Hello dear soul. Welcome back to the Lightbearer's Library for a new cozy chat—a sacred space for journaling and self-reflection. In this video, we're defining what makes a toxic family.

In this candid journal entry, I’m wrestling with the emotionally charged question: “What is a toxic family?” This conversation is not about labeling people as "bad," but about identifying and defining the unhealthy toxic dynamic that can exist in family relationships. I share my own journey of moving past the "rose-colored glasses" of memory and facing the reality of current dynamics.

If you’ve ever felt obligated, manipulated, or questioned whether to set a boundary with loved ones—especially around the holidays—this video is for you. We discuss why a relationship requires two people to actively want it, and how true self-growth sometimes means choosing the difficult path of saying "no, thank you."

I invite you to check in with your feelings and intuitions to set a conscious, intentional path for your life and your mental health.

✨ Remember, you are not alone in this. I'd love to hear your thoughts and insights in the comments below.

XOXO,

Kate Harmony

Next: 

▶️ In [It's okay to say no to Christmas](https://youtu.be/__K0vqfHwnU), I dive into the essential conversation about setting boundaries to protect your peace and mental health during the holiday season.

▶️Check out [Why the Golden Rule doesn’t work](https://youtu.be/ZDQd-hFtUkM) for a look at why treating others the way they want to be treated—not the way you want to be treated—is the foundation of healthy relationships and self-aware boundaries.

📖 Journal Notes

0:00 Welcome & Context: Why I Said No to Christmas

0:40 The Requirement for a Relationship to Grow

1:55 Why I Struggle with the Word "Toxic"

3:00 Defining the Toxic Dynamic, Not the People

4:30 The Moment I Realized the Golden Rule is Flawed

7:00 Finding True Self-Growth in Setting a Boundary

9:00 My Final Invitation to Intention & Self-Reflection

#toxicfamily #settingboundaries #mentalhealth #toxicdynamic #familydynamics #gaslighting #selfcare #personalgrowth #innerwork #sayingno #introvert #sensitivesoul #journaling #holidaystress #christmas #emotionalhealth #lightbearerslibrary

New to the Library? Start Here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLc92wjOKEZyEm1zOQ9XqjaFIa3E_lP7mS 

🌿 About Kate Harmony 🌿

My main channel (Hack Music Theory) has over 250K subscribers and 10 million views. I've been a full-time YouTuber since 2017 and launched this personal channel (Lightbearer's Library) in 2025, where I'm making video versions of my journal entries.

Some of my favourite topics to talk about are practical philosophy, positive psychology, and personality type (I'm an INFP). But honestly, my journals contain counter-cultural thoughts about everything, so expect the unexpected! I also share practical ways I'm improving my mental health, with the hope that you might find them useful too.

I deleted all my social media accounts over 10 years ago, so I offer a loving perspective that's free from the divisive language commonly found in feeds nowadays.

If this sounds like your cup of tea, then I warmly welcome you into the Lightbearer's Library. Stay for a while, and please remember to subscribe: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV2wps4NID9rrO08OuwZ5Lg?sub_confirmation=1

Hello dear soul, welcome to the Lightbearer's Library 🕊️

The holiday season brings an unspoken obligation to attend family gatherings. But for sensitive souls, spending time with toxic family or those who simply don't understand us can be genuinely harmful.

Join me in this journal entry as we explore why setting boundaries is the highest form of self-love and self-preservation. You have permission to choose your emotional peace over obligation. I share gentle scripts for a peaceful 'No,' and a guide to creating your own fulfilling, quiet sanctuary this Christmas.

✨  The Lightbearer's Challenge  ✨

Decide on one small, deliberate act of self-care to transform your quiet holiday into a personal sanctuary of peace , and share it with me in the comments below. It may also help others to know they are not alone in choosing peace this Christmas. 

▶️ Next 
If setting this boundary has opened space for your peace, let's make that peace last by moving into the deep work of How to heal emotional hurt: https://youtu.be/z4nro-vdABE

XOXO,
Kate Harmony

📖  Journal Notes
0:00 The Unspoken Obligation of the Holidays
1:25 Reframe: Saying No is an Act of Self-Preservation
3:10 The Gentle Exit: How to Set the Boundary
4:45 Creating Your Sanctuary: An Alternative Holiday

#toxicfamily #settingboundaries #sayingno #emotionalhealth #selfcare #holidaystress #lightbearerslibrary #christmas #personalgrowth #innerwork #journaling

🌿 About Me 🌿 

My main channel (Hack Music Theory) has over 250K subscribers and 10 million views. I've been a full-time YouTuber since 2017 and launched this personal channel (Lightbearer's Library) in 2025, where I'm making video versions of my journal entries.

