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Pregnancy Loss Month

In 1988, President Ronald Regan proclaimed October Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.

We promise to do a lighter subject soon, but we have been really feeling a lot of leading to talk about pregnancy loss and to bring awareness to pregnancy loss and how to manage it.  We also want to bring some awareness to those supporting the grieving parents and ways to support.  Lastly, helping get rid of the social stigma that just because someone is in a relationship, they need to get busy in the bedroom!

According to pregnancyafterlosssupport.org, in the United States, 1 out of every 4 pregnancies ends in miscarriage and 1 and every 160 pregnancies end in stillbirth. These numbers do not include infant death from preterm labor, diagnosis of life-limiting conditions, or SIDS.  So this happens all the time, sometimes we didn’t even know that we were pregnant and other times we were hit with emotional disappointment and crippling physical pain.  When you get pregnant, possibly after months of trying, then suffer a loss; there are so many emotions that you feel: hurt, failure, love, mourning, pain (emotional and physical)

Our experience: Nursing school, ectopic, infertility.

What Ryan felt:

How you feel helpless as a loved one of someone experiencing a loss.  You may not have even known that person was pregnant, but now you need to be there for them.  You want to say something to make it better, from my experience, there is nothing anyone can say.  Nothing.  Avoid empty promises, things like what can I do?  There is nothing you can do that will fix it, so come up with something…food, care packages, gift cards for restaurants or just sitting and being there, this can be different for everyone.  “God needed another angel” just shut up with that one, I am guilty of saying it too.  The truth is, God doesn’t need any of us, we need him.  Bad stuff happens, this is a bad world.

So, knowing that 1 in 4 pregnancies end is miscarriage, why, do we feel that it is perfectly acceptable to ask people if they are going to have kids??!!  It is none of your fucking business!  You never know what could be going on in someone’s bedroom, so just be a loving and supportive friend or family member.  Lets just stop this madness!

For us, we were able to, by the grace of God, have 2 amazing babies with 2 healthy pregnancies.  We just want people to know that they are not alone.

Action items:

Just love each other, stay out of each others bedrooms!

OCTOBER IS PREGNANCY, INFANT, AND CHILD LOSS AWARENESS MONTH, so hop over to https://pregnancyafterlosssupport.org/get-involved/pail-awareness-month-know-our-babies/ to see how you can help and to learn more.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

-Psalm 34:18

For You created my inmost being; You knit me in my mother's womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

-Psalm 139: 13-14 

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