Life’s Crazy

The day I moved my son to College brought back a ton of memories. 

It reminded me of my first day at the University of Southern California.

That was in the early 80's. What a difference 4 decades can make. 

I moved in an era of no cell phones, no internet or digital footprint.

He moved into a preordained existence of shangrila.

He and his roomate had facetimed and picked out shower curtains and towels.

What? 

I moved into a smog ridden war zone of crime and hobos begging for money. 

This is a story of two generations moving to college.

When I was young, we didn't have the internet. We had something better than the internet. We had a ball. A ball we could throw. A ball we could bounce. A ball we could shoot through a hoop. 

Today's kids need an invitation to play catch.

This new generation, lathered in internet connectivity and video brain lock, don't know what they are missing.

JULY 20, 1969. It marks the date of the singularly most amazing thing humankind has ever accomplished. 

Man Lands on the Moon! Many of us watched it live. 

Everyone of us has seen Neil Armstrong jump off the lunar lander and proclaim "One small step for man..."

Well, it seems that NASA knows how to land a rocket on the moon, but not save video. 

You heard me correctly. After all these years, NASA admits they have lost the original moon landings from 1969. 

Taped over the originals they say.

Are you kidding? What did they record over the moon landing with? LAVERNE AND SHIRLEY!

LIFE'S CRAZY™

Have you ever pondered existence? What happens in the end? Do we go to heaven? Do we spiral down a celestial worm hole or enigma?

When I lost an hour during daylight savings time, I wondered what does it all mean?

Remember the movie the Breakfast Club? The vice principal in that film, monitoring detention for Molly Ringwold and Judd Nelson was an actor by the name of Paul Gleason, aka V.P. Richard Vernon. 

Once at the crap table, I got hot with the bones, and principal Vernon spotted me chips to keep me throwing the dice.

It was the movie the hangover before the movie was even written. 

Masks work great in a surgical suite. Masks are a great idea if you know what the hell you are doing while wearing a mask. But for the rest of us morons, masks are just a reason to touch your face with a contaminated hand. I say if you can protest without a mask, then you can do anything else without a mask. Open Up America. Breathe long hard and free!

Machine Gun Scotty had a profound drinking problem. When he drank, his brain shut down. When he drank, he did stupid things like get into fights and swim in the fountain at Caesars Palace, in old Las Vegas.

This is one story of a man with a single brain cell in his head.

A Kid's shoe lace comes undone on the soccer field. The 10-year-old doesn't know how to tie his shoe because parents now-a-days coddle their kids. The mother races onto the field and ties her son's shoe while the action races around her. The crowd snickers. The Ref is anxious. All of us realize you Gotta Blame It On Velcro!

The Corona Virus. Enough all Ready. So much talk, so much data, so much we think we know. 

I don't think anyone knows anything. 

The country is shut down and nobody even knows how to wear a mask.

People are acting like sheep listening to people who proclaim to have the answers.

Are you sick of the Corona Virus all ready? 

Remember the 1st time you drove the family car with your dad hovering over you? Remember the anxiousness? The white knuckles? The indecision of the brake and the accelerator? Oh My God. Which is which.

This is a recount of the 1st time my 15 year old daughter drove our SUV through the city. 

It was a Linda Blair Exorcist, pea soup spitting adventure.