: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com

To learn more about Emily and Amelia Nagoski, to here:https://www.prhspeakers.com/speaker/amelia-emily-nagoski

To learn more about Emily Nagoski, go to www.emilynagoski.com

 

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In this episode of Life/Death/Law Elizabeth Mattis Namgyel, author of The Power of an Open Question and The Logic of Faith, joins me for a wonderful conversation on finding grace in a world we can't control.

A longtime buddhist practitioner and worldwide teacher, she brings humor, insight and compassion to the issues we all face as human beings: how to find faith and live with grace in a life that is short and full of challenge?

 “As long as you are breathing and your heart is pumping in your chest, you will never escape the need ‘to faith,’ and why would you want to? The human predicament literally pushes at you day after day, calling to your courage and intelligence, imploring you to pay attention to life as it is, urging you to let go into humbleness. How long can you ignore it?”

If you've ever found yourself overwhelmed or powerless in the face of old age, sickness and death (and who hasn't?) listen to what Elizabeth has to say about finding grace in the most ordinary truths of our human lives.

To learn more about Elizabeth's work, go to her website:

https://www.elizabethmattisnamgyel.com/

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Dara Kosberg, is the Director of Programming for the Reimagine End of Life Conference, beginning October 27, in New York. It will be a city-wide event that will include over 300 events, 60 Interactive Rituals, 32 performances, and 15 comedy shows.

Dara is also a member of the Founding Team for The Dinner Party, a community of mostly 20-30 somethings who have each experienced profound loss and connect around potluck dinners to talk about it.

Dara's vision is vast. She's on a mission to break down taboos in society around death and loss. She believes that the experience of loss and the exploration of death can be catalysts to build more meaningful connections and a more meaningful life. Join us in this episode of Life/Death/Law as Dara discusses her creative and inspiring work in helping people to connect and talk about death, dying, and, most importantly, living.

In this episode of Life/Death/Law, Michael Hebb, the founder of Death Over Dinner, discusses his new book, Let's Talk About Death (Over Dinner): An Invitation and Guide to Life's Most Important Conversation.

Since he founded Death Over Dinner in 2013, more than 100,000 dinners have been served where people have sat down together over a home-cooked meal to talk, really talk, about what they do and don't want at the end of their lives, and what they can do, now, to make both their lives and their deaths more meaningful for themselves and their loved ones.

Michael is 100% right when he says that how we end our lives is the most important and costly conversation America is not having. If you have ever wondered how to get that conversation started, either for yourself or for someone you love, please listen.

In this episode, award-winning journalist and author Katy Butler discusses her newest book, The Art of Dying Well, as well as her memoir, Knocking on Heaven's Door, two books about meeting aging and death with grace, intelligence, and resilience.

If you have ever struggled with how best to support a loved one as they confront old age, sickness, and death, or wondered what you can do, now, to make sure that your old age is as independent and healthy as possible and that your death be a natural one surrounded by love, listen to Katy Butler. 

In this episode of Life/Death/Law, Dr. Jessica Zitter, author of Extreme Measures: Finding a Better Path to the End of Life, talks openly and honestly about how to communicate with your doctors about what you or a loved one wants, and doesn't want, for end of life care; how to pick the right person to act as your health care agent and make medical decisions for you; and what palliative care can offer those facing chronic illness. But more than that, she is a compassionate and articulate voice for changing the way that people die in this country and the role that the medical profession can play in improving end of life care. I loved talking to her and I think you'll love listening.

She is Harvard and UCSF-trained to practice the unusual combination of Critical and Palliative Care medicine.  She works as an Attending Physician at a public hospital in Oakland, California.

She is a regular contributor to The New York Times and her articles have appeared in The Atlantic, Time Magazine, Journal of the American Medical Association, The Washington Post and many other publications.

Dr. Zitter’s work is featured in the Academy and Emmy-nominated short documentary “Extremis,” available on Netflix. Her media appearances include CBS Sunday Morning, NPR’s Fresh Air with Terry Gross, The Doctors, The Leonard Lopate Show, and a Dr. Oz special, “The Death Show.”

If you've ever been frustrated with a doctor that doesn't listen to you and wondered how to talk to them effectively, or worried about who to name as your health care agent, or are interested in finding out more about palliative care, please listen to this episode.