Some of my favourite topics to talk about are practical philosophy, positive psychology, and personality type (I'm an INFP). But honestly, my journals contain counter-cultural thoughts about everything, so expect the unexpected! I also share practical ways I'm improving my mental health, with the hope that you might find them useful too.

I deleted all my social media accounts over 10 years ago, so I offer a loving perspective that's free from the divisive language commonly found in feeds nowadays.

If this sounds like your cup of tea, then I warmly welcome you into the Lightbearer's Library. Stay for a while, and please remember to subscribe: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV2wps4NID9rrO08OuwZ5Lg?sub_confirmation=1

Hello dear soul, welcome to the Lightbearer's Library 🕊️

Are you feeling anxious, fearful, angry or inadequate every time you scroll? You are not alone. We think we're just consuming content, but we're actually absorbing the emotional state of everything we see. And the truth is, a lot of what's in our feeds is designed to make us feel bad.

But we have the power to CUT IT OUT, and choose a more meaning-filled life.

In this journal entry, I share my personal Lightbearer's 7-Day Digital Detox Plan—a practical, week-long process for reclaiming your energy, setting healthy boundaries, and cultivating a truly nourishing online experience. This isn't just about disconnecting; it's about intentional self-care that leads to profound personal transformation. It's time to stop letting your feed dictate your feelings and start living a lighter, more authentic life.

✨  The Lightbearer's Challenge  ✨

Follow these steps to change your feed, change your life:

Days 1 & 2: The Sensitivity Audit Become hyper-aware of what is draining your energy. Which channels or posts trigger feelings of inadequacy, anger, or jealousy? You’ve got to identify the triggers before you can remove them.

Days 3 & 4: The Great Unfollow Take action. Unfollow, unsubscribe, and block every source from your audit list. This is an act of self-care and establishing non-negotiable digital boundaries. This practice is about you, not judging the content creator.

Days 5 & 6: Replenish Your Light Intentionally search for channels that genuinely uplift you, bring you joy, and inspire you to become the person you want to be. Focus on nourishment.

Day 7: Commitment to the Glow Commit to maintaining your new boundaries. If a piece of content makes you feel negative for even a moment, cut it out. Keep your light glowing!

Next  ▶️
If you are in a "sucky" chapter of life right now, your next step is to rewrite your inner narrative. Listen to this journal entry next: When life sucks: rewrite your story 

Or watch on YouTube here: https://youtu.be/ZX-xlBkvJAY

XOXO,
Kate Harmony

📖  Journal Notes
0:00 Welcome, Dear Soul
0:45 The Lightbearer's 7-Day Digital Detox Plan
1:00 Day 1 & 2: The Sensitivity Audit
2:10 Day 3 & 4: The Great Unfollow & Setting Boundaries
3:00 Day 5 & 6: Replenishing Your Light
4:00 Day 7: Committing to the Glow
4:45 Final Thoughts & Next Steps

#DigitalDetox #PersonalGrowth #SelfCare #SpiritualGrowth #Boundaries #Journaling #PersonalTransformation #MeaningfulLife #AnxietyRelief #AuthenticLiving #LightbearersLibrary

🌿 About Me 🌿 

My main channel (Hack Music Theory) has over 250K subscribers and 10 million views. I've been a full-time YouTuber since 2017 and launched this personal channel (Lightbearer's Library) in 2025, where I'm making video versions of my journal entries.

Some of my favourite topics to talk about are practical philosophy, positive psychology, and personalty type (I'm an INFP). But honestly, my journals contain counter-cultural thoughts about everything, so expect the unexpected! I also share practical ways I'm improving my mental health, with the hope that you might find them useful too.

I deleted all my social media accounts over 10 years ago, so I offer a loving perspective that's free from the divisive language commonly found in feeds nowadays.

If this sounds like your cup of tea, then I warmly welcome you into the Lightbearer's Library. Stay for a while, and please remember to follow on this platform or on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV2wps4NID9rrO08OuwZ5Lg?sub_confirmation=1

Hello dear soul, welcome to the Lightbearer's Library 🕊️

Are you sabotaging your biggest goals before you even start? In this journal entry, we're diving into the Saying vs. Doing Trap—a sneaky psychological phenomenon where announcing your goals gives your brain premature satisfaction, killing your real motivation. It’s like getting applause for a gym membership before you finish the marathon!

 We explore two powerful shifts: moving our focus from the goal to your identity as someone who takes action towards that goal, and how to master the "Show, Don't Tell" principle to ensure your progress is so undeniable that people notice before you've even shared a word. Learn how to use your journal as the sacred space to nurture your goals and turn the urge to speak into the fuel for your work. 

Let's choose showing vs telling to build the habits that will define our futures!

✨  The Lightbearer's Challenge  ✨

This week, commit to a high-priority goal, but keep it a secret from the world; your journal is your only confidant. Start by journaling your vision and the identity you are working to become. Then, every night record the one small, quantifiable action you did that day towards making your goal a reality. When the seven days are complete, come back and post #SilentAction in the comments to signal your silent progress!

Next  ▶️
To make the silent progress stick, you have to build a new identity, so watch this journal entry on why we should stop being ourselves, and take on a new identity: https://youtu.be/Snq4f3Jr-VM

XOXO,
Kate Harmony

#SelfImprovement #PersonalDevelopment #Productivity #GoalSetting #NewYearsResolution #HabitChange #AtomicHabits #IdentityShift #PsychologyOfSuccess #SilenceIsPower #Journaling #LightbearersLibrary

🌿 About Me 🌿 

My main channel (Hack Music Theory) has over 250K subscribers and 10 million views. I've been a full-time YouTuber since 2017 and launched this personal channel (Lightbearer's Library) in 2025, where I'm making video versions of my journal entries.

Some of my favourite topics to talk about are practical philosophy, positive psychology, and personalty type (I'm an INFP). But honestly, my journals contain counter-cultural thoughts about everything, so expect the unexpected! I also share practical ways I'm improving my mental health, with the hope that you might find them useful too.

I deleted all my social media accounts over 10 years ago, so I offer a loving perspective that's free from the divisive language commonly found in feeds nowadays.

If this sounds like your cup of tea, then I warmly welcome you into the Lightbearer's Library. Stay for a while, and please remember to follow.

Hello dear soul! I am so grateful you chose to spend this time with me in the Library today.🕊️

If you're feeling that your current "chapter" of life sucks right now, you are not alone. I hear you. In this journal entry, I share the single most powerful act of self-love we can take: rewrite our story.

The greatest and most precious story you'll ever author is your own, and if the current chapter feels like it sucks, you have the power to change your life and stop the suck!

Join me as we explore a simple, four-step process to edit your current chapter, shift your focus, and start navigating your story toward a brighter future.

✨ The Lightbearer's Challenge ✨
What is one small positive fact about your life—one thing that absolutely doesn't suck—that you are committed to focusing on for the next 24 hours? Share it in the comments below! I'd love to cheer you on.

If you find yourself still caught in a negative spiral after this, listen to this journal entry next on how to stop that spiral in five minutes, so you can get on to writing a better story! Stop a Negative Thought Spiral in 5 Minutes

XOXO,
Kate Harmony 

#rewriteyourstory #selflove #changeyourlife #journaling #whenlifesucks #mentalhealth #selfimprovement #personalgrowth #motivation #negativespiral #lifelessons #lightbearerslibrary 

Hello dear soul, welcome to the Lightbearer's Library 🕊️

In this journal entry, we delve into the topic of mental resilience, proving that a positive mindset is not about never falling into a negative thought spiral, but about the speed of our recovery. An emotional dip is fine, but the time spent in it should be minimal to preserve momentum.

We’ve all experienced how one small failure, difficult comment, or self-doubt can derail us into hours of wasted energy, regret, and rumination. This pattern steals our most sacred asset, time, and drains our life force. Therefore, we must learn how to defend it by breaking the rumination cycle, shifting our emotional state, and starting to reclaim our day's upward momentum.

So, that’s where the emotional momentum reset comes in, or what I’m calling a 3-2-1 Reset. It is a 5-minute process that turns a five-hour rut into a brief pause. Discover the practical wisdom of the 3-2-1 Reset: 3 seconds to diagnose the emotion, 2 minutes of physical movement, and 1 daily non-negotiable action that you have committed to in order to rebuild your self-trust. Find out more about this non-negotiable action in this journal entry called: The 1% rule is the cure for despair

The journey starts now. Ready to recover faster?

✨ The Lightbearer's Challenge ✨

The measure of a Lightbearer is how quickly they can return to the light. Let’s put this to the test!

For the next seven days, use the 3-2-1 Reset and report back on the time you saved.

Listen to This Next: The vital context for Step 3 (The 1% Action) is in this journal entry: The 1% Rule is the cure for despair

XOXO,
Kate Harmony 

#NegativeThoughtSpiral #ReclaimYourTime #RecoverySpeed #EmotionalReset #AnxietyRelief #SelfDoubt #MentalHealth #PersonalGrowth #SpiritualGrowth #MindsetAsSkill #QuickMindsetShift #InnerPeace #LightbearersLibrary 

Hello dear soul, welcome to Lightbearer's Library 🕊️ If you are an INFP in survival mode, struggling with draining family expectations and the weight of obligation, today’s journal entry is for you.

Dealing with intense emotional overwhelm and a chaotic world, many of us intuitive introverts are forced into survival mode, making the difficult choice to temporarily isolate and establish radical boundaries to prevent a downward spiral.

Join me as I share my own experience of needing to cut off external noise, embrace self-preservation, and why understanding your personality type gives you the necessary permission to prioritize the basics of self-care—you don't owe anyone your energy when you are focused on finding the internal space for meaningful personal growth.