To learn more about Dr. Zitter, please go to her website., www.jessicazitter.com.

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In this episode of Life/Death/Law, join me for a conversation with Dr. Shoshana Ungerleider, a physician, speaker, writer, activist, and the force behind two amazing movies about end of life: Extremis and End Game, both available on Netflix (so watch them!).

Dr. Ungerleider also (when not producing movies and making social change) works as an internist practicing hospital medicine at California Pacific Medical Center in San Francisco. She received her medical degree from Oregon Health & Science University in Portland, OR and completed residency at California Pacific Medical Center where she is now on the teaching faculty and serves on the Executive Board of the Foundation Board of Trustees.

Extremis, which is about end of life decision making in the ICU at Oakland's Highland Hospital, won best Documentary Short at the Tribeca Film Festival in 2017, and was nominated for an Academy Award and two Emmies. End Game recently premiered at Sundance, and is about palliative care and end of life planning in the face of terminal illness, and was filmed at UCSF and Zen Hospice, in San Francisco. Both movies are heartfelt, engaging, honest and important. They show, without preaching, how important it is for your loved ones to know what you do and don't want at end of life and how palliative care and hospice can add quality to that time.

Dr. Ungerleider is also the founder of the End Well conference, which will take place on December 6, 2018 in San Francisco. The conference is a dynamic convening of design, tech, health care, policy, media, the arts and activist communities committed to generating human-centered, interdisciplinary innovation for the end of life experience. I can't wait to attend.

If you would like to know more about how to prepare yourself or your loved ones for an empowered end of life, and how to talk to your family about what you do and don't want at the end of life, please listen to today's show.

 

Here are links to the resources that Dr. Ungerleider mentions on the show:

1. Go Wish-card game conversation starter.

2. Five Wishes Advance Directive.

3. Getpalliative.org - resources on palliative care

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In this episode of Life/Death/Law, Einat Sandman Clarke, Senior Counsel at Google LLC provides an inside look at how Google handles requests for digital assets (like emails, photos, and videos) after someone has died and discusses the broader legal landscape that governs all service providers facing requests to release digital communications belonging to their users.

Learn how to use Google's Inactive Account Manger to control access to your digital assets (like email,  videos, images, and documents) and why service providers (like Google, Apple, facebook, and Yahoo) can't give anyone access to your stored electronic communications without your consent, or a court order.

If you've ever worried about what will happen to your digital life after you die (and who hasn't), please listen.

To read more about Digital Estate Planning, download my free ebook.

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In this episode I'm taking to Dr. Muffie Weibe Waterman, author of Wired to Listen, a book about how what we say to kids, and don't, impacts the way that kids see the world and act in it. In her book, Dr. Waterman writes about how, and when, to talk to kids about the hard stuff; death, divorce, and sex--topics that we all struggle with addressing honestly and effectively with our kids. 

I asked her to be on the show because many of the people that I work with, and many of the people listening to this show, struggle with talking appropriately, and effectively, to kids (of all ages) about death and dying. These conversations can be around the death of a beloved grandparent, or about the process of estate planning, or, even, between adult children and elderly parents, about the reality of end of life planning.

If you have ever struggled with how to talk honestly and openly about death and dying with your children or your parents, and honestly, who hasn’t?, I think you’ll enjoy listening to today’s show.

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What is estate planning, really? I know that most lawyers focus on reducing taxes, or the creation of documents, but when you get down to it, what you’re really doing when you make an estate plan is giving everything away, right?

So, to me, understanding the practice of generosity and what gets in the way of being generous are central to effective estate planning, and who better to explore that territory than my guest for episode 3 of Life/Death/Law: Myoshin Kelley, an eloquent teacher on the key Buddhist teachings on the wisdom of opening the heart. Myoshin is a Senior Instructor with the Tergar Community, which supports the worldwide vision of Tibetan master meditation teacher and author Mingyur Rinpoche, tergar.org, and it is an honor to have her on the podcast.

If you’ve ever been curious about the practice of generosity or the value of it, or found yourself wanting to be generous but somehow holding yourself back, and wondered what was getting in your way, please listen.