✨ The Lightbearer's Challenge ✨

Commit today to one simple act of self-preservation—like rereading a favorite comfort book or ensuring you eat well. This intentional, necessary isolation is how you strengthen your inner world and find your light again. Please share that one simple act with me, so I can cheer you on!

▶️ Next:

If this journal entry resonated with your need to self-preserve, the next step is to heal. Listen to my journal entry on Emotional Containment to learn how INFPs can move past survival mode and start the healing process: Heal trauma with emotional containment (INFP) 

#INFP #MBTI #INFPSurvivalMode #infppersonality #infplife #INFJ #introvert #boundaries #selfpreservation #selfcare #toxicrelationships #personaldevelopment #lightbearerslibrary 

Hello dear soul, welcome to the Lightbearer's Library 🕊️

In this journal entry, we turn to the words of Alfred Lord Tennyson: "I must lose myself in action, lest I wither in despair."

We all know the paralyzing weight of self-doubt, where the gap between desire and reality feels impossible. This video is about recognizing that inaction is where despair takes root, and that action is not just a tool for progress, but a spiritual necessity—a life preserver for your inner world.

The 1% Rule is the cure for despair because it bypasses the paralysis of perfectionism. It teaches you how to stop procrastinating and start the smallest, non-negotiable daily action. This small, consistent progress is the only path to rebuilding self-trust, shifting your identity from "the person who wants to" to "the person who does."

Discover how embracing the 1% Rule transforms your relationship with yourself and banishes the feeling of "withering" from stagnation. This is essential personal growth for anyone seeking inner world mastery.

The journey starts now. Ready to commit?

✨ The Lightbearer's Challenge ✨

What tiny, consistent commitment (your 1% action) will you make this week to stop "withering"? 

Listen to This Next: If you're feeling the pressure to find your one great calling, listen to: Seeking purpose is exhausting, do this instead

XOXO,
Kate Harmony

#The1PercentRule #curefordespair #selfdiscipline #habitbuilding #personaldevelopment #personalgrowth #selfimprovement #spiritualgrowth #growthmindset #stopwaiting #selfhelp #alfredlordtennyson #LightbearersLibrary 

Are you self-gaslighting? In this journal entry I dive deep into the cost of accepting lies—both the ones society feeds us and, more importantly, the ones we tell ourselves.

When we accept external untruths, we create cognitive dissonance and a dangerous habit of self-gaslighting. This corrosive habit diminishes, demeans, and depresses us, blinding us to our own potential and the truth of the world. But there is a way out: a courageous path to practice truth, challenge the stories we’re told, and live a bigger, healthier, and freer life.

Join me in exploring the healing power of truth and how to become a brave questioner of everything. Let’s set ourselves and society free!

✨ The Lightbearer's Challenge ✨

Let’s connect and share the light! If this message felt freeing, challenging, or helpful, please let me know, what "lie" are you challenging in your own life right now? Share your thoughts in the comments.

Next Step on Your Journey: If you're ready to move past the lies and truly live by truth listen to this journal entry next: Stop asking permission, start trusting your inner voice

XOXO, Kate Harmony

Follow the Lightbearer's Library for more journal entries on bringing light and truth to your personal journey

#SelfGaslighting #SpiritualJourney #PracticeTruth #CognitiveDissonance #Healing #PersonalGrowth #OvercomingLies #InnerFreedom #TruthSeeker #InnerWork #ChallengeTheNarrative #LightbearersLibrary

Hello dear soul, welcome to Lightbearer's Library 🕊️

In this journal entry, we dive deep into the profound truth that our words bless or curse our life. Our words are not passive descriptions; they are the active creators of our reality. Every time we say "I am..." followed by a negative statement, we are using our tongue as a divine pen to write a script of limitation for our future—a self-inflicted curse.

I share the most effective practice I have found to break this negative cycle: The Journaling Practice. You will learn how to catch those negative "I can't" thoughts (like my great-grandmother's "I Can't Jar"), counter them with a life-affirming blessing, and consciously start speaking life and positivity into your future.

The practice starts now. Ready to commit?

✨ The Lightbearer's Challenge: ✨

Follow the Lightbearer's Library to join our community. Then, head down to the comments: What is one curse word (or statement like "I can't") you are banishing from your vocabulary today, and what is the new blessing you are adopting instead?

Want to see which negative thoughts might be hiding in your mind? 

Listen to the journal entry called: Are violent words hiding in your language?

 XOXO, Kate Harmony

#WordsOfPower #SelfTalk #SpiritualGrowth #SelfBlessing #JournalingPractice #Manifestation #PersonalDevelopment #MindsetMatters #KateHarmony #LightbearersLibrary #BlessOrCurse #Affirmations #SelfImprovement